Cav's Place

Since the event I was relying on for a quick post today, or more exactly the part of it that I was interested in, was postponed, I guess it’s time for another really rushed addition to this series. I haven’t checked any group in quite some time, and now I’m even less likely to check groups at all because Facebook yet again changed the design for the worse and I no longer have a sidebar at all on my lists, so I’m not normally reminded of groups, and the number of new posts in groups doesn’t seem to show up at all anymore, so I don’t know the amount of activity I should be prepared to go through and whether I’ll have the time and the state of mind to do so even if I specifically want to check them. But going through that differently ordered version of my list fortunately led me relatively quickly to a few more recent releases I hadn’t been aware of, so I’ll use those for this post.

I’ll start with Aeranea, who recently released an album that also seems to have a message to send. And, despite rushing, I did listen to two other songs from it, but since Your Idols Awaken is the only one that’s posted on their official YouTube channel, I’ll go with that as the first pick. And Prayers Die will be the second one, out of their older songs. Seeing as they seem to have been added on my list quite a number of years ago, it seems likely that this song is the one that made me put them there, and as I just went through them quickly, I was even tempted to say that I still prefer it over any of the others that they posted officially. But there are good elements in the others as well, and listening again might change my opinion.

Next comes a solo project, that of Lindsay Schoolcraft. If I wouldn’t have been rushing to post this today, I likely wouldn’t have included her now, because it seems that she’s days away from releasing new material. But there are other songs that are recent enough, and I’ll go with Worlds Away as the first pick, while the second, out of the slightly older ones, is Where I Fall. The songs I listened to can differ a fair bit, others having a heavier sound and even featuring male growlers, and since I just listened to what’s posted on the official YouTube channel, as I usually do when it comes to such quick posts, I have no idea which kind dominates, if any. But these picks aren’t supposed to be representative in any way, after all, but just some selections according strictly to my own preferences out of the songs I happened to listen to, and these definitely fit that “requirement” and are better than many others I included in such posts.

Getting back to bands, I’ll finish this post with The Fall of Eve, and the quick pick from their recent album is Stay with Me. As for the second pick, I’ll go with If Even Angels Fall, which I remembered almost as soon as I started listening to it now, though I’m quite sure it’s been quite a long time since I last did so. Actually, it was the fact that I remembered this one so well that made the difference, as there were a couple of others I was considering as well, and the first pick could have also been either of the two from their recent album that they posted on their official YouTube channel, so they have quite a number of good songs, at least in my view.

The day spent at the hospital was July 5, but in order to at least finally post something to cover the period between the previous somewhat more general personal post, which goes up to June 20, and that day I only really have to get to the end of June, as the only thing I feel I should mention about July’s first days is that on July 1 I asked for and received Dragon Age: Origins – Ultimate Edition from The Community Giveaway on the GOG.com forums. The key was again one of a huge list donated by that same user who donates so much, on top of his own occasional giveaways that are huge and outstanding in many other ways, and in order to make room for this one I finally got rid of most of the installers for the games I’m not interested in, just keeping a few I found myself not being entirely certain I’ll never care to at least try when I thought about it again, despite having labeled them as such.

To get back to the beginning of the period covered by this post, on the morning of June 21 I got in bed at 5:20 AM, but sure caught up on sleep, waking up the last time at 3 PM, without getting up before then, and finally got up at 3:30 PM. And at night I ate the first part of dinner in the kitchen a bit before 3 AM, though I only continued in my room at 3:30 AM, and hadn’t had lunch before. But as I was making dinner the microwave refused to start again after working once, so I kept trying, turned the plate a bit, moved it, shook the microwave a little, and eventually I heard the click I usually hear seconds after it stops and it worked again, though the issue was certainly worrying. And, of course, since hotter temperatures had arrived, it had started “raining” in the fridge again for some time.

Being worried about the microwave and fridge made it hard to fall asleep after I got in bed then, again at 5:20 AM, and I soon got up, when dad came from work, went to pee after a while, then kept tossing and turning, over an hour later went to pee again, and if I napped at all during that time it was for mere minutes. Then they started mowing weeds outside and that made it even harder to sleep, I went to pee one more time at one point, after napping a bit, and managed to nap a little more after that, but if you add it all up I didn’t get much sleep until I got up at 2:15 PM. The alarm had been set to ring at 2:30 PM, but I was awake for a little while at that point, heard dad go to the bathroom, checked the time and got up. Then I had the usual stuff plus almonds, with a slice of cozonac with added jam as the sweet thing, but wore shorts and a regular t-shirt, since the running t-shirt and tights were in the laundry basket. Left at 4:45 PM, when the reported temperature was 30°C, supposed to drop by probably 1-2°C by the time I’ll finish.
The time was 51:51.60, with sector times of 4:32, 5:24, 6:16, 4:48, 5:26, 6:25, 4:52, 5:35, 6:32 and 2:01.07, making for lap times of 16:12, 16:39 and 16:59. There was no point in trying to memorize the exact times when they were so bad, so I didn’t. Realized from the start that the only realistic target was 52 minutes, though after lap two I was hoping for 51:45 and, though I barely struggled up the stairs at the end and that final sector time was just awful, that might have been possible if I wouldn’t have first thought that my keys were slipping towards the end of sector three of lap two, as if the pocket got torn, which is actually likely when it comes to those shorts, and then if my stopwatch wouldn’t have fallen, the strap finally snapping completely, towards the end of sector two of lap three. The issue with the keys meant that I first tried to figure out whether they were still in the pocket or had slipped through some hole, so I won’t push them out completely or make it even harder to retrieve them, and then fished them out and held them in hand from then on, but I had already started lap three by then, so it took a little while and caused me to lose some time. As for the stopwatch, it just suddenly fell off, so I had to pick it up, which obviously cost me a few seconds, check that it still worked and hold it in hand from then on as well.
Otherwise, it was hot when it was sunny and I sure was drenched in sweat by the end. There were a couple of windy areas on the first lap, but that was it with the wind, and there were also some clouds towards the end of lap two and early on lap three, which helped. As for people, a girl stopped and turned in front of me on the first sector, so I had to sidestep, while on the next sector there were multiple issues. I had to briefly stop when a roadblock formed in front of me, and again when a little girl came running from the side, I thought she’ll keep running and I’ll pass behind her, but she noticed me coming and froze right in front of me, so I had to avoid her. And silly dances made me slow twice more after that. But that bad sector wasn’t a sign of things to come, because people didn’t cause any more notable issues after that, just making me weave or go the long way around at times.

