Cav's Place

With all the things going on in the world these days, most notably the Egyptian riots, I should be writing something about such issues. But I can hardly keep any track of them and perhaps post a few links here and there, so I won’t. I hope I’ll manage something next week, though there simply seem to be far too many good fights to fight in this doomed world we have created for ourselves. For now, I’ll just say that it’s a good thing that at least some people are starting to do something about a small number of them and leave it at that…

What I’m going to say is that all I could think about yesterday when I woke up was how much I wanted to take a long walk through the snow, before it’ll melt, with her, till we’ll both be all red and frozen. Proper winter days, with a decent amount of snow on the ground and temperatures below freezing, are the only moments when I actually want to go out, so I’d really like to take advantage of this… But it feels so pointless to go out alone, so I end up wasting the opportunity. Not that there’s much of an opportunity, since I’m alone, as I said…
Either way, that train of thought continued with us making it back in that state, then immediately having a quickie after only throwing our jackets off, unbuttoning or unzipping our pants and moving the underwear out of the way, to warm up a little. Which is something that basically never happened and I’m not even sure I’d actually want it if it was a possibility, but it seemed like the proper way to continue that little scenario. Yet that was only a small interlude, as then we’d go to our room, throw all clothes off, pick up towels and books and go take a bath. Or, more exactly, go soak in warm water while reading for a while, which is what usually happened when we took a bath together and would feel even better after such a walk. Then at some point I’d start playing with her, as it happened whenever she didn’t stop me, and we’d end up doing something, coming out of there perhaps a couple of hours later, clean, satisfied and perhaps a little tired. And each with probably another chapter or two read as well.
Needless to say, that little scenario was still in my mind when I woke up today as well, along with the associated sadness that it’s just a scenario in my mind and impossible in reality for well over five years now. In fact, what made it worse was that I somehow came out of a dream convinced that she was next to me and all I had to do was reach over and hug her, making it even worse when I realized that was just a dream. Been quite some time since the last time that happened. So I’m just moping around and feeling like shit, as always… Only even more so…