Not a Bad Week, All Told…
I was initially planning to write yesterday’s post on Monday and a second one on Thursday or Friday, so I could do this month’s computer “maintenance” work right away afterwards. That didn’t quite work out, but it’s pretty much the only thing that failed to work out this week, while a few others went quite significantly better than expected.
I meant to write a post on Monday because I knew I was going to be alone between Tuesday morning and Thursday afternoon, so it was unlikely that I’d feel like sitting down to write a serious post while having full freedom of movement around the house. And that was completely true, but instead I ended up going shopping on Tuesday, which was one of the things that turned out much better than expected.
I knew for the past few months that I was going to need some things and initially meant to try to buy them myself at the start of April, but I noticed I wasn’t going to completely run out before May, so I delayed the attempt. And right now, since I was alone, I thought I could try to get a little food as well, despite the breakdown that followed when I last bought something that counted as food. But I not only managed to buy everything I meant to, but also two items I had been needing for years and never saw when I went shopping before. And I also recharged my cell phone card, which required actual interaction with someone and I’m still unsure how I managed that. I mean, I toyed with the idea and tried to prepare for it for weeks, but certainly didn’t think I’d manage.
Otherwise, the time spent alone was nice, especially since there was quite a lot of it lately. It also helped me regain just a tiny shred of confidence that I could perhaps just manage to survive by myself at some point. Not that it seems possible to end up no longer living with my parents, no matter how much I’d wish it, or that I’d have anyone in mind that I could live with, as living alone for an extended amount of time is something I certainly have no desire to try at any point… But it’s been quite some time since I was alone for over a day and an even longer time since I did much of anything while alone, so I was even more insecure than usual. But these days went really well, which once again made me confident that I’d manage quite all right as long as no problems would arise that’d require contacting another person in order to solve.
The very surprising part, even for me, was that I ended up waiting for dad with food on the table when he got back on Thursday. I certainly meant to sit quietly in my room once he sent me a message saying he’ll be back soon, but found myself trying to quickly fix myself something more to eat, which quickly turned into me fixing a lunch like all the others I fixed myself while alone… And then, when it became obvious that I wasn’t going to finish before he got back, I decided to also make some eggs like I usually make them and give him a taste as well, just to prove to him that you don’t need to fry everything in lots of cooking oil. The resulting time spent together was pretty awkward, at least for me, so I’m sure it was a bad choice, but I guess I was feeling good enough after the time spent alone to “afford” something like this. Not intending to “interact” again anytime soon, however, so now I really wish they’d act as if I’m not here and stop greeting me whenever I need to get out of my room to go to the bathroom!
About the health concerns… Monday night I was thinking that something must be seriously wrong with me and just making it far worse by worrying about the worst possible scenarios, as I always do whenever I think there is a health problem, but by the time I got back after Tuesday’s “adventure” I was too shocked to notice any such problems anymore, which resulted in me feeling a whole lot better as well. It’s still obvious that something’s likely wrong, and probably not something very minor, but for the moment I’m once again relatively able to ignore it most of the time. Still, I should at least get that tooth filling replaced, as I still haven’t done that and it’s something I could do, as I highly doubt any potential treatment for any of the other problems would be even partially acceptable for me, even if I knew exactly what they were.
As for the gaming front, I somehow finally managed to get the story moving on Gothic II Gold, despite how difficult the game is with the expansion installed. At least I already got much further than I did on any of my previous attempts at playing it, so there may even be some hope of finishing it someday. But I still don’t have the slightest clue how could I possibly make a character that won’t be insanely weak at every point of the game, considering how extremely restrictive the character development becomes with the expansion installed… The atmosphere of this game is so great that it’d really benefit from being very easy, so you could just enjoy it instead of struggling to beat it every single moment, but apparently the developers didn’t agree with that idea at all…
I dread to even read this post now, as my mind was all over the place and I’m sure it ended up even worse that my posts, even most personal ones, usually end up… But at least it’s written and I now can move on to that “maintenance” I mentioned at the beginning. Though the plan is most likely to start late tonight, not right now, and finish tomorrow. Until then, maybe I’ll manage to play a little more…