Left again a little after 7:15 PM, first going to Tei, strangely seeing quite a long line for the stuff you can get yourself and none for the other side. But it moved quickly, I grabbed the toothpaste for myself and something dad had been looking for and was back out at 7:50 PM. Then I went to Kaufland, not seeing any evening discounts for bakery products, but there were such discounts for some vegetables, so I grabbed four bundles of green onions and the stuff I was looking for, with the exception of the cat litter, since I couldn’t find the regular one. The self-checkout wouldn’t let me complete the purchase, however, telling me to wait for an employee, and when I called her she said it was because I had beer. The kind I had was alcohol-free, my mother having asked for some, but when I pointed that out the employee said there’s no such thing as completely alcohol-free beer, it’s still made with yeast, so it has a very tiny amount. But at least she didn’t ask for an ID, since I hadn’t taken mine… Either way, once that was over with I saw that the total was the price of a bundle of green onions less than what I had calculated, and I wondered whether I had entered three instead of four, but then I saw on the receipt that the three for the price of two deal that I had seen in the catalog but had forgotten about applied on top of the huge evening discount, so I ended up getting four for the price of three… Should have taken three or six, if I’d have remembered that…
After needing several tries to open the cabinet door and retrieve my earlier purchases, I also went to Carrefour, immediately running into another issue with the cabinets, since those still require a 0.50 RON coin and I had none, nor even a 1 RON bill. So I asked at the information desk for change from a 5 RON bill, but while the employee said she couldn’t do that, she instead just gave me a coin and simply asked me to give it back once I was done, which I obviously did. And I just got some garlic and a little ice cream from there, then walked back, seeing lightning and hearing distant thunder, but I was more than halfway here when the wind also picked up and some drops started to fall, and the weather didn’t get worse until after I got back, a little after 9:50 PM.

Had a particularly late lunch that evening, and ate most of it while playing Fantasy General, so it was 1:15 AM when I finished, only going to shower after that and returning to the kitchen at 1:45 AM, where I first had to wash some things, including a pot. Started eating dinner at 3:40 AM, finished at 5:10 AM, got in bed at 5:30 AM, and again slept badly, weeds continuing to be cut outside, that neighbor also drilling again, briefly but several times, and seeming to drop some things as well… And then, even though dad was away until evening and started his vacation, so he wasn’t going to leave at night for quite some time, instead of catching up on things on-line I cleaned my room a little. Had lunch late again, but nothing like the previous evening, finishing before 11 PM, and while I thought I’ll manage to start eating dinner by 3 AM, I still didn’t, starting at 3:05 AM.

The following day, June 24, was when I planned to replace the stopwatch, the strap not being removable, and I actually saw slightly lower prices when I checked the site. So I left at 2:25 PM, got to that mall from Obor, quickly checked a bookstore, then bought a new stopwatch. Had to go with the dark blue one though, since I couldn’t find any lighter one, even if one model was listed as in stock even when I checked on one of the screens, which said seven pieces were available at that location. Had a good look at a theoretically better model as well, turning it on and leaving it on since if there’s a way to turn it back off I couldn’t figure out how, but that one shows interval times in a way that’s not useful for me. Or at least it does so by default, since I didn’t take out the instructions to read them or try to dig through settings enough to see whether there was one that changed that. So I just got that model, which is simply the current version of the one I had, the notable and very important difference being that, while it could still be much better from this point of view, the screen actually lights up when the light button is pressed, while the old one just made the digits fluorescent, which didn’t really help. Either way, the price I saw when I checked the screen, and was asked for at checkout, was the regular one, so I mentioned that the site listed a lower one when I left and the cashier checked on her phone and showed me that the regular price was listed on the site then as well, saying that they don’t change prices over the course of a day, so it might have been an error, which indeed seemed to be the case, since I checked again when I got back and saw the regular price on the product page, but that lower one in the list showing up while searching.
After that, also went to that Carrefour, just getting bread for dad and the single egg out of the remaining cheap ones that didn’t have code three on it and wasn’t cracked. There were multiple prices listed for that bread though, and one of the kinds didn’t scan, so I couldn’t check it, but the cashier typed in the code and the price was the lower one out of those listed, so it was fine. And then I also checked that market, still looking for eggs, recalling having previously seen a place that sold some with code two at a good enough price, but that place was closed, and in fact many of the stores were closed, so I couldn’t find any.
Got back at 5:50 PM… And soon was again arguing with dad over the electricity contract. I had seen the name of one of the contract options written on the invoice, but that was a more expensive one, so I asked him what that was about and he said he wrote down what he heard when he went to pay, and when I said that option was more expensive than others he said that was the first time he heard anything about multiple options existing, even though I had written him that e-mail with all the details and had also mentioned it after that, even a day or two before, when I told him that the cheapest contract option for this company he insists on staying with wasn’t among those listed in the offer they had sent along with the invoice. But he latched on to the e-mail, saying that writing doesn’t count for him, I must tell him, and very clearly and insistently, completely dismissing the fact that I had also mentioned it to him as irrelevant. I said I can’t do that, he said he called them, just saying he wanted a contract, and received an e-mail with a link, with no information, and I reminded him that I had offered him links to start the procedure, also including the necessary information, in that e-mail. But, of course, instead of making him realize how wrong he was, that just led to things escalating further. There was shouting, he insisted that I must talk, I insisted I can’t, and definitely not the way he wants me to, so I spent hours researching and writing instead, he said that’s zero help, as help would mean doing things the way he can do them, I said I guess only what he can do matters, what I can’t doesn’t, and again asked what else was my fault, he said he didn’t say it was my fault, I wondered what the fuck did he just say in that case, slammed some things and ran back to my room.
Not wanting to stay here, I got dressed again and went back out just after 7:05 PM. Dad had asked me to get the last bag of spinach out of the freezer and there was a sale at Penny, so before the shouting match I had asked him about getting some, and also about checking another Carrefour for eggs, so I went to the mall this other Carrefour’s in, but first checked two bookstores, seeing a 25% discount for books in English in one, and also a sports store, for shoes, actually seeing both models I had been considering in the “last chance” sales, both actually being in my size, the prices not being as good as I’d have hoped but nevertheless being at the high end of what might be acceptable, though I obviously didn’t have that kind of money on me at the time. Then I went to Carrefour, but there was nothing to get from there, so I then checked Kaufland as well and saw an unannounced discount for onions, evening discounts for some bakery products, though very few were left at that hour, also happened to see salt and finally remembered wanting to get some from Carrefour that day and forgetting both times, and the price was exactly the same, and in the end I decided to also add two large apples. Then I also went to Penny, getting cucumbers, since dad had bought a few at a much higher price again, and that frozen spinach. There was nobody manning the checkouts when I got there, the guard telling me to wait a bit, and then, after retrieving the other purchases from the cabinet and arranging them in my bags, I tried to walk out and the door wouldn’t open. I guess I was trying to walk out through the wrong one, possibly closed at that point because it was close to closing time, and other people were trying to tell me something, but I had turned the music back on and only realized that the other door was open after finally noticing their gestures.
Was back again just after 10:20 PM, didn’t exchange as much as a word with dad, had a late lunch, finished at 12:15 AM, and only got back to the kitchen at 1:25 AM. Even then, first spent half an hour slicing the two unsliced breads bought for dad, bagging them again and putting them in the freezer, and at least as long washing the pile left in the kitchen, just doing my part. Only started eating dinner at 3:35 AM, and got in bed at 5:35 AM. In between, I saw that pair of GT-1000 on the store’s site for much less than the label indicated, so I reserved it, intending to go back for it the next day… Or that day, considering the time.

