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State Bonds, Games, MilkyWay@home Issues and… Dad

Last Monday, the alarm was set to ring at 1 PM, but when I woke up and saw 12:08 PM, I decided to get up. It was rainy and windy outside at that point, but I went out just before 2 PM and the rain stopped just then, though the wind remained and there were moments when I could barely move against it. Still, I was at the Sector 3 Treasury in 25 minutes, and just in time, because it closes at 4:30 PM but they stop dealing with state bonds at 2:30 PM! So the people working there were in a hurry, and quite snappish, the guard announced that the person who had arrived when I got in line to deposit the money was the last they’ll take, then the cashier even commented to another one that she gets so annoyed when the way I moved my hands caused the paper I had to sign to get blown back to her side, and then she also complained that I had bent the bills and the machine didn’t count them properly on first try. But I managed to hold it together and was done ten minutes after going in.
From there, I went to that confectionery, getting a Penguin cake. On the way and in the area, also checked two Mega Image stores and the new Penny, but didn’t get anything from any of them. And then I decided to also go to Kaufland after all, though I got a bit confused on the way and ended up next to a Carrefour Market, at which point I realized I wasn’t on the right route and turned around… Only to turn around yet again, meaning to also have a look in there, since the almonds I wanted should have been available in those stores too, but then remembered why, when checking the map, I hadn’t made any mental note of any Carrefour Market close to my route, since that one was “temporarily closed”. So I got back on the right route and had a look through Kaufland, just getting a few potatoes and forgetting about toilet paper. Then continued to the Carrefour from the park, going to the toilet before going in, then looking all over for those almonds that were on sale, but failing to find them and not asking. That ended up being a good thing, but I’ll get to that later, as that day it just made me lose a lot of time. Still, I got the cabbage I wanted, and also found that their panettone, which seems to surprisingly lack questionable ingredients, was finally on sale, so I got one of those, and the little cat food for Liza that was left, plus as much as I could afford of the one for Rocky, as it had appeared there again, and at their price, which is clearly the cheapest I know of.
After all that time spent there, I really had to hurry, but was back here just before 5:55 PM, as intended. Ate the Penguin then, but for the first time I didn’t like it. The fondant “belly” seemed to have a sting to it, which is actually the taste I associate with the candies that are called like that and why I don’t like them, but which wasn’t a taste I noticed in that cake so far, even though the ingredients do list it. And the fluffy dough filling was just bland, only the chocolate filling and the cracker “feet” having the taste and consistency I expected, though there also seemed to be less of that chocolate filling than usual.
Later that evening, I heard the fans being particularly loud after running Venetica for just a little while, and when I checked I saw that they were at an unusually high speed, so I went back to the game to check and saw that the CPU speed didn’t drop the way it tends to happen when the integrated GPU is pushed, and the temperatures did end up a fair bit higher than normal. That made me try Lords of Xulima as well, and when I saw the same behavior, the CPU remaining at normal speed and the integrated GPU being powered up on top of that, I wondered whether that BIOS setting not allowing additional power to be sent to the integrated GPU had somehow ended up changing itself. But when I also checked BorderZone, last Wednesday, I saw that the CPU speed did drop to 800 MHz, and I don’t recall what happened when I played Venetica or Lords of Xulima before and don’t seem to have made a note of it about either of them, while for some other games I did, so maybe this is normal and has to do with how the games use the hardware. Either way, since I loaded Lords of Xulima, actually wandered around a little and found that the next battle in the area I was focusing on didn’t need to be one I couldn’t win in a way I was comfortable with, as I remembered, I ended up getting back to that last Tuesday evening, and eventually also accepting to make use of some items in order to be able to win some of those battles I couldn’t have won otherwise, ending up getting back to that game as well and alternating between it and Venetica, taking it slowly with both but nevertheless making a bit of progress.

