Cav's Place

Noticed recently that the media over here was once again making a huge story out of the death of a person who had been dying for quite some time, and this made me get back to this question. I seem to recall stumbling into a reasonable amount of coverage back when his illness was discovered, but barely a few brief notices more recently, when it could quite clearly be said that he was dying, and next to nothing in between, yet the day he died the story exploded everywhere, including both the mourning and the recognition we have come to expect.
Now that would make perfect sense if we’d be talking of a sudden, shocking death, but when the death was expected and came after a period of suffering, shouldn’t all of this have been expressed earlier? Under these circumstances, shouldn’t any respect or recognition be presented while the person is still alive, and perhaps particularly during this last portion of their life marked by such suffering, if it will bring them some small amount of comfort to notice that they are and will continue to be fondly remembered while they’re still able to actually notice that? And shouldn’t the sadness be caused by the suffering itself, or if specific moments are needed then by the failure of a treatment or at the very least by the moment when the condition clearly takes what is expected to be a final turn for the worse?
If anything, since such a death marks the end of suffering, it should be at least a reason for relief, if not even some subdued celebration, yet what we have are funerals and later commemorations, both of which are usually sad affairs, plus all of this coverage focused on the death when the person was more or less famous or had otherwise attracted the attention of the media. All of these rituals, be they religious or secular, seem so deeply entrenched that they’re not only not questioned, but actually cause those who’d shun them to be seen as strange at best. On the other hand, despite being far more likely to have a positive impact even if only thanks to the placebo effect, an elaborate healing ritual would frequently be seen as superstition, foolish or primitive, while a sending off one done before the person’s death and with their direct involvement would likely be a great shock and possibly generate particularly negative reactions.

Of course, the fact that people frequently tend to do things simply because “that’s how it’s always been done” or, if they analyze the options at all, they do so very irrationally and pick the one that makes the least sense is nothing new, and when it comes to death this discussion could easily be expanded to burial as well, not to mention to the right to die at the time and in the manner of one’s own choosing, but those are topics for another time. This was only meant to be a brief rant triggered by something I happened to notice once again recently, so I’ll leave it at that for now.

Leaving this week’s posts very late, but I kept meaning to ask dad to help me move the desk so I’ll be able to spray any mold in this area as well and also clean the dust from the computer one more time this year, after the April cleaning got me through the admittedly reasonable first two months of summer with no temperature warnings. However, that only happened yesterday, after I only got myself to ask Wednesday night, so I couldn’t get this week’s personal post in any sooner. What’s more, the only ideas I got about other potential brief rants came to me Thursday night, and then I obviously couldn’t try to write any of them yesterday, so I’ll now have to see what I can do tomorrow.

Since I obviously wanted to go out after spraying yesterday and the forecast was for a sunny day with a high of around 33°C, I left it late, and it ended up being somewhat too late, as it was past 7:30 PM by the time I finally stepped outside and rain was coming, with the sky having been overcast for a while already. That meant that, by the time I got to the spot where volunteers should be gathering signatures in support of a law against fracking, I couldn’t find anyone there anymore, though the schedule says they should theoretically be there until 10 PM. As such, walking in that direction didn’t have much of a point and I also got rained on, but it was light summer rain that only served to get rid of the heat, so it was probably as good a route as any other in the end. Will need to look for them again the week after the next, however, since they won’t be here next week and I do want to sign that, since it’s the most formal effort made in this direction so far.

As for cleaning the computer, was probably a bit more thorough than before and it seems to show, as last night, when it was admittedly cooler thanks to the rain and the fact that I had a fan running in my room while I was out to help get rid of the smell and vapors left by that spray, I was getting 65°C for each core with the CPU fan reporting 2100 rpm, while right now I’m looking at 68°C and 2200 rpm. Before doing this, temperatures were between 68 and 70°C and the CPU fan was reporting between 2500 and even slightly above 2700 rpm, the values being similar regardless of the time of day due to the fact that these concrete walls tend to accumulate heat and radiate it inside later. The only issue now is the slight vibration I’m noticing once again, which tends to happen after I take the side panels off and then put them back on, since they got slightly bent over the years and it’s difficult to find the right position. It’s not too bad, however, so I’ll try to more or less fix the problem by simply pressing in various areas when it becomes more noticeable, without taking them off again.
In fact, that was what I was doing last night when I somehow ended up leaning to the right and bumping my head right into the corner of this sliding part of the desk that the keyboard and mouse are on. I didn’t hit it hard at all, but it’s a corner and it can feel quite sharp at certain angles, so any force the impact had was localized in a single point and I may have scratched myself a little as well, so I started rubbing the area and also grabbed a spoon to hold something colder there for a little while, though I didn’t actually look until some 30 minutes later and when I did I noticed a red area that wasn’t exactly where I had been rubbing and holding the spoon. Whether that’s the actual spot that hit that corner or it’s an area affected by that atopic dermatitis that just happened to be nearby, I can’t tell, but there did seem to be a slight bump there, so I then started rubbing and pressing there instead, which made it worse in a way that seems to indicate the latter scenario. The bump could still be felt when I woke up today and the spot does hurt a bit when pressed, but that may well be the result of touching an area affected by the dermatitis so much and there don’t seem to be any more worrying symptoms, so I guess I’ll just wait and see.

