There was a CPU warning just after I turned off the monitor before going to bed last Saturday morning and the seconds of the listed time were different from the previous one, but there was no time synchronization in between. The next one I got, during that day, stuck to this new time though. And I got that while going through some old documents of Andra’s that I hadn’t touched since then, deleting all those she had for school, many I think done together with another student, and just leaving a few that were by or for her. One of those, actually the last one left to open, caused LibreOffice Writer to hang though, so I opened it with WordPad, this apparently being the first time I used that on this computer, and then removed everything that showed up and wasn’t actual content and saved like that, then opened it again in LibreOffice and went through it to remove all those extra spaces and fix a few more things. Wonder what was wrong with that file though, if all others worked just fine. Hope it didn’t contain some malware that can’t be detected now…
Last Sunday was a mess, since my parents are changing most of the living room furniture, my mother having apparently found some suspiciously amazing deals, so that Tuesday they brought a part of the new stuff, dad removed the old parts bit by bit after that, and that Sunday the old stuff was taken away and the last of the new stuff brought in. Somebody with a truck was supposed to come around 1 PM, to carry the old stuff to my grandmother’s, and then I gather that they were going to meet with someone else and pick up the remaining new things together, and last Sunday evening I had been told that they should be here, along with that guy, who was to stay for a while after helping them carry everything inside, before 5 PM, dad first saying between 4:30 PM and 5 PM and then between 4 PM and 5 PM. And dad also said that, with everything moved outside the previous evening, he shouldn’t make noise before leaving, so I should be able to sleep.
Well, things obviously didn’t go that way, and he woke me up around 11 AM, going in and out multiple times, buying drinks and snacks and struggling to find room to stuff them in the fridge, making plenty of noise with bags or who knows what else as well, getting calls… Did manage to nap again for a little while at one point, being woken up again just at 1 PM, when I gathered that he had left for good, but then I thought I heard the door again, and voices whenever I tried to listen, but it was all a blur, I thought it was real but couldn’t really focus, so it might have been a dream or just confusion, something in between. I didn’t risk it, however, assuming they got back sooner, or my mother was brought here early and they didn’t leave again, and eventually I fell fully asleep again, or stopped having those dreams if I was already asleep, and only woke up again at 3:15 PM, just before getting a message from dad, letting me know they’ll be here in ten minutes! So I rushed to the bathroom, then to the kitchen, finding that he had left some dirty stuff around, of course. The handball match had also started and Le Mans was about to finish, and I wanted to watch those as well, and I also wanted to grab plums or grapes and maybe also something sweet, but I obviously had no time for what I wanted and couldn’t decide what to do, losing seconds I couldn’t spare and ending up just turning on the TV for the handball, washing what was in the kitchen and grabbing one of those apples that were starting to spoil.
Was still cutting away the bad parts of that apple when I heard the key in the door, exactly ten minutes after that message, and instead of taking it with me, to wash later, I ended up just dropping it and the knife on the counter, turning the TV off and running to my room without anything. Then I snuck back out when it seemed that everyone had left again for a moment, to bring in another piece, ending up first going to the bathroom to wash my hands, which felt sticky, and staying there while dad and that guy brought in another piece of furniture and left yet again for the next. Then I rushed to the kitchen, threw away the bad parts of the apple, washed the knife and ducked, hiding away when they came in again, breathing a sigh of relief when they left yet again and I could also wash the apple, or at least I believe I washed it before running out of there and back to my room, so I at least ate an apple while hiding away, that apple remaining the only thing I had until dad left in the evening, as I obviously couldn’t even make tea… Though at least that meant I could stay here and not need to go to the bathroom again.
