Cav's Place

In a way, it can be said that this week’s run was the first in the series meant to prepare me for the half marathon, but that’s just because I’d normally avoid another longer run before the first that has to be of 16 km. Then again, even that first 16 km run in the series was only notable back when I’d just stick to ten kilometers for quite a few months in a row, which is no longer the case now, so the first truly notable run in this series should be on the week starting on March 7, when I’ll cover a half marathon distance, to see where I stand. But that 16 km run, planned for tomorrow, is the first one I actually schedule in this manner, so this post will be about the last three runs, which would therefore be the last three before starting to train… Or, more likely, to disappoint and dishearten myself when I’ll see how badly I’m doing.

This week’s run, which was on Wednesday, was surprisingly fast, however, so I’ll start with it, though I’ll first mention that I sadly couldn’t stick to this newer eating schedule the night before. Dad had cooked, but I had cleaned most of what he had left in the evening, so while there was a little more to do when I got to the kitchen at night, the main problem was boiling too many carrots for the salad, which meant more time to select, peel, boil and then chop. So, after having had lunch in the first part of the evening, I ended up starting to eat dinner at 3:20 AM… And more carrots meant more to eat, and needing to do so faster, trying to at least finish at 4 AM, which I just barely managed.
Then I also kept waking up. First to pee, just after 7:10 AM and at 9:45 AM, but then that was no longer the cause and yet it took a while to get back to sleep and after I finally did I woke up even more often. Went to pee one more time just before noon, after dad left, thinking it might help, but still kept waking up. Then I went again at 1:20 PM, hoping to catch at least another brief nap after that, but while I guess I did, I was awake again just before the alarm rang, at 2 PM, and I got up. Then I had the usual stuff plus almonds, with a slice of cozonac with added honey as the sweet thing, put on the full running gear, with an undershirt underneath and a few things in the pocket of my tights, and left at 4:15 PM, when the reported temperature was 16°C, likely to drop by just 1°C by the time I’ll finish.
The time was 47:20.91, with sector times of 4:09.60, 5:05.13, 5:53 (5:52.90), 4:30 (4:29.63), 4:57.22, 5:54.25, 4:22.25, 4:59.00, 5:46 (5:45.93) and 1:45.00, making for lap times of 15:07.63, 15:21.10 and 15:07.18. Was just hoping to stay under 49 minutes at first, but the first sector was fast, and after the second I was wondering about 15:10 on the first lap, to perhaps give myself a shred of a chance to stay under 48 minutes. And I managed that, and then started hoping even more after the great sector two of lap two. And that nice sector one of lap three made it nearly certain that I’ll stay under 48 minutes if there won’t be problems, and after another great sector two I decided to aim for 47:45 and really go for it… Only to realize after the end of the lap that I just had a shot to even stay under 47:30, so I really gave it everything on the final sector, managing a great time on it on top of staying well under 47:30 overall. I definitely didn’t expect that, and it was the best time since December 2, which was when I last took that iron, and the first time under 48 minutes since December 20.
Parts of sectors two and three were still fenced off, but they were here and there, not long stretches. And while there were quite a number of people, I could manage for the most part, only slowing because of roadblocks at the end of the long straight of sector one of lap one and right at the end of sector two of lap three, under the bridge, while the only brief stop was on sector three of lap one, because of a misunderstanding with someone on a scooter. As for physical issues, there were a few warnings from my right calf on sector three of lap two, but they went away after that.
After the run, I went to that Carrefour, jogging part of the way, and got some more yogurt, which was still at the old price in that location, and also rewarded myself with a sesame bar that was discounted as if it was expiring even though it wasn’t. Then I jogged almost all the way back, sparing a few seconds for a very quick look in the nearby Mega Image as well. Then I ate that bar and an orange, after which I went to the toilet and to shower… And it was a good thing I rushed to do so, because while it seemed that we were lucky with the hot water, a big problem having left most of Sectors two, three and five without since the day before, the temperature was dropping as I showered, so I hurried to finish, the “hot” water remaining quite lukewarm after that. Either way, I then made mamaliga. My right foot was burning again, however.

Sticking to the reverse order, last week’s run was on February 10, when I got up when the alarm rang, at 2 PM, though I was awake for a few minutes at that point, and had only napped a little bit more after waking up just after 1 PM. Then I had the usual stuff plus almonds, with a slice of cozonac with added honey as the sweet thing, put on the full running gear, with a few things in the pocket of my tights, and left at 4 PM, when the reported temperature was 14°C, likely to drop by just 1°C by the time I’ll finish, and it was sunny.
The time was 48:12.95, with sector times of 4:22.86, 5:02 (5:01.97), 5:52 (5:51.50), 4:37.28, 5:05 (5:04.40), 5:52.69, 4:35 (4:34.81), 5:01.07, 5:56 (5:55.75) and 1:50.62, making for lap times of 15:16.33, 15:34.37 and 15:32 (15:31.63). I didn’t think I’ll be able to do better than just staying under 49 minutes, and the first sector was worrying even for that target, but there were reasons for it being slow… Including the fact that I forgot to take my mask off before starting, being so used to it that it took me a little while to realize I still had it on and taking it off after the bridge, running with it in my hand after that. Either way, the next two sectors were good, resulting in a first lap that was good enough, but I was still calculating target times adding up to 49 minutes, and I continued to do so even after lap two, even though the time at that point should have allowed me to think of 48:30. Can’t even say that I really switched after the first sector of lap three, only finally setting my mind on 48:30 after the second… Which makes me wonder whether I’d have managed to get back under 48 minutes a week earlier if I’d have really set my mind on it early enough.
There were no notable physical issues, but it was windy on parts of sector three of laps one and two and at the end of sector two of lap two, though on lap three I can’t say I noticed it anymore. The real problems, however, were that there were plenty of people and the fenced off area started at one point on the long sector one straight and ended a little after the start of sector two, right at a stall, which created a bottleneck in that spot. There were also areas that were either scraped or fenced off towards the end of sector three, but those caused no serious problems. On sector one, however, it was bad, and on lap one I tried to stay on that narrow strip that was still open and ended up slamming into a man, since I was trying to squeeze past him but a girl moved to throw something in a bin in front of him and he moved because of that, then was likely startled by hearing me the next instant and turned to look, slowing or possibly even stopping when I was right there, so I ran into him and think I stepped on his foot as I pushed past. So on the next two laps I took to the grass a lot on that straight, going around benches and garbage cans and trees. And I often, again mainly after the first lap, also took to the grass on that last sector one straight, at the boat dock, and at one point when I tried to not do that, maybe on lap two, though I’m not really sure, a roadblock caused me to briefly stop. So I wouldn’t call any sector one time as representative. And there were problems in other areas as well, including slowing a few times and maybe one more brief stop, because of a roadblock at that stall where the fenced area ended, at the start of sector two, on top of a lot of weaving and going the long way around, that also being caused by the fenced areas, or sometimes by sticking to the lane.
After the run, I again went to that Carrefour, getting some more of that yogurt at the old price, and another bread. The bread was on a “sale” that just got it back to its previous full price, and I had to ask for it, pointing to one that seemed particularly large and asking the employee whether it’d even fit in the bag she was putting it in, and after saying that it had to she saw that the bag did actually tear, so she took another and was particularly careful, managing it in the end. It was only particularly large, however, not also heavier, the weight being just a little above what it should have been.
After getting back, I just had an orange and a little after 7:30 PM I went out again, going to these two that are next to each other. Just looked in Carrefour, but bought a few things from Kaufland. According to the catalog, that cat litter was not only back in stock, but also on sale, yet when I looked for it I just found an empty area, but at least I found bags of potting soil that weren’t torn and got one of those, and also a sweet pastry that had the evening discount, a lettuce at a price that was similar to what’d have been a regular price at the height of the season but which at the time was listed as being more than 50% off from what I guess would be the current full price, and a few other things. Then, while I had no issues with the self-checkout, the guard stopped me and asked for the receipt right after I left the checkout area, as I was passing by the information desk. After I gave it to him, he glanced at the bag with the potting soil and just briefly at the rest, not asking me to take anything out and show him, and when I asked whether I had seemed suspicious he said that what I was carrying was too voluminous, so I just said that the potting soil was voluminous and that was that… Though I was thinking that he should have seen me if I’d have found cat litter as well…
I was back a little before 10:25 PM and showered, finally having really hot water again, then had that sweet pastry and made mamaliga… And a lot of it, but putting fewer other things in as a result, since I had to add some expired kefir that dad hadn’t gotten to. And I only ate about half of it that night, leaving the rest for the next day, so I won’t stuff myself at night and finish that late anymore. Even so, that feeling of pressure in the right side of my abdomen had returned, and it seemed like there was some more swelling.