Since I didn’t run last week, I’ll now skip straight to this Monday’s run. Initially meant to go Tuesday, but when I saw Monday’s forecast listing a high of 10°C two days before, and 9°C the previous evening, I set my mind on going then, to be able to just wear the running t-shirt again, since Tuesday’s forecast was listing 7°C. But when I went to bed in the morning, I saw 7°C for Monday as well, yet as long as the part about the rain ending in the morning held true, I still meant to go. And it did, as it was wet and a bit foggy but no longer raining when my internal clock again worked just right and I woke up at 1:29 PM, the alarm being set to ring at 1:30 PM. However, when I checked the forecast again at that point, I saw the high listed as 5-6°C, and in the end the reported temperature when I went out, at 3:45 PM, was only 4°C, or even 3°C according to some sources, and supposed to hold steady for the next couple of hours. But I had already had the usual stuff plus almonds, out of the old ones I still had, and doughnuts with added honey as the sweet thing, and was wearing the running shoes, tights and t-shirt, with the old running shirt over it, so I went out as planned, despite leaving basically nothing in the toilet and telling dad just before going out that it was the sort of temperature that’d have called for wearing more under that shirt. Also grabbed some cans to drop in a bin on the way, and obviously also wore the jacket and the gloves, plus that thing around my neck and pulled up so I won’t also wear a mask on the way, but the jacket wasn’t quite enough and I was shivering on the way to the park, becoming increasingly worried and considering coming back to put some more clothes on or even leave the run for another day. Still, when I took it off and tied it around my waist after getting there, it wasn’t as bad as I feared.
The time was a frustrating 49:00.71, with sector times of 4:19.40, 5:13.14, 6:04 (6:03.96), 4:33 (4:32.93), 5:09 (5:08.92), 6:03 (6:02.96), 4:37.64, 5:14 (5:13.20), 5:58.38 and 1:50.18, making for lap times of 15:36.50, 15:45 (15:44.81) and 15:49.22. I meant for a more controlled first sector, trying to sprint on that long straight but not being too bothered when I couldn’t sustain it, and under those circumstances that time was quite good, but then the sector two time was bad, and so was the sector three one, which made me realize that I couldn’t even realistically aim to stay under 49 minutes, thinking of 49:30. However, lap two was all right, so I was thinking to just stay under 16 minutes on lap three as well and then likely stay under 49:15. Yet lap three’s sector three was surprisingly good under those circumstances, and after at first thinking it nevertheless wasn’t good enough, after seeing that I could maintain a decent pace up those stairs, I really tried to aim to stay under 49 minutes, giving it everything on the final straight, being bothered when a man was walking across the path and I had to change direction because of him, but in the end being held back by my nose drying and my nostrils starting to stick together, and since I wasn’t going to breathe through my mouth, I was losing speed towards the end and ended up so frustratingly close, but nevertheless failing… Not that aiming for 49 minutes isn’t in itself a failure.
In terms of problems, at first I was wondering whether it was even possible to run around the lake, since I could see ambulances on the bridge. Counted four when I first reached the bridge, but more might have been behind those, and a group of people had gathered, but they were on the other side, and on the bridge and stairs, not on the path, and by the time I went around and actually got there, the area seemed clear. Other than that, I already mentioned that it was wet, so there were a few puddles to go around and I might have been a bit more careful on the paved areas, and there were also quite a lot of people. No roadblocks, however, and I wouldn’t say that I even had to slow significantly because of them at any point, but there was plenty of weaving and going the long way around, plus some spots where I had to calculate my way through. There were plenty of runners too, including a couple of groups that seemed to be training, though apparently for football, but they were either running in the opposite direction or being much slower, so none I could get any benefit from. Physically I felt entirely fine though, which was something of a surprise, even more so when at least until sector two of lap two I kept thinking I was facing a choice between a completely embarrassing time and cutting the run short.