As it turns out, hid away for far too long, until dad left and in fact for some 20 minutes longer, since I didn’t know that the guy left at some point. Had been so tense that my muscles were hurting a fair bit and I rather limped for a while, and by the time dad did leave I was just curled in a ball, in bed, and too afraid to go out right away, seeing as I hadn’t heard anyone else leaving with him and was wondering whether that meant that he had been the only one left here for a while, since at that point I had my headphones off for over an hour, or my mother and possibly also that guy were still here and going to leave later, or who knows what the plan might have been. And if, as it seemed likely, the first option was the correct one, I was certain to find a note from dad on the kitchen table, demanding to know why I didn’t come out of my room at all and lashing out at me for it, which was exactly what I did find when I finally did go there, the note mentioning nothing about that guy but saying he wouldn’t have even made me help him with the work, as if that was my concern. And when I sent him an e-mail to say that I didn’t come out because I didn’t know that guy left, he said he shouted at me, loudly, when that happened, and that I’m “exaggerating” with being like this, conveniently “forgetting”, as always, that I’m actually much worse normally, and without all the effort I’m making to stay at least somewhat functional in this manner I’d immediately snap right back to hiding away even from him, only running to the bathroom when really necessary and sneaking to the kitchen when alone or after he goes to bed, and not going shopping anymore either, except perhaps to Kaufland, where the self-checkout means that, if there are no problems there, I don’t actually need to interact with anyone at all.
Last Monday I woke up to pee at 8:50 AM and by the time I also finished washing what dad had left in the kitchen and rearranging what he had thrown in the fridge a bit it was after 9 AM and some drilling had started. Fortunately, it was some distance away and from my room it wasn’t much louder than the computer’s fans, but it was a different sound, so it took me quite a while to get back to sleep. And then I got up at 11:10 AM, deciding to start getting ready to go out, though at first I lost a good 20 minutes on the toilet, not that it was necessary to prove once again that I just can’t do that so soon after waking up, even if it feels like it should work. But I had time, so I had the usual stuff plus almonds, then went again, and then also had two doughnuts inside which I placed and melted the last of some crappy chocolate that supposedly has rum cream that dad got and ripped open and eventually left on a plate in the fridge for quite a while. Also stuffed some things in my tights again and quickly trimmed just that toenail that still has a bruise under it, since it had again jabbed the finger next to it during the previous week’s run. And then, wearing the full running gear, I went out a little before 2 PM, though it was 2:01 PM when I was leaving the building, after stopping to glance through a Kaufland catalog. It was sunny and the temperature was supposed to pretty much hold around 25°C, so in the sunlight it felt pleasantly warm for a walk but still rather hot for running, but in the shade it actually seemed a bit chilly when I was just walking, on the way to the park.
After the previous day’s mess, I just wanted to clear my head, putting everything into the run, so I started almost at a sprint, just going for it, not pacing myself to still have something left towards the end… But I guess I did have quite a lot left, in fact, the time being 46:37.99, with sector times of 4:09.52, 4:56.40, 5:46 (5:45.68), 4:23.11, 4:54 (4:53.75), 5:49.02, 4:22 (4:21.99), 4:53 (4:52.62), 5:38.37 and 1:47.53, making for lap times of 14:51.60, 15:06 (15:05.88) and 14:53 (14:52.98). So I managed that first lap in less than 15 minutes that I ended up aiming for after seeing such a good first sector, then slowed a bit on the second, but not by much, and then I could still push again on lap three, with a first sector that was faster than lap two’s and sectors two and three that were the fastest of the day, sector three by quite some margin, leading to another lap in less than 15 minutes and a time for the three laps that was safely under 45 minutes, so getting back under 47 minutes was not an issue. It’d have been impossible to get under 46:30 and getting under 46:40 also seemed unlikely, but I just gave it everything, drawing on reserves I didn’t think I still had by then, and somehow managed it.
The park was quite clear, some people still making me weave and go the long way around but not being much of a problem overall. There was some significant headwind in the usual parts of sector three of lap one though, and then I still noticed it in sectors one and three of lap two and a bit of sector one of lap three, but it was less of an issue in those cases. Interestingly, the knee wasn’t a problem anymore, as in I felt something there at first but then it just seemed to go away and nothing bothered me anymore. Admittedly, I was feeling myself getting into runner’s high from sector three of lap one, if not even the end of sector two to some extent, so that would explain not feeling much of anything at the time, but the fact that it didn’t hurt like it used to after the run either can’t also be explained by that. Still, feeling runner’s high so early was why I took it a bit easier on lap two, so I won’t get past that state, but then held nothing back on lap three, and was also helped by a pretty fast runner who showed up ahead of me towards the end of sector two, and just when I passed her, early on sector three, two cyclists passed both of us and they weren’t that much faster than me, so I aimed to not lose contact with them by the end of the lap. My body was starting to want to get rid of any excess weight left by the end of that sector, and by its last straight I felt just drained, but somehow found some more reserves, to keep pushing on the final sector as well, finding myself going up a couple of those steps almost at a walk but then just pushing through it again and somehow getting back to a good speed all the way to the end, despite feeling quite out of it. And I’ll also mention that I pretty much sprinted on the second sector two straight, the long one, each time.
