Cav's Place

As I said last year, this is the last July 12 before the time spent suffering after Andra will be more than half of my life, so I guess it’s sort of a milestone. Of course, the day the relationship started is only an anniversary if you stay together, but memories are still mine to keep, so it counts. And this was part of the reason why I even went out today, despite having gone out last evening as well and getting in bed at 7:10 AM, because I wanted to get some kashkaval and make kashkaval pane, which I still associate with that trip we took together, which was the reason why we actually met. But I wanted to get that from Penny, where there were supposed to be packs of 300 grams at a good price, and I ended up not even going there anymore, so I don’t even have that. But it was my choice, and I had been worried that I might do a poor job of it, so finding some expiring vegan “schnitzel” in Carrefour solved the problem, offering something that may at least look somewhat similar, even if it has nothing in common inside, and sparing me the need to cook it and the risk of messing it up, especially on this day.
And now that I said that, I guess I might as well write about all of today here, even if it does seem wrong to put such odds and ends into these posts. So I’ll start with the fact that I slept well until just after noon, but after getting up to pee at that point, I just couldn’t get back to sleep and was even about to give up when, after a long time, it finally seemed that I might have a chance, and I caught two or three naps before getting up, at 2:40 PM, though I really couldn’t say how long they were. And I went out at 5 PM, after doing the day’s squats, taking the recyclables with the deposit symbol and grabbing some more, most of them from that mall, before putting them in the machine from Carrefour. And then I found that thing among the expiring products and also got two things for dad, one of them also expiring and at half price, and a cabbage and a watermelon, which is the first one I buy this year, though I already ate some, brought by my parents. And dad actually called while I was digging through the watermelons. Either way, I also used the voucher received for the recyclables, then struggled to get the cabbage and the watermelon in the backpack, washed my hands, and decided against going to Penny anymore, as I said. So I made my way back, grabbing a few more recyclables, plus one that didn’t have the symbol but was of the right size for a label that I still had, so I placed it on it. And I put all of them in the machine from the nearby Mega Image, seeing that I could open it myself and retrieve the voucher when it remained inside, and then I cashed it and the one I had been left with from yesterday.
I got back at 7:10 PM, with less than 12 kg but having struggled a fair bit with the watermelon pressing against my back and those rope straps digging into my shoulders. But, after cleaning the litter box and going to drop a small bag of trash down the chute, at least it was early enough to also be able to wash before the Supercup match, which started at 8:30 PM and which was why I didn’t stay out later or check Kaufland at all, because I wanted to be done with everything, including lunch, by the end of the match, to be able to focus on writing this after it. And I really don’t see how that could have happened if I’d have had to cook, even if kashkaval pane should be easy, in theory, and I did make some before, albeit for dad… Or mostly for him, since I said that I had bought those pieces of kashaval for him and kept my word, but that was last year and I can’t recall whether he actually ate all of them of left one for a few days and I ended up eating it after all. Either way, I also ate some of that watermelon and it does indeed seem to not be fully ripe yet, which was the impression I got for all of those that were there, but let’s see how the rest of it will be.

Now that I got that out of the way, I’m looking at last year’s post again and see that I was saying that I had two incomplete posts, the one about that year’s half marathon still being basically just a placeholder and the one about that year’s Dream Trek skipping over the actual run… And the sad thing is that, while the one about the Dream Trek was finally finished in January, the one about the half marathon remains untouched even now, and I may need to admit that I’ll never write it, and perhaps just drop the quick notes that I have in there as they are, to at least have that. But at least earlier this week I did manage to finish the post about this year’s half marathon. The one about the Dream Trek doesn’t exist at all, however, though I did expand the few things I scribbled on a piece of paper into a page and a half of notes, so I have plenty to base that post on when I’ll finally get around to it… The question being when that will be, especially since I don’t write about runs out of order, so I’m stuck at that point and can’t add the rest even if it’s already written. But I will mention that this week’s run was the first decent one in a long time, since I got back to 10 km after the Dream Trek and the time was 47:42.60, making it the first one below 48 minutes since November and the best since October. Admittedly, I didn’t run 10 km between the end of January and the morning run done on the week of the half marathon, but that was because I was awfully slow and decided to at least be slow on longer distances.

