Cav's Place

It rained this evening. Heavily, but without wind. I like rain, but it brings back memories. Then again, what doesn’t? And what would be left without memories?
It was nice, a lot of lights turned off in the buildings around here, some people standing in front of their windows and looking out just as I was. Only I gave up standing after a while and perched on something in front of the window. At least now I know it’s been fixed back in place properly. Wasn’t exactly comfortable, but the rain and my thoughts took me too far away to notice.
Thoughts… One particular rainy day. She was here and we were talking about the rain, both saying we like it but she liked to be out in it and I just liked to watch it from inside. Now I find myself yearning to be out in the rain sometimes. This might be a very bad example, but I feel I have caught up with who she was then in a few ways now. Only now she’s completely different, and it’d no longer matter even if she weren’t. The only chance I ever had at a life slipped away from me a long time ago…
I need to hold her so badly. Look into her eyes and just know none of this matters anymore. In dreams things are better, if only for a little while, but even good dreams are few and far between. There used to be a time when I never wanted to wake up because we were still together in my dreams. But reality has long since seeped through the veil of dreams as well…
Other thoughts… How a single bolt of lightning can turn night into day, even if for just a moment. How immensely powerful the planet is, and yet how we are destroying it. Billions and billions of us, working tirelessly at it for so long, some willingly, others without knowing or caring, and yet others simply because they see no other way. Why? Just… Why?