Let me start with this week’s run, which was two days ago. Seven kilometers again and managed a time I didn’t believe possible until over five kilometers into it. I mean, was thinking it’ll be fine if I’ll just stick to something similar to what I managed last time, since even a 35:30 would require both laps matching the time managed in the second lap then, while still having enough to match the time in that final portion as well. But then I found myself doing the first lap in 16:10, with intermediate times of 4:38, 5:25 and 6:07, respectively, and this made me aim for a time under 35:30 after all. Then, in the second lap, after a pretty good sector one time of 4:35, it was when I saw the 5:15 managed in sector two that I realized I may just get under 35 minutes if I really pushed. Sector three was covered in 6:06, making for a lap time of 15:56 which isn’t only the best lap time for any run longer than what used to be the usual 4.1 kilometers but seems to be the fifth or sixth best lap time overall. That still seemed to leave me with too little to spare, but I just pushed as hard as I could, sprinted for the final part, and managed a 2:52 for the final sector, for a final time of 34:58!
Should probably dig up the posts about runs and list the best times somewhere, or maybe even all times. For those on the track, I pretty much only have the total time, as for laps I only have some rough times, rounded to a number of seconds divisible by five, but I guess I could post the best of those as well. As for the park, until recently I listed the total time it took to reach a sector, so if I’m to list actual sector times I’ll need to calculate them. Not sure which is better, listing sectors separately or the total time to reach a certain “checkpoint”. Will definitely list lap times separately though, but then it’s only recently that a run started including more than one lap, after all.
Moving on, yesterday I went out again. Had three trips left on the ten-trip metro card bought six months ago for the times when I’d really need to use the metro and dad would need his monthly pass as well, and since the card expired today I decided to use them to explore a little more, the first destination being the park close to where my grandmother lives. Don’t even know if I was taken there more than a few times when I was a little kid and actually lived there, and certainly haven’t been in it since, so I said I might as well, since one of the metro lines was extended to that point in 2011.
It’s a pretty small place, compared to the parks I’m used to, but seemed nice enough. Paths far too wide for my liking and was wondering why at some point I was seeing benches only on one side, but the feeling I got from it was nice enough during the 15 minutes I spent there, before quite unexpectedly finding myself back at the entrance across the street from the metro station, having obviously gone all around already despite taking it slowly.
Was feeling rather down though, and I knew I was holding off another crash for quite some time, so was wondering whether I’ll just break down somewhere in public as I made my way to the next destination. And I guess this made me decide what that next destination even was, since I initially meant to hop off the metro at Tineretului but was sort of thinking of making my way to Carol Park from there, but that suddenly didn’t seem like a good idea anymore. I did enjoy Carol Park the few times I went there, but I felt like in a bit of a race against time and that park also carries some memories that’d have only made it worse, so I decided to just go in Tineretului after all.
Not that I wasn’t completely at a loss there too, just entering and looking around, wondering what the fuck am I doing there, or anywhere for that matter. Spotted a narrow dirt path climbing on the surrounding hills from the insanely wide path starting from the main entrance, going around the stairs, and I just made my way up there. Looked around again and saw a young couple sitting near the top of the next section of stairs, obviously seeking privacy, so at first I meant to head in the other direction, but just couldn’t get myself to move much… And the bittersweet feeling caused by seeing them, added to seeing two others hugging and kissing in front of me in the metro, resulted in something that was neither bitter nor sweet, but just terribly sad and disheartening.
Walked towards them after all, but only after noticing another narrow path created by others right next to the stairs, allowing me to climb while hoping I won’t intrude upon their little world. Once at the next level, if I may use the term, I met a few guys coming down, one of whom greeted me two or three times, before I nodded back and then was left staring at their backs in confusion, since I definitely didn’t recall having seen any of them before. It did tell me that others were exploring that area, and also that there was something worth exploring, since the rough paths I saw were leading pretty much into a forest… Which on the one hand is a nice thing to find in a city, but on the other made me feel quite anxious, mainly worried about somebody rushing from behind a tree to mug me or beat me up or who knows what else.
Still, picked one path and kept going, finding myself utterly alone until I saw a homeless person that I assume was sleeping on the stairs leading down to another entrance. Then, as I ignored those stairs and kept going, I was once again alone until I saw a guy climb up somewhere ahead, where that path finally ended in a corner of the park. But making my way to the sidewalk there didn’t mean I was heading back, as I got back in the park at those stairs I had spotted earlier, using another narrow dirt path to get back up without actually walking past the homeless person, and then took the other path starting in the spot where that guy had greeted me.
Since this path ran alongside that wide one starting from the park’s main entrance, I did see a few people sitting at the top of the stairs leading down, and then also a larger group somewhere above, letting me know that there was something interesting there too. And, after walking a little further to avoid them, I reached that even higher path by using another narrow dirt one to climb a slope that was just about as steep as I possibly could climb without using my hands as well, my feet slipping quite a few times.
