Cav's Place

It’s Saturday evening and, after being out Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, when I also ran, and again today, when I went out early in the morning, without sleeping, I’m yet to add anything to the two-paragraph placeholder for the second part of the post about the marathon thrown here on Sunday. But I absolutely must finish writing that post at some point, without making yet another new one to cover last year’s marathon, at least as far as the actual run goes, so I’ll have to do that at some point, even if it’ll mean adding the vast majority of a post well over a week after the initial placeholder. And I’m forcing it to be the one that goes up to the point when I crossed the finish line in one more way by making this post about the next two runs that came after it, finally writing about regular runs again and getting to the end of October. I had considered editing this at a later time in order to add the part about the rest of October 13, after the moment when I crossed the finish line, at the beginning, but I don’t see how I could have done that by the end of next week, so I’ll mess up the chronology by putting that in a post that I’ll write at some later point, and which may also include the odds and ends from the following week or so, even if I’m otherwise not writing such odds and ends posts anymore. But that’s a matter for another time, and now I should just get to those runs.

After skipping one week, I ran again on October 23, and in that day’s early hours I started eating dinner at 3:10 AM but still managed to finish at 3:40 AM. But then I tried to update Pale Moon Portable and wanted to move the existing version into a backup folder first, yet it said that the Bin folder was still in use, so I checked whether the process had been left hanging and, after finding that it wasn’t, I canceled that move attempt and then went into Bin/Palemoon and moved all of the contents, which worked. However, I then couldn’t delete Bin and couldn’t access Bin/Palemoon at all, getting an “access denied” message even when I tried to use an elevated command prompt to take ownership of the folder or reset its properties, or when I tried various other methods that I found on a quick search… And, while I was struggling with that, I accidentally deleted the User folder… So I unpacked the new version in a different folder and got in bed at 5:20 AM.
After getting up when the alarm rang, at 2:30 PM, I mounted the system image backup made almost a month before and recovered the Pale Moon User folder from there, copying it in that new folder, but I still found no way to delete or access that stuck folder. Either way, since I had the external HDD connected, I made a backup of the other files, though I didn’t make another system image backup as well, and otherwise had the usual stuff, with the apple being a huge but spoiling Gala one, so I had to remove a fair bit of it, while the sweet thing consisted of two regular biscuits, with added honey. And it was almost 5:30 PM when I left, wearing the full running gear, but obviously returning to the old running shoes, and staying with the t-shirt from the marathon of 2023, since I hadn’t washed it yet after using it for the morning run before this year’s marathon. The reported temperature was 20°C, dropping a fair bit by the time I finished, the sites that record past temperature listing 15°C at 6:30 PM, but I forgot to check what was actually reported at 7 PM, to try to make an average with the 18-19°C reported at 6 PM.
The time was 47:41.48, with sector times of 4:16.10, 5:02.85, 5:53 (5:52.96), 4:31 (4:30.44), 5:01.25, 5:47 (5:46.66), 4:27.12, 5:03 (5:02.82), 5:53.40 and 1:48 (1:47.88), making for lap times of 15:11.91, 15:19 (15:18.35) and 15:23.34. I hoped to stay under 48 minutes, but I had no idea what I’ll be able to do at that point, so the first sector’s time was something of a relief, and sector two’s time perhaps even more so, and at the end of the lap I thought that I might just have a chance. But sector one of lap two was somewhat concerning, so I pushed more after that, being pleased with the following two sectors and the lap as a whole. Yet I was far from safe, so I kept pushing, thinking that I had to give everything in order to just squeeze under 48 minutes and worrying that I may miss out by just the seconds lost while stopping in order to see the time better, only feeling relieved when I finished the lap and saw that I was quite clearly safe. And then I managed a good final sector as well.
Those stops made in order to see the time better were one on sector two of lap three and two on sector three of lap three, each lasting a couple of seconds. And on sector two of lap three my left hip also gave some warnings, but they passed. And on sector three of lap three I hesitated and might have yet again stopped, albeit for just an instant, first when a man that I was just about to pass moved in front of me and then, moments later, when a guy on a bicycle jumped down the stairs that I was just passing and couldn’t have stopped before reaching the lane, so I did my best to avoid getting hit and he also swerved hard as soon as he touched down, and while it wasn’t such a near miss as it initially seemed, it definitely was a scary moment. And there were a few moments when I had to swallow some crap from my nose, which might have slowed me for a few seconds.