Otherwise, I’m still playing Blades of Heaven and should be nearing the end, though I said that once before only to find that I was only approaching the end of part two. Did glance at a guide and know that part three is the last one, so no such surprises anymore, but didn’t read ahead to know whether it includes anything other than what is obvious at the moment. Still, unless some terribly difficult battle will stop me, I should be finishing it soon enough either way, and then I do plan to review it, though that will be rather hard to do considering the fact that I spent most of the first part thinking it was a piece of shit before starting to enjoy it and realize how much effort was put into the mechanics, and also the fact that most of the time I was thinking the writing and story were dreadful but I have since began to realize that the story itself can be rather decent if you can pluck it out of the definitely dreadful writing.
I also submitted some more mobyranks on MobyGames last week, but nothing this week, so it’s still a matter of the odd exception and definitely not a sign that I’m getting back to what I was doing. I do plan to at least occasionally add more, but it’s a matter of being in the right mood and, either way, it doesn’t seem like anyone except that asshole I got into that nasty conflict with, ending up being banned for a while as a result, even looks at them anymore, and he seems to only do the non-English ones and at least now ignores any of my submissions that don’t meet his requirements, so everything else is simply stuck in queue, the oldest being there since April 3.

Already meant to see if I could write this week’s second post, which was just going to be another short personal update, today, but this afternoon I just broke something else and I don’t feel like babbling for the space of a few paragraphs about other things. Admittedly, it could definitely have been worse if I wouldn’t have managed to get my legs out of the way in time, but I still hurt myself a little while I was cleaning up, plus that replacing what broke will cost a fair amount.

To start with the beginning, today I got on the computer around 3:20 PM and not long after that, probably some ten minutes later, the power went out. Around 3:50 PM, after using a small candle placed in a cup so I won’t be completely in the dark while pooping, I called the short number for the power company and the machine quickly informed me that the problem in my area will be resolved around 6:30 PM, so quite some time later.
As such, since I was alone, I decided to make myself some mamaliga, though for a moment I thought I may not be able to because dad had once again left used cooking oil in the cauldron usually used for this and in the past I remember hot water also becoming just way more expensive cold water when the power was off in the area. However, this time I found that we still had hot water, so I washed that and got to it, also starting to make a salad while waiting for the water to boil.
Well, oddly enough, power returned around 4:25 PM, so I turned the computer back on, plugged the refrigerator back in after having unplugged it to avoid any risk of surges, and then kept alternating between my room and the kitchen until 5:35 PM, when I considered the mamaliga done. Also had the salad, and two boiled eggs and a little kashkaval and butter were waiting in a large plate to be mixed with the mamaliga, so I placed said plate on the counter, grabbed a kitchen rag, picked up the cauldron… And somehow promptly dropped it, somehow also not having it above the counter at that particular moment, even though that’s right next to the stove.
I still can’t figure out exactly what happened, whether it was the rag that slipped or I had grabbed it wrong or it burned me or what, I don’t even know which side slipped first, but one definitely did and the only thing my mind processed at that instant was that my legs were in the path of a falling heavy and burning hot thing, so I moved them out of the way and then spent the next few seconds staring dumbly at mamaliga smeared all over the kitchen and quite a bunch of small enamel shards, thinking that can’t be real.
Unfortunately, it obviously was real, so I then spent the next half an hour cleaning up, during which time I also banged the area where my right kidney probably is against the side of the table while getting up once. Didn’t feel much at the moment, probably because I was still shocked, but a few minutes later it was sort of like I had hit my balls those minutes ago, so definitely not nice and I can actually still feel it a little, which is a bit of a reason for concern.
Examined the cauldron as well, finding that the enamel was cracked, and in one small spot chipped away, on the inside as well in the area that hit the floor first, so that’s no longer usable… And it’s probably older than me and made of cast iron, so replacing that will cost a fair amount, though thankfully it’s a small 2.5-liter one, so it could be worse. In addition, I do rather fail to see the point of a cauldron and think that, while the replacement will also need to be cast iron, since that seems to be the right material for what we use it for, it may be better if it’ll be a pot with regular handles, which should also significantly reduce the risk of it slipping out of my hand again… Because it’s actually the second time it happened, and there was one more time when I had to drop it quickly as my hand had missed the rag and I got burned, but the previous times it was only a few centimeters above the table and counter, respectively, so no damage was done.