After taking a few moments to catch my breath, I put on my jacket and mask, pulled that thing up again as well, and first went to that Carrefour. Meant to jog there, but couldn’t do so for long, the way that thing was tied and how tight I had made it on my face making it really hard to breathe. Did position it better when I waited to cross the road, but didn’t really try to continue running the rest of the way then. And from Carrefour I just got some garlic, spending quite some time trying to get a quantity that’d cost a relatively round amount and being asked to step aside by some people who were shopping for others while doing so. And I wanted to reuse the bag and the glue on Carrefour’s labels is really good, so I just put it on a finger and held it out to the cashier to scan, telling her that I was holding it because I wanted to reuse the bag… And after she scanned it she took it and put it right on the bag. I repeated that I had wanted to reuse that bag at that point, and she had already realized what she had done and made a little comment, but it was too late, and my attempts to pry it off ended when the bag tore, so I left it like that.
From there, I continued to Kaufland, jogging much of the way there. While I had positioned that thing somewhat better, it was still quite hard to breathe with it covering my nose and I didn’t keep pushing when I was running out of breath, so I was switching between jogging and walking every so often. Then I got the beets I had gone there for, but also saw cheap enough apples sold by the “producer” selling there, since they started this program through which, in some locations, they give a spot to a producer to sell their fruits and vegetables inside the store. In that location I just saw one person selling apples, but at somewhat higher prices, so far, but now another person was there, also with apples, and the prices were a fair bit better, and they also had the kinds I prefer at those cheap prices, so I decided to get some, and then some more yogurt as well. When I calculated after that, I realized I’ll end up 0.26 RON short of what I’d need if I was to also go to that pharmacy and get some hand and heel creams I was thinking of getting… And found 0.18 RON in the self-checkout machines. Oddly, none of them were in use, and I grabbed the coins in the first one but used the second, which had some more coins, which was how I got to that amount. Those apples didn’t scan, but the employee was right next to me, having nobody else to help, and as soon as the message appeared she logged on and sorted it out, saying that those indeed won’t scan normally.
Well, if when I left the self-checkout area I was still 0.08 RON short, when I stopped to arrange my purchases in the one larger bag I had taken with me, I spotted a 0.10 RON coin and grabbed that as well. I still thought I’ll find a line at that pharmacy, but the fact that I had found the needed amount made me pass by it anyway… And I found no line whatsoever, being able to walk right in, which is a first since this whole situation started, and even more surprising considering the hour. Was a bit worried that I couldn’t spare a coin for the cabinet, but I just tied the bag and walked in with it and nobody said anything, likely because you could see through it and notice that I had yogurt, apples and beets, so nothing they’d sell. Hadn’t also dropped the garlic in it, leaving it in the jacket’s inside pocket, where I had put it while in Kaufland, to empty that bag in order to get both of those kinds of apples, but nobody asked about that bulge either. And I could find those two creams relatively quickly. The problem was that I had ended up considering them because I couldn’t see that they had ingredients I had ruled others out for, because they didn’t have all ingredients listed on the pharmacy’s site, and when I checked the packaging I saw that they contained those as well… But they’re made by Romanian companies, at least one is definitely cheap for the quantity, and I took the fact that things seemed to have sorted themselves out so nicely as a hint that I should get them then. And I didn’t have to wait in line at the checkout either, only one person being ahead of me.

Since I was carrying the purchases from Kaufland in a single, rather flimsy bag and had the garlic and creams in the jacket’s pocket, I didn’t try to jog again on the way back, and was here just before 7 PM, though that was after struggling for a few minutes to get my keys out of that special pocket the tights have, I guess no longer being used to deal with it after only using the old running pants for a while. Either way, 7 PM was when my computer was going to stop recording a show and end up completely idle, after MilkyWay@home had stopped sending work, so I wanted to be here by then and try to see whether the issue had been fixed, knowing that the work I still had available won’t last that long, the logs indeed stating that the last work units had been finished at 5:50 PM and 6:16 PM, respectively. It still took me about half an hour to actually get on the computer, taking care of other things first, and since the problem hadn’t been fixed by then, I spent a little more time rushing to reattach to World Community Grid and select just Africa Rainfall Project, being their only current project that at least can be said to have some sort of environmental component, and in fact the only one that’s not medical, those two work units starting at 7:38 PM and 7:40 PM, respectively, so my computer was underutilized for an hour and 50 minutes, and idle for over half an hour. Each of those tasks was using over 670 Mb of RAM, however, and while that amount could drop even to less than half when I was using the computer, I guess it meant using the swap file, and I definitely noticed the performance impact, so it’s not something I can continue running, but hoped it’d get me over this period.