After getting back, I ate a banana and a slice of the cake which I had bought for myself two days earlier, and decided to set the computer to run a proper chkdsk on the system partition, rebooting in order to do so, and doing 200 squats as it started the check. I don’t know whether the simple reboot sorted things out or chkdsk did something, since the last time I checked I thought that it had much more to go and went to wash a pot in the kitchen, so I didn’t see whether it reported anything, but I was able to delete that stuck folder after that, and then I put that new version of Pale Moon back in the proper folder. Then I took a shower and made mamaliga. And the following day dad left me money to at least pay the previous month’s maintenance bill, so in the evening I went to do that, and then also dropped a small bag of trash down the chute, but I still didn’t go anywhere else.

The plan for the early hours of October 30 was to go to the kitchen earlier, but my mother was here again and we talked for a while, so I actually ended up going later than usual, had radish leaves to wash and boil, though I had at least selected them already, also dealt with some bread that I still hadn’t dealt with at that point, and when I got to my room I saw that some of the munchies had fallen over and they kept falling if I tried to put them back, so it took a while to figure out how to make them stay in their place again. All of that led to eating dinner between 3:40 AM and 4:30 AM, and after finishing the roes that I had left I put peanut butter on the last slices of bread. And I got in bed at 5:20 AM, after seeing a mosquito while flossing but failing to kill it.
Since the hour had changed, I set the alarm to ring at 1 PM, and even though it was 12:44 PM the last time I woke up, I decided to just get right back in bed and rest a little longer, only getting up after it rang… And soon thinking that I should have gotten up right away, since I found plenty of things to wash and arrange in the kitchen. But I took care of most of that and had the usual stuff, though the apple was another one of those huge but spoiling Gala ones and the yogurt a bio (organic) one, while the sweet thing consisted of two nicer biscuits, with added honey. I left at 3:45 PM, wearing the full running gear, sticking to the t-shirt from the marathon of 2023. The reported temperature was 18-19°C, dropping by just 1°C by the time I finished.
The time was 47:19.67, with sector times of 4:14.73, 5:09 (5:08.44), 5:58.12, 4:30.56, 4:59.03, 5:55 (5:54.41), 4:22.59, 4:50.07, 5:38 (5:37.53) and 1:44.19, making for lap times of 15:21.29, 15:24.00 and 14:50.19. I obviously hoped to still stay under 48 minutes and the first sector looked good, but the second didn’t and, while I initially thought that I’ll at least complete the first lap in less than that 15:20 that’s the target for 48 minutes, when I failed to do so things didn’t look good at all and I was quite sure that I’ll end up going well over 48 minutes. So I pushed more from the start of lap two, but sector one of lap two didn’t give me any reason to change my mind about the outcome. However, sector two of lap two was good, and after the end of the lap I knew that I needed 15:20 on lap three to have a good chance to squeeze under 48 minutes after all, so I pushed even more from the start of the lap and then really gave everything from sector two, thinking that there was no way to be safe at the end of the lap, but that I might have a chance if I’ll somehow manage to avoid losing more compared to five minutes on sector two than I’ll gain compared to six minutes on sector three… Only to find myself already safe after that outstanding sector two, assuming that I wasn’t going to go much over six minutes on sector three, and continuing to give everything led to a great sector three as well and another lap covered in less than 15 minutes… And to realizing that I should even be able to squeeze under 47:30! So I kept pushing on the final sector as well, and despite slowing on the final steps I even managed to just squeeze under 47:20!
I do have to point out that there were hardly any problems, however. The conditions were great, and while I still had to do some weaving and go the long way around, most probably once again mainly because of the lane, the only notable problem was a small one on sector three of lap three, when I hesitated and slowed because of a small dog that went straight towards me. Otherwise, there were the usual warnings from my right knee, but faint ones, and some pain in my left leg on sector one of lap two, though I couldn’t quite figure out whether it came from the knee and radiated down, from the ankle and radiated up, or from somewhere in between and radiated in both directions. But what’s important is that it didn’t last.

An old woman had just entered the building when I got here, so I held the second door open for her and asked whether she wanted to lean on me when I saw that she was struggling to climb those two steps from the entrance area, but she said that she’ll just hold on to the wall and that she was used to it, so I just turned on the light when she said that she wanted to and couldn’t quite reach the switch and otherwise stood there for what must have been some two minutes, until she managed to climb those steps, after which I handed her back her bags, which she had set down, and called the elevator for her, but I really wondered how does she manage to get around on a daily basis, and apparently even go out and do her shopping, if that’s how bad her mobility is. Either way, after getting back I ate a banana, changed, though I left the running t-shirt on, and left again a couple of minutes after 6 PM, with the recyclables with the deposit symbol.