Still without a single word exchanged with dad until then, on June 25 I left at 7:25 PM. I had no reply from the store by that time, so I just went there, found the shoes still in the “last chance” pile, tried them and the GT-2000 on, then asked an employee to confirm the prices for both. Since he did, I then showed him the picture of my reservation request for the GT-1000, with the 35% lower price, and he said that in that case they’ll honor that price, asking me to meet him at checkout. When he got back to me, however, he said I had been denied the reservation, which I also saw after getting back, the e-mail being sent while I was on the way, because that pair isn’t actually a pair, one being size 42 and the other 42.5. He said he might offer an even lower price if I’d take them that way, but I refused and asked if they couldn’t find the other 42 somewhere, and he said no and that somebody probably left them like that. So I had another look myself as he put them back there, then left with nothing. Interestingly, when I checked again that night, I saw that “pair” of GT-1000, supposedly size 42, once again being listed as available, so I sent an e-mail asking what that was about, whether they found the correct pair or are just hoping the next person won’t care, also adding that I wanted to thank that employee for pointing it out to me when I hadn’t noticed. Though it was a long shot, I also mentioned that if some additional discount could be applied to GT-2000 I’d but those instead, but there was no reply of any kind… And both models, in size 42, are still listed as available at that location even now.
Getting back to that evening, after leaving that store I went to Carrefour, finally finding expiring eggs and also grabbing an expiring yogurt for my grandmother before also going to Kaufland and getting some things from there as well, though I still couldn’t find cat litter. The self-checkout again told me to scan the product first after I selected both green onions and radishes, because I had just placed the onions on the scales at first and I guess it doesn’t care about weight for those products, but I just removed the radishes from the scales and kept going, not needing to ask for help. Then I realized I had just enough time to dash back to Carrefour to check something before it closed, getting there at 9:50 PM, but I didn’t find anything anymore, and got back here at 10:20 PM.

Moving on to June 26, dad finally spotted the pretty large spider which had been in the bathroom window for quite a while and grabbed the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed it, alive, while I kept saying that spiders are quite fine, and often even useful, if left alone. So I told him to at least not put the vacuum cleaner back in its place, in front of my room, and he did put it on the balcony, but he definitely baffled me when he asked how come I don’t like to have mold but say that spiders are fine. With the previous argument still very much on my mind, I decided to not reply to that.