Well, the problem was that I assumed the MilkyWay@home issue will be sorted out by the time I’ll wake up the next day, as the announcement indicated, but that was clearly not the case, and it was eventually announced that the maintenance will continue. Then again, those Africa Rainfall Project work units also finished much sooner than estimated, the first at a time when I couldn’t get on-line right away, and once I did it took a little while before I could get more work for that project, so my computer again ended up underutilized for exactly one hour. And then, since the second one was also about to finish and I couldn’t seem to get another one to take its place, I gave in and also briefly allowed work from OpenPandemics – COVID-19, so one core was only idle again for less than seven minutes… And less than 15 minutes after that, I was able to get one more Africa Rainfall Project work unit after all, so I guess I didn’t really need to also get those other ones, and definitely not four of them, each seeming to run for some two hours. But I couldn’t know that then and wanted to have something to keep the computer busy until I was likely to get back on-line, at night… At which point I allowed it to get two more Africa Rainfall Project work units, to last through the next day as well, so I was fine until MilkyWay@home seemed to be generating work again.

Since I got to Tuesday, that evening I used dad’s phone to send that guy I gave those 70 RON to a message, just asking what’s up, since the end of January, when he said he’ll call me to pay me back, passed, just to prod him a little, but also saying he can just thank me for the alms and leave it at that. The thing is that, despite repeatedly saying I wanted to send a message, dad handed me the phone and told me I needed to first enter the number, yet when I did so I noticed that it was calling. Had seemed strange to me, needing to do that without having a way to write the message first, and him saying that he can’t do that on his phone, but took his word for it until that happened… Still, that didn’t actually result in needing to deal with a call, but in noticing that either the guy’s phone was turned off or, despite asking me to call him at the time, so he won’t have to write my number to save it, he gave me a wrong number. Still, after struggling to figure out how to send a message and somehow having the phone end up doing other things, I went back to dad, explained once again that I just wanted to send a message, and after acting surprised, since of course he never listens, he sorted it out and I could finally send it. Whether it even gets anywhere remains to be seen.

Wednesday some people were coming over, so I planned to leave, setting the alarm to ring at 11:30 AM. It wasn’t easy to get up then, however, since I had a hard time getting back to sleep after waking up to pee, I believe at 9:10 AM, and actually think dad was up by the time I eventually managed it, and he had said he’ll get up at 10:30 AM. My internal clock still tried to work though, the dream I was having ending in a way which should have prompted me to wake up, but I knew I was too sleepy and was trying to fight it when the alarm settled things. Then I grabbed something to eat, quickly checked something on-line, noticing that those nice yogurts were on that two for the price of one sale again at Auchan, took the recyclables and left a bit after 1:05 PM.