As for February 3, that was that week’s best day to run, but it was also when a protest was to take place at the Ministry of Energy, demanding increasing the green energy target for 2030 and focusing on investments in green energy instead of gas, also in order to have lower energy bills in the long term. And the breakdown I had the previous week had prevented me from going to that other protest, against the hunting quotas for birds becoming daily instead of yearly and the minimum required training for hunters being reduced from one year to six months, so I couldn’t also miss this one and therefore got up when the alarm rang, at 9 AM, had an apple and left just before 10 AM.
I was somewhat worried, since the event started at 11 AM and I thought it’ll take me over an hour to get there, but in fact it took me just under 50 minutes. And I soon took a position inside the perimeter where we were supposed to stand, but most, including the very visible Greenpeace members, silently resisted the “main” organizers’ attempts to have them stand there, as the gendarmes had asked. There were some discussions about moving a little, but eventually we remained there, and I ended up being asked by Olga to help hold a banner and needing to keep compensating, since the person holding the other side kept holding it too low or not stretching it.
The more unpleasant moment, however, was when Olga asked me to slowly remove my hat, since the name and logo of a fossil fuel company was very visible on it. Since it’s the only one I have except the one knitted by Andra, it was the one received when planting trees in November of 2019, so it also had the logo of the NGO organizing that event on it, and I said it was from them, but she said she knew that but the other one is very visible. So I just removed it suddenly and stuffed it in a pocket, not even thinking of trying to make it less obvious, and said I’m bald and don’t exactly want to have my head exposed, at which point she said she had one I could use, but I wasn’t going to use another’s clothes. And I didn’t really comment when she later asked whether the request had bothered me.
At least, though there were plenty of reporters and I was very visible, nobody tried to interview me, neither then nor later, after people started leaving and Olga asked me to hold that banner again for a little longer, that time on my own, after she had found someone else to take over my spot when she saw me trying to take some more pictures, allowing me to wander around a little more. And while I was doing so she came to apologize, in case I felt singled out, and I said I was feeling bad anyway, considering how I am around people. She also asked whether I wanted to go for a coffee with her after the protest, saying it could also be a tea or something else when I said I don’t even drink coffee, but I obviously declined, mostly just wanting her to leave me alone. However, she then asked whether there was anything else she could do, then apologized again when I said no, adding that she was glad that I was there and that I’m one of the most active members, so I also apologized for having been unable to attend the previous week’s protest and said that I’m probably also one of the most annoying members. She asked why do I think that and said that I’m so quiet, but at that point I finally wandered away.
Either way, the event was supposed to last for 30 minutes, and as 11:30 AM approached the few other regular participants started leaving, and the total number had only been around 30 anyway, many being NGO members. And those NGO members then moved to the entrance of the Ministry for a few more pictures, at which point I also put that hat back on, and eventually left at 11:45 AM, just wandering away as they were preparing to go in, not saying anything more. As for the outcome, they delivered the petition and a study and had some talks, but those had no result, or at least no good one, the strategy remaining the one focused on gas.
On my way back, I stopped at the Carrefour from Unirii, grabbing some spoiling bananas and seeing that the eggs sold by piece again didn’t have a listed price. So I asked an employee and she told me a price that’d be the regular one, which made me just get four, but the price I saw at the checkout was half that, so I told the cashier that I had been told a higher one and asked whether I could go back and get more, and she said I could, if I’ll first pay for those purchases and then leave them there. So I did that and grabbed seven more with code one, which I had put back after first going through all of them in order to select all of those.
I was back here at 1:50 PM, so it could be said that I actually had a little more time to get ready for the run, compared to waking up at 2 PM, but after sleeping so little and walking a fair bit, I was thinking that the main reason why I was determined to run that day was to have an excuse for the poor time I was sure I was going to have, especially since the pressure and discomfort I was feeling on the right side of my abdomen seemed to be worsening, and I was more and more concerned about fluid… And then something else went wrong even before I could start getting ready, since I wanted to put the eggs in the fridge, doing so just when dad left, and one fell on the floor and cracked. I placed the bag on a shelf, so I won’t risk dropping it if I’ll hold it while placing and arranging the eggs on the door, and I pushed it farther in, so it won’t fall off, but that was just when dad walked out and I guess I glanced at the door, which meant that I didn’t see that an egg had ended up under the shelf, obviously falling when I let go of the bag… So I had to gather it up and then also wash that spot a little.
Either way, after placing the rest on the door, I had the usual stuff plus almonds, but a banana instead of the usual apple, since I had already eaten one of those in the morning, and a slice of cozonac with added honey as the sweet thing. I just wasted time on the toilet, however, and what was worse was that something popped in the left side as I was pressing some areas of my abdomen. That made me so worried that I started shaking, but eventually managed to calm down to some extent and went out at 3:50 PM. The reported temperature was 7-8°C and there was next to no wind, but it was overcast, so on top of the full running gear I also wore that thing around my neck and the gloves, plus the jacket on the way, tied around my waist as I ran.
The time was 48:15.01, with sector times of 4:10.51, 5:01.34, 5:54 (5:53.78), 4:31 (4:30.57), 5:04 (5:03.96), 5:57.82, 4:33 (4:32.06), 5:11.22, 6:00.19 and 1:54 (1:53.56), making for lap times of 15:05.63, 15:32.35 and 15:44 (15:43.47). Seeing as I was initially thinking that I should aim for 52 minutes and will reward myself if I’ll somehow stay under 50 minutes, I definitely didn’t expect that! However, after dad had said that he was going to make pizza that evening, or at least what passes for pizza for him, I decided that I’ll also have some and that was going to be the reward, which likely motivated me to really push, wanting to deserve it. And I actually didn’t feel that I had pushed that hard on the first sector, and yet it was surprisingly fast, and when the second was fast as well I wondered whether I’ll manage to stay under 15 minutes on that first lap. And while I missed that target, I also knew I hadn’t quite given it everything and was nevertheless much faster than I had even dared to hope at first, so I started calculating target times adding up to 49 minutes. Then, with lap two also going well, I thought of 48:30, being pleased with the first sector of lap three and thinking that, if there won’t be problems, it’ll be hard to fail from then on, which indeed proved to be the case, and by a safe margin.
Surprisingly, I had no notable physical issues, but they were painting the new surface right at the end of the lap, and had just done so at the beginning, so those areas were fenced off, some other fenced portions appearing intermittently later on the first sector and a little earlier on the third. While there weren’t that many people overall and some knew to stand aside when noticing me, especially in fenced areas, the fences did cause some issues on the long sector one straight, as I had to take a little to the grass or step on the paved area that’s behind the stage on each lap, though at least I didn’t actually get blocked. There was one roadblock in a fenced area that did make me briefly stop, however, and I think it was at the start of lap two, but I’m not quite sure and it might have also been at the end of lap one or two or even, though far less likely, at the start of lap three. Either way, a man and a woman were walking on either side of a child and I don’t know whether the man had a handicap, was aping the child or trying to show something he was talking about, but as I approached from behind he started walking with difficulty and holding his arms to the side, and when I asked them to make way he got startled, stopping and stretching his arms even wider, fully blocking the way. And another brief stop was on the long straight of sector two of lap three, a dog that was off the leash and running ahead of me stopping and turning to look when it heard me, so I had to stop for an instant and step aside to avoid tripping over it. And I also slowed a little at the start of sector three of lap three, to see the time better, since it was still very cloudy and there were even a few drops towards the end, so it was darker than it’d have otherwise been, even though some breaks in the clouds had started appearing earlier.
At least I could crap after the run, and again later. And when I got on-line at night I was making a note of the fact that the router was listing an uptime of 100 days, so there had been no power failures in that long, since the one on the evening of October 26, and I meant to take a screenshot of that… And should have done so, because I was woken up by my UPS beeping because of a blackout just before 10:20 AM the next morning. It was a brief one, but enough for it to actually beep, meaning that it wasn’t just a matter of fractions of a second, and it was also enough for the router to reboot. Not that a screenshot of the router’s uptime matters, but it’d have just been nice to have it. Missing that, I’ll just add here that it had just reached 100 days and a half, since the hour had gone back during that period, so the power returning around 11:10 PM after that previous failure was the equivalent of 10:10 PM at the time of this one. On the other hand, and seeing as this paragraph went beyond February 3 anyway, and it was also added after midnight, since I only just managed to finish the previous one by then, I’ll also mention here that, as of the start of the month or so, my mouse has been double clicking often again, after being better for quite a while.

