Cav's Place

I sure am leaving this late, writing this week’s first post Saturday evening, and after having some small issues with my Internet access last night that make me worry I may not be able to post this today and something else, which I hope will be this year’s first “New Finds” post, tomorrow. But I hope I’ll be able to post, and for that I must first write, which is even somewhat more of a problem than it usually is because this week is something of a blur. On the other hand, it should at least make for a shorter post, or so I hope.

This week’s run was Monday, and even remembering that would have been somewhat difficult if I wouldn’t have saved the time that evening, to have the date that page was last modified to check. Either way, the time was 49:10, with sector times of 4:36, 5:14, 5:53, 4:34, 5:08, 6:05, 4:36, 5:12, 6:06 and 1:46, making for lap times of 15:43, 15:47 and 15:54. So I managed what I went out to do, which was a regular time under 50 minutes, without trying for a new record. I did sort of consider trying to get under 49 minutes too, but the times never added up, even the first lap being a bit too slow for that target, so I may have needed just 11 seconds, but I didn’t have them in me; it simply never really seemed possible.

Wednesday I sprayed the mold which had again appeared in this corner of my room where the computer is. Had appeared quite some time ago and was getting quite bad, but I kept waiting before even asking dad to help me move the desk and also those boxes of books still in my room and when I did, last week, he said we’ll have to leave it for this week, and then Wednesday was the day when he could. Will need to do the rest of the room later though, unless I’ll actually do all of it again in case I didn’t spray well enough above the part of the window that’s behind the desk now, because I thought we had more spray left when in fact it was barely enough to allow me to cover this area, and do even that perhaps a bit less thoroughly than I’d have liked.
Either way, after doing what I could I went out, bought a few things, got quite lost while trying to again take the route I took when I accidentally discovered that farmers’ market, ended up quite some way away, tried to use little streets to find it again faster but somehow ended up back where I had been, then went the long way around in order to at least stick to a route I knew, since anything else obviously wasn’t working. That obviously made the whole thing last longer than intended, so I got back later than I meant to and had less time left for the other things I had planned for that day, before putting the desk and the computer back.

Those other things were cleaning the computer a little and looking inside to see whether I had actually connected the DVD drive again after I got the computer back, put together wrong and with the SATA cable which had been used for the DVD drive missing, since the system was never able to detect it again after that, and then finally opening my mouse to see what I could do about the double clicking. However, with the time lost I had given up on the idea of cleaning the computer before starting anything, and then, considering how things went with the mouse, also gave up on the idea of opening it again to have another look, since a first quick look, taken after taking it out of the desk, revealed that everything seemed connected properly… Yet I guess something wasn’t, because even though all I did was push the connectors a little more, not taking any out and putting it back in again and not feeling any actually move farther in under my fingers, after turning the computer back on the system could once again see the DVD drive, which, as I already mentioned, hadn’t happened in eight months.
But the bad news has to do with the mouse, where I was screwed by a screw. I was so worried I’ll open it up, take apart what I have to and break something inside or simply be unable to put it back together properly, but thinking I’ll at least learn what to do next time and perhaps still have the option to have someone replace the broken part, even if at quite some cost. However, what happened was that I was simply unable to open it, one of the screws refusing to move, no matter what I tried, and no matter what dad tried either, after I asked him to help. Worse, after saying the only option was to force it open in that spot and then see about putting it back together in some other way, he started working on it with a small knife and dug a fair amount around that screw even though I had just suggested trying to make a deep cut on the head of the screw in order for a larger simple screwdriver to fit and give us another chance. So, instead of trying that, before giving up he left me with a rough hole in the bottom of the mouse, the edges jutting out and even going a little past the area covered by the skates, so that part of the skates won’t stick back on properly anymore and the mouse sits unevenly on the pad and scratches it, making me uneasy about even moving it much anymore.
Still, while that damage was for nothing, as he was unable to break through, the screw in question is at the back, so I managed to pull the front part apart enough to slip through a matchstick with the end wrapped in a little bit of cotton on which I had dripped a few drops of cooking oil, since that was what I had on hand. Thought it was worth a try, since simply oiling the top of the microswitch is one of the possible solutions offered to this problem, though not what seems to be the proper one or one that fixes the problem for a long time, if it does at all. Yet for the moment it actually seems to have fixed it, so at least the left click seems normal since then, though it does feel different, somewhat sticky, while on the other hand the wheel now feels somewhat loose. Could do nothing about the side button that also sometimes double clicks though, and didn’t oil the right one despite being able to reach it and having noticed a few double clicks from that one as well.
So, in the end, I have the DVD drive back even though I have no idea how, but that was the issue I was least worried about, as proven by the fact that I could just stay without it for eight full months and it didn’t actually bother me. On the other hand, since I was in too bad a state by the time I gave up on the mouse, I didn’t clean the computer, and that will show in terms of the temperatures now that summer is coming. As for the main goal, fixing the mouse, I guess I can say the main problem, the increasingly frequent double left clicks, seems fixed for the moment, but I couldn’t open it and I definitely won’t be able to do so normally in the future, the bottom is damaged in a way that makes it quite a pain to use anymore, and I’m not sure what the fact that the wheel feels somewhat loose may mean.
I guess I’ll need to try to carefully file away the rough edges of that hole, as dad offered to do it or even to take it to those who handle repairs where he works, see if they can do anything about it, but I doubt I’ll be letting him touch it again. Then maybe I’ll try to fill that hole with something as well, and see how well the skate will stick back on in that place under those circumstances and how well it’ll slide after that, when even the raised edge of the area the skate goes in is now broken in a spot. But I really don’t dare to try that, or anything for that matter, right now…