I first checked the farmers’ market, but the one guy with a handful of cheap apples had turned on some awful music and threatened another seller who told him to turn it off, so I didn’t even approach him to check them out, meaning that it couldn’t have been any more of a waste of time if I’d have stopped at Penny on the way instead. But at least I then put the recyclables in the recycling machine from that Mega Image, though one of a kind that doesn’t usually cause problems required several attempts, and then I just cashed in that voucher before going to the metro station, since I had dad’s metro card again.
The day marked nine years since the Colectiv fire and I reached that square just before 7 PM and lit the candle which I had brought, but it tipped over when I placed it in the covered area and it was too hot to try to pick it back up with my hands, so I then broke off a small piece of a branch from a bush and used it to first grab the lid from there, after which I managed to take the candle as well. It fizzled out when I did that, and the wick ended up being too small, so it was hard to light it again, but I eventually managed it, and then took some pictures, though the low turnout was disappointing.
After grabbing two recyclables with the deposit symbol from a trash can from there, I walked away at 7:40 PM… But I tried to go the other way, which should have taken me to Unirii a little faster but only proved yet again that the shortest route is the one you know, since I ended up turning in the wrong direction. At least, after finally realizing that I really wasn’t where I should have been and initially going the wrong way from there as well, I turned around and went in the direction that pretty quickly got me to the Tineretului metro station, when continuing in the other direction would have meant a longer walk right back to Timpuri Noi, where I had gotten off the first time. Then again, I’d have just had to take the metro for one stop from there as well, which was what I did from Tineretului, the fact that I had the card being so fortunate, and I also picked up another recyclable with the deposit symbol from the station.
After getting off at Unirii, I went to Carrefour, put those recyclables in the recycling machine, and considered leaving right away and going somewhere else when I didn’t initially see anything interesting among the expiring products. However, after having previously noticed that the bakery discounts may even be applied before 9 PM in that location, I decided to pee and wash my hands and then see whether they’ll apply at 8:30 PM, and by the time I knew that they didn’t it was getting too late to still go somewhere else. But another reason why I had chosen to stay was that I had seen that they had made room in the expiring products area and hoped that they’ll bring more, and when I went back there I saw that they had, and the new products actually included something that I had even been sort of considering buying at full price, so I got one, along with another yogurt, plus a bag of spoiling apples, obviously without charging myself for the bag that they were in at the self-checkout, where I also used the voucher received for previous purchases as well as the one received for those recyclables. Then I arranged the purchases in the backpack and returned to the metro station, picking up some more recyclables with the deposit symbol on the way there and yet more after getting off here, since I switched trains and actually got off at this stop.
After getting back, at 9:25 PM, I cleaned the litter box and went to drop a bag of trash down the chute, put the purchases in their place, ate the protein pudding received after the marathon, and did the day’s squats. And then dad removed the stove top and at 11 PM I went to the bathroom, first using the toilet, then washing that, including the grates, and then washing myself, finally being done a little before 1:25 AM. Then I washed and cleaned some more in the kitchen and made pizza, finally eating between 5:05 AM and 6:55 AM. I got in bed at 7:35 AM, but despite falling asleep quickly at first, I couldn’t get back to sleep after getting up to pee a couple of minutes before 11 AM, and if I was drifting off I was awake again within what was probably seconds, after starting to dream about one of my fears, so while it was almost 1:30 PM when I actually got up, those first three hours of sleep were basically all I got. At least I caught a nap in the evening, but then I got in bed again at 5:20 AM.

I’ll now be picking up from where I left off, but as I already mentioned, this is initially just a placeholder, once again scheduled to be posted at 11:59 PM, since I’m once again going out in the evening. And, after getting up and doing the day’s squats, I rolled the dice for my little giveaway on the GOG.com forums, even filming the process, though I didn’t upload the videos anywhere… And I forgot the water for the tea on the stove while doing that, so it’s a really good thing that it didn’t spill over badly enough to put out the fire once again when it started boiling, since it was close to an hour before I went back there and realized it, so it’d have been the equivalent of a huge gas leak otherwise, despite the window being left ajar. Either way, doing that, then shaving as well, and then watching the handball match and eating lunch, with an entire large bag of corn puffs instead of bread, means I’m very hastily throwing together this placeholder, limited just to this paragraph and the following one, at half time, since I’ll need to leave right after the match. And it was weeks later, on the evening of February 6, when I finally edited the post in order to add more, and by that I mean four more paragraphs, up to the one about kilometers 30 to 32, while the rest was only added on June 7, by which time I had obviously forgotten even more.