It’s not just that they don’t respect the Olympic Truce, but Russia seems to make a point of violating it specifically, and just when either they or China, their key allies, are the hosts. I mean, the war with Georgia was during the 2008 Summer Olympics in China, the annexation of Crimea, and the start of the ongoing war with Ukraine, was during the 2014 Winter Olympics in Russia, and now the looming threat of an actual invasion of Ukraine came during the 2022 Winter Olympics in China. True, as it could have likely been determined after the pact between Russia and China announced before the Games began, despite the repeated Western claims of the contrary, the invasion itself didn’t materialize during the Olympics, but the preparations themselves count, at least from my point of view, and the preparations seem more or less completed, both in Russia and in the separatist regions, and they’re also working on the justifications for an attack, so as of tomorrow they actually are likely to act… If they’ll need to, the only reason why I wouldn’t be quite as certain as Biden was last night being just that they may continue to take advantage of the West’s weakness and reluctance to engage in conflict to get what they want, or at least enough of it, by other means.
I see that there was even a study, published in September, analyzing Russia’s behavior and what works and what doesn’t against their expansionism, but the same mistakes continue to be made. It’s not just that the chance offered by Georgia in 2008 was refused, even though it was, from that very moment, pretty much certain that such an opportunity will not come again during Putin‘s lifetime, but nothing was even learned, so the same thing happened in 2014 and it’s likely to happen again now, and possibly in the future as well. Yes, the threat created some unity, but at the same time it continues to expose deep differences and intolerable weaknesses, all of which are adeptly exploited by Russia, and not just in Europe.
The only thing that works is a show of force, not backing down, pushing back harder than Putin pushes forward, but that’s not happening. There’s talk of red lines that may well not even need to be crossed and unspecified sanctions that are likely to be watered down even if some would be implemented, but those didn’t do any good after the annexation of Crimea and won’t help any more now either. As for what actually would help, the actual defense of Ukraine, that was specifically rejected, as was the possibility of Ukraine joining NATO in the foreseeable future, what’s more likely now being that it’ll actually be completely barred from doing so, which would be a major victory for Putin, and maybe one he’d be content with for the moment… Until next time. But that’s not just a loss for Ukraine, as it was for Georgia, but it’s an embarrassment for NATO. It doesn’t look good for the EU either, and it’ll have serious negative consequences, but it’s worse for NATO, because it essentially amounts to violating the very reason why it was founded! When the Baltic States were most at risk, they were protected and accepted, but now when Ukraine is in that position, and when Georgia also was, and possibly also Moldova, these very states are rejected, being denied the very protection NATO was created to offer… Which makes me wonder why does it even exist anymore, if it restricts itself to only actively covering the countries that are safe.

To start with the early hours of January 17, I started eating dinner at 3:40 AM, after having lunch in the evening. Then, after having lunch in the afternoon, I left at 7:10 PM, first checking the Mega Image on the way to Penny and finding the zacusca I wanted there, then getting the frozen spinach and corn puffs I wanted from Penny and also two large beets, since dad said he wanted some large ones. The total was a bit higher than it should have been, however, and the cashier also rounded down the change, giving me 0.07 RON less, and I noticed the reason for that higher total after arranging the purchases in my bags, when I checked the receipt and saw that she had charged the beets as black radishes. It’s the second time the two are confused at that location, but if the first time, when the confusion went the other way around but also replacing the less expensive with the more expensive, I noticed after leaving and went back and the guard gave me the small difference from his pocket, now I just pointed it out to the cashier and when she asked whether there was a price difference I told her what it was over my shoulder as I left.
That made me want to find some coins, wanting to be fair and just put what I should have paid under “house” expenses, with the difference, including the change not received, filed under my expenses, and I deduct found coins from those. And I did find the needed amount, and actually a bit over, just after putting my things in a cabinet once I got to Kaufland and looked around a little. Then I checked prices there… And found better looking beets, including some large ones, for a price between what I should have paid and what I really paid at Penny, so I got two from there as well, added them to the cabinet, then went to Carrefour, just getting some bread for dad. Then I returned to Kaufland, added the bread in the cabinet and washed my hands, but if when I first got there I had noticed that bakery discounts had already applied but decided to pass by that area, wanting to see whether they’ll increase at 9:30 PM, by the time I got back no discounted products were left, the employee cleaning the area. So I just got a few other things, used the self-checkout without problems and was retrieving my things from the cabinet when the announcement that the store was closed came. Still took my time to arrange everything, however.
Got back at 10:35 PM, then had an orange and finished the cake dad had brought from his sister two days earlier. Started eating dinner at 3:30 AM and got in bed at 5:25 AM… And going to bed right after dinner has likely been damaging my liver and I was getting really worried about that, even making a mental note of some pain in that area after waking up that day, and since then I’ve been increasingly worried about retaining fluid in my abdomen. The possibility hadn’t even crossed my mind before going to Floreasca, and I didn’t really think about it even after a small amount was found then, but that guy who was the last to be brought in before I was released from Coltea really stuck in my mind and after the MRI confirmed that the liver is the source, I’ve been increasingly worried about it and the symptoms seem to indicate that it’s getting worse… And also that very small quantities had probably first appeared quite a long time ago, if I try to remember the first times when I noticed such signs, though back then I was at most amused, just thinking that my body was doing something funny, if I thought about it at all.

On January 19, after waking up to pee at 7:45 AM and 9 AM, I didn’t check the time when I woke up the third time, thinking it must be close to 1 PM, but I guess it wasn’t, because after I guess briefly drifting off to sleep again I did decide to check and saw that it was just after 12:30 PM, and at that point it indeed was too late, so I just crawled back in bed and maybe napped just a little bit more, then woke up again a few minutes before 1 PM, turned off the alarm and got up. Then I had the usual stuff plus almonds, with a slice of cozonac with added honey as the sweet thing, just wasted time on the toilet again, put on what I was wearing inside those days, the old running suit plus an old t-shirt, plus the gloves and that thing around my neck, and the jacket for the way, tied around my waist as I ran, also took a few things in the pocket of my pants, and left a bit after 3:40 PM, when the reported temperature was 4-5°C, supposed to drop by a couple of degrees by the time I’ll finish.
The time was 48:47.73, with sector times of 4:11.30, 5:14 (5:13.81), 5:58.75, 4:37 (4:36.81), 5:13 (5:12.38), 5:59.65, 4:31 (4:30.47), 5:18.07, 5:52.43 and 1:54.06, making for lap times of 15:23.86, 15:49 (15:48.84) and 15:41 (15:40.97). Feared I won’t even stay under 50 minutes when I started, but the first sector was better than expected, and without giving it everything, so I had hope for a better time. Sector two put me back in my place, however, and at the end of the lap I was thinking that, since I won’t maintain that pace, 50 minutes must remain my target. But lap two made me hope to stay under 49 minutes, and while I thought it was unlikely, I pushed and sector one of lap three was promising. Sector two put that target in doubt again, but I just gave everything I still had on sector three and was safe before the final sector. A poor time, but all I could manage without that huge dose of iron…
There were fenced off areas in parts of sectors two and three, including a part of the long sector two straight, plus two small patches on sector one. The problems caused by people were on sector two, including brief stops because of roadblocks on laps one, as I approached the bridge, and three, the dogs of two people getting interested in each other at the start of the long straight and one pulling his large one away and continuing to walk across the path with his eyes in his phone, getting right in front of me. And I also had to take to the grass on that part of the long sector two straight where there were fences, on laps two and three, just a step on two, more on three. Otherwise, the time just wasted on the toilet had some effects as I was pushing, from the start of lap three, but it wasn’t bad. And there were no other specific physical issues, other than the fact that I just couldn’t push harder. The right nostril was awfully irritated after the run though, staying so for days and forcing me to wear that other thing that’d go around my neck inside as well, so it’s a good thing I now have two, since I wouldn’t have wanted to use the one I wear outside in that manner.
Back to that day, I just checked that Carrefour after the run, then had lunch after getting back, before going out again a bit after 7:20 PM. Went to Obor, being surprised to see that the yogurt I wanted had a higher price at that Carrefour than at the one from the park, so I just got a few other things. Then I also went to that Kaufland, put my things in a cabinet, washed my hands, and as I was on my way from the bathroom to the store’s entrance I was approached by a girl saying she was doing a survey. She had assumed that I was coming from the checkouts, however, saying she needed the receipt, so she couldn’t continue, and by the time I was done, seconds before the announcement that the store had closed, she understandably wasn’t there anymore. Either way, I got a number of things, quite a few of them on discounts, had no problems with the self-checkout, and while the closing announcement came as I retrieved my things from the cabinet, I still took a bit of time to arrange the purchases in the backpack and bags, walking out at 10:05 PM. Then, just outside, I took some more time to arrange my clothes, and finally got back here at 10:55 PM. Then I had a sweet pastry and an apple, it was almost 12:10 AM when I went to the toilet and to take a bath, and was out of the bathroom at 1:15 AM. I still had plenty to do, however, so it was 3:50 AM when I started eating dinner and 5:25 AM when I got in bed.