On June 28 it wasn’t even 9:30 AM when that neighbor started drilling, and after half an hour I cut my losses, got up and made tea. But another half an hour later I got back to my room and the drilling soon stopped, so I went back to sleep, getting up for good a few minutes before 2 PM. I had moved the alarm from 2 PM to 2:15 PM when I got up to pee, around noon, but when I woke up again at that point, there was little reason to just waste some more minutes in bed. Either way, had crazy dreams until then, something about needing some medical tests, which is interesting if you consider what happened a week later, and flying to Cluj for them and wondering about meeting Alma, then something about a lab researching medical matters and me or, somehow, my character breaking a year’s worth of the condensed product, others wondering briefly whether we were infected because of that, then just shrugging and leaving. Then I found myself right on that day, but Andra was here and pissed that I was focused on resting for the run and not paying attention to her. My parents, my grandfather, who died several years ago, and a much younger version of my grandmother were also here, along with Andra’s brother for some reason, and my grandmother asked me to help her wash a burned arm even though the alarm had failed to ring and I was really rushing after waking up after 6 PM instead of 2:15 PM. And Andra was still pissed, of course, and I was wondering how to run but also make it up to her later. But, back in “reality”, I had the usual stuff, with raisins in dark chocolate and almonds added in the yogurt and cereals, put on the full running gear, with a few things, including the expired protein bar, in the pocket of my tights, and left at 4:15 PM, when the reported temperature was 29-30°C, supposed to hold steady or maybe drop by 1°C by the time I’ll finish.
The time was an utterly terrible 1:55:49, with sector times of 4:22, 5:10, 5:58, 4:32, 5:14, 6:10, 4:43, 5:24, 6:29, 5:03, 5:50, 6:53, 5:31, 6:05, 7:15, 5:29, 6:26, 7:29, 2:09, 7:13 and 2:24, making for lap times of 15:30, 15:56, 16:36, 17:46, 18:51 and 19:24, plus 11:46 for that final portion. Aimed for 1:50 after the start, and was pleased with the first lap time, then meant to stay under 16 minutes on lap two and managed that as well, but then I meant to lose less compared to the target times on laps three and four than I had gained on the first two and yet already lost more on three, shockingly hitting the wall on its sector three. From then on, it was just about getting to the end, changing the target to 1:51, 1:53, 1:54, 1:55… Had only allowed for 18 minutes on lap six, but went well over on both five and six, and it wasn’t until I saw the time at the start of the final sector that I realized I was actually looking at 1:56. And I was crushed, rather walked up the stairs, the result being my worst final sector time, albeit tied with that from my second worst half marathon run through the park, this being the third worst through the park, and fourth overall. Also had my worst lap six, even including those on the two 35.2 km runs, though there was a worse lap five on the second of those, and also the worst lap five that I know of except those on those two 35.2 km runs.
Had to briefly stop after a silly dance with a cyclist before the long straight on sector two of lap two, and slowed to squeeze through a group at the end of the next straight, but otherwise there weren’t many people and they didn’t cause other notable issues, just making me need to occasionally weave or go the long way around. The Sun was really burning though, and if it was this bad even so, I have no idea what I’d have done without the clouds. I guess I’d have had to give up, as even so I found myself thinking that if each time I previously thought of giving up before the planned distance I nevertheless pushed through, that day I really will have to stop earlier, so I at least avoided that even bigger embarrassment. But, back to the clouds, one came at the end of sector one and start of sector two of lap two, then it might have gotten mostly cloudy from sector two of lap three, though by the time I finished I couldn’t really recall anymore, just knowing that it was definitely mostly cloudy since sector two of lap four, and getting more so after that. Otherwise, lost a significant amount of time when I ate that protein bar, on sector one of lap five, briefly stopping twice and slowing at least three more times, if not four, the fact that it had been melting in my pocket making it hard to eat, and I also threw away the wrapping in a bin. And from sector three of lap one I already felt a certain pressing need, which came and went after that, being quite an issue at times, albeit not for long, and seeming to eventually go away after it got really cloudy. But I couldn’t say that anything hurt or there were other specific physical issues, just feeling awfully tired and unable to do any better.
Had meant to check Carrefour after the run, which was why I had the other things in my pocket, but decided against it, feeling rather out of it on the way back even so, with a brief but worrying moment when something even seemed rather wrong with my vision. Did quickly check this nearby Mega Image, just pulling my t-shirt up to cover my nose so I won’t dig out my mask for just a few seconds, but just had a look at the expiring products and went back out.

Finally moving on to June 29, I got up when the alarm rang, at 8 AM, but I was already awake for a little while at that point and had slept those couple of hours poorly anyway. I should have left at 10:10 AM, but dad also left then, he asked where Micky was and I wondered whether she had ended up in my room when the door was open, so I went back in to search, couldn’t find her, and it was after he did, at 10:15 AM, that we both finally left and went our separate ways.
The reason for waking up so early was that, as a first reaction to the information that, now that the date when it was going to be discussed once again was approaching, our Prime Minister didn’t want to support Rosia Montana’s inclusion on the UNESCO World Heritage List, a small protest had been announced, taking place in front of the headquarters of PNL. So I went there, arrived just after 11:35 AM, saw a few people and the large banner… And then reached for my mask, which I hadn’t worn on the way, and found that it was no longer in my pocket! I recall checking, just patting the pocket, not too long before getting there, but at that moment it just wasn’t there anymore. And masks are still required at public gatherings, plus that I meant to check multiple stores on the way back, and also go to a location of the Library for another book. But I had to give up on those ideas, and on the protest, just turning around and going back without even approaching to take a few pictures. Ended up on a different street at first, but after realizing it I went back and retraced my steps all the way to the spot where I remembered checking for it, wondering whether I’d actually wear it if I’d find it, since it was in a small paper bag. But that remained a hypothetical question, since I couldn’t find it, so if it did fall out of my pocket somewhere, it was likely blown away by the wind or gathered by the street cleaners before I got back to that spot.
Either way, got back here at 1:15 PM and decided to follow what would have been the initial plan for the day, before seeing the talk about that event, so I got 15 kg of paper, as in most of the newspapers, magazines, catalogs and other such things which had gathered, weighing both for the total and in order to split the weight evenly between two bags and the backpack, and left again at 2:05 PM, going to the recycling center that’s just before that newer Kaufland. When I got there and started dumping the paper on the scales, the guy asked whether it was loose, I said I did want the bags back, and he said they usually take packaged paper, but then he looked around, grabbed a nearby bag and held it for me to pour everything in it, so in the end it was fine and I just said I didn’t know that, but will from then on and will put it in a bag if I’ll have more. And I got 3 RON for it, according to the listed rate.
Then I went to that Kaufland, finally finding the cat litter I was looking for, plus a number of other things. The self-checkout machine was having issues though, as when I placed the toilet paper on the scales the screen flickered and then asked me to place the correct item, so I had to call the employee to help. But, while she seemed to have been left to handle both the self-checkouts and the information desk on her own, she seemed in a particularly good mood, and she quickly sorted that out, stayed logged on when I selected the pretzel as well, then logged off and left me to continue… Only to need to come back when one of the expiring breads I got for dad also wouldn’t be recognized after the screen flickered, though it had recognized the first identical one, so she stayed logged on after that in order to override any further errors. Then, after I got out of there, I also got cheese from that store that’s in the building with that Penny, then also went to Carrefour on the way back, getting a few things from there too, and was finally back here at 5:55 PM, having carried a total of almost 21 kg, including everything, all but a couple of them all the way from Kaufland, so the backpack definitely helped a lot.
Did go back out one more time just a little later, briefly, just to leave some food our cats had left until then and weren’t touching anymore to those that are behind the building. As for that night, after a lunch I started late and finished after midnight, eating slowly, while playing and winning another Fantasy General battle, I would have nevertheless started eating dinner before 3 AM if I wouldn’t have taken the time to move the expiring cheese I got to jars. As it was, I ended up starting at 3:10 AM.