Back on what really should be this post’s topic, I didn’t really find anything new this year either, still only professional stuff and only a couple more mentions even from that point of view, plus the confirmation that she’s still there. So I’ll once again say that maybe no news, or at least no significant news, is good news, but that’s one big “maybe” and what’d matter for me won’t be noticeable in those things. And, otherwise, I do still wonder if she may at least sometimes remember. Not the date, I guess, especially since she wasn’t remembering such things even back then, but the time together, what we had, and in a good way, not with hate or just the negative aspects. Probably not… But it can happen in my mind. What else do I have, after all this time? I mean, this September 27 will mark 21 years since she left, and the point when I’d have spent more than half my life suffering after her will come earlier that month. Unless a miracle will happen by then, of course, or unless I’ll die first, with the latter prospect being more and more disappointing as time passes. But that’s how it was all along, and I’ll keep saying that if I could go back and do or say something after she left, or right after she got back and I was being kicked out, when I was going through ways to end it, it’d be to grow a pair and do it, or just push myself directly if I could, because that was when it made some sense and when the raw pain which hadn’t scabbed over might have just been enough to overpower my cowardice. Because, as I saw it said once, he who thinks of suicide proves that he’s a coward, he who committed suicide proved that he was brave. And things only got worse ever since, and the only thing that could make it worth it would be getting back together and things actually working wonderfully between us, with me as I am… Which would be impossible even if we somehow would get back together…

I just learned that this is apparently the Week of Visibility for Non-Monogamy, and in a way it’s rather fitting, from a personal point of view, that this year it ends on July 12. But July 12 is a topic for July 12, so let me move on and say that the event seems to have existed in this form since 2024, after launching as a single day in 2023, and in a way it is an answer with a wider scope to Polyamory Day, which was apparently launched back in 2017 and is on November 23 each year, not that I knew of that either until now. Or at least I think I didn’t, though I guess there is a small chance that I have seen something about it at some point but forgot by now, not that it matters either way. And there does also seem to be a Polyamory Pride Day that’s supposed to be part of Pride Month, on June 11 it would seem, though I’m not finding sources that I’d consider to be “official” that confirm the exact date… And I can’t say that I ever noticed polyamory, or non-monogamy in general, being included in Pride events, though it really should be.
Then again, it’s not even illegal, not to mention socially unacceptable or even questionable, to discriminate based on relationship model, so the need for such efforts is greater than that for efforts in support of non-heterosexuality, at least in the more or less developed world, but at the same time it comes with risks that may understandably make those who did gain a fair degree of legal protection and social acceptance wary of the association. Plus that there is the argument that one’s relationship model is a choice, or at least more of a choice than their sexual orientation, which is fair to some extent, though negating what is right for you in such a crucial part of life is terribly difficult and, in my view, just as wrong regardless of the specific aspect in question.
Either way, my personal interest, if you want to use that term for what I think and feel is right, is being open to polyamory. Not specifically seeking multiple partners but being open to and prepared for the fact that you may fall in love with someone else while already in a romantic relationship and that this doesn’t in any way mean that you stop loving your current partner(s), much less that you need to leave them or choose between them and the new love, so you can end up having romantic relationships with up to a few different people at the same time, and perhaps be open to romantic or sexual activities with close friends as well, as long as all those involved know about it and agree and arrangements are made that everyone can be content with. And this relationship model is probably one that’s much more likely to be seen as potentially acceptable by those willing to at least consider the notion than other kinds of non-monogamy, which may lead to the same kind of wariness to associate with the larger umbrella of non-monogamy as that probably experienced by non-heterosexuals when it comes to non-monogamy, and I admit that I’d personally find it difficult to argue in favor of some of those other models, but that’s not the correct attitude and complete personal agreement isn’t necessary, what needs to be stressed being that, as long as all those involved know the specifics and give their informed consent for it all, different relationship models are exactly that, different, not good or bad, not better or worse.
Now that I check, I see that the last time I even mentioned the term “polyamory” was back in July of 2011, the last time I mentioned it in a post that wasn’t entirely personal was in 2009, and the last time I wrote specifically about this was in 2007… And that post states that I planned to continue at a later time, and in fact the post that should have continued that series has been in my drafts all this time… But all it contains is the title and a link to the previous ones. And while there are a few more recent posts if I also look for “polyamorous”, from 2019, 2016, 2012, or in October of 2011, those are just passing mentions. More on topic is the quick review for Sex at Dawn, also from 2019, where I mentioned the criticism of serial monogamy and enforced exclusivity. But I do find myself surprised by how the topic seems to have just vanished off my radar for so long despite how strongly I feel about it… But, then again, my last post specifically about relationships is also from October of 2011, so this should at least count for something, even if it’s not much. And I guess it proves that the event actually worked as intended in my case, making the topic “visible” again in my own mind.