After having requested it on The Community Giveaway on the GOG.com forums the previous evening, on January 21 I received Pillars of Eternity: Deadfire – Obsidian Edition, again donated by that same user who donates so much. Interestingly, it was also in January, but last year, when I received the first game from him as well.
With a backlog that, considering how few games I finish per year, is certain to last me well over a decade, it’s increasingly hard to justify even entering contests, much less asking for games directly like this. But others have even longer backlogs and I’d never purchase these games myself unless, on top of being DRM-free, they’d end up being really cheap and without regional prices that are higher than the base price, and those conditions are less and less likely to be met, and I’d rather not get back to “piracy” if such other options exist, so I still make use of the chances I get, even if I feel increasingly embarrassed because of it, because someday I would like to play these games… Assuming I’ll live long enough, which is getting less and less likely, but that’s an entirely different story. Something that I have to think about now, however, is what to do about backing everything up on the external HDD, because this last game was large enough that I again ran out of space, and while for the moment I found a solution, I don’t exactly like it and there are just a few GB left even so.

On January 22, I meant to leave around 7:30 PM, but had barely finished lunch at that point, so I was thinking to at least leave before 8 PM, and in the end only managed to do so at almost 8:10 PM, also taking the recyclables, a burned LED tube and light bulb, and the used masks. Dropped the recyclables in a bin, then first went to the Carrefour from the park, dropping the tube and bulb in the appropriate bin from that mall and then seeing that the cakes I could get from there had a low price for the boxes of two. So I got one of those, to cross getting something from the confectionery at Kaufland off the list, then added some yogurt, the old price still applying in that location, and a few other things.
Then I went to Kaufland, putting my things in a cabinet and the masks in the appropriate bin and at first just checking for cat litter. Since I again found none, I even asked an employee and he said that there’s a problem, it’s not delivered anymore, and since the QR code on the expiring bread I meant to grab for dad was partially torn and obviously couldn’t be scanned I just went back out without purchasing anything, dashing to that pet shop to make sure I’ll take care of the cat litter before anything else… Even if the price had just increased by over 20% the day before, at least according to what I had seen on their site. I guess that was why Kaufland no longer carried it, and I think that manufacturer was manufacturing their store brand here as well, which would explain why that’s also gone, but we needed some right away, so I grabbed a bag and then added it in the cabinet… At which point I noticed that it was a bit torn and a few grains were spilling out. Hadn’t noticed that in the store because an employee pulling a large pile of products was just getting to that area, so I reached around him and took one of the bags that were on top without looking more closely.
Either way, I then washed my hands and got back in Kaufland, finding that the bakery area was almost completely cleared and nothing I’d care for was among the few things that were left. But I did grab some carrots, potatoes and bananas that had evening discounts, then dashed to add something else for myself just as the announcement that the store would close in five minutes came, had no problems with the self-checkout even though the bag with the potatoes had torn and I had placed them in a sturdier one, which added a little to the weight, then retrieved the other things from the cabinet, took some time to arrange everything in the backpack and bags and got back at 10:40 PM, having carried 22.5 kg.
The plan was to wash the stove top if the water was hot, and while it wasn’t as hot as I’d have liked, I could work with it, so I told dad to remove it while I just had a banana and put a few things in their place and went to work at 11:20 PM… And it seems I’m learning how to do that a fair bit better, because when I called dad to take it back he surprised me by saying that it was only 12:30 AM! Either way, then I went to the toilet and showered, and I guess that the fact that the temperature of the water was dropping made me finish faster, being out at 1:20 AM. I still had things to put in their place and plenty to clean after dad had cooked, however, so while I did have one of the cakes while doing that, it was 2:45 AM when I really started making the salad and, while I might have managed to start eating dinner an hour later, I decided to first go to the balcony to check whether what dad had cooked had cooled, and while that wasn’t the case, passing through the living room meant that I saw that he had left some more things there that I also took and washed. So I took it easy, since it was already so late anyway, and ended up starting to eat dinner at 3:55 AM, finishing at 5:10 AM and getting in bed at 5:30 AM.

I think my feet, mainly the right one, were burning again the following day, maybe after having carried so much, but I only really noticed it on January 24, and while the feeling persisted during the following days as well, and reappeared later, I can still say that there has been a significant improvement from that point of view, as the burning no longer went up on my legs as well, and the feeling is less intense anyway… Or at least it was, because while it’s not back to how it was at the worst times, lately that’s been getting worse again as well. But I’m on January 24, and that was when I made another note of getting really worried about my liver and having fluid in my abdomen, being increasingly scared about this. So I decided to try to not eat so late at night anymore, making the salad in the evening, eating much of it with lunch and leaving the rest for the dinner which I finished by 2:35 AM.
I messed up with one of the cats’ plates that evening, however, since there are also two identical ones that we use, or at least that dad uses, since I try to keep them in the cupboard. I clearly recall that at some point, no idea when, I had finished washing everything that was in the sink, then took that plate and ended up leaving it there. Couldn’t recall even then whether I had meant to do something else before washing it or I got distracted by something, and had absolutely no memory of what I did later, but I placed one such plate on my bowl when I microwaved lunch and that was still in my room when I went to make dinner and found the other among the clean ones, set to dry, having no idea when I washed it and put it there. It did seem like that one was less shiny and was still a bit dirty on the bottom, so I think that was the cats’… And also hope it was, since otherwise it means that the cats’ plate ended up on my food, and then also on this cloth I use when I eat on my desk, and also on my towel, but I’m not really sure.
And I guess that was the final straw at that moment. I was trying to push through until the run planned for January 26, but that just made me crack and I almost ran to wake dad up and cry. Just barely managed to sort of control myself that night, but when I got up the next day and went to the kitchen and dad came with Micky and closed the door to keep Liza out, making me feel trapped there with him, I really cracked and had to run. I did return to the kitchen for a bit while he was in the living room, but then spent most of the day in bed, and when I went back there in the evening to wash what he had left, I froze when he first came to bring something else, and when he came again I again had to run and get back in bed for a while. And that also meant only having lunch after he left in the evening and dinner later than I meant to, though I at least finished at 3:35 AM… And I’ve been managing to finish around that time most nights since then, with a couple of exceptions either way, continuing to make a note of those when I finished later.

And this is how far I got before dad got back this evening, so I scheduled it to be posted at 11:59 PM, in case I won’t be able to get back on-line by then. And then, since I cooked and again was at the very edge of a breakdown, I only managed to write a couple more paragraphs by midnight, so I finished it at night and just added everything else, and also edited an earlier paragraph and added a clarification, before going to bed in the morning.