Did once again stop on a bench to write down the times and a few quick notes, then put on my mask and went to that Carrefour again, this time finding some of those cheap eggs again, though selecting those that weren’t cracked took a while and somebody put a hand on my back as I was doing that, just walking away by the time I turned to look. Then I grabbed some more cabbage as well, since they still had a large pile at a heavy discount, obviously struggling to get rid of it before it all went bad, and also got some yogurt, calculated and prepared the exact amount of change to get 1 RON back… And was asked for less. Since it was less, I said that it means I had calculated wrongly, but didn’t try to figure out what had happened on the spot, just giving the correct change to get 2 RON back and only stopping to check after stepping away and arranging everything in the bag, at which point I realized the cashier hadn’t scanned the smallest cabbage. Had two of them, one quite small and the other very much so, with the labels on each, and I don’t know whether she assumed the label on the larger one was for both or just forgot about that very small one, or possibly even intentionally skipped over it for some reason, but I ended up with a tiny cabbage for free. Considered going back to pay for it, but eventually shrugged it off and walked away, getting back at 4:25 PM, after making a quick detour to that pet shop that’s across the road from the park, to get two more bags of cat litter.
Left again a bit before 7:55 PM, taking the recyclables as well, including those things I drop off at Kaufland… And again finding that the bin that used to be nearby was no longer there, so I again went the other way and to that other one I found the previous time this happened, before making my way to Kaufland and dropping off those other things there. Then I got some more things from there, including some oregano that scanned as being on sale and for slightly less than the listed price, which is definitely unusual for Kaufland, “mistakes” with prices there almost always meaning that the real price is higher than the listed one. It didn’t cause any issues at the self-checkout either, though things that are so light tended to do that so far, and nobody said anything when I scanned a label placed on the bag with the carrots and then placed the one with the potatoes on the scale, before scanning the other label on the bag with the carrots and only then placing it there as well, since I had both labels on that one, not wanting to get glue on the other one, to make it easier to reuse. So I left without any issues, had a look through that Carrefour on the way back, not finding anything interesting other than perhaps watermelon, and got back here at 9:45 PM.
About that watermelon, did consider getting another when I saw that, despite being gone from other places, a handful were still available at that Carrefour, at a good enough price and at least some seeming to still be pretty good at a very quick check. But I hadn’t even touched the last one bought from Kaufland, only cutting into it the next day, so I decided against getting another… And ended up regretting it, since this one did well enough in the fridge all this time, so another one would have likely lasted as well, and that was quite clearly my last chance this year. Then again, since I saved this one to still have enough of it left to eat after the planned runs, it’d have been rather pointless to get another one.
With probably the only other things worth mentioning that happened last week being in the previous post, I’ll skip straight to Sunday, when I got up at 8:45 AM and saw dad’s note, saying that he voted when he got back from work, threw away the mask, pen and gloves used there before getting back, and left gloves and pens for me as well, telling me to also throw them away. That struck me as particularly excessive, especially since people had to follow the regulations much more closely when voting, so the risks are far greater even while shopping, not to mention while using public transportation, but since I didn’t want another argument, after eating something and glancing at a few things on-line I did pick a pen that was rather sticky and I didn’t mind throwing away and a pair of gloves from another bag, not the new and better ones he had left for me, and of course also a mask, and was out at 10:30 AM.
