Cav's Place

After deciding against it last week, I did finally take a break from attending the protests after last Sunday’s march, so I wasn’t among the few who continued to gather around the fountain each evening. Unfortunately for the protests, the vast majority did the same, and that included most of the independent reporters who followed the events so far, not to mention the mainstream media channels who had portrayed them in a more favorable light, so information on what did happen this week was rather hard to come by and I guess I’ll cover these five days in a single section of my next protest update post, probably with one paragraph dedicated to what I heard happened around the fountain and another to the developments on the political scene.
But this is merely a quick personal post, so I’ll leave that aside and say that the problem for me is that I wasn’t able to “recharge my batteries” over these five days. I’m not exhausted anymore, my legs and lower back no longer hurt, my mind stopped being significantly more scattered than usual, and I was able to catch up on some things I had to put off during the first half of the month, but at the same time it struck me even harder that I was out there among people and doing those things all this time and will get back to doing so as of tomorrow, and my mind can’t quite cope with the idea. As a result, I keep being on the edge of a panic attack for several hours per day, my heart is beating particularly erratically, I tend to stay away from many conversations I’d get involved in otherwise and, to move on to an entirely different pressing issue, I definitely have no courage to make that final call regarding changing the antivirus or even to send some messages to ask for some more details, and I absolutely must do that by the end of next week.

I just wanted to put this here now, since I’ll once again be clearly unable to write anything over the weekend. I just pushed forward as long as I could, seeing as the issue is worth the effort and the number of people who attended allowed me to do so, but it was already becoming particularly difficult to continue as of last week and this week “off” didn’t make it any easier. So I’ll be there tomorrow, I’ll definitely be there Sunday, but past that point I have no idea how I’ll still manage to cope, both with participating in the protests and with the other issues that are popping up.