A protest was taking place on January 26, against the hunting quotas for birds becoming daily instead of yearly and the minimum required training for hunters being reduced from one year to six months, but there was no way I could go when I was in that state. So I stuck to the plan to run that day, hoping the run will “reset” me at least to some extent, getting up when the alarm rang, at 1 PM, and just managing to check the forecast one more time before dad also got up. Then I had the usual stuff plus almonds, again getting back to the old usual stuff by having those wheat things as well, one with honey and another with jam, put on the old running suit, with an undershirt as well as a t-shirt under the shirt and a few things in a pocket, also took the gloves and that thing around my neck, pulled up on the way, and also wore the jacket on the way, tied around my waist as I ran. I left at 3:35 PM without checking the weather again, so I just have the forecast I saw after waking up to go on, which stated that the temperature was supposed to be 2-3°C at that hour, likely to drop to 1°C by the time I’ll finish, and it was also overcast.
I went for 16 km and the time was 1:21:22, with sector times of 4:16.92, 5:12.00, 6:02 (6:01.53), 4:34.50, 5:11 (5:10.81), 5:59.13, 4:40 (4:39.69), 6:41 (6:40.90), 6:10.00, 4:49 (4:48.78), 5:22.35, 6:15, 4:47, 5:21 and 6:03, making for lap times of 15:30.45, 15:44.44, 17:31 (17:30.59), 16:26 and 16:11. At first I memorized the exact times in case I’ll end up stopping after ten kilometers, but then ended up doing it all the way to one hour, when my stopwatch stopped showing them. Either way, at first I was aiming for 1:20 and not even hoping for anything better, but the first sector was slower than I thought and after the first lap I ended up thinking of 1:21. Dared to consider 1:20 again after lap two, but that huge loss of time on sector two of lap three made me wonder whether I even still had any chance to avoid being slower than two weeks earlier, when it had been so crowded. Since you can clearly see that on that sector alone I lost at least 1:20, and maybe up to 1:30, even if you can also say that I rested during that time, it’s likely that I’d have just managed to stay under 1:20 without that problem, especially since being so disheartened likely made me a little slower than I’d have otherwise been on the next sector as well. And maybe I could have also been a little less slow on lap four, since I just maintained what I knew to be a manageable pace, only really pushing again on lap five, when I realized I might just have a small chance to beat that previous time, which I eventually did.
There weren’t many people, so there was some weaving and going the long way around and I also took to the grass twice on the long sector two straight, the second time, on lap five, taking several steps and going around a garbage can, but there were no real roadblocks. There were fences on much of the route, however, starting from the turn before that last sector one straight that I don’t usually approach as such, though in that area there were just pieces of fence with some distance between them and the new surface didn’t seem fresh, so they were probably preparing to paint it and had placed the fences before placing ribbons between them and while I did my best to heed those fences, a few times, when people were blocking the way ahead, I did go around them and on the new surface. But after that area ribbons were also placed, so sector two was fenced off until close to the end of the long straight, where the fences finally stopped, which meant that I had to go the long way around quite a lot. As for physical issues, I did feel some warnings from my lower calves at the start of lap two and from my hips from the long straight of lap two, and that was despite being unable to use the new surface in that area, so I guess I can rule that out as the possible cause. But those warnings lessened later, the main problem remaining that I just couldn’t push harder.
But the major loss of time was, as I already stated, on sector two of lap three. Two people were ahead of me, one being a guy with a handicap that I keep seeing there, and while I usually try to give him space, since he walks with serious difficulty, he was on the side with the fences and I had to just squeeze past him… And I have no idea whether the shoelaces from my right shoe, so the one which had been towards him, had been undone already and I just noticed it right after passing them or he stepped on them, but I saw it just after I squeezed through… And they weren’t just undone, but also knotted and tangled up, so I lost a little over a minute because of that, 1:02 passing between the moment when I checked the time, after stopping and bending down, and that when I resumed running… And after a few steps I decided to stop again, to untie and retie the other shoelace as well, to make sure I won’t have another surprise, which likely cost me another 20 seconds or so, though I didn’t check the time again at that point. And, again as I already stated, being disheartened by that loss of time likely caused me to lose a little more later as well, plus that I was overheating a little when I stopped and being still and sweaty in the cold made me start to freeze, needing a little time to warm up again.
Moving on, after the run I went to Carrefour, jogging much of the way, grabbing a few things and also jogging almost all the way back. Then I had the remaining cake out of the two bought before washing the stove top and lunch, with an entire large bag of corn puffs instead of bread or some other bakery product, and it was almost 7:50 PM when I went back out, again to Obor, first checking that Carrefour as well and getting a few things, including an expiring cozonac that was just like the one I had bought from there a week earlier and just put in the freezer without touching, only 50% off…
Either way, I then went to Kaufland, put those purchases in a cabinet, washed my hands and headed straight to the bakery area, seeing that some of that bread was still there and discounted. So I went to take a paper bag and have a quick glance at what else was available, returned for it… Only to see that the employee had just cleared it away! And it was just a few minutes past 9 PM… So I just got one pastry, which was meant for my mother but which I ended up eating myself some days later because dad changed the plan and no longer went there those days, and two buns. Then I got the food for Liza, which had been my main reason to go there, after which I went back to the discounted bananas I had seen, ending up digging through the boxes and filling a bag when I saw that the discount had increased even more, the price going down to a mere 0.50 RON / kg.
Dad had sent me an SMS while I was getting the food for Liza, asking me to look for potting soil if I still could, but it was only after getting all those bananas and grabbing a few other discounted things that I did so… And couldn’t find it, so I meant to ask an employee, but on top of my state of mind making that even harder than normal, the two who were in that area were arguing, which made me hesitate even more. But I was running out of time, so I eventually did ask and was pointed to where it should have been and told that more should be on the other side, in the auto section. The only bag I found in its proper place was torn, however, and when I told the employee she just repeated that I should also look in the auto section, but despite looking quite thoroughly I found none there, and could see no reason why any should have been there in the first place.
Closing time was quickly approaching by then, but I still wanted to also get some more garlic, at a mere 1 RON / kg. I guess I shouldn’t have bought it at 6.50 RON / kg a week earlier, but that was already 50% off, they claimed that it was from Romania and it’s not like I could have known that they’d still have so much and drop the price to that level when I’ll get back there. Either way, two other men were digging through the crates and I checked the time when I joined them, seeing 9:56 PM, so we just dug through the top crate, finding enough that was quite good while one of the two was also offering advice on how to select and store it. I think they continued for a little longer, but when the announcement that the store had closed came, I said that we shouldn’t keep the employees waiting after us and went to the self-checkout. Scanning the 30 pieces of cat food one by one took a while, however, and an employee was next to me by the time I finished, but there were no problems with the machine and when I apologized for holding her up she told me not to worry about it, plus that I wasn’t the last customer anyway.
Then I retrieved the other purchases from the cabinet and quickly walked out, arranging everything in the bags and backpack outside and finally walking away at 10:20 PM. The problem was that one bag was tearing and I had to stop a few times to find ways to hold it, and I just managed to make it back before it completely fell apart, getting here at 11:10 PM, having carried 16 kg. Then I had a banana and, after putting most of the purchases away, it was almost 12:30 AM when I went to the toilet and to shower, getting back to the kitchen when it was almost 1:30 AM and starting to eat dinner at 3:20 AM. Of course, I was ever more worried about having fluid in my abdomen, but the run did “reset” me to some extent, so at least I wasn’t running and hiding anymore, though I was, and clearly still am, at the very limit.

On January 29, the noise dad made when he got up woke me at or just after 9:15 AM, and after I went to pee after he came out of the bathroom I couldn’t get back to sleep, eventually getting up again just before 11:15 AM. Then I got back in bed at 1:30 PM, maybe slept for an hour before waking up to pee again, and then I might have just napped a little more during the next hour and a half, eventually getting up again at 4:30 PM. And then, after having started it two days earlier, that evening I finished The Thief of Fate and wrote the quick review.

As for January 31, I got up when the alarm rang, at 10:30 AM, though I was awake for a few minutes at that point, and then left a bit after 12:15 PM, to withdraw the money for the state bonds purchased a year ago… Only to be rather lost in my own mind and end up going the wrong way. Returning to the known route would have just meant losing a few minutes, but I thought it should be simple enough to get there from where I was… And yet somehow missed the street, thinking I hadn’t yet reached it, so I kept going in the wrong direction for quite a long time, a funny thing being that I was asked for directions during that time, and it’s not the first time that happens when I’m lost. Either way, I eventually realized I was far off and found my way back to the street I should have been on in the first place. I didn’t know just where I was on it, however, so I kept going in the wrong direction a little longer before finally realizing that I was way past where I should have been and making my way back, a trip which should have taken less than half an hour ending up taking exactly one hour. But at least that meant I passed by a recycling center I wanted to check again for a long time and saw that they offered a little more for paper, which was useful earlier this week.
Either way, things were simple enough once I got to the Sector 3 Treasury. The guards just asked whether I had a certificate when I was looking around, since the door to the stairs was closed and I was uncertain I could go up, and when I showed it one just glanced from a distance and told me to go up. And there was no line and the amount was what I had calculated, so after they confirmed that I went back down, was soon called and received the money. Then, after making a little detour to see just where I had missed that turn, I was back here a little before 2 PM.
Before going out again I cleaned the space inside my desk meant for the UPS, and also behind the desk in that area, since cables were not in the way, in order to finally be able to move the UPS back, and while I was at it I also quickly vacuumed some parts of the room. Only actually moved the UPS two days later, however… And while I’ve been keeping a rag and the furniture spray here since then, right next to my chair, meaning to continue what I started then and clean my room a little, I’m yet to do so even now.
Back to that day, since dad had cleaned the litter box once and thrown away a lot, we needed cat litter again, so I went back out at 4:30 PM and rushed to that pet shop… Or more exactly to that area, since I first checked that Kaufland again, just in case it had reappeared there. But it hadn’t, so I just looked through the pile of expiring bread and bought two for dad before going to the pet shop… And finding none of that kind there either, only the more expensive types still being available, and when I asked an employee he confirmed that they no longer had any. That left me wondering what to do and I started jogging, then thought to go to Auchan and jogged that way for a little while, but then changed my mind and went back towards the Carrefour from the park, as originally planned, still jogging. However, when I reached the intersection I remembered that there’s a pet shop in that farmers’ market as well, so I crossed the road and went there, finding that I did so just in time, since it was closing in ten minutes. And while it had none of that cheaper cat litter, what it did have was cheaper than it’d have been in Carrefour, and also a little cheaper than the cheapest one left in that pet shop, and it was supposedly scented as well, so I bought a bag.
With that problem finally taken care of, albeit for a higher price, I went to Carrefour, asking the guard to put a sticker on the cat litter. He told me to put it in a cabinet, however, so I asked whether he’ll watch to make sure that nobody else will take it, since I had no coin and would therefore be unable to lock the door, and he just dismissively said that nobody’ll take anything. So I put the bread there as well, got almost everything I had planned to get, minus one bag of bagels for my mother, since that cat litter had cost more and I had given dad everything I had minus what I thought I was going to need, then retrieved my things from the cabinet, put the cat litter in the backpack and rushed away.
Well, I was carrying 17 kg, so jogging was out of the question and even rushing might be a somewhat relative term, but I nevertheless managed to get back right at 6 PM, as planned. Then I just had grated apples with sugar and showered, and in the evening I decided to do the day’s squats in the living room, next to dad, since I was watching the end of a match, which also meant that I could time them and the time was an amazing 1:58! Either way, I then made mamaliga… And was reminded that I really need a new and good whisk, since what definitely looks like rust keeps reappearing on this one right away and it visibly leaks into the water if it’s left there even for a few minutes.
Otherwise, my feet were burning and freezing and numb, but I was still far more worried about my abdomen, with the dull pain and the feeling of pressure, or of something possibly swollen, in the lower, or perhaps middle, right side, which I had been noticing for a while, returning. It seemed too low to be caused by the gall bladder, and clearly too high to be the appendix, so on top of the continued concerns about fluid, I was wondering about some possible hernia as well. However, it might have also been, at least in part, a case of pain radiating from my upper thigh, since I later realized that a muscle or tendon from that area was hurting quite badly, and that particular abdominal issue subsided when that got better. But the overall situation hasn’t gotten better, in fact quite the contrary…

