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I’m 30…

If you don’t count a few e-mails from various sites and a text message from a shop offering me a 1% discount, which used to be higher in previous years, only two people mentioned it today, so that’s some improvement. Doesn’t make the day any better and my standard reply to the standard birthday wish here, which would literally translate to “many years to come”, is still “if they’re like the ones that passed, I don’t want them”, but it could have been worse.
Still, the day didn’t start well at all, since some neighbor decided to start drilling at around 10:20 AM and, even though the noise didn’t last that long, it was probably around noon by the time I could get back to sleep. Then, after some fainter noise briefly woke me up again at some point, I finally crawled out of bed at 3 PM and couldn’t do much of anything by the time dad got home, about an hour later. Because of that, I’m still wondering when I’ll manage to clean my room, since I’ve been meaning to do it since the start of the week but I’m yet to get around to it.
Also meant to go for a walk one of these days, or perhaps on more than one of them, since the weather seems to be so nice, but that health card was apparently delivered on Monday and I had to go to the post office and pick it up yesterday, obviously without managing to tell anyone, not even an innocent postal worker, exactly what I think about these cards and where to shove them. And since I did that without shaving and it counts as having gone out this week, I didn’t feel like going anywhere else now.
In addition, something else broke in the bathroom, so couldn’t use that sink for the past several days, and have to be careful with the one in the kitchen as well, as that has been having problems for years and now it feels like it may not survive someone not being careful enough when turning on the water. Replacements have been bought yesterday, though the one for the bathroom is a cheap piece of shit that’s also too small and will make it rather nasty to use that sink from now on anyway, but so far dad doesn’t seem to have too much success in installing anything. He tried with the bathroom today, the result being that at the moment everything’s in pieces around there and I can’t shower either.

I guess that’s about it for now. If anyone expected any balance sheet or plans for the future now that I reached such a milestone age, there won’t be any. The parts of the past that made it seem that life may actually be worth living in some ways keep getting more distant and the future is ever bleaker. Was actually telling someone a few days ago that when it comes to causes or world issues, I can at least still hold on to some illusion of hope that I may be able to do something to play a small part in creating some good change, but when it comes to my personal life, I don’t even have that anymore.


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