Wonder If She’s Still Alive
Elena P. should have turned 30 exactly one week ago and, as I remember all too well when we were talking about her health problems and she said she knows all too well what she’ll die of and would therefore rather live her life as she wants to and die at 30 instead of doing what her doctor wants and just struggle along until 50, I have to wonder whether she’s still alive… This, of course, comes on top of generally wondering how she is.
I just did a search and it seems I only mentioned her a few times on this blog, the first being only about a year and a half ago. I did find myself thinking of her more frequently since around that time, so it makes sense to mention her since then, but I’m quite surprised that I never did before. Whether she really was the only best friend I ever had or just pretended to be my friend far better than anyone else ever did, she remains the second most important person that ever was in my life, despite vanishing after so little time, so I should perhaps post that story in full someday as well.
Until then… I’m thinking of you and wish you all the best, wherever you are. And thank you for those two months, nine years ago. Mainly if it was real, but perhaps even if it wasn’t. The real help you offered during those two months was likely negated by the suffering caused afterwards, but since I didn’t actually fall in love with you I’m left mainly with fond memories instead of heartache. Perhaps more importantly, I’m left with a clear representation of what I want, and likely what I need, from a best friend and with the hope that someday I may find someone to have something like that with again.