This is just sick. Looked when I saw on Goodreads that a friend had read and liked it and the description stating that it’s about a young man drifting into madness after losing his lover and depicting a bleak view of the human condition got me interested, striking close to home. However, it was not what I expected… Not based on that description, at least, because it is what one might well expect after seeing that the author described it as distilled poison.
Maybe I should have given my thoughts a little time to get distilled as well, but that’d probably be unwise, even for one such as me. So I’ll just say that both of those words used by the author are perfectly accurate, The Blind Owl being probably too short to be considered an actual book but highly concentrated, purified, and meant to clutch the reader in a sickening, poisonous grasp on a profound level. That even applies to the first section, but the conclusions one is likely to draw from it will be negated by the stream of consciousness that follows… Not that “consciousness” is in any way the correct term for this depiction of such mental and spiritual destruction.
Admittedly, what got lost in translation is a question, and the translator also stated, in this edition’s rather lengthy foreword that also included some comments which would have been better left for an afterword, that the work is considered nearly untranslatable. But he also states that, after 27 years and 15 versions, he’s finally content that it’s close enough, and I’m thinking that the original would be more confusing and sickening than any translation. As such, perhaps the only valid conclusion would be that it’d be folly and presumptuous to think that you can draw a conclusion, can tell what’s “real” and what’s not and what it means. And, again, it’d probably be unwise to even try.

Rating: 3/5

On January 3, I had lunch after waking up and was taking it rather easy, meaning to first go to the nearby branch of my bank to get the new card, since the old one was expiring, and thinking that it was open until 6 PM, but luckily dad went out earlier and when I told him I might be gone by the time he’ll be back and why he said it was open until 5 PM, and I checked and saw that it was true. So I gave up on the idea to also take the plastic and metal and the things I take to Kaufland and rushed out, since even so it was close to 4:50 PM when I left, jogging and getting there in five minutes. Then I said why I was there and the guy asked if I used their app as if it was just part of the procedure, assuming that I did, being very surprised when I said I didn’t. Even after I showed him my phone, he just said that in that case I should have it enabled for the moment when I’ll get another phone, but I said I had no interest in a smartphone and mostly use mine as a clock, hardly ever even speaking on it. And then, after he gave me the card, he also asked if I had a shopping card, adding that it would help a lot when I said I didn’t, but I just said I don’t really use cards anyway and left before he could move to the next item, if there was one.
After activating the new card at the ATM outside, I had quick looks at decorations in two little stores from that area and also checked a Mega Image I passed by on the way, then reached that location of the Library, meaning to return the book I had taken on December 8. I had kept it until then because dad had said that he also wanted to read it, but he apparently just went through the foreword, saying he had no time to read more, and it was due back on January 5, even that only being because they had been on vacation… And, unfortunately for me, they still were. I recalled that the vacation ended on January 2 and hadn’t checked before leaving, so I got there and once again found the place closed, the vacation also including January 3. So I just continued on my way to Obor, and when I reached that area I checked a Profi, but the cabbage wasn’t that cheap anymore, then had a look and saw that the new confectionery from there finally displayed the name and it was the one I had found on-line and not the one I had been told when I asked, and I also had a quick look through that Mega Image.
Then I went to that mall and, after having a look in a bookstore, into Carrefour, checking the expiring and spoiling things and first grabbing a bag of spoiling oranges, since all but a few seemed all right. The bag was torn, however, and one orange was close to it in that cart, so I weighed them together and saw ten grams less than the listed weight of the bag, so that orange had probably fallen from it but the scales used when the label was placed had added those ten grams. But the weight still being less than the listed one gave me an excuse to look again in the cart, finding another loose orange and getting that as well, then walking away, trying to check the others and carefully replacing the worst one with that loose one through the tear. Then I threw that bad one back in the cart and weighed the bag again, seeing some 50 grams more than the listed weight but hoping it won’t be noticed and justifying it by telling myself that, while most probably unintentionally, they had tried to cheat me first. In addition, oranges sold in Carrefour since late December were recalled on January 6, controls prompted by information that they were in fact from Turkey despite being labeled as from Greece finding pesticide residue far above the limits, but the list of stores which had sold those didn’t include the one from Obor, so maybe they were fine after all. Either way, I also got some of those vegetarian burgers for dad and something that was discounted as if it was expiring even though it wasn’t for myself. Also meant to add a pack of gum from the other area where expiring products are in that location, also for dad, but the discount label on it wouldn’t scan, it was the last one of that kind that was there and there was no price label on the shelf either, so when the cashier asked me to bring her either another one or the label, I rushed there but had nothing to bring, so I had to give up on it.
Kaufland was next and after putting my things in a cabinet and washing my hands I found that lemons were even cheaper than they had been, and while the large majority either had a thick peel or were spoiling, I still found some more decent ones to get. Also got some very discounted bundles of radishes, and after digging a fair bit through the pile I also managed to find some decent red onions that also had a good discount. Then, after grabbing something from the expiring products area as well, I walked past the bakery area the second time right after 8 PM and was surprised to see that the evening discounts also applied to bread, which hadn’t been the case in that location before, and several of those I get from there were left, so I put on gloves and got five. Meant to get four at first, but the paper bag I tried to put them in tore, so I carefully moved them to another and then added the fifth. Then I got two more things from that area and also found an expiring bread for dad, and after having another look around I made my way to the self-checkout, which had no issues with the bakery products but asked me to place all four bundles of radishes on the scales after I already had. But the employee was watching, came right away to ask what was going on and logged on to override the error.
Then I retrieved my things, arranged them a little and went back to Carrefour, first having another look through the bags of spoiling bananas and picking one that seemed quite fine. The main reason I went back, however, was that the first time around I had noticed that the eggs sold by piece were still discounted, so I spent some minutes checking the whole pile and selecting the ones with an expiration date that was farthest away out of those with code one and the one bio (organic) one I could find, then putting a few of those with code one back, to be left with the number I wanted. Had also meant to grab some of the expiring bread I had seen the first time around, for dad, but they were already clearing away that area at that point and those I wanted weren’t there anymore, so I have no idea whether others bought them or they just took them away. On the other hand, had noticed discounted slippers as well and I need to replace mine, but it’s a good thing I forgot to go back for them, since that way I was left with the bills I found myself needing the next morning.
After retrieving my things from the cabinet and arranging them a little, I saw it was 9:35 PM, so maybe I’d have had the time to get back to the first Mega Image I had checked and see whether I’d still find the expiring bread I had spotted there, to get that for dad instead, but on the one hand I knew there won’t be room for it in the freezer, considering how much I had bought for myself, and on the other I just had a chance to get back before he’ll leave and thought that he might want a banana, so I rushed, got back at 10:20 PM and just managed to catch him, and he did take a banana. Then I put some of the purchases away, had the one banana that seemed bad only to find that it was actually just fine, only the peel looking bad, also had the sweet pastry I had bought, and then showered. After that, I put some more things away and made an onion salad, starting to eat dinner at 3:45 AM and getting in bed at 5:20 AM. However, that night was the first when I managed to no longer count and arrange the slices of bread, and it seems that I can continue to control that aspect of my OCD since then.