Either way, got right back to making some more mamaliga after that, since everything else was still waiting for me, but used a regular stainless steel pot, which is of course actually aluminum with an extremely thin stainless steel coating, and that’s not suitable for this, so the result was more like a partially burned mush. Was edible, so that was that, but I wasted a couple of hours, ruined an old cast iron cauldron and hit myself in the process, so if I didn’t already have enough reasons to say I can’t do shit, now there’s one more to add to the list… And there’s also one good reason to be wary of making mamaliga again, though I had taken to often making some when I was alone for some time now.

Problem is, with hotter days coming, I definitely need to clean some more dust out of my computer, and was thinking to ask dad to help me move the desk either tomorrow or Sunday, so while I take it out I’ll also be able to spray what mold appeared again in that area as well. However, right now I’m definitely in no state to do any of that, yet the weather isn’t going to wait for me, so I have no idea what I’ll do this weekend. I guess I could simply open the case and see if that’s enough, since the old one’s CPU reported 6°C less with the case off, which is more than cleaning dust will bring, but there may be some issues with that as well.

It was announced yesterday that Opportunity holds the off-Earth roving distance record after all, the total odometry reaching 40.25 kilometers on July 27. In fact, the little rover became the holder of that record on or around April 19, when it passed 39 kilometers, but it appears that the distance traveled by Lunokhod 2 was only now recalculated yet again, being reduced to around 39 kilometers after it had been increased from 37 to over 42 last year, mere days before Opportunity reached 37.
While the press release states that the leader of the Russian team which initially recalculated the distance traveled by Lunokhod 2 was involved this time as well, it was obviously a NASA effort otherwise, which was only to be expected after the Russians’ rather amusing attempt to hold on to the lead in this aspect of the space race for a while longer despite the fact that what their space program makes the news with lately is losing control of satellites, not to mention particularly important probes. If anything, I’m rather surprised it took NASA so long to do this, but it does say they collaborated with the Russian scientists to verify that the methods used to calculate the distance traveled were comparable for the two rovers, so they probably started quite some time ago but were only now able to reach an agreement.

I was saying last year that what this shows is that there’s still a space race going on, but that most of the world’s governments, and the United States’ one in particular, don’t seem to care anymore. There are still some dedicated individuals who refuse to give up, plus some of the rest of us who just keep looking up, but the vast majority are too busy digging each other’s graves and crawling through the muck to do so, and have been for a long time… And the saddest thing about that is that they’re taking everyone and everything else down with them, and I’m definitely not only talking about other humans.

This isn’t only another personal post thrown here on Sunday because I couldn’t make myself write anything else over the weekend, but also a second personal post written this week, since I couldn’t get myself to write anything else earlier either. Been quite a while since this last happened, but there’s only one non-personal issue I found myself meaning to write about these days and there’s no way I could do it justice in a rushed and forced post, so I’ll pretty much just throw this here to say I had two posts this week as well and get it over with.
That said, I did actually manage to add a little more in my story and somehow get that average back above 250 words per day last night. Probably won’t last, not to mention that I still haven’t touched any other finished section either, but it’s been going badly ever since I finished the first part, which was a few years ago, and absolutely terribly since the middle of September, so at this point I’ll take whatever I can get and should probably be thinking about the next scene instead of writing this.

Still, I will at least quickly mention that I ended up watching no less than ten movies in five days, which is probably more than I saw during the previous two years. Now I’ll probably get back to not watching anything for the next several months, but I actually liked a few of them and, either way, it was perhaps slightly better than simply moping around and feeling like shit without doing anything at all. If anything, seeing as it’s not like I gave up on doing anything I’d have otherwise done in order to spend all those hours watching the movies, this just showed me once again how much time I spend simply sitting here, feeling too inadequate, drained or downright crushed to even try to do anything.
I am considering submitting some more things on MobyGames these days, but so far I’m stuck at considering it and haven’t even kept up with the Divinity: Original Sin reviews showing up in aggregators, so the only thing that can be said I’m actually trying to do at the moment is playing something once again. Seem to have given up on King of Dragon Pass for now, but got back to Blades of Heaven for a little while yesterday, so let’s see if that goes anywhere.

Otherwise, had another small scare regarding a small error in a SETI@home work unit, but it was explained to me that such a thing may occasionally happen despite everything running normally, the application not requiring greater accuracy because it’d be far less efficient to do so all the time instead of simply sending a work unit to an additional user when the difference between the first two results exceeds the allowed tolerance. As such, I guess there’s nothing to actually worry about when it comes to that, but it will definitely be hard to stop worrying about a potential failure in the near future, especially considering the higher temperatures.
The thing is that, though the early forecasts said that both July and August will be particularly hot, July was quite nice, yet even so the temperatures I’m seeing can be slightly worrying. Admittedly, the alert thresholds I set are very conservative, but when I checked yesterday the CPU temperature was only marginally below what would make it beep despite the cooler running at a speed I didn’t even know it was capable of, and that was on a day with a reported high of 32°C, so I’ll definitely need to clean it again and then see what else I can do, because it’s set to get hotter starting about a week from now and that’s not good news for a computer that’s over six years old and has a CPU that’s been running at 100% all this time.