I mentioned in the first part that my calculations started from reaching the halfway point with an official time below 1:50 and, despite failing to catch the 1:50 half marathon pacemakers, I managed to do so, having almost half a minute in hand at that point. That was very little, but it gave me a chance, if I managed to really stick to the plan from then on. And that plan required 5:30 per kilometer until 25 km, then averaging six minutes per kilometer for the next ten kilometers, most preferably staying under that time for the first five in order to be able to go over six minutes by a similar total time for the following five, then averaging 6:30 per kilometer for kilometers 36 to 40, and then seven minutes per kilometer for 41 and 42, which would have left me with a minute and a half, or close to two minutes if I also added what I had gained before reaching the halfway point, for that final portion.
I also already mentioned in the first part a few times obtained in the later part of the race, but now I’ll go through things chronologically and in more detail, starting from the fact that, while the number of runners obviously dropped drastically at the halfway point, when the half marathon runners finished their race, the fact that I was focused on staying ahead of the 3:45 pacemakers until 22 km and then ate that bar, stayed right behind those pacemakers for a little while longer and worked through the numbers and possible strategies, meant that I only really noticed it after turning off Unirii Boulevard, past the National Library, when those pretty empty first couple of hundred meters also made it all too obvious, and quite disheartening, since I found myself without targets to chase… And without people to stay behind, and staying behind others as much as possible was an important part of my strategy, and I tried to do it whenever possible, to use them to reduce air resistance and get whatever advantage I could, especially when I was running against the wind. And this likely made quite a difference because, while the wind was fortunately not that bad, it turned during the run, so I ran against it more than I had to in previous years.
Either way, I was pleased to see that I reached 25 km 21:59 after passing the halfway point, so while that actually meant an average of a little more than 5:30 per kilometer, the halfway point being at just about 21.1 km, it was nevertheless on target. But, while the plan allowed me to get slower after that point, it couldn’t be by much, any gains compared to six minutes per kilometer until 30 km being what I was going to be able to afford to lose compared to that same target until 35 km. And just after 25 km there was a refreshment point and then I was once again running against the wind, plus that I was starting to feel myself tiring, so being careful with my strategy and taking advantage of any chance to stay behind another runner was even more important. And, speaking of that, there was a somewhat funny moment on that part of the route, well before it turned, when I had spent a little time behind another runner and then passed two others just when one was telling the other that during the race that she had been telling him about you’re not allowed to take it easier by staying behind another.
After passing 27 km, so probably before the turn, which was around or maybe a little after 27.5 km, my tiredness became increasingly notable, and while the lack of detailed notes and the amount of time that passed since then make me uncertain about this, I seem to remember being surprised that it seemed like I was still running against the wind, which seemed to have turned pretty much at the same time I did. Then again, I remember checking the forecast and seeing that it was actually supposed to start turning around the time when I’ll reach that turn, but that it was going to take about an hour to completely reverse, yet at that point, if I remember correctly, it really seemed that it was determined to make me run against it in both directions on that part of the route. And it was around 29 km, so probably just before passing that gas station the second time, when I’d say that I hit the wall. The great thing was that I still felt no notable pressing need, the fact that I was also, shall we say, releasing gas whenever I felt something, even accepting the slight risk of something else coming along with it, likely also helping to reduce the pressure which would have otherwise built up. But hitting the wall with 13 km to go, and even before the point from which I could allow myself to get slower, was a serious concern.
I still managed to push myself to cover that 30th kilometer in just under six minutes, but then things got really bad, the fact that there was a refreshment point on the 31st kilometer not being enough of an excuse for how much over six minutes it took me to cover it. I don’t recall whether it was just before or just after reaching 31 km when I took out the first piece of garlic and ate it, but even if it was before that marker, that didn’t justify such a loss of time either, since I seem to remember something around, and possibly just over, 6:30… And then the next kilometer was even slower, around 6:50 from what I recall. It might have been a little less than 6:50 but, either way, it meant that just over those two kilometers I had lost all of the time gained over the previous five, so all that I could afford to lose until 35 km. Admittedly, I ate the salt bar during that 32nd kilometer, before reaching Unirii Boulevard again, and slowed to a walk a couple of times while doing so, but I had done that just because I felt that I couldn’t keep running at that point and really needed those moments of relative rest.
Seeing as I’m only writing what follows on June 7, my memory’s far from reliable, but things obviously looked bad at that point, and while a new personal best, beating what I managed in 2022, still seemed possible, staying under four hours didn’t. But that’d have been too frustrating, getting even closer but still failing, especially after thinking back then that I might have been able to make it if I’d have believed it early enough, so after 32 km I got my head down and dug in, telling myself to embrace the suck, and it gradually started working. I really couldn’t say what the times actually were anymore, but what’s clear is that I did a much better job at keeping the loss of time in check, that additional refreshment point that was on the 34th kilometer and just offered water not making things worse either, so I actually still had a minute in hand at 35 km.
