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Now I Know What Having Your Bowels Turn to Water Means…

I’m not talking about the figurative sense, about being that terrified, as that has certainly happened plenty of times before, but about basically shitting water. (Yes, this post will be quite graphic.) I haven’t had significant stomach problems in several years and actually don’t think I ever had any that were this bad. The fact that I think it was some sort of virus and not something caused by food makes it even more peculiar.
I’m thinking it was a virus because the symptoms were pretty much identical but dad started on Friday, me on Monday and the creature on Tuesday. We also couldn’t come up with any one thing that all three of us ate shortly before the onset, so it doesn’t seem like it could be explained like that. Dad was blaming it on some bacon he had at work and I was initially blaming it on some grapes that I saw Saturday in the kitchen and only decided to eat on Monday because something about them seemed suspicious to me. After initially being told that the creature ate some of those grapes too and she had no problems but then hearing that she started having the same problems the following day, I thought I had it quite well figured out, but then it started seeming quite unlikely for two different food items to produce identical symptoms to different people around the same time. So, after also considering the possibility of some sort of bacteria making a home for itself in the fridge, on the kitchen table or on the dishwashing sponge, I came to the conclusion that the most likely explanation is that dad contacted some sort of virus from work or somewhere else and then passed it on to the rest of us, probably affecting the creature later than me, despite the fact that I didn’t exactly have any contact with him and she did, due to the other pills she’s taking or perhaps simply due to a slower metabolism on her part.

My stomach didn’t give me any reason for concern when I woke up on Monday. A little later, after going to the bathroom, I passed through the kitchen, washed those grapes a little, took them to my room and ate them. That made me have to rush to the bathroom right away, but nothing peculiar happened there so it didn’t draw my attention. However, shortly afterwards I started feeling a little sick. Initially assumed I was just tired, since I had slept only about five hours, so I went back to bed. But that didn’t help at all.
As soon as I woke up again, I had to struggle not to throw up. Thought it’d pass, but it just seemed to be getting worse and I felt like I had to go to the bathroom again too. So I did that and it didn’t look good anymore, but I still thought my body’d find a way to solve it in no more than a few hours.
Obviously, it didn’t, as I was feeling worse and worse. I had that general feeling that you usually get when you have a fever, as if your flesh means to come off you, hurting all over and getting quite dizzy. And felt like throwing up more and more, so after having to go to the bathroom a third time and more or less shitting water, I forced myself to throw up. The result was a pile of completely undigested grapes, so I was certain that I knew what caused it, since they were like that after being in my stomach for over ten hours at the time. Still, I only threw up a little at that time, then went back to my room and just tried to rest, hoping it was enough.
It obviously wasn’t… So, about 30 minutes later, I went back to try again and didn’t stop until I thought I had pretty much everything out. There sure seemed to be many more of them coming out than they were when they went in, but I couldn’t see anything other than the grapes in there. Anyway, dad eventually heard me, came to ask what’s going on and then started asking whether I wanted him to make me a tea and suggesting pills I could take, starting with what he was taking at the time. I refused everything, said I’ll handle it and went back to my room for a few minutes.
Came out at 2 AM, he offered me some of the tea he made for himself, I refused and said again that I’ll handle it myself, then went back to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and meant to let everything out, occasionally pressing on my stomach and guts in an attempt to push everything down and out faster. That was a lot of water, but little else, so I eventually got up and went back to the kitchen. By that time my body was more or less in shock and I felt so cold I was almost paralyzed, which I took to mean that I did indeed manage to let everything out and my body no longer had any reserves left to generate the energy required to maintain its temperature. That meant I required some food, so I made myself a little toast and that just allowed me to make some tea as well, shivering vigorously. Then went back to my room and tried to wait it out, trying once again to let everything out just before I eventually went to bed at my regular hour, which resulted once again in quite a lot of water and not much else.

That night wasn’t nice at all due to the high fever. Considering how tired I felt, I assumed I’d fall asleep immediately, but instead I didn’t sleep at all. I think I blacked out a few times, but I don’t think you can consider that to be sleep.
At first I just got myself completely under the blanket, closed my eyes and enjoyed the colorful images I was seeing. Then I had to get my head back out because that air was making me feel like throwing up again. The nausea passed, but now I was freezing, so I tried to get my blood flowing again. Rubbing my arms and legs didn’t seem to help, so I thought jerking off would. Didn’t go all the way of course, haven’t in a very long time, and getting a decent erection was quite impossible, but it did make me feel much warmer. Trying to sleep was still hopeless, however.
Eventually I guess I started to hallucinate even worse, because I was convinced that I was covered by an immense blanket and that various parts of it were representing different parts of the problem that I had to solve before I could feel better, so I started to work on them. Some time later I realized that wasn’t real, but I thought it was a decent way to get my body to work on solving the problem, so I sort of wrapped myself in that idea, meaning to obtain a sense of being able to get to all parts of the problem and solve it.
I did end up feeling a little better after a while and eventually got up, realizing it’d be pointless to keep trying to sleep.

