Would Have Been 11
Another July 12 rolls past, the eighth I spend thinking of what might have been… Not that I don’t do that on most other days as well, but this and September 27 are at another level and at least there’s a clear reason for it, which I guess my mind wanted to make a point of with the terrible dream I had just before waking up.
Meant to try to write something longer, but if I couldn’t do it on other days, how could I hope to do it now? You see that I hardly manage anything on here anymore, and it’s not even because I’m writing more in my story either, as that’s going extremely poorly as well. But I guess it’s surprising that I somehow manage to keep writing at all after close to eight years in a state that makes it seem too much to even keep breathing at times, and probably about five of not even having a reason to want a reason to want to try anything anymore. At the same time, since some certainly manage to turn pain into extraordinary art, it may not have that much to do with that after all.
Otherwise, something’s being done behind the building here yet again, with another small area cleared of plants, apparently to bury some equipment there, and I keep hearing chainsaws. This last part probably has to do with the mayor’s plans, as after a storm he was saying that 1500 trees supposedly need to be cut down in this sector due to being in danger of falling, though he admitted than none of the over 100 trees that actually did fall were on this list, and that the campaign to prune all the others needs to continue. Unfortunately, the problem with this latter part is that the workers obviously believe that grooming a tree means chopping away more than half of its branches, and in some cases nearly all of them, leaving almost stripped trunks behind…
And on yet another note, since this seems to be turning into something of a personal update despite the fact that it feels terribly wrong to mix other issues into something posted on July 12, I ended up being banned from MobyGames a few days ago due to submitting spam and posting insulting forum posts in an attempt to finally get someone to look into my conflict with that moron of an approver that keeps sending so many of my submissions back for idiotic reasons, so I guess that’s yet one more thing I couldn’t do right… The strategy might have been somewhat productive after all, since the matter seems to have at least received some attention now and I was told someone will finally look into it and see who was right and what should be done, but I’m still the one who got banned and I have no idea whether I’ll be allowed back or what this means for all the pending submissions I had.
But this was too much already, especially since it wasn’t strictly on topic, so I’ll stop here and curl in a ball once again. Will probably pull down the blinds again too, as I had just pulled them up when it started raining, but now it stopped and there’s no reason for them to stay up anymore. Can’t put up with bright sunlight and definitely don’t want to see another little patch of Nature being ruined regardless of what day it is, so looking outside will only make a terrible day even worse.