Read this not only without playing any of the games, but without any real knowledge of the Shadowrun universe in general, and what I can say after reading is that I’d rather keep it that way. Not that I wasn’t already leaning against even trying the games, despite getting them for free, just because I had the pretty clear impression that the world they take place in is an awful one that I want no part of, but these stories confirmed it.
About the stories themselves… Well, they’re short stories and I don’t really care for short stories in general, and the awful world definitely doesn’t help, plus that the first impression was poor because the beginning of the first one struck me as poorly written. And the last one seemed to me to be the weakest. However, the others, and even the first one once you get past the beginning, are generally written well enough, connect in some ways and are likely to mean much more to those who know and appreciate this universe. While too much seemed to revolve around the Union, I did rather like the story titled Cherry Bomb. On the other hand, Never Alone also seems to stand out in some ways, but that one’s so creepy that I shy away from it.

Rating: 3/5

After needing to do this three times in 2019, for personal posts written in June, October and, respectively, December of that year, I had managed to avoid needing to copy more of those old book reviews in order to create slots for personal posts and delay the moment when I’ll need to give up on the next to last of the original rules I set for this blog, keeping personal posts to less than half the total. And maybe, even if it’d have meant two posts in one day and therefore needing one more this week, I’d have found a way to avoid it today as well, throwing a quick comment, or maybe even a somewhat proper post about the protest I attended yesterday, though this was unlikely, the post about the protest being what I’m most likely to try to add as the week’s second post, on a separate day. But I didn’t avoid it, and in fact a July 12 post seems like a good enough reason to use up another one of those last reserves I have, even if this isn’t a milestone one. Or I guess it’s the 20th July 12, if you include the first one, but the next one, if I’ll still be alive by then, will be the one marking 20 years, so that will be the milestone.
As it is, there isn’t much to say right now, other than the usual things that don’t need to be posted yet again. Did go through the links I have, finding out something new and removing those that were dead, and added a few more after a quick search, and I guess the relief is that I didn’t find anything indicating that my worst fear has become a reality. Nothing to clearly say otherwise either, of course, but I guess I’ll take what I can get… And if I understood that new development correctly, it should be another step up for her, and since I guess those things are important to her, it should be good news from that point of view.
But I’ll stop here, because it seems that writing these things is hitting me worse than just going through them, and right now I’m feeling like I’m about to shit myself… I guess it’s a good thing I decided against trying to run today, after walking quite a lot and jogging back from the Carrefour from Unirii yesterday, since the plan now is to try to run in the evening, going out at or just after 7 PM, at least this week and the next, and doing that when I already feel like this is definitely not a good idea. The weather will only get worse after today, however, hotter and, except tomorrow, also likely to be quite windy, so I’ll need to put up with the couple of additional degrees and try to run tomorrow evening, just hoping it won’t be a truly awful result at least… I need to run 16 km though, and I covered that distance on my way to the last half marathon run, which was on June 28 and was absolutely awful, in 1:24:39, which if repeated on an actual 16 km run would make it the slowest ever.
Oh, it just started raining, quite out of nowhere and rather heavily. So it could be quite nice to go this evening if it’ll stop soon, or impossible if it won’t. But I already decided I won’t go, so it doesn’t matter. And it feels wrong to write about such things in such a post, so I really will stop here with it. Wonder when I’ll get around to adding another more general personal update though, since the last one was on June 20, going up to that night since I edited it to add a little more then, and after that I only covered the second dose of the vaccine and the day spent at the emergency hospital, and I didn’t even go over this last post yet.

Noticing how badly swollen my feet were and seeing that nothing I tried seemed to bring the swelling down in any noticeable way scared me enough that, when I showed pictures to Alma and she urged me to go to a doctor the next day, I actually started considering it. And, since I was likely too worried to sleep anyway, I didn’t even try, leaving just after 6:10 AM and heading to the nearby County Emergency Hospital Ilfov… Only to be turned away by the guards, since I had forgotten that it was still only for COVID-19 patients, being told to go to either Pantelimon or Floreasca. So I turned around, wondering whether I should try to somehow stuff those swollen feet into my running shoes, which seemed about to burst when I had tried in the evening, and try to run before it got hotter, or move the plan for the next day to that day and then go to Floreasca from there. And, by the time I got back, at or maybe just after 6:50 AM, I had decided on that second option, so I had a bit to eat and left again at 8:35 AM.