After dropping off everything except a small bag of those things I drop off at Kaufland in a nearby bin, I went to Obor, going to Carrefour first, grabbing a bread and a cozonac, and then deciding to also get a huge pastry, the person who was there actually placing it on the scales to bag and label it, which allowed me to see that it was almost twice the listed weight! But I found myself unwilling to check out with those products, costing 20.88 RON, when I just had a 50 RON bill, so I ended up hiding those three things on a bottom shelf, behind some larger bread, and rushing to Kaufland first, dropping off those things and getting one bread from there as well, plus two pretzels. The pretzels that were on sale were a kind that I had decided against getting before, but I no longer saw anything that bothered me among the ingredients then, the problem being that just one seemed to be left… Yet just as I was about to get it, an employee came with a full tray and actually told me to wait for warm ones as she dropped them there. I still just took one at first, then placed my bags on some cakes, trying to figure out how to hold them, and an older woman told me to put them elsewhere, so the cakes won’t get warm or dirty, though they were in hard plastic cases, but after that I decided to grab a second and then used the self-checkout without issues and rushed back to Carrefour, scratching my hand in the cabinet door as I placed the purchases in one before going in… And not only finding my stuff where I had left it, and no more of those pastries left, so I couldn’t have gotten one if I wouldn’t have asked for it the first time around, but also finding eggs at the old cheap price, some having just been placed among the expiring products, though they weren’t, and an employee actually just changing the price to that cheap one on the shelf right after I selected the 20 I wanted.
After a toilet break, and thoroughly washing that scratch and then also using disinfectant from a dispenser, I quickly passed through that Auchan as well, getting tea but forgetting all about the yogurt and not turning around when I remembered, just meaning to get one more of those pastries I got on my way back from one of those long walks in November, from that confectionery that’s open until 9 PM. They didn’t seem to have any left, however, but I spotted something else I was interested in, for the same price, on my way to that tiny bakery I had also meant to check out on the way back from one of those long walks. So I first had a quick look in that bakery, then went back, seeing that the line in front of that pastry place had also cleared. One person was left, however, and she started arguing with the employee, and while I didn’t pay attention right away, I started to when I noticed her aggressive tone, the problem apparently being that she had asked for two of each of two kinds of pastries, and to have them placed in two bags, one of each in each bag, and the employee was probably confused by the request at first. And then the situation escalated very quickly, the customer lashing out and even starting to insult the employee, the employee losing her cool and snapping back, another employee coming to have a look and sort of standing in the area, seeming unsure what to do… And in the end the employee didn’t place the pastries in the bags as requested anyway, saying that sweet and salty ones won’t go in the same bag, which made the customer even angrier, at that point for good reason, and the argument continued until the employee asked what I wanted and told the other customer that she’d been making me wait. She didn’t give me a receipt though, and under the circumstances I didn’t ask for it, just continuing on my way and entering the building just after 5:25 PM. Went to bed at 5:20 AM again.

And now I’ll get to the day I skipped at first, which is Friday. With coffee being 30% off at Kaufland that day, I meant to get up when I’ll first wake up to pee without feeling too exhausted, but put a tomato in the salad I ate at night, so I first went to pee at 7:20 AM, which was too early. So I got up the second time, seeing 8:54 AM when I did, and left at 10:05 AM, taking the plastic and metal and a pile of cables and small electronics dad wanted to throw away, plus those things I take to Kaufland, and being pleasantly surprised when I saw that it was snowing. Far less pleasant was feeling my heart beating irregularly again on the way, though at least it seemed to mostly sort itself out after I got there, as there were just a few more such heartbeats on the way back, quite clearly triggered by moving in certain ways.
Either way, dropped off the plastic and metal in the bin that’s at the entrance of the mall that Carrefour’s in, then went in and got almonds, which is why I said earlier that not finding those other ones turned out to be a good thing, since the 500 gram pack was on sale instead of the 200 gram one, the price per unit of weight being even better; shockingly so, for that matter. Also got some potatoes, then went to Kaufland, dropped off the rest of the stuff and got what I meant to get, though I looked all over for one more thing my mother wanted before finally spotting some. The bag of onions wouldn’t scan when I wanted to check the price, and another person who was checking the price for something else tried to help me but she couldn’t get it to scan either, and it still didn’t scan right away at the self-checkout, but I used the gun and after a few attempts it finally worked. The machine started beeping then, but it kept working, yet I also had dad’s Kaufland Card, which he had recently made, to use the discount he had on it, and wasn’t sure how, so I selected to pay by voucher, then couldn’t leave that menu to select cash instead, needing to call the employee to sort it out. Then I walked back, stopping a couple of times to arrange things in the bags and backpack, and a couple more times because the bag with the toilet paper kept slipping from my hand, being hard to hold, and I guess that also made the stuff feel much heavier.