Since after that point the initial plan allowed for 30 seconds more per kilometer, things were going to start looking better if I could just keep doing what I had been doing for the past couple of kilometers… But that didn’t seem likely, so I still thought that it was going to be a matter of keeping the loss of time in check all the way to 40 km, also taking into account the refreshment points on kilometers 36 and 40 and the moments when I planned to take the gel and the liquid magnesium, to give myself every chance to stick to the initial plan on the last 2.2 km and somehow just make it. And I obviously also looked for the 4:00 pacemakers after turning and tried to get an idea of how far behind they were, but it’s much harder to estimate that than it is to see how far behind your are and, either way, I don’t remember what I might have estimated at that point in any way. But what’s clear is that, rather than just limiting the loss of time over those five kilometers, I pretty much avoided it. It’s even possible that I gained a little bit, though I can’t really remember and the difference must have been small either way. But what I do know is that, when I dug in my pocket for that gel, I think on the 39th kilometer, I realized that I didn’t have it. I believe I even took out everything that was left in that pocket, which obviously meant losing a little time, but it just wasn’t there, so I’d have had a pretty serious problem if I wouldn’t have changed my intake strategy, being left with nothing for the latter part of the race, but as it was, it was more of a bonus that I could spare, since I still had the liquid magnesium to take at that point, which I did. And then I had the rest of the garlic, though the large piece was too strong to chew directly, so I kept it in my mouth for a long time.
As I already mentioned in the first part, keeping that garlic in my mouth led to keeping the piece of banana taken from that last refreshment point in my hand for a long time and only finally eating it towards the end. But what did make a difference was that liquid magnesium, which I do believe kicked in to reduce my cramps and perceived fatigue enough to allow me to keep that minute that I had in hand, and in fact add a few more seconds to it by the end. Admittedly, that takes into account the fact that I had planned to cover those last 2.2 km in 15 minutes, so it doesn’t exactly mean that I was faster, but I felt more comfortable, more confident, and I’m pretty sure that it’d have been really tight without it, a matter of seconds, and I’m not sure on which side. But at 41 km I finally realized that I could really make it… And, since the 2024 World Masters Athletics Marathon Championship was hosted by Bucharest Marathon and the participants had their names and age categories listed along with the numbers, seeing those people in their 60s and 70s, and even one who was 80, get past me and easily pull ahead, especially during those final kilometers, was both humbling and inspiring, and it might have spurred me on just a little harder. So I just kept pushing, having gone from wondering whether I was even going to finish to thinking that there was no way to do so in less than four hours, then that I was likely to end up no more than a few seconds on either side of that target, then to wondering whether I could keep a minute to spare, and finally to believing that I had finally done it, which belief turned to certainty, to knowledge, as I watched the time above the finish line as I approached it, the official time being 3:58:47, with a net time of 3:57:49.

Not that doing anything else is any different, but since sticking to the rule of having two posts per week is pretty much the one thing that I haven’t given up on but writing’s just harder and harder and ever more pointless, I was seriously thinking of giving up on that idea as well this year, possibly sticking to just one post per week, if even that, and no longer caring about the personal ones being less than half of the total either. But, at least at this point, I’m thinking that I really shouldn’t do that, because it really is the one thing left in a year for which I really have no goals.
At least 2024 worked out from that point of view, achieving the actual major one of completing a marathon with an official time below four hours before turning 40. And I also finally got a new computer and started using it, even if it still feels like something improvised, the lack of security software, or even a proper backup routine, being good reasons for that, along with the uncertainty about the main NVMe, though the problem is yet to reappear after that second time. Either way, I also, however barely, managed to continue the streak of reading 12 proper books per year, and even managed to finish five games, even if 2020 remains the last year when I fully achieved the gaming goal, which would involve finishing at least four “proper” games, something that I’d just quickly get through being allowed as an optional fifth, and in 2024 there were three “proper” games and two little things that I just quickly got through at the end of the year, plus that I still haven’t gotten around to writing the reviews for those three games and I’m wondering more and more whether I ever will, things being as they are when it comes to writing. I mean, the marathon result was such a major achievement I hadn’t even started writing about that run by the end of the year, and now that I finally did, I had no chance of completing the post even one week after starting it, so I left it as just a first part and tomorrow, when I once again plan to go out, I definitely won’t be able to post more than a placeholder for the second part.