This highest path was running alongside the park fence on that side and I did spot a couple of runners, a cyclist or two, an old man walking his dog and another couple walking past, acting as another painful reminder that I can’t share any of it with her. As I got to the part where the concrete and stone wall made way for metal fences and the aging or even ruined buildings on the other side made way for pretty nice houses, with entrances leading from this path to the streets running between them, I even saw one or two parents with children. Got out at that point too, using one of those streets and then making my way back to the metro station… Which involved going all the way back on the sidewalk instead of simply turning around and staying in the park as I made my way back to the entrance.
And then I did pretty much nothing, and still couldn’t even cry. Finally crawled in bed around 9:15 PM or so and eventually fell asleep, woke up a few minutes before 11 PM, managed to get up some time later, then spent about half an hour pretty much simply standing there, occasionally pacing around my room, but didn’t even do much of that. So barely managed to read two pages, if even that, of this other book I started now, which is also quite a responsibility since it’s not released and I guess I’m sort of helping edit it. Or, more exactly, I was just asked to read it, give an honest opinion and point out anything I feel should be pointed out, but I can’t just read it in this case, switched to this other mode and this means I can barely get through a few pages per day and feel even worse because of it with each passing moment, being another thing I obviously suck at.
As for last week, had happened to look up at the ceiling a couple of weeks before and spotted mold, apparently starting above my door and having spread from there. Ceiling hadn’t usually been affected before, and if there was a little mold on it, it wasn’t there, so that was weird and also difficult to do something about, but dad bought something to cover the bed with and after I put the books on the desk and moved the bookcase next to the window, he sprayed that area… Only to then notice that it had spread even further on the ceiling, a few spots being in this area above the desk as well, where we couldn’t spray at the time, and we didn’t have enough stuff left to spray with anyway.
Not sure when we’ll spray this area too, and now I’m seeing mold on the wall as well, above the desk, though what’s strange is that I’m not seeing anything if I try to look behind the desk. Not the first time this happens, but it seems no less odd. So I guess I’ll need to take the computer out and move the desk again, and doing different parts of the room at such different times obviously means I’m not doing much of anything and simply allowing the mold to move from one place to another, but I don’t care that much anymore… Though it makes me sad that it’s obvious that the books have been affected too. But that’s nothing new; not by a long shot.
Actually kept the books on the desk for a couple of days; think it was only Friday night that I put them back, and then only Saturday that I cleaned the rest of the room a little. And this was after spraying on Wednesday, when I went out as I waited for the smell and vapors to clear, first trying to look for a firm which should be nearby but which I couldn’t find, then having a quick walk through the park next to the stadium, where I don’t usually go, also ending up on a high path and then making my way down on a steep one that I just barely managed to stay on my feet on. Also had a quick look at this other park nearby on my way back, but only spent a few minutes there, though I have to admit that at least the small areas between the unreasonably large number of paved paths are finally starting to slowly look like a park, after the entire relatively “wild” area was initially cleared away in order to plant new trees, which will obviously need decades before they’ll have as much to offer as those that were butchered in such a manner.
As for Thursday, went to the book fair. Found a few interesting things, but had no money on me, so simply went to have a look, and was already in a rather poor state as I got there because I didn’t check the map again before leaving and, since I only go in that part of the city once per year, for this fair, I forgot how to get there and spent quite some time trying to figure it out, since of course none of the information kiosks in the area worked. And then I was also recognized by the person manning the stand of this on-line bookstore I tend to buy from, who greeted me quite enthusiastically as I was walking past.
That messed me up right then and there. Shaky, sweaty, heart racing and pretty much just awkwardly standing there until a pen or something of that sort fell under the table and I picked it up, as she was exchanging contact details with someone with a camera. Probably shouldn’t have, since that made her thank me, also saying my name, and asking me to sit or at least have a look, which I sort of just pretended to do for a few seconds, before waving and walking away, in no state to spend much more time there.
Hadn’t checked many of the other smaller stands though, so I pretty much just wandered around a little longer, only glancing around quickly, making sure nobody could consider me interested enough to say anything, and then got out, ignoring the larger stands I had left for the end. Not that there would have been anything interesting for me there, but did mean to at least spend some time looking if I wouldn’t have been shaking and nauseous.
And then, of course, Sunday I voted, again going early… And finding the “newspaper” promoting PSD’s candidate in the notice board, which is locked so I couldn’t get it out. However, since it’s illegal to have campaign materials in public even on the day before election day, not to mention on the day itself, and I definitely oppose that candidate, after coming back I grabbed my camera, paper, sticky tape and scissors and, after taking a “before” picture, covered the bottom of the notice board. Was awkward when a neighbor came in and obviously saw what I was doing, but neither of us said anything as he waited for the elevator and I waited for him to leave, then took an “after” picture, decided to put more tape, took another picture and went back inside.
Got back out a couple of hours later and saw the paper torn away. Had the materials with me, expecting just such a situation, but too many people were going in and out by then and didn’t cover it again, though I then kept wondering whether I shouldn’t have written something on the paper, such as the polling station where the people living here should vote. Would have been useful information, so they won’t have to look it up once there, and may have been left there in that case, but was already too late. And that candidate sadly won anyway, as it was clear she would, but the good news is that the new party I supported got a result that was better than expected as well and this translated into a fair number of people in all councils.