Full disclosure: I received this book through a giveaway on The StoryGraph. This has in no way influenced the opinions expressed in this review.

I must say that The Ordinary Bruja is a book of very different parts, so if I’m to start with the good I must skip well ahead, the parts where it shines being those that take place under the hill. There are some more good moments here and there and the writing shows promise all along, but that’s where it actually delivers. One reason is probably that the fantasy elements can run loose there, no longer being confined in any way by the contemporary setting, but the differences go well beyond what may be explained by that, so it may also be a matter of more attention being paid to those chapters, and maybe of the author feeling more comfortable depicting a powerful, collected, determined Marisol who’s fighting back and fulfilling the mission thrust upon her.

It takes a while to get there, however, and the earlier parts may be somewhat difficult to get through. The fact that it’s a pretty light read overall helps with that, and being a coming of age story that’s very well anchored in the present times, including characters glued to their smartphones and the way in which social networks are currently used, or misused, may make it work better for a teen or young adult audience. But it may hit too close to home for some, perhaps most notably in the parts about bullying, and I was starting to feel awkward wondering when, or whether, all of that will be over and done with, modern settings being something that I’d much rather stay away from in general.
Admittedly, that may be a matter of preference, and perhaps of having some years, or maybe even a decade or two, too many, but I don’t think that can also explain the issues I have with Marisol’s denial phase. True, I remember taking issue with how strongly some characters denied the supernatural elements despite the evidence the few other times I read urban fantasy, but here the denial of magic is mixed with the denial of feelings and both are just overdone, drag on too long, are emphasized too much… The later lasts even longer but nevertheless lacks the impact it should have, and then makes for such a missed opportunity for emotionally charged moments that was simply ignored, while in case of the former an additional issue is the overblown persistence of the magic against it, when something like this should probably develop more gradually and subtly.
Then again, there’s simply too much magic and it’s too visible, too obviously powerful, for such a contemporary, realistic setting. Considering the quality of the parts where it can truly be unfettered, it makes some sense, but it requires a strange kind of suspension of disbelief, especially when the few minor characters that happen to be mentioned and the general public that you have to assume exists don’t seem to take note. That may be explained to some extent by the fact that what’s meant to be a series spanning generations begins with the end of the story, which is actually specified in the afterword, but when you just read this book, which is the only one that currently exists anyway, it’s quite jarring.
Actually, speaking of the fact that the following books in the planned series are apparently supposed to go back and depict what happened before, how things got to this point, it strikes me as the sort of thing to do when readers are already sufficiently invested to desire the details, to want to know just how things happened when they already know what happened and the final outcome. And, to put it bluntly, I’m not. And I don’t see how many could be after a single book, and a relatively light one at that, at least if we’re talking about being interested in the story and the action in itself and not of any mental links one may make.
On that note, I recognize that the use of Spanglish makes sense in that setting and for those characters, and most probably also for the primary target audience, who’ll find many more aspects to relate to as well, but for someone who doesn’t directly relate to the main character for personal and quite specific reasons, it just makes some things incomprehensible because of one crucial flaw: There are no translations. Or, all right, sometimes the translation appears right after the bit that’s in Spanish, but often it doesn’t, and sometimes it may even be difficult to tell, so I quickly gave up. I could have probably figured out most of it if I tried, and anything else would have just required copying the word or phrase into a translator, but the reasonable thing to do, if the author cared for readers who are outside that target niche, would have been to add footnotes to translate each of those bits. So, if she doesn’t care, I decided that I won’t either.
And, to finish with some odds and ends, it was rather strange to see that “playlist” at the end, but I did look up all of the songs, finding a few that were pretty nice, but plenty that I couldn’t even get myself to listen to for more than a matter of seconds, so I guess it’s another matter of different tastes. And seeing one listed out of position and another appearing before the chapter number and title instead of after makes me think that the section was added in a hurry, since the editing is otherwise very good… Or nearly so, which actually made it stand out when I spotted something, like using “condensation” instead of condescension, a “Kiar” instead of Kia, and maybe a spot where a “them” may probably indicate changing the idea mid-sentence.