So I guess that the one thing that I can still push myself to do is just this, to still post here, and maybe this will also lead to writing those reviews, as well as those for what I’ll finish this year, and I hope that finally having a new computer will make me play more. Then again, I did feel more like playing games again in 2024 as well. And that order of books that’s already a month late should give me more to read when it’ll finally arrive, so this year’s reading list shouldn’t be an issue either. But other than those regular minor goals, I don’t have anything. I mean, that’s pretty much it with the computer, and in terms of running, I didn’t and won’t register for this year’s marathon, not wanting to put myself through that again just yet now that I achieved the goal and would be highly unlikely to do so again, and not meaning to start looking into ultramarathons quite yet. I wouldn’t even say that running one is a specific goal at this point, so I’ll just say that I’m tempted by the idea, maybe even by that of running 100 km at least before turning 50, if not even 45, but I don’t exactly have options around here, or even in the country, since I definitely wouldn’t go for trail running, and either way I don’t want to start preparing for that this year, the idea at this point being to run the marathon again in 2026, see where I stand at that point and then go from there. As for shorter runs, yes, I’m registered for the half marathon, but after completing it with an official time below 1:45 in 2022, I no longer have goals for that, as it seems unlikely that I’ll achieve such a good official time again and simply completing a half marathon, in less than two hours, because more than that would be truly embarrassing, doesn’t count for anything.
And yes, this is also something written just in order to have the week’s first post, my initial idea having been to make the year’s first “New Finds” post instead but not having enough bands to include in it right away and really not feeling like specifically looking just now, plus that when it comes to new music it’s getting harder to be certain that it’s not AI… And in fact I’ve been noticing surprisingly good AI-generated music and was wondering about actually making a post about such “acts”. But that’s a matter for another time.
To return to the lack of goals for 2025, I had been thinking about this lately, and in fact ever since I ran that marathon, and I simply have nothing. I had that target that seemed so dauntingly out of reach for several years and, after that initial feeling of accomplishment, I found that finally achieving it left me quite empty, because it wasn’t a stepping stone to something else, like the half marathon targets had been, and it’s not something that I think I can or even want to try to repeat or sustain. And I had also been thinking of getting a new computer for so many years and now that I finally have it, I must settle on it, consider this as being something final, because I’m anxious enough about it anyway and can’t allow myself to think of possible changes. And, other than those regular reading and gaming goals, and this one about the blog that I was so close to giving up on, I have nothing else. And I really don’t want to have anything else; I have no drive to do other things and really don’t want to just start looking for something. After all, I never wanted to exist in the first place, and that only changed during the periods when things were going well between us while I was living with Andra… And look what that led to…
On that note, this September 27 will mark 20 years since she left, so talk about a milestone year, only in the worst way possible… If you look at it from that point of view, it’s no wonder I’m feeling so empty. I mean, just surviving this would be an achievement in itself… Not that there’s any shred of a reason to want to, except the same one as always, that dying after suffering through life and without something happening to somehow make it be worth all of that would be terribly disappointing, to say the least… And so we just keep struggling along, adding to the pain and suffering, our own and that of others and of the world as a whole…

The year ended and I still haven’t written about the marathon other than to just mention the result that day, not even the notes are fleshed out, and even what I do have was written quite some time after the fact, so plenty of details are quite clearly gone or altered in my mind. And this was my most important run, so I have to enter damage limitation mode, push aside any ideas of doing it properly, writing it all at once or even having a good chance of editing the post in order to add everything by the end of next week, and at least start, even if with only this first section that’s little more than a placeholder, ending at the start and scheduled to be posted at 11:59 PM, because of being out for most of today. But I did manage to make a first edit in the early hours of Thursday, covering the first part of the race, ending with the paragraph about catching and being caught by the pacemakers, so getting a little past the halfway point. And that was it, because it was clear that I wasn’t going to be able to finish this by the end of the week, so in the early hours of Saturday I just added this sentence and changed the title of the post to reflect that it’s only a first part, though when I remembered the bit about flipping off the Russian Embassy I did make another edit in order to add that as well, even if it was so much later, in the early hours of March 6.

To start with the evening of October 12, I tried to make the salad during the national team’s match, also eating a few walnuts and a bag of nicer bagels during that time, but when the match was about to end I had only eaten a few of those bagels, so I then finished that bag, eating about half of it right after the match ended, and the salad was far from being done, and I also jabbed my palm with the knife, though at least it was the left one. And, once done, the salad yet again ended up being somewhat bigger than I meant it to be. But I also made the tea, and then ate dinner, with peanut butter on all of the bread, between 1 AM and 1:30 AM. And then I’d have wanted to take one of those pills against gas, but when I asked dad for two he only found one, which I’d have been wary of taking if I had a choice, since it’s in paper and it was in a bag that he carries around with him, but as it was, I saved it for the morning. Either way, after eating I shaved, then lit the aromatherapy lamp again and got things ready for the morning, writing the emergency information on the back of the number, seeing that the problem’s the material that’s hard to write on, pinning the number on the t-shirt while wearing it and being a little less strict about doing it just right, putting the wet wipes, garlic and Smecta Go in the pocket of my tights and the other things in the bag, just leaving the bars, gel and liquid magnesium to add in the morning, and also putting the cereals, baked almonds with Himalayan salt and raisins in dark chocolate into a bowl, so only the nice, low-fat, high-protein, “Greek” yogurt was left to add in the morning. And, after also putting some cream on my hands and feet, I got in bed at 3:40 AM, with the alarm set to ring at 6 AM.