Was back just after 1 PM, but wanted pretzels, having found none at Kaufland, so I just dropped everything off and went back out to this nearby Mega Image, finding two with poppy seeds and getting them, at least as soon as I could, since it’s such a small place and that area was crowded and I had to wait for a chance to even just squeeze through, also keeping the distance being out of the question. And then, when checking out, the old man ahead of me didn’t have enough money, so it took a while until the cashier worked out what to leave aside until he could afford what was left, but I should note that she really was helpful and understanding and really tried to work out how to let him have the most useful things. And then I finally got back for good and dad left.

Well, that was the nice, easy part of that day. The rest of it started after 8 PM, when he got back. He said he’ll take a bath, but I was exhausted, and had disconnected right away anyway, so I didn’t use the opportunity to spend more time on-line, instead telling him I’ll take a nap and getting in bed… Only to be woken up by someone insistently knocking and ringing the doorbell, I think roughly around 9:45 PM. Since the person wasn’t going away and I could hear the water, so dad wasn’t going to answer, I eventually crawled out of bed, thinking to sneak to the door and try to have a look… And stepped in a puddle as soon as I left my room. Had actually thought of flooding right away, but placed a hand on the floor after waking up and it was dry in my room, making that puddle even more of a shock, since the source was clearly the bathroom, meaning that dad would have reacted to it unless he was unable to and making me to barge in there, spurred by the mental image of finding him dead in the bathtub.
Fortunately, I was greeted by the sight of him getting up from the overflowing bathtub, seeming rather dazed but obviously alive and saying he didn’t know why it happened when I said he flooded the place. So at first I left the bathroom, stepped back to leave the wet part of the hallway and just stood there, rather stunned, until the knocking and ringing, which had stopped for a couple of minutes, resumed. At that point I rushed back to the bathroom, finding him still naked and rather inefficiently trying to mop up the water and moving in to help, stepping on something so I won’t keep standing in the puddle, though my slippers and socks were already wet anyway, and grabbing a little rug, using it to soak water from the floor and wringing it in the bathtub. That allowed him to throw on a bathrobe and go to the door, saying something so the downstairs neighbor, since that was obviously who it was, went away to get to work on limiting the damage to his apartment.
By the time he returned, I was wondering whether the stuff floating in the bathtub was vomit or shit, so I asked him and he said it was likely vomit. Then I asked whether he had fallen asleep and he said he had. Also asked whether he was all right, and he said he was, but that’s quite clearly proven to be a lie as soon as he also went back to gathering the water, using a dustpan and leaning heavily on the bathtub and struggling to take a couple of laborious breaths each time he dumped its contents in it. So I asked whether he had really fallen asleep or passed out, he repeated that he had fallen asleep, I kept asking whether he was all right, he kept saying he was even though he obviously wasn’t, I asked whether I should call an ambulance, he firmly refused, and I eventually told him that if he really was all right he should go to the bedroom and deal with the carpeting, move the bed and do whatever else needed to be done there.
Since he did go, I was growing increasingly worried with every passing moment, being unable to keep him under observation anymore, but I continued to gather the water until it wasn’t a puddle anymore, then went to check on him… And found him in bed, facedown, the bed, carpeting and everything else untouched. At that point I just reacted, since he obviously wasn’t telling the truth and the mental image of finding him dead in bed wasn’t much better than that of finding him dead in the bathtub, saying I was going to call, we’re not discussing it anymore. He lifted himself a bit, shouted after me to keep refusing, telling me to stop it, but I grabbed the phone and called, trying to describe what happened despite the panic and the fact that talking to people messes me up, and doing so on the phone makes it even worse. He kept telling me to stop, at one point said he drank too much, but he wasn’t getting up and, if that was the case, it was too late to come clean in that manner, and I never saw dad drunk, so I obviously hadn’t thought of that possibility, though if there ever was a time when it’d have been a plausible explanation, it was likely that day, considering whom he had visited and how long it had been. Either way, the operator asked whether he could stand and push up on his arms, I asked him and he said he could, but when I asked him to prove it he refused, so I said in that case I’ll assume he can’t, had her hold for a few seconds to try to get him to cooperate, then walked away to continue talking, asking her what to do if he refuses help. And since she said she’d recommend having someone over to at least have a look at him, I agreed and was connected to the ambulance operator, quickly explaining the situation to her as well and saying I hope I won’t be fined for calling for no reason if he refuses, to which she said I don’t have to worry about that.