Now, I focus on the negatives, so it may not look like it after all of the complaints listed above, but the truth is that The Ordinary Bruja shows promise and has some parts that can really pull you in. But it’s quite obviously mainly meant for a specific target audience, for people who can directly relate to the main character, though a wider range of teens and young adults may possibly also get more from it, even if certain issues that are brought up may hit too close to home. For the rest of us, it can be read relatively easily, in a detached manner, with a focus on the parts that take place under the hill and a few other better moments, though small changes like the addition of footnotes for the Spanglish would be needed. The contrasting issues of the overdone denial phase and the magic that is too obvious for a contemporary setting would be harder to fix, however, and that also goes for the lack of emotional impact of the romance.

Rating: 3/5

While I didn’t feel bad for any of the teams that didn’t pass the group stage at this World Cup, things definitely changed in the round of 32 and I felt really sorry for Croatia when they lost to Portugal, even more so since I can’t stand Cristiano Ronaldo, and for Senegal when they lost to Belgium despite really deserving the win and Belgium doing next to nothing until close to the end of the normal time. And I also found myself rather disappointed when Cote d’Ivoire lost to Norway, and somewhat torn when DR Congo lost to England, the issue there going past football and being that DR Congo is hardly a country you’d want to support, considering how things stand over there. And, on the other hand, I did cheer for Paraguay when they got past Germany on penalties, and was quite pleased when Morocco got past Netherlands, also on penalties, though the difference there is that I wouldn’t consider Morocco underdogs anymore. But Cabo Verde definitely were the very definition of the term all along, and they had already surpassed all expectations from their very first match, when they held Spain to a 0-0 draw, then did far better by getting through that group from second place, and tonight they should have really earned everyone’s respect, despite ultimately losing 3-2 to Argentina, after extra time.
Admittedly, I’d have felt bad for Messi to get kicked out as well, especially since this is almost certainly his last World Cup, but I didn’t even consider the possibility at the start of the match, and after that first goal I was sure that from then on it was just a matter of whether Argentina still cared to play and score more or the match was going to turn into one of those boring ones between a team that’s unwilling and one that’s unable to do much of anything, and that Cabo Verde had little real reason to change anything because losing only by 1-0, or even by 2-0, to Argentina would have still been a reason for pride. But then they drew level and that all changed, and I started paying more attention to just how they played, how calm and collected they were, how they never seemed to act in desperation, how they never cleared balls just to get rid of them. And taking the match to extra time seemed like a coronation for their efforts, so the fact that Argentina scored after just two minutes didn’t change my impression in any way… Only for them to not only get back on the offensive, but actually draw level a second time, and thanks to an amazing goal as well. And that made me actually consider Messi being eliminated so early as a realistic possibility, so I’d have felt bad for someone either way it went. But I’d have been glad if Cabo Verde would have somehow made it, while Argentina eventually scoring again, even if the ball came off a defender and what’d have happened otherwise being far from certain, and just managing to withstand Cabo Verde’s attacks until then end, just feels normal if I look at it from their side.
Now I guess I’m just left with Paraguay as an underdog to cheer for in the last 16, though I really don’t see how they could have any chance against France, so this may be pretty much it. I mean, there is Argentina’s next opponent, Egypt, but I can’t really see myself getting behind them in that manner. And, past that, Morocco is in a far better position against Canada than they were against Netherlands, possibly even being favorites, and while Mexico may also be seen as having pretty poor chances against England, they’re at a different level and not a team you can get behind in that manner and for such reasons. So maybe there will be matches that will be nice to watch in themselves, between two teams that will play well, but unless Paraguay will produce such a massive shock, this seems to be pretty much it when it comes to having real reasons to get behind such underdogs. Not that I won’t support Morocco if they’ll end up playing against France in the next round, but, again, I wouldn’t exactly call Morocco underdogs anymore.