Tuesday meant more or less drinking the tea I had made for myself the previous night and trying to wait it out, while also realizing that I had no digestion at all since the tea I was drinking was basically coming out the other end unaltered. It can’t hurt to clean up a little on the inside, though. I didn’t need to go to the bathroom if I didn’t want to, however, which I took as a good sign. The annoying part was that, despite having a lot of gas, I couldn’t allow myself to fart because the fart wouldn’t have come out alone, something I learned for sure when I decided to try while taking a shower and then had to clean the bathtub…
I guess the fever was still there when I woke up since I was feeling quite high and laughing to myself for no reason. That was much better than how it made me feel the previous evening and night, at least. But, after another unsuccessful attempt at sleeping, in the afternoon, the fever did seem to go away once I actually did manage to sleep a little, in the evening. Other symptoms followed suit at about the same time, leaving me just with the lack of digestion, which resulted in gas and shitting water (or tea, actually), and the general weakness and tiredness caused by the lack of food and sleep.
Dad kept trying to make me take pills and I kept telling him I won’t do that unless it’s an emergency, and this doesn’t appear to be one so I still have confidence in my body’s ability to sort it out. He bought some for the creature as well, which were different from what he was taking because a different doctor prescribed them, though they had the same purpose, so now he had even more things to suggest. He was quite annoying, both with this and with the fact that he kept asking how I was feeling when I kept telling him that I can handle it well enough on my own. Interesting how, if something does actually scare me or I just need to see a doctor or do some other such thing, he just tells me to tell him if I want to see a doctor and he’ll make the appointment, and when the time comes he just knocks on my door and expects me to come out by myself after I’ve been pacing around the room for at least the past hour, trying not to shit myself out of fear, but now if I kept telling him I could handle it well enough on my own he was pestering me all the time!
Anyway, there was a moment that struck me as a little funny, when the creature called me over to talk as I was coming out of the bathroom and, among other things, mentioned that she couldn’t hold anything down despite trying to eat just the kind of things you should eat when your stomach is upset. Excuse me, but since there’s no digestion at all, what did you expect would happen after eating solid food, no matter what it was? What’s your stomach supposed to do with it? Can it for later?
Later, at my usual time, I went to make some more tea and try eating what was left of that vegetable “soup” (with all vegetables taken out) that was made for my dad when he started having these problems. It was obvious that trying anything solid would have been a bad idea, despite apparently getting lucky with those few pieces of toast I had eaten the night before, so I had to make do with that. Also changed my strategy regarding the tea, putting no less than eight different things in it and trying to focus on stimulating digestion, since I was pretty certain that everything that needed to be taken out of my body was already out.
That seemed to work surprisingly well, since I actually had to piss before going to bed that night, for the first time in a day and a half. I had pissed a little during that time too, but I never actually had to and it was obvious that my body was using reserves and none of the tea I was drinking was being absorbed.

Then, as of Wednesday, things were going really well. Went to shit again after waking up, but I haven’t since then. That could potentially be a problem, but right now I don’t think there’s much that should be coming out, seeing as I certainly seem to have a functional digestive system again and I bet it’s trying to make the most out of everything I happen to eat, discarding as little as possible. That means the tea is working well, so I kept making and drinking the same one. Went back to a little solid food Wednesday night as well, and then again last night, so I plan to start getting back to normal now. If all goes well, I should really be back to normal on Monday.
Even went out yesterday and wandered around for some two and a half hours. I’m feeling it today since I’m completely drained, but I’ll recover. Even thinking of going out again tomorrow since I think it could be interesting to have a look at something that’s taking place nearby.

The good part about this, other than the fact that it cleaned me up a little on the inside, is that it seems to have made dad think about eating healthier, “at least for a little while”. Sad that it took something like this, but let’s see what will happen, since he’s the one doing the shopping…
The very bad part is that it made him throw away pretty much everything that was in the fridge when he woke up on Tuesday and realized we were all having stomach problems when he knew quite well that there wasn’t any single thing that all of us had eaten just at that time. That’s completely unacceptable, seeing as that food comes from somewhere and throwing it away means wasting resources that are already depleting, not to mention that other people or stray animals could have used it well enough, especially since I’m quite certain that the food itself had nothing to do with this! Wondering what he’ll do next…
“That does seem to be the rule, doesn’t it? Analyze the problem, choose whichever strategy makes least sense and then do it.”


  1. josh says:

    so i dont know when these was for you but i am now having the exact same issues. i’m not throwing up but im crapping water. if you found a solution please share.

    February 15, 2016 @ 1:57 AM

  2. Cavalary says:

    See post date, Sep 2009, quite a while ago. And no solution really other than waiting it out. Felt that my body could handle it and it did, not putting anything solid in me for a few days, drinking teas that may help with this and waiting.

    Not the best approach if you don’t feel your body can handle it, or if the bug is particularly aggressive.

    February 15, 2016 @ 2:51 AM

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