Cav's Place

Last night I somehow thought about writing a post titled “A Perfect Day” (or “Schedule of a Perfect Day”) where I’d have tried to tell how I see a perfect day, what I’d do and what would happen during it, in a few different scenarios. But today certainly took my mind back down from any little fluffy clouds it had been on…

I love her, she loves him, he… That’s the question, isn’t it? I keep saying he believes himself when he says he loves her, but it seems like whenever he does something that could go some way towards proving it he turns around and kicks himself in the ass the next moment. And each time I know how she’ll react in the end, she firmly denies it but then does just what I say, sometimes even sooner than I thought she would. It’s a bit sad to be shocked to rediscover who you are and what you’re going to do in a given situation each time you’re presented with it…
Still, this time he actually managed to anger me and I couldn’t find her share of the blame, and now knowing how she ultimately reacted to it just goes to prove once again that she is capable of true love, which makes it hurt even more that she never felt it for me.

I just wonder… Not if I’ll ever prove what I feel for her, but if I’ll ever feel that I proved it… And especially if she’ll ever really realize exactly how much I love her and that I’ll always be here for her, no matter what and regardless of how much her hurt me and still does.
Are those who know how to truly love forever cursed to learn how it is to be truly hurt forever? Living, yet never again alive?