Back in 2023, I was saying that football should learn from how handball handles playing time. And I still fully stand by that statement and think that it’s the proper way to do it. But I must admit that the rule changes meant to reduce time wasting implemented at this World Cup are working out really well, clearly increasing the actual playing time while reducing the amount of added time… At least so far, since players may start to find loopholes, and some have already done so, but the improvement is massive when the ball has to get back in play quickly, substitutions can no longer drag on and, I’d say most notably, players need a very good reason to request medical assistance, seeing as they’ll need to stay out of play for a while after doing so. I’d still favor the idea of play not being stopped for substitutions, which would really force players to run out, but the impact and the “mechanics” of substitutions in football may make that difficult, at least at the moment.
And then there are also the changes to increase the power of VAR, adding more things that can be reviewed, and the improved systems are making the checks much, much faster as well, all of these being absolute positives, with no caveats, so my only problem with VAR remains the very fact that limits do exist and it’s not a “challenge” system, where the coach and/or possibly the team captain have a certain number of “challenges”, which when brought up will require the referee to watch the replays of whatever moment generated the challenged decision and only get used up if proven wrong. Admittedly, there have been experiments with this, but there were still limits and those experiments don’t seem to have been continued.
The one unpleasant new rule are the “hydration breaks” that are, very clearly, ad breaks introduced primarily for the benefit, and probably at the pressure, of American TV stations which are used to such a system for sports and unwilling to deal with long stretches of time without ad breaks, the existing rule that stated that cooling breaks had to be permitted during each half when the temperature was truly high being enough if hydration was the actual purpose. And the fact that these breaks are also used by the teams as technical time-outs makes the new rules that state that other moments of stoppage time can’t be used in such a manner seem weird. But what I see as a huge missed opportunity is the fact that time isn’t actually stopped during these breaks, which therefore result in a “default” three minutes of added time for each half, any actual added time being added on top of that. I mean, those are obvious breaks and if there was a moment to introduce the concept of actually stopping time in football, they were the perfect opportunity. And time should obviously also be stopped during VAR checks or when the medical team is on the field, so it won’t still fall on the referee to take those moments into account and lead to questions about the amount of added time, especially when teams need it… Like it was in this morning’s Algeria – Austria match. Then again, I for one have serious questions about that match, despite the apparently dramatic ending. But that’s an entirely different matter.
Getting back to the point of this post, there are some questionable elements and there is still room for improvement in case of the rest, but these changes actually seem to go in the right direction for once and actually work out really well in practice, so I’m hoping to see them implemented as general rules of the sport as soon as possible, preferably from the start of the 2026-2027 season. This doesn’t mean that FIFA isn’t still rotten to the core, of course, and that can be seen in so many ways, but in case of these particular elements, they’re getting it right and I have to recognize the fact.