Cav's Place

The world’s human population is supposed to hit seven billion tomorrow. But that’s what I will write about in the next post, this one being only a brief personal rant about my last week before we reach such a terrible milestone… And the first full week after actually being put on ignore.
In truth, I’m slightly suprised that I can still write anything at all, but the things that took place this week certainly have nearly all the merit for that. Unfortunately, they’re also one more reason why it’ll become even harder to write here. Under these circumstances, I’m dreading to even think of tomorrow.

First I found myself talking to Susana again, which was nice. Or, all right, it also was very frustrating, but still nice. Granted that it didn’t start this week, but it continued during it and at least, unlike everyone else, she doesn’t and quite clearly won’t tell me to get over it, though there keep seeming to be misunderstandings of all sorts. But that was to be expected, seeing as we have similar issues and seem to have taken similar amounts of shit from people so far.
Then, as of a few days ago, I also found myself talking to some other girl which I had bumped into on OkCupid at least several months ago, possibly a whole year. We just exchanged a couple of messages then and left it at that, but she has way more questions answered than me and I kept checking out her answers to answer more myself, so at some point I sent her a message about going past a certain number of questions and found that she only now replied, likely a couple of months or so after my original message. And also found that, as it was already quite clear from her profile, we do agree on lots of things and could have plenty to talk about, so at first I actually spent several hours per day exchanging messages with her.

The thing is that during such talks I tend to just think that I need Andra, want to cuddle and other such things perhaps even more than usual and tend to either just talk about that or start babbling about whatever else could possibly be on my mind at the time, sometimes just to avoid spelling out all that all over again. Now that may not happen if the other person would be pouring her heart out as well in such a way that I couldn’t stop her even if I wanted to, which is often the kind of discussion I want to have anyway, but it hardly ever happens like that. Which leaves me sort of alternating between curling in a ball, hugging myself and writing such messages around the replies given to the ones received from them until, if they don’t go away first, I either really need to curl up in a ball and therefore can’t keep on writing or I become even more interested in whatever it was that I was babbling about and excuse myself to go do something about it.
And that’s what I’ll be doing after I finish writing this as well, because what caught my attention this time was Tropico 3, which I installed after I finished and reviewed Risen. Been struggling with it for the past couple of days, so I’ll try to make the most of it before adding up the failures and concluding that I’m even more worthless than I thought… Or, who knows, it may just become the second proper game I’ll play and finish this year, though at this point that seems highly unlikely.