I’ll go about this in reverse order and start with the fact that apparently another cable was cut today, leaving me with no Internet access. However, what I gathered when dad eventually called was that it wasn’t this network’s cable that was cut, but a fiber line belonging to those they connect through, and it was fixed quickly. I mean, according to my logs, it failed at some point between 12:34 PM and 12:50 PM, I only tried to get on-line and noticed the issue around 4 PM, at which point dad called, and the network’s administrator said he was on the next building at the time, having seen that it was that main cable that’s not theirs that was cut and nothing wrong with their own, and was about to call that other company to fix it. And around 6 PM it was working again, which was a surprisingly fast fix for something like this, when I hardly dared hope it’ll be done today.
Of course, the bigger issue is that, if it was cut once, it can be cut again, possibly even tomorrow. Especially since he said the next building, which has work done on it at this time, so it may well be the workers that got to the spot where the cable was and got rid of it. So if it was fixed around 6 PM it may mean that was done just when they finished their shift for today and they may well scratch their heads a little at it being in the way again next morning and just get rid of it a second time. But it works now, and that’s one of the reasons I’m rushing to post this today as well.
Getting to last night, I felt a sudden need to go to the toilet once again shortly before 1 AM, and the result was, shall we say, explosive, and also black despite not having eaten anything dark that day or even the previous one. Also, that was the third time that day, so couldn’t have been anything older anyway, and the first two seemed quite fine. The second felt a bit strange, true, but I did run yesterday and then ate watermellon as well, so something of the sort in terms of number and even consistency was rather expected, but black usually means blood higher in the digestive tract, and that’s definitely a serious concern.
As a result, no salad last night and avoided the food made apparently for me, which would have worsened any such issue, instead only having toast with some cheese and garlic, and made myself some tea for digestive issues as well. And that seemed to help in terms of not needing to go again so far, but it sure felt and continues to feel quite strange, something quite clearly still wrong there and me being weak, sweating unusually, having a bit of a headache… And I doubt whatever caused it to be black last night cleared out completely, so I’ll probably be looking at something similar the next time as well, the more important question being what the source was and what to do about it… And how, when I’m so stressed and frightened even without this added issue.
The particular trigger for all of this now, on top of the more general issues I already wrote about, has to do with a mess with the dentists that appeared after I thought the filling put in six months ago fell off three weeks ago. What made it even more embarrassing was that it apparently didn’t actually fall off, so when I finally did get to go, Monday, I just ended up wasting their time, being told that she probably put a protective layer on my tooth, thinking it may be a bit sensitive after the work done on it, and that fell off, since it’s not meant to be permanent, but the filling is still there. I’m still not quite convinced, but it was very small and I couldn’t be quite sure myself either, so I guess I’ll go with it.
But to get back to how it all started, I knew this new clinic I had switched to also maintained and advertised their site and the option to schedule appointments on-line, but with the old one not caring about this I wanted to play it safe and asked dad to call, and he said nothing at first. When I reminded him, asking whether he’ll do it after all or I should try on-line and see what happens, wanting to be sure I’ll be there less than six months after it was put in, to be sure it’ll still be under warranty in case it’s shorter here, he said he’ll call Friday and schedule me for the following week, when he may have some money again. Which made no sense, since the whole point was to not need to pay for it, and I had said so from the beginning.
Either way, that Friday came and went, nothing happened, and eventually after I reminded him again he said he’ll just head over there and make the appointment directly, since he’ll pass by the area anyway that Monday. Which was admittedly a little strange, since this new clinic that he actually insisted I go to when I wanted to switch is right here, you just cross in front of the store that’s in front of the building and there it is once you’re past it. But I didn’t think there could be any confusion after I had mentioned that the old place didn’t care about on-line and I’m not sure how the new one is or that the old place had a one-year warranty but I’m not sure about the new one, and even less so after I actually caught him when he came in that Monday and told him I assume he passes by there every day since it’s right across the street after he said he did go in when he passed by.
Well, I was wrong, and I noticed that when I did go last Monday, when he said I had been scheduled, at 5:30 PM, and was instead told by the receptionist that I wasn’t and couldn’t be received by my dentist anyway because she doesn’t work Monday evenings and everybody at the clinic knows that, so couldn’t have been scheduled then at all. So, after some more confusion on both sides, I scheduled myself for Wednesday and left, starting to get a bad feeling about it but still not believing dad could have confused the two.
But it was all cleared that evening, when I had to believe that after all, because it was true. Apparenty dad had been called and asked why didn’t I show up, he tried calling me but of course that didn’t help since I didn’t even notice, for some reason he didn’t call my mother to tell her to ask me, and he rescheduled me for another time. And then, after wondering how could I not be there when I was and how could he reschedule me when I had already rescheduled myself, he finally realized he had made the appointment with my old dentist, and also stressed that the filling fell off and needed to be replaced under warranty and all even though she had my file and must have known it couldn’t have been put in by her in that case. So I’m definitely not going to show my face around there again, and in case there will be problems with these ones as well, or when I’ll need to remove another wisdom tooth, since at least the old place seemed to have done a good job with the first one and for a fair bit less than I see this new place would charge, I’ll need to look for options yet again.
Either way, I only ended up going this Monday because I received first a call, which I of course ignored, and then a text message announcing me that due to medical issues my dentist won’t be able to come in on Wednesday and to contact them to reschedule, so I did that on-line… And did it by writing a long e-mail also explaining that I don’t deal with calls and what had happened to create that initial confusion which obviously wasn’t in any way their fault, and then also explaining all the problems with the old place and how I hoped it won’t be the same with this new one and yet it seemed to be and, in short, just kept digging myself deeper and then was too scared to read any reply and pretty much withdrew completely after I did receive it and could reschedule.
And that of course became even worse when I did go and only wasted their time, while at the same time still not being convinced myself and feeling too embarrassed and too angry and too frightened and just going crazier than usual. And I’ve been in that state all this time and ever since and only getting worse, too scared to even read other messages, even struggling to make myself read Alma’s, in “stealth mode” around the house, also still having the money issues there and the complete clash in approach between me and my parents and the fact that I can’t talk or write or even try to read a message without losing it… Which I guess is a good enough reason for that black blood, even from something like stomach ulcer.
And yes, I did run this week, yesterday, when it was quite hot but just needed to keep my mind on putting one foot in front of the other or something. In the shade it was all right, but in the parts of the route where the sun was shining it was a problem, and it probably wasn’t a good idea to try, but I managed 35:20, with sector times of 4:36, 5:19, 6:06, 4:40, 5:15, 6:14 and 3:10, making for lap times of 16:01 and 16:09. Very slow final sector there though, showing that I was quite tired by then, and definitely far more tired than I should have been considering the time. Still didn’t exhaust myself to the point of dropping, as I keep meaning to in a desperate attempt to let some of this out, but it was probably too much even so and another part of the reason for those problems noticed last night and which are likely to continue… I just hope they will somehow fix themselves, though black blood doesn’t seem like something likely to do so.