After checking before going to bed and seeing that the order of cat food I had made on December 31, to be able to make use of the discount code I had, was likely to be delivered that day, I was woken up just after 8:30 AM by the SMS confirming that. So I went to pee and washed what dad had left in the kitchen… And hadn’t even managed to get back to sleep when the delivery guy called, at 9:12 AM, saying he was a couple of minutes away, even though I had requested the delivery to be after 2 PM and later saw that the store had in fact written 4 PM on the label. But he was there and I was awake, so I rushed to change, grabbed the money, relieved that dad had been able to leave the 30 RON I needed to add to the smaller bills I had left in order to have the exact amount, and received the packages at 9:15 AM… Yes, packages, because they had again used two separate boxes, filling them with a lot of paper, even though I had just added a small amount of food for Liza and there’d have easily been room for it in the larger box, alongside the boxes of cans for Micky.
After opening the boxes and putting the food away, I tried to get back to sleep, but it was probably almost 11 AM when I finally managed it, and I again had a bit of a headache while I was lying there… Which headache returned when I spent a few more hours in bed in the evening, only napping a little bit, being even edgier than usual because the priest was supposed to come that evening and I didn’t want to be caught out of my room at that time. Not that he even came then, and when dad eventually called he was told that people had started turning him away around 8 PM, saying it was late, and he had decided to stop and return to the building two days later.
Otherwise, that evening I started The Destiny Knight. Then, at night, I went to the kitchen at 1:15 AM, cleaned what I had to clean and had to figure out where a bad stench was coming from, eventually finding that dad had heated some baked fish, placed the paper it had been in and the bones in the cat food bag we keep in the kitchen for such a purpose, since it can be sealed, but left the bag open. Then I could finally get to what I had to do for myself and only started eating dinner at 3:50 AM.

Since I already wrote about the January 5 run in the post about the best run times at the start of the year, I’ll skip that and say that after the run I went out again, at 5:05 PM, jogging to that Library location to finally return that book that was due that day. Just walked quickly for the first half of the way back, but then I realized I had to jog again and did so, being back a few minutes before 6 PM, as planned. Then I had an orange and a tiramisu dad had brought, though I’m not fond of those, then finally crapped and had a shower with water that was mostly cold. After having been mostly cold the day before, the site had first stated that it was supposed to get back to normal at noon, then at 3:30 PM, and it had seemed warm enough when I left, and even while washing dishes in the kitchen after getting back, but then it was mostly cold in the bathtub and seemed to be getting worse as time passed. But at least I dealt with a number of domestic matters, and then made mamaliga after dad left. Got in bed at 5:25 AM.

On January 6, I couldn’t get back to sleep after the second time I woke up to pee, around 8 AM, and also washed what dad had left in the kitchen. Tossed and turned and eventually got on the computer just before 9:45 AM. Just over two hours later I went to pee again and tried to get back to sleep, eventually managing it and finally getting up again a little after 3 PM, though I had been waking up before that as well. And since I didn’t want to be caught in the kitchen when the priest was going to come, I had lunch soon after getting up.
Got back in bed in the evening, napping a bit at first, but then the noise made by the cats and dad meant that there were no more chances of that, so I just stayed there, curled up and messed up. Felt about to shit myself at one point, but waited a little and then when I went to the toilet I just wasted time, nothing coming out. And when dad wanted to say something when I came out I just told him to leave me alone and got back in bed, staying there until I went to the kitchen, a bit after 1 AM… At which point I saw that he had tried to wash some things, of course not doing it properly and putting them next to what I had washed, creating puddles by leaving them to dry all over, or making a mess in other ways, so I had to get to work on fixing that. Either way, I started eating dinner at 3:30 AM and got in bed again at 5:30 AM, but I was really messed up. And something around or behind my left ball had been occasionally hurting all day, the feeling not being an unfamiliar one and possibly being caused by the hemorrhoids, especially after struggling to crap before leaving for the previous day’s run, but it was concerning and, while that’s on the right side, it might have been an early sign of the just about constant dull pain I started feeling later in my abdomen, and which continues.

On January 7, I went out at 7:30 PM, again having dad’s large backpack and also taking the recyclables, which I dropped off in a bin on the way, and what I take to Kaufland. But I first went to the Carrefour from the park, just getting cabbage. Then I went to that newer Kaufland, but on the way quickly checked Profi and bought some beets for myself and some frozen vegetables for dad from Penny. Had also meant to look for the teas that were on sale at Penny, but after deciding to leave the other things I had meant to look at for later, thinking I’ll come back if I’ll find the cat litter in that Kaufland, I forgot about those… And didn’t return either.
As I rushed to Kaufland with the bag with the purchases in one hand and the backpack with the cabbage in the other, there was a sudden burning sensation in my right foot after I crossed the road, and while I quickly walked it off at the time, at one point when I woke up the following morning that area was hurting, and it took a couple more days until it stopped giving occasional warnings. Either way, I again found a Lidl cart in Kaufland’s parking lot and that time around I did take it back in order to retrieve the coin, then went to Kaufland, put my things in a cabinet, washed my hands, checked for cat litter right away… And found none. And there was no time to lose if I wanted to be able to also get to that other location, being just after 9 PM, so I went right back out, retrieved my things and rushed, washing my hands again after I reached that other location and put my things in a cabinet. The announcement that the store was going to close in 20 minutes came right after I walked in, but the worse problem was that there was no cat litter there either, so I quickly grabbed a few bakery products, discounted by 75%, plus two black radishes and a number of carrots I didn’t really take the time to select, since those had good evening discounts, rushed to the self-checkout, which fortunately caused no problems, and quickly retrieved my things from the cabinet, hearing the announcement that the store was going to close in five minutes as I was doing that. That gave me just enough time to rush to the nearby pet shop, grab a bag of cat litter and purchase it two minutes before closing.
I then stopped in the pet shop’s entrance area in order to try to put the purchases in the backpack, but an employee asked me to leave so he could lock the doors, so I had to continue outside… And that backpack was heavy, and there was what seemed to be a tearing sound the first time I put it back on. And the straps were too tight, so I took it off and then had to put it on again, at which point it caught my jacket’s sleeve, where I have that pocket, and it’s possible that there was a tearing sound at that point as well. Couldn’t see any damage, but it could be something small that will become noticeable later, so I can only hope that won’t be the case. Either way, in order to avoid forcing it more, I walked with the backpack in an awkward position to one of the tables outside that KFC, set it on it so I won’t have to fight its weight anymore and finally put it on properly.
I was back a little before 10:40 PM, having carried about 17 kg. Then I had a banana, the sweet pastry I had bought and lunch, finished the book and just managed to post the quick review before midnight, then checked a few more things and showered. Got back to the kitchen at almost 1:30 AM and there was much to do, so I started working on the salad at 2:40 AM, but it was just before 3 AM when I actually sat down to chop, and I started eating dinner at 4 AM, though I had been licking some things in the kitchen for a while before that. Finished eating at almost 5:15 AM, and then dad came back and we talked a little, so it was 5:40 AM when I got in bed.