I went back to work after that, also having the quite gross matter of the bathtub’s drain being clogged with vomit and hair to deal with, but had to stop mere minutes later, when the paramedics rang the doorbell. Despite having quite a few hospitals nearby, I had expected them to need quite some time to get here, especially under the current circumstances, but they pleasantly surprised me. That still left me uncertain what to do, however, though that only applied for the first couple of seconds, since I knew I had to grab a mask, starting to rush to my room for it but ending up running to the kitchen first, since as soon as they stepped inside they asked how could we breathe that air, taking a look and telling me to turn off the stove and open the windows. Not that it was necessary for someone to confirm that dad needs to stop always leaving the stove on, using it for heating, or that there’s any point in it happening, since he won’t change his behavior, but at least it made me feel at ease leaving it off and the kitchen window open after they left as well, thinking I’ll tell him the paramedics requested it if he’ll complain.
Either way, they asked where the patient was and came after me, making for a moment of confusion when I first went to my room, to grab a mask, and he obviously wasn’t there. But I sent them to the other bedroom and then followed them there after putting on the mask… Only to find dad again refusing anything. He had fallen asleep again by the time they arrived and I wonder whether he had even woken up by the time they entered the room, and exactly how much of him was showing from underneath the bathrobe at that point, but when I got there the one who seemed to be in charge was apologizing for having bothered him, saying I called them or they obviously wouldn’t have come, and asking him to write that he refuses any aid and sign while he tried to sound rather amused by the situation, saying I must have just gotten scared and he can’t understand why I’d do something like that. They also asked for his ID card and he actually got up then, going with the other paramedic to grab it, leaving me to face the one who had been doing all the talking and trying to explain why I had called them and pretty much just getting a tight-lipped frown in return.
After that, they left, apologizing for having bothered him again and telling me, just as they were going out the door, to also write down that my father refuses their aid. So I rushed to do so, though I doubt anyone could have understood my handwriting under those circumstances and they frowned when they had a look, but when I said I could try to write more nicely I was told that, if that’s my handwriting, it is how it is, and they walked away. I still tried to ask one more time whether they couldn’t at least check his blood pressure or something, but was told that they won’t do anything against the patient’s will, and gave me more tight-lipped frowns as I again apologized for calling them.
When I got back to the bedroom, dad seemed asleep again, didn’t move as I checked his pulse, though it was over 100, and soon started snoring. So I grabbed a blanket from the living room to cover him, since he was lying on the ones he had there, continued to unclog the bathtub’s drain until the water finally drained away and got to work on limiting the damage in the bedroom, pulling up what I could of the carpeting from that area, moving the nightstand out, emptying the bed’s large drawer from that side and then somehow managing to pull that out as well, pulling up a little more of the carpeting, finding the hair dryer and having the poor thing run for the next several hours, aimed at various spots, not that it did much to help, getting a stool to pull that corner of the carpeting up on it, eventually getting a rag and the bucket and starting to try to gather some of the water soaked into the carpeting that way, and then, as I was getting exhausted, also putting the new electric heater to use, though it automatically shuts down when tipped over, so I could just leave it on until it got as hot as it was going to get, then tip it over and place it under the carpeting until it cooled. Since dad stopped snoring at one point, after that moment I’d also keep checking to make sure he was still breathing.
