No Title, All Right?
I need to wake up someday and find her next to me, holding me close and telling that it was all just a terribly bad dream. Can’t just keep being certain that it’ll happen for that instant while I’m probably still asleep but aware of waking up, only to realize that I’m still alone and nothing has changed each and every time. Can’t just keep waking up only to either stay in bed or get up just to pace around the room, thinking for hours of might-have-beens.
Anything else, or at least anything bar perhaps an even greater miracle, can’t make much of a difference anymore. Or at least not much of a positive difference, since of course things can always get much worse.
There are things I want to do, things I feel I have to do, countless ideas I need to let out of my head, either to give them a more “real” shape or simply to put them into words and leave them out there… And none of that can ever happen when I’m so crushed by missing her that it truly feels like a physical weight pressing down on me and making it so very hard to even breathe, much less think properly or actually do anything else.
