This Seems a Bit Strange
You want to be emotionally intimate with others, but you find that others are reluctant to get as close as you would like. You don’t have very high self-esteem, which leaves you with a bit of a tendency to grovel. You’re ever so grateful when someone notices you, but you’ll leave when you sense you’re not wanted. You like other people more than you like yourself, but if someone takes advantage of you, you’ll leave eventually.
For a test that has obviously received a lot of attention from its author, it’s strangely inaccurate. How can it say I avoid intimacy? And this is actually the lowest I can get that rating without lying directly, because if I weren’t to adjust my answers slightly according to how it works (as opposed to what it actually asks) I’d get The Doormat (“You are uncomfortable getting close to others. You want emotionally close relationships, but you find it difficult to trust others completely. You don’t believe you deserve very much, so you don’t try very hard to win favor. You prefer to lie there until someone comes along to walk all over you. It’s okay. You’re used to being stepped on.”) and, while the second part of that description is reasonably true, saying that I’m uncomfortable getting close to others and have difficulty trusting them completely is absolutely wrong.
I’m quite sure I should have scored The Cling Wrap (“You want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but you often find that others are reluctant to get as close as you would like. You are uncomfortable being without close relationships, but you sometimes worry that others don’t value you as much as you value them. You tend to follow people around, trying to make them like you by doing nice things for them. Unfortunately, this tactic tends to make people uncomfortable.”), or at least that’s how I see myself (except the part where it says I try to make people like me by doing nice things for them, why would you need a reason to do something nice for a friend?) and wish a lot more people would be like that as well… Or at least those I am or might want to become close to, so I’ll stop feeling stonewalled all the time.
But I guess it’s a reasonable compromise, as there’s no way I could get that “avoidance” rating that low (below 15%) without lying through my teeth. An easier way would be to get both my ratings slightly lower, but that would once again be lying because while I wasn’t too afraid of being abandoned before Andra left, I certainly am now. Why doesn’t it split friends from family and people you’re close to from people in general I don’t know, because the way I view and treat those groups are almost opposite so putting them together will obviously cause strange results. Quite a pity, considering all the effort put into it…