After some three hours of this, close to 2 AM, he woke up, I asked him how he felt, he said his lower back hurt, which he had said before going to take a bath as well, I asked how are things other than that, and he said that other than that he’s just fine, what could be wrong? Then he got up, went to the living room and got on the phone, passing by a couple more times over the next hour to see what I was doing, at one point saying mother said the next day was a major holiday and we shouldn’t work. I looked oddly at him and gestured vaguely around, telling him I don’t give a fuck, we have a lot of work to do, and when he came by the next time he said we’ll move the bed, because we’d make too much noise if we’d do it that night, but at least shouldn’t wash things. I asked what else should I be doing then, saying I’ll just crash if I don’t keep busy, and he just left again.
Though I had replaced the rag with the mop, which made it easier, by 3 AM I was completely exhausted, took the wheels off that heater and got it under the bed, but just couldn’t keep working otherwise, and as soon as I stopped I rather went catatonic, just sitting there and staring at nothing, rocking back and forth… He passed by a couple more times, went to the toilet, said something he ate must have disagreed with him as well, which was why he had thrown up, at one point just came to the bedroom claiming to look for that stool I had lifted that corner of the carpeting on, and eventually started moving what he could move around me, ignoring me, opening the window and leaving it open as he returned to the living room and I continued to just sit there with wet feet in wet slippers. Around 4 AM he returned and asked me to help him move the bed after all, and I sort of just did what I was told, freezing and staring blankly the rest of the time, so it’s all rather foggy. But I know that after getting things in a state he was content with for the moment, he tried to get the wheels back on that heater and couldn’t figure out how, or at least claimed to not know how, so I crouched next to it and did it, then was left in that position, again staring blankly as he left again for a little bit.
When he returned, he said he was going to bed, again, and told me to withdraw to my room as well… Which I did, after managing to sort of wash my feet a little bit in the bathroom sink, leave my slippers to dry next to the living room heater and get new socks. Eating was obviously out of the question at that point, and I also didn’t think I was going to sleep, but after staying on-line until then, just before 6:30 AM I did get in bed, and I think I managed three pretty brief and agitated naps, full of weird dreams, until I dragged myself back out of it, at 2:20 PM.

When he saw me up, he said he was going to call mother and tell her he fell asleep and flooded, meaning he had talked to her at night as if nothing happened and hadn’t told her then, but won’t mention I called an ambulance, repeatedly saying it’s beyond his comprehension why I did that. Asked if I agreed to that and I didn’t say anything, so he just repeated that it was beyond his comprehension and went to talk. Well, I refuse to feel guilty or embarrassed for acting in the manner I determined the situation called for, when he was obviously not all right and not telling the truth, and frankly, considering how hard communicating with others is for me, I expected a reaction that was quite the opposite of that. And if he can’t understand why I did it, maybe he should think a little for a change…
Either way, since I got to Saturday, I also restarted Witch’s Wake that day and quickly went through that part I hadn’t experienced initially, to see what I missed before finishing the review for Kingmaker, which I posted the following day. Back to Saturday evening, he moved things again in the bedroom, to leave the flooded part to dry, and asked me to help him with the bed, and at one point I did something to my back while helping with that, which made it feel even worse for a while, though by the next day it seemed to have returned to “just” causing me the “normal” amount of trouble.

Before finishing what’s the longest post I ever wrote, I’ll also add that I was taking a nap now, definitely not meaning to get on-line and post this before eating tonight, and had told dad that I was going to take a nap, but found myself roughly woken up when he loudly knocked on my door to let me know he had disconnected… And was going to shave and take a shower before going to bed. Wonder if it was his way of ensuring I’ll be awake when he goes in there again, or at least that I won’t wake up and just hear the water, since it’s the first time he washes since this happened… Though now that he came out and I asked, he said he had no idea I was sleeping and that I never told him, and then, when I said I did tell him, that I didn’t say it loudly or clearly enough, which is what he always says when he just doesn’t listen, which is almost always the case.


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