Dad’s note also mentioned that he had to wait in quite a line in the morning, and when I saw a line outside this school where we vote I expected the same, but we were all allowed in moments after I took my place in that line and when I got to the station my address is assigned to I just saw one person at the door who was only there to ask which station her address was assigned to and one more inside who had just been entered in the system, so I didn’t have to wait at all and ended up the only voter in the station by the time I entered the booth. The regulations were followed very loosely, however, and while I also ignored the part saying that people should use disinfectant before entering and was relieved to not be asked to remove my mask in order for the person there to check that I matched the photo on my ID card, I raised an eyebrow at the fact that two others were eating, so obviously had their masks down, and instead of being instructed how to put my ID card in the machine and then place the sticker on it after voting and needing to do so myself, these things were done by the members of the committee, according to the regular procedure. Was also handed a pen, but pulled out my own and signed with that, and did use a bit of disinfectant after leaving, though mostly to rub on my ID card a little, since I then threw away the gloves anyway. Still, while all of this may appear to contradict what I said above about people following the regulations much more closely, it doesn’t, considering how many behave otherwise.
Kept going after that, keeping the ink chamber and spring and throwing away that pen in a recycling bin I passed and then first making a small detour to check one Mega Image and then also having a quick look in that one on the way to Penny. Then I went to Penny, for onions, but had to wait for quite a while, an older man getting there just before me and taking his time to carefully select enough to fill three or four bags, with his nose out of the mask. A couple of other people reached around him and grabbed some as well, but I wandered around for a while, then sort of stood around that area until he finally moved away and I could also get some. Didn’t get the 0.05 RON I should have gotten as change, but more unpleasant was that when I meant to grab the bag after being checked out I banged my head against that hanging shelf cigarettes are in, and with my coordination being as it is, when I instinctively reached to rub that spot I knocked the cap off my head and when I tried to grab it in the air I only managed to push it farther away from me on its way to the floor.
Got back to that Mega Image after that, getting some of the nice yogurt that was on a two for the price of one sale those days. Interestingly, that Mega Image had been crowded when I had that first look, but by the time I went back it was nearly empty, with few people inside, only one checkout still open, just one person ahead of me when I got there and only one behind me by the time I was done. That took a bit longer than it should have, however, since the cashier just threw away the receipt, so I asked for it and she started searching through the trash can, needing a while to find it among all the others filling it, which made it clear that it was quite a habit. That person who was behind me told me to ask for it right away next time, and then made a dismissive noise when I said I thought receipts should be handed to the customer each time.
Either way, got back at 12:10 PM, also throwing away the mask before walking into the building, to keep following dad’s “instructions” even though I disagreed. And, speaking of dad, just after 10 PM I told him I was going to take a nap and did so, actually falling asleep quickly… Only to be woken up at 10:25 PM by him banging on the new living room furniture. Went there to ask what that was about, then got back to bed, but after being startled in that manner I couldn’t get back to sleep, so only wasted close to an hour tossing and turning before eventually getting up. And, of course, when I asked why does he want me to tell him when I go to bed if he still makes loud noises anyway, he just said he didn’t think I’ll hear it, and that he was quiet after I told him he woke me up, as if that made any difference at that point. But we had tense exchanges pretty much every time we happened to be in the same room since then as well, some having to do with the elections or politics in general, others with how each of us pisses the other off with how we behave, some even with food, and those tense exchanges would have certainly turned into nasty arguments if I wouldn’t have mostly ignored him, just letting him speak and not reacting or, for the most part, caring.
Otherwise, kept going to bed after 5:15 AM, the only two exceptions during this period being Friday morning, when I was in bed mere seconds before 5:15 AM, and Tuesday morning, when it was “only” 5:10 AM. It was also Tuesday morning, however, when I woke up with that pain that I used to think was caused by those lumps in my neck, but now I’m thinking it’s actually also caused by my back, and the positions that used to make it go away only made it bearable, so it took me a while to manage to get back to sleep, and even after eventually getting up my back kept feeling like it was just waiting for one wrong move to hurt again, possibly in different ways. Needless to say, I’m increasingly worried about that, and all I carried yesterday definitely didn’t help either.
Won’t be including the part about yesterday in this post, however. Meant to, which is the reason why I waited and didn’t post it Tuesday, but while dad was away and I could have spent all of today on-line, I cooked, took care of laundry, finished putting away yesterday’s purchases, and am yet to even finish catching up on the usual stuff I check, since there were some things I didn’t get around to checking last night. At this point, don’t see how I could write all of that this evening anyway, but I won’t even try, so I’ll leave it for the next post, which should also include tomorrow’s run. That will make for four personal posts in a row, nearly depleting that buffer I had managed to build, but I’ll see what I’ll do about that later.