Well, I couldn’t get to sleep. I might have dozed off for just an instant after a little while, but I’m not even sure of that, and I was definitely wide awake again within moments even if I did, and then I tossed and turned for a long time. I never checked the time, but it was long enough to get annoyed, and I continued to be awake for some time after that started to happen, so I have no idea when I finally fell asleep. But at least I did at some point, for some time, because just before the alarm rang I was awake again, my internal clock seeming to work very well from that point of view, because I barely had time to think that I should probably check the time when the alarm rang. So I then got up, ate the huge Gala apple set aside for the morning and added the yogurt into that bowl and ate that as well. Then I took the supplements, except the second pill of the iron and the one for joints, somewhat surprisingly left something in the toilet, also ate two nicer biscuits, with added honey, took that pill against gas and a Smecta, with most of the tea, and put the bars and liquid magnesium, as well as the last iron pill, in the pocket of my tights. Yes, that means I forgot the gel, though I only realized that when I needed it. Either way, I left a few minutes before 8 AM, with dad, who drove me to the metro station and then came along to insert his metro card, so I could use it to get there even though he was going to need it the rest of the day. I was wearing the full running gear, and the forecast listed about 13°C at the start time of 9 AM and about 18°C at 1 PM, when I aimed to finish.
The metro came right away and when I reached the starting area I saw that it was separated into sectors once again, with entrances on the side that were placed at the front of each sector. But, since the assigned sectors weren’t written on the numbers, the choice of which sector to enter was left completely to the runners. Either way, I was at Constitution Square a little before 8:25 AM and had a look around, only spotting apples and bananas in the Mega Image area, so I took one of each and ate the banana. Then, after taking the last iron pill, I handed off my bag at the wardrobe just after 8:40 AM, did a few quick stretching exercises while waiting in line at the toilets, peed, washed my hands at one of those portable things, and then made my way back to the starting area and initially entered sector C, for times between 3:30:00 and 3:59:59, but then went under the band separating it from sector B, for times below 3:30:00, and advanced a few steps in that sector. That put me very much out of position, but I was far from the only one and it obviously cut some seconds not only off my start time, but also off the first kilometer’s time, if not even more than that. And I ate the fruit bar while waiting for the start.

I started the stopwatch when the announcer gave the start, but I heard the gun a few seconds earlier and that proved to have been the real start, so I had 53 seconds and a lot, almost 54 seconds, when I crossed the start line, but the real start time was almost 58 seconds, making it the second best, after the 53 seconds from 2021. Strangely, this time around it’s not listed separately in the official results, but the difference between the official time and the net time is 58 seconds at the end and at six of the eight intermediate times and 57 seconds at the other two intermediate times.
If I was going to have any chance of staying under four hours, this had to be a particularly calculated and tactical run, so I was slow at first, losing time in the crowd instead of weaving to make my way through or sprinting when there was an opening, and I ended up covering the first kilometer in 5:48. That’s one of the few times that I clearly memorized and included in my notes, but I know that the second kilometer was less slow, even if still concerning if taken on its own, and I was finally in clearer air and could obtain better times from the third kilometer. However, I missed the markers for five and six kilometers, so I never knew those times at all, but it seems likely that the fifth kilometer was the first one covered in less than five minutes, since the total time for kilometers five, six and seven was 15:17, making for an average of less than 5:06 per kilometer, and the first refreshment point was on the sixth and that climb was on the seventh. But the fastest kilometer was, somewhat unintentionally, the tenth, which I covered in 4:49. And another, and I believe the last, kilometer covered in less than five minutes was the 12th, which I covered in 4:58. On the other hand, the first time I went over six minutes was on the 31st kilometer, and it was by a lot. And I also know that I covered the 42nd kilometer in 6:31 and that final portion in 1:12. What’s unclear is whether I ever went over seven minutes per kilometer, since I seemed to do so on the 38th, I don’t recall by how much, but I didn’t see the marker on the road in the spot where the sign was, which made me think that the sign had ended up being placed some distance past the marker and it’s possible that I never went over seven minutes per kilometer after all.