That second option involved taking all of those 330 ml bottles of kefir which had gathered, plus one 500 ml one stained by what had been in it, to a pet blood bank which had asked for plastic bottles of 500 ml or less to use as ice packs for the blood transports. I sent them a message to ask whether those were all right and they said yes, and while at first I meant to go there Tuesday, considering the plan to run Monday, and had told them so, I just sent another message to let them know I’ll try to come that day and got there just after 10 AM, after wandering around that area for a little while, at first going the wrong way at the last intersection. Then I just went in, handed over the bottles… And banged my head on my way out, the place being partially below street level, which means climbing stairs and needing to bend your head as you go out the door, and I forgot about this second part…

An earlier version of the plan for that day also included stopping by a location of the Library to grab another book, but when passing by a different location, which is closed these days, I realized I had forgotten my pass. But that was irrelevant anyway, since I was thinking that I’ll be seen at Floreasca relatively quickly and then get to the family doctor, to see what she had to say about it even though I don’t trust her in the least, just as she’ll start her schedule for that day, which dad had said was supposed to be at 2 PM, and getting to that location of the Library meant making another significant detour on the way from the hospital to the clinic. However, while I did get to Floreasca when I assumed I would, being in line at triage at 10:30 AM, my turn came just under an hour later, I was sent inside after explaining the problem and was initially called into the room around 11:45 AM, my expectations of being checked quickly and, most preferably, be told that it wasn’t an emergency and sent on my way were far off the mark… Though, much to my relief, so were my concerns that, on the contrary, the problem will turn out to be an emergency and they’ll need to act right away.
When I was first called inside, I thought it shouldn’t be much of a problem to be back out by 12:30 PM, so in 45 minutes, giving me plenty of time to get to the clinic according to that plan I had made. However, almost immediately after I was called inside, a more serious case was brought in and I was asked to wait outside again, and 12:30 PM came and went while I was still on the hallway, only finally being formally admitted at 12:54 PM, that exact time being clear in my mind since I was asked to write it on the form. Then they asked some more questions, looked at my feet, drew blood twice, sent me to another room to have an ultrasound, performed an electrocardiogram, checked my blood pressure and oxygen level and left me waiting in a bed, where I still was around 2 PM, when the shift apparently changes, so the team that was there until then gave the details of the cases to those coming to replace them, more waiting following as the new team took over and determined priorities.
I must state here and now that I in no way blame the staff for all the waiting. The only ones I was dissatisfied with were the doctor who did that first ultrasound, who just rushed me out of there with a list of insufficiencies and fluid accumulations, literally telling me “we don’t have time to talk”, and possibly also his assistant, who was just entering what he was saying on the computer, without any involvement. But, over all the hours I spent there, I’d say that six “main” people handled my case, unless I’m forgetting someone and there were in fact even more, and around ten more, including those two I mentioned, were more or less briefly involved, and I have no complaints about any of the others, the experience going completely against my concerns and low expectations when it comes to the medical system. They were dedicated and professional while also managing to maintain a good mood and trying to spread it to the patients despite all the effort they were making, and perhaps more importantly, most truly seemed to care, about me and the others who were there, even those who had an attitude or weren’t exactly cooperating, and at least in my case they really tried to get to the bottom of it, put me through all the tests their protocols and equipment allowed them to put me through in order to find the actual cause instead of just dealing with the immediate symptoms. For that matter, I wasn’t given any sort of treatment, the fact that the ultrasound hadn’t revealed any blood clots likely making them decide that the visible problem was something that didn’t need immediate attention.
Getting back to what actually happened, I was still waiting in that bed around 3 PM, when the doctor who took over my case got back to me to tell me a few things, including that they were seeing a clear cardiac insufficiency which isn’t too serious at the moment but can worsen, and when I asked how long I should expect to still be there that day, he said it should be ten or 15 minutes until someone will come to take me to have a chest X-ray, and then it depends how long it’ll take until the next tests he’ll ask for will get done, it might be another 15 minutes, it might be another hour. And I guess he did finish his part in that time, the discussions I occasionally heard between them, about what the next tests should be for me, seeming to eventually lead to the conclusion that I shouldn’t be put through something else at that moment, and that my case should be taken over by another doctor.
So I was moved back from the bed to a chair and told to wait for that new doctor to look over my case and form an opinion, and what followed was a lot of waiting. And a problem was that I need to pee, so I tried to wait, but eventually, at some point after 4 PM, maybe even after 4:30 PM, I stood up and hesitantly stepped towards the door, at which point the doctor whose care I had first been under after the change of shift asked whether I had something to do, and then told me where the bathroom was when I asked. Then I got back to the room and continued to wait, at one point noticing that a woman seemed to be in trouble and pointing it out to the doctors, as they were all at the desks, though that apparently turned out to not be that serious either. And, after she did something for that woman and one other patient who was sitting next to me and, rather concerningly, seemed to have a fever that wasn’t breaking, this third doctor managed to get to me as well, and after a look at my feet and a few questions she apparently brought the cardiology department on my case, for a heart ultrasound.
At this point I find myself wanting to mention other reasons for concern, like an apparently known drug user brought in after having intentionally overdosed on medication having previously reported that she had tuberculosis, though the staff was saying that there was no actual confirmation of it on her file, and the one who seemed to be in charge during that shift saying at one point that COVID-19 protocols had been breached, someone confirmed with the Delta variant having simply walked in without as much as a mask, and after that point I repeatedly heard discussions about the staff being tested. And I was in a hospital for so many hours, next to plenty of other people with various problems, and sitting on beds or chairs that others had sat on. But let’s hope I won’t learn I came out of there with more problems than I had when I went in.
To again return to what actually happened, that heart ultrasound was in complete contrast with that first one, the machinery being brought to that main room and the procedure being performed with the utmost care, taking quite a lot of time but apparently checking every detail they could think of, and then also having a quick look in my abdomen, though the doctor admitted he didn’t really know much about that and was only looking to get an idea, see if anything obvious would stand out, which wasn’t the case… And, even better, this detailed ultrasound did not confirm that cardiac insufficiency that was initially reported, and they looked as hard as they possibly could to see whether anything at all was wrong and didn’t seem to really find anything. They maintained the diagnosis of venous insufficiency and said that my body is clearly reacting to a perceived cardiac insufficiency, a hormone that reveals this being well above the limit, but they can’t actually see anything wrong in any way. And it was that doctor who was also the first to mention a kidney problem as the potential cause, though that was the first thing I was worried about, at least after thinking that it might have been something caused by the vaccine after all, this part about the vaccine also being what I had said at triage and when I was admitted. So he asked me to give a urine sample, which I went back to the toilet to do, but that didn’t reveal any proteins, which he said was what he was looking for. It did reveal ketone bodies, but they didn’t seem to care about that, and there’s also the fact that I had been there since morning, hadn’t drank anything since the previous night, and it was close to 6 PM, if I remember correctly, so the fact that nothing even worse showed up is somewhat surprising.