After all of that and going to bed even somewhat later than normal, I woke up early Thursday. The reason I went to bed even later was that I looked through those books, which had temporarily been moved to the other bedroom, in order to select some, and the reason for that, as well as for waking up early, was that one of the large events gathering donations for poor people that are organized by someone every so often was taking place that day. Considering the date, this one was exclusively for children, but it still seemed like a good moment to donate some of those books which had been left here in my room for so long, and despite initially only meaning to select a few, I ended up taking no less than 51 volumes. Should have been 53, since I had two old ones in Romanian in my bookcase that I also meant to give away, but despite having moved them in front earlier, I hadn’t taken them out to put them next to the others Wednesday night and completely forgot about them Thursday morning.
Either way, after figuring out a good way to stuff them in one larger box and one smaller one, it was clear that I had to give up on my plans to just have one small box to carry and walk there, so I had to take the metro. However, first dad said he was also leaving soon and driving to a place that was quite close to the one I had to get to, so he could drive me there if I’ll wait a little longer, and then, after I asked why was he driving if he was going to a place that’s easy to reach by metro, he said he hadn’t even considered it and we ended up going together by metro, and to a stop that was closer to where I had to go, as he insisted that was the better option and will go with me all the way when I said I couldn’t quite figure out how to get from it to where I had to go and didn’t want to risk getting lost while carrying so much. And I didn’t carry anything, as he insisted on carrying the boxes himself all the way to the metro, and to a stop that’s not the nearest one since he didn’t want to have to switch trains, and then also from the stop we got off at to the park where the donations were to be dropped off, only leaving the boxes for me and going on his way when we were just meters away.
Of course, one may wonder why I went in that case, only to use up a trip on a metro card. Was wondering that myself when I got there, and even more so after the fact, when it was clear that I went only to mess things up. I’m sure he’d have asked what to do, telling me later that he assumed there would be people giving directions and likely also some way to register donations, so he’d have at least placed the books in the proper area. I, on the other hand, obviously avoided any interaction, looked around for a little while and eventually dropped the boxes in the area where toys seemed to be and wandered away. Walked back after that, of course, also picking up a couple more things on the way.
The issue is that a very small team of volunteers is handling all of this and they really need all the help they can get, so they ask for things to be brought only at the time and place specified, labeled properly and placed in the right areas, and I obviously didn’t do that last part at least. I mean, the event called for clothes, nonperishable food, toys, school supplies and hygiene products and I had found a comment stating that they’ll accept books as well, so meant to place them next to the school supplies, but spotted nothing of the sort, only seeing a large area for clothes and this other large one for toys, then one for nonperishable food and a spot next to it with some other odds and ends, mainly toilet paper and what seemed to be a few mattresses and pillows. Noticed after the fact, in pictures, that what each area was for had been written with chalk on the pavement, but while there I never even considered looking down for that information, instead checking the signs they had posted in the area for specific information and finding none.

