Cav's Place

That’s how I’m feeling… I really don’t feel like doing anything, it’s just so pointless… Need to stay obsessed with something in order to be able to do anything, the moment something happens to lower my interest in my current obsession I drop right back to that familiar place where all I want to do is curl up into a ball and never wake up again.
Was quite surprised to notice that I didn’t feel especially bad on the 25th, three years since she kicked me out of the room, but I assume a lot of effort was required for that, effort I wasn’t really aware of making. Felt bad enough on the 24th, knowing that day would come, and then again afterwards. And the US Open is a very sharp reminder of that time each year…

As for the obsessions that barely keep me afloat (though I doubt that’s the proper term)…
Last week it was Civilization IV. Wanted to play it properly now, after struggling with it on my old computer, waiting for up to 20 minutes for one turn to complete at the end despite running it with minimum settings. I see Sid Meier‘s games as a challenge, I have to win once and then be done with it, but this time I tried it again to see what the game really has to offer while running on a computer that supports it properly. So I won it, built the spaceship in 1914. Rather low difficulty, warlord (level three out of nine), but I’m not about to try harder ones, I want to be able to win by playing fair. The game speed was “marathon”, of course. Low score, 4515 “normalized”, said my place in history was that of Warren G. Harding. Third from the bottom, so it could have been worse. The first time I won, by the same method, sometime around 1985, I think it told me I was Ethelred the Unready, second from the bottom. I guess that’s what you get for playing fair, no wars except defensive ones, working with the environment instead of destroying it and so on.
As for now, I’m playing The Bard’s Tale. It’s wickedly fun! Or at least it would be if they would have allowed free saves in the PC version instead of keeping the save point concept from the console versions, because some areas can be quite difficult… Still, this is one game that will make you laugh out loud and for that it’s certainly worth playing. Rather sad that it seems to have been released and then forgotten… It also officially doesn’t work under Vista, but if you set XP compatibility mode for both the installer and the actual game it seems to do just fine, excepting some minor glitches when it comes to movies.
As a side note, I’m also losing myself a lot in a certain song these days. It’s been a while since I had something on repeat for so long… That kind of mood again, I guess…