The latest studies I heard of state that, on average, human bodies start to degrade, both physically and mentally, at the age of 28. Supposedly sustained training can make this degradation practically unnoticeable until around 35, and mental abilities that have been developed at a young age and rely on performing repetitive actions are an exception and can continue to be improved even well into the 60s, but either way I guess I can now quite clearly say that I’m getting old. I mean, it’s not going to be getting any better from a physiological point of view, so there’s something else to add on top of why I won’t be able to do shit anymore, seeing as I can’t even now.
But who the fuck cares? In truth, it just marks the end of one year of suffering and of being “undead” and the start of another. You can say that September 27 should mark that, or August 15, or that day in November that I’m not sure about but is probably 16 or so, but this actually has to do with me and is near enough to the others, actually being between those dates, plus that it actually implies the passage of time while the others largely only imply static memories, so it is how it is.
So, unless you’re Andra and by some miracle actually intend to make sure it will be a happy day for me, kindly take anything, traditional or otherwise, that you may want to wish me today, and shove it, all right?
Even though I’m clearly not up to making enough sense to participate myself, so didn’t register this year, I would like to remind everyone that Blog Action Day is tomorrow and that this year’s theme is “The Power of We”, so it makes perfect sense to participate if you think you’re able because, well, being a part of a greater movement is precisely what it’s all about. Just register your blog and then pick an example where a group of people gathered together for a cause and accomplished something, or perhaps better yet one where you wish they would, or be more theoretical and write a guide about making a group of people who don’t otherwise know each other but have gathered together for a common goal more efficient; it’s your choice.
Personally, I favor the idea of small groups, a few people who realize that they have a common goal and work together to reach it, even if they may well be opponents on other issues. When it comes to the masses, it’s generally an issue of which small group, or even which individual, manipulates and uses them better. You may still say that even that’s the power of the group, but I think it’s more like how the general who could afford to send enough troops ahead as cannon fodder tended to win the battle, so a matter of the power of the numbers that can be mustered and directed, which I say is somewhat different.
But I said I can’t make enough sense to get involved this year, and at this rate it seems unlikely that I ever will again, especially considering the date. I only wanted to remind everyone that it exists and that this year it has a very interesting and fitting topic, so go ahead and register if you think that you have something interesting to say on the topic.
I need to wake up someday and find her next to me, holding me close and telling that it was all just a terribly bad dream. Can’t just keep being certain that it’ll happen for that instant while I’m probably still asleep but aware of waking up, only to realize that I’m still alone and nothing has changed each and every time. Can’t just keep waking up only to either stay in bed or get up just to pace around the room, thinking for hours of might-have-beens.
Anything else, or at least anything bar perhaps an even greater miracle, can’t make much of a difference anymore. Or at least not much of a positive difference, since of course things can always get much worse.
There are things I want to do, things I feel I have to do, countless ideas I need to let out of my head, either to give them a more “real” shape or simply to put them into words and leave them out there… And none of that can ever happen when I’m so crushed by missing her that it truly feels like a physical weight pressing down on me and making it so very hard to even breathe, much less think properly or actually do anything else.
I was saying that I wanted to make it to the end of the year without breaking any of my major “rules” for this blog, before giving up on one of them in January, but at this rate I can only say that I should make it to the end of this month, and even that will take some effort. What I’ll do for November and December, I have no clue at the moment, but I guess I’ll somehow think of something by then and struggle along as I always have. Admitting that I can’t keep this up in any way anymore is bad enough; have to at least try to make the switch at a “proper” time…
At least my entry for Materia Magica was just approved on MobyGames. That was a real pain to write and I worried and tinkered with it for a few days before eventually thinking that it might just be, if not necessarily good enough, at least not particularly bad, but I had to take advantage of this moment when the topic of such games was brought up on the forums. I had to submit it as a browser game, listing a launch date that’s a decade after the actual launch date, but there’s no platform-independent “platform” and it doesn’t seem like there will be one in any foreseeable future, so it was the only way to get this game that I played for some six years listed at all… And now I’m hoping that some who are still playing it may come and fill in the missing information or make whatever corrections may be necessary, since I largely wrote that description from memory and was forced to largely ignore all the features added since I quit.
Otherwise, I have quite a cold, but for the past two days I’ve been feeling much worse than the cold itself could account for because on Friday I also sprayed something in two areas in my room where I had noticed mold starting to appear again and that irritated my nose terribly. I thought it won’t be much, so just quickly sprayed without even wrapping anything around my nose and mouth and then didn’t even leave the room immediately afterwards, instead relying on the open window to take care of the worst of it and sitting here to talk to Tiel, since it seemed that, for the first time in months, we were having something of a real conversation, but I sure paid for that.
It was most likely due to the fact that this irritation was added on top of the existing cold, but until last night I kept feeling as if there were bugs crawling up my nose, plus of course the fact that it was very stuffy and I had long sneezing fits whenever I tried to do anything about that, and sometimes even if I wasn’t. Now that finally seems to be over, but now there’s of course some crap that made its way down my throat and perhaps a little into lungs as well and I’m feeling slightly feverish, so it may be a while yet.
This came completely out of nowhere, but a press statement posted today announced that Nightwish and Anette Olzon have decided to part ways. The band won’t cancel any of their scheduled concerts, however, as Floor Jansen will take Anette’s place for the remainder of the tour. At the same time, it seems unlikely that she’ll abandon ReVamp in order to become their new vocalist in the long-term, so soon enough I imagine that a new search for a new vocalist will start.
An explanation for the reason why this happened now, in the middle of the tour, can perhaps be pieced together from what both the band and Anette posted about Friday’s concert in Denver. At least as far as I can tell, Anette has these current health problems, which may simply be a bad flu coupled with stress but nevertheless prevent her from performing properly, but more importantly discovered a more serious issue during the tests she had done, so it’s highly uncertain that she’d have been able to keep up with the touring schedule at least in the near future. At the same time, she made it clear that she was unhappy with the fact that the concert in question went ahead while she was in hospital, after the band was able to find temporary replacements almost instantly, so it would appear that she’d have wanted any concerts which she wouldn’t have been able to attend, and these issues mean that there might have been a fair number of those, to be canceled, while the band made it perfectly clear that they have no intention of canceling any of those that have already been scheduled.
On the other hand, while this explanation pieced together from a few blog and Facebook posts may be sufficient for some, the press release quite clearly states that there had been tensions building up for some time, so I’d sure like them to be as open as they were seven years ago and explain exactly when it all started and what’s been going on instead of releasing this text that hints at other issues but is basically devoid of any real explanations or details.
All in all, this opens up some interesting options for their next album, if there will be one, especially since they were already going to wait a long time before it, with Tuomas having already stated that he had a personal project that he really wanted to work on as soon as he’ll find some time. What this means is that they’ll have plenty of time for the new search and perhaps this time they’ll do it better, as in find the new vocalist before writing the songs, to make sure that her voice will fit it better than Anette’s voice fit Dark Passion Play and there won’t be another, shall we say, accommodation album before their next masterpiece.
At the same time, Imaginaerum will be released next month and having the band members as seen at launch, and also during the final and most important stretch of the promotional period, differ from those who recorded the album the film is connected to, and who also appear in the film itself, will certainly be quite a problem, so I’m wondering how they’ll tackle that under the current circumstances.
