Cav's Place

I really didn’t mean to write such things when I started this blog, but I certainly don’t seem able to write much else… Or think of much else… And if that’s the general rule, imagine how things stand today. It’s after midnight, so it’s today…
This feels so wrong, their reasons to celebrate being mine to be even more depressed than usual. Makes me feel even worse, if that’s even possible.
No idea why I’m putting this here. No idea why I wrote it in an e-mail last night either… No, not to her. Certainly thought about sending her something, but realized I couldn’t write something cheerful, plus that it’d mean not checking my mail afterwards, seeing as I couldn’t handle a potential reply. Not that one would be likely, and not like I knew what not being able to handle it means, but still…
Sitting here for the past 30 minutes to write this… Wondering if I’ll manage to stand long enough today to go out and see if I’ll get hit by a car or something…
Happy anniversary to you two… Hopefully neither is reading this and nobody who does is telling them, but just to let it out…