Moving on to the early hours of January 11, I started eating dinner at 3:20 AM, and that was after having lunch after waking up, in the afternoon, and just about breaking down in the evening. I had been curled up in bed, crawled out to ask dad for that backpack again, but simply couldn’t get the words out once I got there and ran back. Did get back up after midnight, however, and managed to ask then, and also shaved. Either way, I got in bed at 5:20 AM.
The original plan for that day included checking three Penny locations and required leaving at 4:30 PM at the latest, but I saw little reason to check the nearby one, so it was almost 5:30 PM when I left, first going to Auchan Titan and getting some things for dad. Also meant to get one of those breads for myself, but since those are priced according to weight, I picked three and weighed them and saw the listed weight being 14 grams above the real one in all three cases, and while the bags were open and I was thinking of swapping the biggest with one of the others, which weighed ten grams less, so I’d just pay for four grams more, I wasn’t sure I could do it without being seen and, either way, I wanted to be cheated less by the store, not cheat another customer who could later end up buying the one I’d leave, which would weigh even less than the listed weight and which I’d have also touched with my unwashed hands in order to make the switch, so I just gave up on getting bread.
But my main reason for going to that area was that Penny, so I then went there, put the purchases in a cabinet and found the tea I wanted and the frozen vegetables for dad, but just a single 1 kg bag of peas seemed left, so I grabbed it. The teas confused me, however, since the catalog seemed to indicate that the discount applied if you bought any three teas of that kind, but on the shelf and on the price labels they were paired, two and two… And the employee who was in that area when I started looking had left by the time I could persuade myself to say something, so I just told the cashier that they were supposed to have a discount, so I won’t have surprises, and they did, even though those I had taken were from different pairs. And when I meant to arrange the purchases I found some instant coffee in the bag, and I have no idea whether it fell in when the cashier got something, probably cigarettes, for the next person or she or said next person put it in intentionally. But the problem was what I didn’t find, that being the store card, since I had used dad’s to get the discount for the peas, so after checking myself thoroughly I asked the cashier whether I had left it there and she said somebody had indeed left a card, so it was probably mine, or more exactly dad’s. Not that I can tell whether it was that one or not, but it most likely was, so I took it.
Only finding one of those bags of peas meant I wanted to check the second Penny location as well, so I needed to hurry. The next planned stop was the Carrefour from the park, however, for more cabbage, and while I got two large ones for dad from the pile, I wanted one more nice and smaller one for myself, so I used my keys to cut open one of the bags that were yet to be opened, taking one from there. And, after changing my mind multiple times, I eventually also bought some bio (organic) biscuits that were discounted as if they were expiring even though the date was months away, the problem being that even that halved price seemed quite outrageous for biscuits, so I doubted that the discount was real until I checked other stores after getting back that evening and saw prices that were even higher than the listed full price in Carrefour, which struck me as quite insane.
After putting the cabbages in the backpack and struggling for quite some time to close it, I walked out of that mall just seconds before 9 PM and rushed to the Penny next to the newer Kaufland, using two cabinets for my things and, after digging under the smaller ones, finding just that second 1 kg bag of frozen peas I wanted. Then I also rushed to that Kaufland, peed and washed my hands, found very deep bakery discounts and grabbed some buns, also got a few more onions, had no issues with the self-checkout and, before leaving the checkout area, also used the scales that are there in order to get a label that I then used to keep the bag with the buns closed. And I managed to do that just in time, the announcement that the store had closed coming as I was retrieving my things from the cabinet, so I just grabbed everything, not taking the time to arrange, since the employees were already locking the door, the guard telling me to use the emergency exit to leave and another employee opening it for me, seeing that my hands were full.
Using that exit meant that I came out right next to the benches and tables that are outside, so I took my time arranging everything. Then, after needing to make a couple of stops on the way, I was back here a little before 10:55 PM, having carried 21 kg. Then I had an orange and those biscuits and a late lunch, finished at 12:30 AM, after which I went to the toilet and showered. I got back to the kitchen just after 2 AM, it was past 2:30 AM when I started making the salad, 3:50 AM when I started eating dinner and past 5:25 AM when I finished. Since dad was again already back by then, we again talked a little and it was 5:55 AM when I got in bed.

As for January 15, I’ll start with the early hours and say that I started eating dinner at 3:30 AM, after having lunch in the evening. Then, with the weather having pushed me to delay that week’s run until then, even though it was Saturday, I got up when the alarm rang, at 1 PM, and had the usual stuff plus almonds, really getting back to the old usual stuff by having those wheat things, one with honey and another with jam, as the sweet thing. Rather burned those things in the microwave at first, however, trying to see whether I could heat them a little and also thinking that they were expired for half a year, if such a thing can expire, and ending up with a hole burned in one and that area burned on one side of the other as well. And I unfortunately also wasted 40 minutes on the toilet, being rather constipated during that period, in fact things only recently starting to get better from that point of view, and I’m not even entirely certain of that. Then again, I had crapped in the early moments of that day, before going to the kitchen at night, but felt that something was there and it wasn’t coming out. Either way, I then put on the full running gear, with some things in the pocket of my tights, but actually had another t-shirt over the running one, plus that thing around my neck and the gloves, and also wore the jacket on the way, tied around my waist as I ran. The reported temperature was 9-10°C when I left, at 3:40 PM, but it was supposed to drop to about 5°C by the time I’ll finish, since I was going for 16 km.
The time was 1:21:25, with sector times of 4:23, 5:28, 6:07, 4:36, 5:16, 6:03, 4:39, 5:28, 6:16, 4:52, 5:20, 6:19, 4:48, 5:30 and 6:20, making for lap times of 15:58, 15:55, 16:23, 16:31 and 16:38. I was hoping for 1:20, but that seemed unlikely from the start and quite clearly so after that bad sector two of lap one, so at that point I was wondering whether I’ll even stay under 16 minutes on one lap, and just barely managed that on the first. That made me think that I was going to have to resign myself to target times adding up to 1:23, but recalculated after staying under 16 minutes on the second lap as well, aiming for 1:21:30 and in the end just managing that, awful as it is, being 5:09 slower than the previous time I had covered this distance. Admittedly, that was three months before, and people, combined with the work still being done, quite clearly cost me over a minute, so maybe on a clear path I’d have just managed to stay under 1:20, but that’d have taken everything…
It was, of course, really crowded, and people choosing to walk or even just stand on the running lane even when they had space around it made it even worse, so while some were worse than others I don’t think there was any sector without serious problems caused by people and there likely were some where that cost me at least ten seconds. Since even only remembering all the times when I had to briefly stop because of roadblocks would have likely been impossible, I didn’t try, but I do remember one moment, on sector two of lap four, when I heard a faster runner approaching and wanted to make way, slowing when I realized that he’d have caught me right when we’d have reached a roadblock formed by other people… Only for him to do the same and gesture for me to go ahead… Which gesture I only saw after I had already committed to let him through even if that meant stopping, which I did. But he was also determined to let me stay ahead, telling me to keep going and even pushing me a little. And while that’d have been enough to make the moment stay in my mind, another reason was that, while I didn’t get a good look, just glancing out of the corner of my eye, that other runner might have been that guy I see as the “second in command” from the Dream Trek group again. And he stayed behind me after that, and by the end of the lap I no longer heard him. But while he was still just behind me, after we squeezed through that first roadblock, two other people formed another by crossing the path in front of us, and as I squeezed through I heard him comment that it must be really hard to look behind, like it makes them choke. Either way, knowing that he was there and could be faster but had chosen to let me ahead made me push harder for the rest of that lap, and that was likely the only reason why I even managed to stay under 1:21:30.
In terms of the work being done, they seemed to be repairing the areas where the new surface had been walked on before hardening, so plenty of small areas, and a couple of longer ones, were either scraped or fenced off. And there was also a fenced off area just before the bridge on sector one, the fence ending at the bridge but then another piece of fence being placed right on the new surface under the bridge, so the narrow space and the people meant that on every lap I had to take to the grass as I approached the bridge in that place, and then I had to try to find a way through while passing under it, on one side or the other. But at least it was clear under the bridge on the other side, where it had been completely closed off the week before. And, while that area was fenced off that day and I could just look, it did seem that they had actually fixed the part of the lane that went through one of the paved areas, which had been really bad before. On the other hand, in the other paved area, where the new surface had looked even worse, though it had always been fenced off before and I couldn’t actually try it, they decided to give up, removing the new surface and putting the stones back… Which still means that the area in question is even worse than it was, since the stones weren’t put back as well as they had been, and you had to be careful in that area even before. And I’ll also mention here that, while a fenced area ended just at that stall where it’s usually crowded, on sector three, and I thought I’ll have to go behind it each time, I only did so on lap one, and only had to slow on one occasion otherwise, finding a gap the other three times.
Compared to the rest, the little time lost with the glove is irrelevant, though a couple of times I struggled a little more to get it back on. On the other hand, leaving and therefore starting ten minutes later than planned meant that it got dark too soon and I briefly stopped at the start of sector one of lap five and slowed at the start of the next sector in order to see the time better. As for physical issues, felt some pain in my left hip even on the way to the park, which stayed with me even though it was never bad. Also, as of lap four I started getting some warnings from the right knee as well, these also staying with me but not getting worse. And, while I was worried that it was going to be a problem throughout, the time just wasted on the toilet only had some consequences as of sector two of lap five, when I was pushing harder, and it wasn’t a serious problem even then. And while I clearly didn’t even try to give it everything after seeing how crowded it was, I also realized from the beginning that I was definitely back to being unable to keep sprinting from start to end on any of the long straights.
As for what I did after the run, I did check that Carrefour, but didn’t get anything, then got back and just had an orange and drank the rest of the tea, waiting for dad. He wasn’t getting back, however, so eventually I did go to the toilet, where I could finally get rid of the excess weight, then showered, and even wrote extended notes about the run before he finally did get back… Exactly when I had finished writing and had finally connected. I heard the key in the door just as I enabled the connection, and he needed to get on-line before leaving again, so I had to disconnect again right away. But he brought cake, so I had some of that before he left, then lunch, followed by dinner. There were plenty of irregular heartbeats again, after the shower, but they eventually stopped while I had dinner, though lunch hadn’t helped. And the right nostril was a little irritated too.