Since I haven’t posted anything so far this week and I’ll be out for most of the day, have to give myself one hour now at night and see what I can throw here during it. The rest will probably be in a Sunday update I won’t be able to avoid this week, the only way to do so being to finish Magician: Apprentice, which I did end up starting Wednesday despite this meaning “using up” another one of the few connections left to the only period during which it seemed that there might just be some sort of purpose and point in anything, and have the quick review for it be that second post. But I’m only halfway through it now, so should finish Monday at this pace, and even this will be hard to maintain if I’ll be out most of the day now. Either way, considering that evening’s race as well, I’ll need to decide early on Sunday whether I’ll try to write a personal update or read, because doing both seems out of the question.
To start with Sunday, the note I found on the kitchen table at night, written by dad but supposedly from both of them, just wished me health, which I’ll take, but things got annoying and then utterly infuriating during the day. It was actually rather odd when Alma sent me the typical wish, translated literally as “many years to come”, despite saying she knows I’ll throw a fit and she’d do the same, but I largely waved that away with the typical depressed reply. That was only because I saw her message before the e-mail from my mother, who wasn’t here those days, though, as that was this stinking pile of shit about the day of my birth being the happiest day of her life because God blessed her with me and I became her life’s purpose and so on, which resulted in muscles spasming and me bumping into things as I got up and started composing a message in my mind, starting with the fact that it was obviously the unhappiest day of mine, as without that one none of the others and all the shit and suffering they brought with them would have existed, and then getting really nasty, lashing out with anything and everything I could think of. But I first went to the kitchen and could at least breathe somewhat more normally by the time I got back, so just replied to say she should assume I did reply and that she’s wrong if she thinks she can imagine the fury and the, for lack of a more suitably powerful term, sadness that would have been in that reply, and to just leave me the fuck alone with these things!
If I’d have seen Alma’s message after that one, she’d have gotten a lot of shit, so told her she really dodged a bullet with that one. And I guess Liz did too, as she seems to have decided to send me a message as well, even though we hadn’t exchanged any in quite some time otherwise, and that did come later, but it was inspired by what used to be the typical birthday wish I made for a number of years, until quite recently, so was therefore tolerable. And then Alexandra sent a “happy birthday” on Monday, which I just saw in the evening and just dismissed with the typical depressed reply “reserved” for that.
Getting to Monday, I wandered around again, buying some things from three different hypermarkets, and tearing another plastic bag in the process. Hadn’t been using it for long, but it had been a while and it wasn’t doing too well before that moment either, obviously not having been made to carry much weight, and when I put the two pumpkins I had bought in it, I was left holding just the torn handles. So I’ll have to look through the pile and pick at least one other, if not two, one of these days, though I made do with another one I already had when I went to get a few more things Tuesday as well. As for that one, I’ll use it one last time when I’ll take out the recyclables, maybe even when I’ll go out this afternoon, leaving it there along with them.
The shopping wasn’t the only reason I went out again Tuesday, however, the main plan for that day being to attend an event during which a report about the massive protests at the start of this year was to be presented, followed by a discussion about what should come next. And I did get there on time, in fact five minutes early, despite leaving a bit late and even running at times to be sure I won’t be late, only to need to wait for the moderator and two of the guests to arrive as well, as they were apparently stuck in traffic. At least the delay wasn’t long, but I can’t say I got anything out of the event other than perhaps seeing a guy I was quite a fan of back in the day, by which I’m referring to the moderator, and the confirmation that he can still dominate pretty much anyone in a discussion and keep such talks in check.
The problem was that, at least if you don’t count the one presenting the report, who did her part well enough, the speakers were pretty much speaking around the questions they were being asked, once the discussion got to that point, and had little of any relevance to offer, some of the ideas even being harmful, at least in my view, and that of others who were there as well. And then the moderator suddenly said he had to leave and everything degenerated into a mess, people talking over each other, some talking for too long, plenty of back and forth exchanges that drowned out what others might have had to say, little order in how questions were taken, and two increasingly frustrated people who seemed to be organizers but who wouldn’t have normally taken any part in the discussion repeating over the last 30 minutes or so that the event really should be ending, even though it eventually ended at 9:50 PM, 55 minutes after the moderator left, and the time listed for the end had been 10 PM.
And that’s as far as I got during the hour. Meant to squeeze the part about the week’s runs in as well, but just as I finished the above paragraph there was a power failure, which was long enough to make me turn off the computer too, even if I waited for a couple of minutes before doing so. So now that the power returned before I went to bed and I see that Internet access is working as well, I’m posting this as it is and sure hope the power won’t fail again, neither this morning, to make the UPS wake me up by beeping, nor Sunday evening, when I’ll need to post this week’s second post.