Survey
Answering something posted by somebody in a comment on Jen’s blog.
1. What does perfect happiness mean for you?
– A perfect relationship (possibly with more than 2 people involved), WITHOUT kids (mandatory… however, some animals around would add a lot to said happiness). Being able to decide what to do according to what you want and what you like, not according to the job market (and to be able to do this without “friends in high places” or wondering where to get the money needed so you won’t have to “tighten the belt” further than to a reasonable, common sense level). A world with few enough people and good enough technology so you won’t need to meet anybody unless you specifically want to. And knowing that my ideas helped change the world for the better, although very few know they were mine (I wouldn’t want personal fame).
2. What makes you (still) get out of bed in the morning?
– The hope that I’ll be with Andra once again someday.
3. When’s the last time you burst out laughing?
– Been a few months…
4. When’s the last time you cried?
– Really cried, last time I saw Andra, I can’t cry when alone. “Whimper”… Now, whenever a question makes me think of her…
5. What’s your main personality trait?
– Idealism? Probably others could answer this better about me…
6. What’s your main flaw?
– Shyness? Low self-esteem? Stubbornness? No clue, several…
7. What character would you best identify yourself with?
– No idea… Others should probably say who they identify me with.
8. Who are your heroes presently?
– I have none… Each person offers some ideas and examples, if somebody would pay attention to them. What truly matters is to assimilate as much as you can, analyze as many options as possible, and make the decisions that seem best to you, as long as you harm none in the process (unless that’s necessary to prevent a greater harm or as just revenge).
9. Who is your favorite fictional character?
– Heh… The only one I can think of is Lestat…
10. Where would you like to travel to?
– I don’t really like travelling. If need be, I decide according to how nature shaped the place, the smaller the human influence (and presence) is, the better.
11. What quality do you prefer in a man?
– I don’t really get along with men at all, so… To listen to their soul first, their mind second, and their instincts last. To be less harsh, less superficial, care more for those around them and get more involved in long-term plans. Lots to say.
12. What quality do you prefer in a woman?
– What I said for men, just replace “less harsh” with “more open towards sex (at least as a topic for conversation)”.
13. Who are your favorite authors?
– Tolkien, Anne Rice, Modesitt…
14. Who’s your favorite composer?
– Uh… Don’t have any?
15. What song do you sing in the shower?
– None…
16. What book do you love the most?
– I don’t “love” books… But probably LotR.
17. What is your favorite movie?
– LotR, no doubt about it.
18. Who’s your favorite painter?
– Uh… If Luis Royo and Boris Vallejo fall into that category then them. If we’re talking about “classics”, none.
19. What is your favorite drink?
– I don’t drink alcohol (except perhaps 1-2 glasses of champagne (bubbly wine, whatever) on New Year’s). Even soft drinks (Coke, Pepsi Twist, berry or grape Fanta, Sprite) I drink very rarely lately.
20. What’s your favorite color?
– Blue (and white, but that’s not a color).
21. What do your think is your greatest achievement?
– What do you think? My relationship with Andra, such as it was… There could be nothing greater until I’ll somehow manage to be with her again.
22. What is your worst regret?
– Isn’t it obvious? That I couldn’t find a way to make Andra not want to break up with me…
23. What talent would you have liked to have?
– To be able to explain what I think in a way everybody could follow. Sucks when I can’t put my thoughts into words. And sometimes when I can, if I try to explain, all I do is confuse the listener even more (or make them lose interest).
24. What do you love most in the world?
– If you’d have asked who then the answer would have been obvious. As it is… I only love living beings. If we’re talking about things, activities or ideals, I can like them or support them, but that word is “reserved”. What I like the most (excluding anything that could be filed under “spending time with Andra”, before…): thinking (of new ways of living, a new “world order”, large scale plans), daydreaming, debates (even when they get very heated), reading (fantasy and some SF) and anything related to computers.
25. If you could change one thing about your looks, what would it be?
– Healthy hair on my head, to be able to keep it (relatively) long, as opposed to balding from forehead to the top of my head.
26. What do you despise the most?
– The current “world order”, the way people treat Earth and each other, lies (and hiding or bending the truth, same thing), break-ups for any but the most extreme of reasons.
27. What is your favorite thing to do?
– Searching for new concepts that would make the world a better place for all (and I’m not talking just about people). Otherwise, something related to nature most likely.
28. What is your greatest fear?
– That Andra would leave me? Already happened. That I really will never be with her again and won’t even have the strength to kill myself and will only be considered alive because I breathe and my heart is beating? That’s probably it now. Otherwise, school (long story, if you don’t know it you won’t learn it from me so don’t ask), doctors… And any contact, except talking on-line, with anybody I don’t feel VERY close to.
29. In what circumstances do you usually lie?
– Only to people with authority (police, bosses, teachers, parents – authority over the person I’d be lying about, of course, not over me if I’m not the one involved) who could impose undeserved sanctions (on myself or others). And even then I prefer to tell the truth and then try to explain (or fight against the rules being broken, if they were broken intentionally and I think they’re unjust). Either way, I’m really bad at lying and don’t do it under any circumstances except those explained above.
30. What is your motto?
– If I’m to try to word it, I’ll pick on my signature and say something like “That we’re only human is no excuse. If you notice the limitations of this status, try to evolve into something better! And when you run out of possible solutions, try the impossible.”
31. How would you rather die?
– I assume the first choice is obvious, having sex, right after orgasm. But only if she’d also die at the same time, don’t want her to be in shock because I died on/under/alongside her. Otherwise (and since the first option is no longer available), saving somebody… Somebody worthy of being saved.
32. What would you like your epitaph to be?
– Hm, something along the lines of “His name might mean nothing to you, but his ideas changed the world.”
33. If you’d meet God, what would you want Him to tell you?
– Me personally, why am I still alive. But He’d do well to somehow get the whole world’s attention, offer a full personality profile and explain what the correct religion should be like. Would solve a lot of problems.
I’d probably write a lot more for many of them, but… Some other time.