To go back a little and explain why I said that I was somewhat unintentionally fastest on the tenth kilometer, I’ll say that it was a result of noticing a key falling on the road and putting in a burst of speed in order to catch up to the guy who I thought had dropped it, to let him know. It’d have obviously been nicer if I’d have picked it up and handed it to him, but I was already past it by the time I thought to do something and I wasn’t going to go back for someone else, so I just hope that he was the right guy and I didn’t make a different person go back for no reason. The fact that he asked whether it had fallen out of his pocket and then rushed back made that likely, but I was never certain. On the other hand, I’ll also mention here that I flipped off the Russian Embassy when I passed by it the second time, around the 11 km mark, so when I actually was on that side of the road. Briefly and rather covertly, but I had to at least do that little thing.
To also get to the refreshment points, I changed my approach to them as well, in good part after exchanging a few messages with someone, so instead of making the most of each, I limited my intake, quite drastically for the first part of the race, just taking a cup of water at the first regular one, as well as at the additional ones, which were on the 23rd and 34th kilometers, where only water was offered, while at the third regular one I only took a cup of the other drink. As for the other regular ones, I took a cup of that other drink and a piece of banana, though I kept the piece of banana taken from the last refreshment point in my hand for quite a while, only eating it towards the end, since I had garlic in my mouth until then. And I also delayed eating the first bar, which I had initially planned to do at 14 km, on that short but steep climb, until the second half of the race. And that did have the desired result, preventing that pressing need from appearing, and I actually got to the end without any notable problem from that point of view, which was definitely what made all the difference, being the first condition if I was to have any chance, but it led to feeling out of energy after leaving Cismigiu Park, so even before reaching 16 km, and I was obviously slowing, since I was getting passed left and right by others and felt really out of position, and on the 17th kilometer my hands were already going numb, which was a really bad sign. But then I got my head down, accepted and adapted to how I was feeling, and eventually, as I increased my intake, things even got better for a while.
While I’m still at the first half of the race, I’ll add that my targets during that time were the pacemakers for 3:45 and the half marathon ones for 1:50. They pulled ahead early on, when I was so slow because of the crowd, but I caught the 3:45 ones on the seventh kilometer, before that climb, and then pulled ahead. On the other hand, I never caught the 1:50 ones for the half marathon. Despite something seeming to be really wrong with my right knee on the 13th kilometer, making me sort of throw that leg forward, hoping to shake off the problem and apparently managing to do so after a while, I was just about to catch those pacemakers just before that short but bad climb at 14 km, but then I fell a little behind again because of it, even if approaching it slightly differently made it feel somewhat less exhausting, and I didn’t recover that distance before the refreshment point from Cismigiu Park, where they pulled ahead even more. And then, as the effects of that reduced intake were making themselves known and I was feeling out of energy, I definitely had no hope of catching them anymore and could only watch as they pulled farther and farther ahead. However, they were faster than they needed to be, so failing to catch them didn’t also mean failing to reach the halfway point in less than 1:50, which was basically what my calculations were starting from, my official time at that point being 1:49:33. On the other hand, the 3:45 pacemakers had also been catching up by then, in fact being right behind me when I got going again after the fourth refreshment point, so I pushed to stay ahead of them until the halfway point, and then continued to do so until 22 km, only then finally pulling out that bar which I had purchased after getting the race kit, and only starting to eat it right before that first additional refreshment point, as we went past Constitution Square again, where I also took that cup of water and they overtook me.

I seem to have picked this up for free at some point, and the fact that it aims to push an ideology on a younger audience makes it the sort of book that probably needs to be free. So, while, unlike what I assume to be the tremendous majority of people, I consider the message as a positive and support it for the most part, even including the depicted methods, my age puts me well outside of that target audience… Not that the, if I may use the term, quite mature level of brutality from the first chapter doesn’t make me have some doubts about that, as do a handful of more complicated words used later, but when the rest of the book features what I’d tend to call cartoon violence, along with something of a fairy tale setting on that extraordinarily advanced ship that otherwise seems like a Green dream, I’ll assume that those are slips.
Then again, some things may make sense at the end, and I must say that I didn’t see that coming, but rather than feeling that things are falling into place, that plot twist made the whole thing feel pointless instead… And it also makes it hard to comment without risking to spoil anything, so I’ll move on to other matters and say that I didn’t like that everything was presented by an apparently omniscient narrator who seemed to even keep spelling out what each character was thinking, even though everything except that first chapter is from Henry’s point of view. But worse is the conflict between the seriousness of the matter and the immaturity of the presentation and of the characters, that target audience only going so far as an excuse. And Barnaby was way too infuriating for any excuse, as was the hazing. And, as a small matter, I wondered what was with those specified and emphasized weights. Not that a few other numbers weren’t also overly specific and emphasized, but those seemed to stick out the most.

Rating: 2/5