Since I mentioned 6 PM, it was likely around that time when I started being told that it’ll just be a little longer, the cardiology department just had to find time for their report and then all those involved had to have a discussion and agree on the final recommendations. But it was likely before that point, or possibly even before that heart ultrasound, or even while waiting for the third doctor to get to me the first time, when I stained my shirt with the iodine from one of the bandages on my arm, where blood had been drawn, but I washed it all off in the sink from that room, also cleaning the front of my pants a little as well, since I thought I saw a small stain there as well. Either way, after things had rather died down for a while, patients started flooding in again and I even ended up standing in a corner, with no places left to even sit, at least taking the opportunity to pull up those drapes for those passing through with their hands full or with stretchers, doing just that little thing to help when I really wanted to do more, even meaning to ask whether I could help in any way, even clean something, though I couldn’t get myself to do so and I’m sure it’d have been pointless anyway. The one who seemed in charge noticed me and asked why weren’t they done with me already, and to at least find me a place to sit, which resulted in a bed soon being cleared and being asked to sit on it even though I said they were likely going to need it for another patient… And that soon proved to be the case, so it was only minutes later when I was quite apologetically asked to wait on the hallway again.
As I was waiting, two of the doctors, the third one who took over my case and apparently brought the cardiology department in on it and the cardiologist who didn’t operate the ultrasound, took a moment the couple of times they walked past me to apologize for the wait and tell me it’ll just be a little longer and the cardiologists just had to find time between the other patients to write their report, but it wasn’t their fault, I understood the situation and, as I even told that third doctor at one such moment, in a way it’s a good thing if you find yourself at the bottom of the priority list in an emergency hospital, since it means you’re not an emergency. And after a while things were calming again, so even though that “little longer” turned out to be anything but, my turn did eventually come, at almost 9:30 PM.
Well, after being shockingly calm throughout the day, that was when I got worried again, since I was told that their recommendation was to transfer me to another hospital, where I was to be hospitalized for some more thorough tests which can’t be done otherwise, and which also can’t be done in an emergency hospital. After being told multiple times that I will be released after they’ll find the time to put everything together, and even the cardiologist who was talking to me then saying, after that heart ultrasound, that they had no reason to hold me, that came as quite a shock, and I obviously refused, and started getting quite agitated, still holding it together but not knowing for how long, and repeating that I just wanted to go home. That meant I didn’t cooperate when I was told they wanted one more blood test, the nurse who was supposed to draw the blood walking away when she saw how I reacted, but after making sure that I could just refuse the transfer and be able to leave that evening, and also being assured that the test in question really won’t take long, I could recover enough to allow it. The doctor did try to persuade me to accept the transfer a little more, and actually told others that she was going to do that, but after telling her that I’m surprised I managed to hold it together for all those hours, considering my anxiety, and that as long as I’ll physically be able to walk away I will firmly refuse any hospitalization, she gave up.
It was just after I first refused the transfer that dad called, having apparently just gotten back and asking where I was. I had been alone those days and had sent him an e-mail the night before to ask about the family doctor’s schedule but say that otherwise it was something I had to deal with on my own, yet he had called once before, in the morning, as I was on my way to that pet blood bank, to say that he had spoken to some other doctor about swollen feet and that guy told him some things and also said I should use a certain gel, which he had already bought. That was obviously infuriating, and also sapped my resolve to do anything, so at the time I just repeated that I said I had to handle it and then pretty much stayed silent until he hung up, but this second call coming right at that moment likely helped me regain some balance just when I felt my control was slipping away, and the fact that I was given a bit of time to talk by the doctors definitely helped.
So I then allowed that new nurse to draw blood for that last test and talked some more with the cardiologist, who told me they wanted to transfer me to Coltea in order to run tests for chronic illnesses, since they can just deal with the potential emergencies, and also mentioned the clinic where my family doctor is, which actually has a part for athletes that also seems to be called Coltea, so I was confused, unsure which was which, and what she said when I asked didn’t really help, or I guess I wasn’t in a state in which I understood things well anymore. Either way, she said she also wanted to have my resistance to effort tested, and was also wondering whether that hormone that normally indicates cardiac insufficiency couldn’t be at those levels just because I’m an athlete, meaning that it could actually be normal and admitting that she didn’t know anything about that. They had also listed me as a performance athlete, and when I said I’m in no way anything of the sort she said she can barely run two kilometers, so from her perspective I am and that’s how it stays. In fact, after the second doctor asked me, when taking over my case, whether I used to be an athlete and I told him it was quite the other way around, I used to be very sedentary but started running in 2015, ran my first half marathon in 2016 and my first marathon in 2018, while the significant worsening of my times lately is for me a clear indicator of some health problem, I heard them share that bit of information whenever a new person was brought in on my case… While at the same time saying that this worsening performance I’m noticing is “highly subjective” and asking me whether I noticed that I’m tiring more easily when I do chores or walk, when to me that seems a highly subjective assessment while the worsening times are completely objective.
Back to that talk with the cardiologist, she said that some more complex tests, possibly including those, would only be carried out if I’m hospitalized, they won’t be done if I just go there for the day, and also said that I could have them done in a private clinic, but that would obviously cost a lot of money. But since I was clearly refusing hospitalization they didn’t even list those in the recommendations, though I was left uncertain whether I have to go to my family doctor and see where she’ll send me or can show up directly at Coltea with the documents and they’ll perform those tests. I’d obviously prefer this second option, to have it all done in one place and avoid my family doctor, which I don’t trust at all, but since I have no idea how it works, or even whether they’ll still be free if I didn’t accept that transfer, at the moment I’m just putting off even really thinking about it… Which I shouldn’t be doing, and the cardiologist also said that I really shouldn’t stop investigating this matter at that point, because something is definitely wrong and ankles that look that badly at my age and weight indicate a serious problem that they couldn’t identify, I should obviously also see why my body acts as if I have a cardiac insufficiency, and I clearly have anemia and they stressed that I needed to have that checked out and see whether there’s any bleeding, possibly even internal, that might explain it, because it’s quite a problem… And indeed, at a first glance on my blood tests one would wonder whether anything is right, but a second glance reveals that nearly everything that’s not within the normal range indicates or is otherwise connected to an obvious anemia.
Moving on, it was around 10 PM when another doctor, who seemed to be the last one to take over my case, for that final part of getting those who had been involved to agree and putting everything together, said that she was just going to staple all the papers together and I’ll finally be able to leave… Only to then realize that the third doctor hadn’t written her opinion, so she called her and told me to wait just a little longer, since she’ll be there in a moment… And while she did indeed get there quickly, she wrote more than one full page by hand, which she had actually been doing throughout the day. That took quite some time, as you can imagine, and then she talked to me a little as well, and then the others had to find a moment to make copies of those pages by taking pictures with a phone and then printing them out, keeping the original and giving me the copies. And this happened when another patient had been brought in that seemed to require the attention of multiple people, including the cardiologist, so I didn’t get a chance to talk to her one last time, since I’d have wanted to thank her for all the time and effort and care and apologize in case she was bothered because I refused the transfer after she might have struggled to be allowed to go through with it. I did manage to just briefly thank that third doctor and, just as I was leaving, this last one, just after they both apologized one more time for how long everything took, but I had rehearsed something to say, asking them to also thank all the others who had been involved on my behalf, and I just couldn’t get myself to say that part of it, sadly. And I really wanted to thank them for their care and involvement, regardless of how long it took and the fact that the initial recommendation scared me so much.