After all of that, woke up early Friday as well, despite being exhausted already. A neighbor was drilling, so I couldn’t have slept longer anyway, but didn’t mean to either, meaning to go out again and then also eat before my mother would come back that evening. So I did that, also getting back to that farmers’ market, without getting lost this time, to buy more apples from the same person, my assumption that I should find her there again on a Friday being proven correct. However, I noticed that she was in the area designated for firms, not individual producers, and she definitely was in the same spot as the week before, so now I have some questions. Still, being registered as a firm doesn’t mean it can’t still be what I mean to support, and having all those cheaper apples, smaller, wrinkled, bruised, even in good part rotten for the cheapest ones, still makes her believable as a small producer, or a representative of a small group of farmers, and helps reduce food waste, as people can purchase products that stores would reject.
Would have liked to shower after coming back and eating, but there was no hot water again. The announcement I found on the site when I checked it after noticing there was none in the morning was that there was a malfunction in the entire area and it should be fixed by 4 PM, yet when I got back I saw that estimate changed to 9 AM today. So I just gave up on that plan and crashed in bed in the evening, getting one of those naps that result from my body pretty much shutting down out of exhaustion, waking up again all too soon to go to the toilet and then having all senses on high alert, so being unable to get back to sleep due to feeling uncomfortable in bed, paying attention to every sound and quickly feeling the need to go to the toilet again, but not quite being able to get up either. As a result, I was feeling even more rotten and disheartened by the time I finally crawled out of bed.

In the end, with my mother away between last Tuesday evening and this Friday evening, I had a fair amount of time alone when dad was out as well but have very little to show for it. I cooked something once, plus just something to eat that day then and one other time, but meant to do more and there was one particular thing I wanted to try to make and didn’t. Other than that and making the salad and eating more during the day, didn’t really do anything I wouldn’t have done with them here in all this time. Didn’t even vacuum in my room, other than just in the area where I was about to spray before doing so on Wednesday, so the dust won’t get wet and become stuck on the floor.
Of course, a good part of the reason for that was simply that I don’t feel like doing anything and see no reason or purpose in it, but another significant part was the fact that I wasn’t really alone, never for even one full day and usually didn’t even have a schedule I could rely on, dad sometimes not offering any and other times leaving and getting back at times that differed significantly from those he had mentioned or left written. So I felt watched, or that I could be watched, even though I know he doesn’t usually even notice what is specifically pointed out to him. I’m too aware of how unreasonably long it takes me to do anything, even how obsessed I am with some things, and feel bad enough about my abilities even without someone else possibly being in a position to notice if I try something and fail before I can at least clean up and maybe get rid of other traces as well. And thinking about it just makes everything take even longer, and it makes me even more obsessed with what little things I feel I can control better, and maybe even more likely to fail, or at least even more worried about it and feeling even worse if it does happen. It’s one reason why I feel even more rotten while eating at night for so long now as well, since he works late from home, sometimes going to bed at almost the same time I do.

So much for this post being shorter. I mean, it actually is significantly shorter than the previous one, but 3100 words instead of 4000 wasn’t what I had in mind when I started it. And even so I guess I missed and forgot some things. But just writing here for myself, if even that, to still post things and maybe also to have details available in case I’ll want to look something up later. So I guess this will have to do, and either way keeping the window open so long seemed to start triggering those CPU warnings after a while, as I got three despite minimizing it while trying to find my words after it started happening. And then, after posting, I noticed I had mmc.exe showing up as still running, I guess after it failed to shut down properly after I opened Event Viewer to see that there was nothing unusual about one of the warnings. Hope nothing messed up due to forcing it to close.