Parts… Of a PC and of Me
I ordered some more parts today and these are the first ones that will arrive, next week. It’ll be frustrating to stare at a hard drive and a case for two weeks, and that’s assuming the other shop will keep their word about the CPU and RAM and that I’ll order and get everything else before then as well, but it was either get them early or risk getting the rest and then waiting for these, since it was the last hard drive of that kind they had in stock and they had to order the case.
The contact person the shop assigned for my order has the same name as the only person I could ever truly call my best friend. Or at least the same first and last names, since my former friend also had a middle name. Despite both her names being very common, and therefore the combination also being common, I actually seriously considered mentioning it in passing since you never know. Made me think of her a lot though, not that I wasn’t already. It’s hard not to when you need such a friend so badly.
Otherwise, I have revised the configuration somewhat and I have a very clear feeling that I’m making a big mistake, but there’s no turning back now and I don’t really feel like writing about it. I’m still only pushing myself to handle this so I’ll be able to tell Andra I did it, and it’s still completely pointless since it seems I won’t be able to tell her anything anymore.
On another note, I wish somebody I really care for, even somebody from my past (actually, preferably somebody from my past, since there’s only one person I really care for that I’m still talking to now), would need me for something I can actually do, something I can fix for them. I need something to fix, something to give a meaning to these days, and myself and my life are beyond repair.
I know that’s not exactly a nice thing to wish for since it implies somebody I care for having problems and being unhappy, but since people have problems and aren’t happy anyway I don’t think it’s wrong to wish they’d at least have some that I could fix for them. They’d have one less problem and I’d feel just a little bit less useless, everybody wins… But what major issue could I help anyone with when I can’t do anything that truly matters?