Was finally out of there at 10:55 PM, and realized as I was about to cross the road that I had forgotten to check whether there was any bin for used masks at the hospital exit, since I really didn’t want to come back with that one worn in there for so long, even if I normally keep them in a paper bag to throw them in the proper bin when I go to Kaufland. But there was a pharmacy just there, across the road from the hospital, that was still open, so after a few steps I turned around and went in, looking for a bin for masks and then pretending to check out some products before looking again and, when I couldn’t spot any, taking off the mask and asking the guard whether there was any place where I could throw it. But she told me to keep it, in case I’ll still need it, so I just said that, after wearing it for 12 hours in the hospital, I’m definitely not keeping it and will throw it away outside, which I did, in the first garbage bin I saw, even though that’s definitely not the proper way when it comes to masks.
It was soon after that when dad called again, and while he did say we’ll talk at home after a little while, I had started ranting and things just came flooding out, so I kept telling him about the day as I walked and I obviously didn’t pay enough attention to where I was going, since at Obor I went the wrong way. He had just asked me how long it’ll be until I’ll get back and I saw the metro station, so it was obvious where I was and told him how long it should take me from there, and the call didn’t last much longer after that, but instead of continuing in that direction I obviously ended up turning right and only realized it much later, when I happened to see the street name when I was pretty much at the end of that section of it… And if I’d have continued, I should have recognized that intersection and turned left, to at least get to Iancului Square. There should actually be a slightly shorter route from there, but I’m talking of routes I clearly know. But since I didn’t take those last few steps, I didn’t end up in that spot, didn’t quite know where I was, and actually thought it was more likely that I had walked on that street in the other direction and my only option was to go back, so that was what I did… Until what was probably a prostitute seeming about to approach me in an intersection made me turn left instead of going straight ahead, to try to avoid her, and when I did so I ended up in a spot I did recognize, as I had just passed through there on the way to that pet blood bank, so I could get back from there. So I went back all that way when just a few more steps forward would have significantly cut my losses, but at least I got back here eventually, at 12:30 AM. Then I had to shower with mostly cold water, started eating dinner at 3:50 AM and got in bed just after 5:30 AM.

As for my feet, oddly enough, they looked much better when I got back, despite all the walking and standing. That’s just about my feet, however, since my ankles were awfully swollen. But even those were much better even the next day, and since then I wouldn’t say I’d have normally noticed anything wrong. Now that I’m paying attention I see that there’s still a bit of swelling, at least sometimes, but it’s nothing that would in any way approach what I saw then, which makes me wonder whether the vaccine didn’t actually have something to do with it after all, even though the doctors were dismissing the idea. I mean, there are probably some existing ailments that would cause such symptoms, and it’s still my kidneys that I’m mainly worried about, even though they apparently confirmed at least the venous insufficiency, but the vaccine might have acted as a trigger and enhancer, making this happen at that time and with such severity.
Of course, my natural tendency is to try to forget about all of it. Even when I woke up the next day I couldn’t quite believe all of that actually happened, thought I had just dreamed it for a moment, and now I’d much rather just put those tests and recommendations away and just keep pushing forward, despite the obvious problems revealed by my constantly worsening run times, on top of obvious symptoms such as these. But I know I really shouldn’t do that, and also still want to handle it on my own, one way or the other, so let’s see what I’ll manage to do next and when. I’d sure like to avoid my family doctor if I can, however…