Cav's Place

Not that the effects and connections don’t go much wider, but since this is what this particular instance affects, I’m sure that at least everyone with any interest in gaming is by now very much aware of what’s been going on for the past couple of weeks, when a campaign led by an Australian activist group apparently convinced the major credit card companies to threaten stores with blocking transactions unless they remove many X-rated titles. Some are now trying to deflect the blame, but what’s clear is that Steam bowed right away and quietly, only confirming it a couple of days later, and itch.io caved in a pretty extreme manner a few days after that, though at least they released a statement about it, and a couple of days ago they announced allowing free X-rated titles again.
Not that things like this haven’t been going on for quite some time, but now they reached new heights and they come at a time when new checks and restrictions are also being enforced by law, notably the Online Safety Act in the UK and new guidelines that include age verification as part of the Digital Services Act in the EU. So the assault seems to be coming from all sides at once, governments, corporations and activists joining hands, and resistance is crumbling, the Internet rapidly becoming a much more censored and restricted place instead of what it was and should be, which is a place of freedom, an ever better method of escaping the claws of censorship, be it the “traditional” kind generally employed by conservatives and authoritarian regimes or the “cancel culture” pushed forward by “progressives” that in recent years challenged and in some areas even surpassed the others. And, on the other hand, it’s not as if the dangers of moving away from cash and the benefits of sticking to it, recognized even by the European Central Bank, aren’t plainly obvious for anyone who cares to see.
But this post is mainly about the issue that affects game stores, and I must say that I was quite surprised by itch.io’s reaction, seeing as, if you sorted their catalog before the change according to the best selling paid titles, you saw pages and pages that consisted almost entirely of X-rated titles, so removing them, and adding new guidelines that ban their addition in the future, is likely to eliminate the large majority of their revenue, so I have serious doubts about them being able to stay afloat after this, even if they are looking for other payment processors. But I’m pleased to say that others are openly fighting back, and while the name of one campaign strikes me as wrong, since it’s the payment processors and the power they wield that’s the real problem, far more than that activist group, the petition takes aim at the real culprits and may have its scope expanded in light of the recent legislative measures, to push back more strongly against such censorship and restrictions. And there is another campaign as well, which lists more suggested actions, albeit with a wider scope in one area and a narrower one in another. And then you have developers speaking out, and even a statement by the International Game Developers Association, though that’s too nuanced for my liking, taking aim at the lack of clarity more than at the restrictions themselves.
However, since it’s the stores that are directly affected by this and the ones that really have to put up a fight if we are to have any chance of at least halting the process, not to mention any hope of even thinking about reversing it, and it was also nice to see today’s announcement from Zoom Platform, I was particularly pleased and emboldened by the announcement made by GOG.com yesterday, clearly stating that they oppose and will fight back against such censorship, and not even trying to directly gain from it, but in fact promoting the campaign by offering a bundle of no less than 13 titles, or 14 if you consider Agony and Agony: Unrated as different, for free for 48 hours, with 30.5 hours left at the time I’m posting this. The other titles are Being a DIK: Season 1, Fetish Locator: Week One, Helping the Hotties, House Party, HuniePop, Leap of Faith (including the Official Walkthrough), Leap of Love, Lust Theory: Season 1, Postal 2: Complete (not including Paradise Lost), Sapphire Safari, Summer’s Gone: Season 1 and Treasure of Nadia. And if you’re interested you can then also grab the three free DLCs for House Party. You can’t pick only certain titles, you don’t get codes to give away for those you already own, you can’t gift the bundle, and it is apparently completely blocked in countries where any of the included titles are blocked, but there is an easy workaround for those who do want to obtain it from such countries, without bothering with VPNs. Now it remains to be seen how they’ll be affected by this, but while they’ve given me ample reasons to vehemently criticize and attack them for more than a decade, I’ll say that this is a good moment to show support… And, of course, also to very seriously consider switching to other payment methods if you’ve been using credit cards, PayPal or Stripe…

It’s been ten years since I last wrote about women’s football, but I tend to follow the major national team competitions when they’re televised here, so I’m not comparing with what I saw back then, or with the differences in the level of professionalism that I was pointing out, when I say that I was quite impressed by this year’s Euro. There is the fact that more recently even some matches from our championship started being televised and I happened to catch at least parts of a handful of them, and the level seen there might have made these matches appear even more impressive by comparison, but I hope that I managed to compare apples to apples well enough, and the discussion about our championship is an entirely different one, as is the one about our national team and its performance compared to the men’s, despite the incomparably different levels of resources and interest.
Returning to the Euro, it must really be said that women’s football shouldn’t be seen as a different sport anymore, and I made a mental note when one of our commentators corrected himself, to stress that it’s the women’s championship of football, not the championship of women’s football. And that’s how it should be, and in fact the players seemed to deal with fatigue, at the end of matches or in extra time, better than male players generally tend to. And the goalkeeping isn’t a liability anymore, not in the least, in fact, and while this isn’t exactly a new development, it’s not only that those problems with finishing that I was pointing out back then have also been sorted out, but that the competition featured quite a number of great goals and other spectacular moments. Penalties are a different matter, however… On the other hand, I find it pleasing that the players aren’t going down the path of some other sports played by both sexes and focusing on building strength, trying to reduce the gap to the men from that point of view, but are instead emphasizing tactics and finesse, which leads to those spectacular moments, and which also proves that coaches are, and need to be, particularly skilled. So, overall, I’d actually say that I enjoyed this competition more than the men’s.

Before midnight I just managed to write what’s above, minus a few edits made minutes later, but I also want to add something about the result, because I really expected Spain to run away with the trophy, and they definitely deserved it, while England did not… But I guess they once again proved that the way to win such competitions is to just scrape by every step of the way. Admittedly, in the group stage England did trash Netherlands and, unsurprisingly, Wales, but that was after a first match against France where the problem wasn’t that much that they lost, but how badly they played. At that point they seemed incapable of mounting any sort of challenge, which impression returned once they reached the knockout stage… Yet they somehow just scraped by, drawing level in just two minutes after Sweden had led 2-0 most of the match in the quarter-finals and then winning at the end of a crazy penalty shoot-out where only five of the 14 total shots were scored, then scoring the equalizer against Italy in the semi-finals in the sixth minute of injury time and winning at the end of extra time thanks to a penalty that was initially saved but then scored on the rebound, and in the final they were dominated by Spain, but managed to once again equalize, admittedly much earlier, and then yet again won on penalties, albeit more clearly, Spain scoring just one. On the other hand, Spain started by utterly impressing against Portugal and, I’d say more notably, Belgium, and then continued to have no problems until the semi-final against Germany, who quite clearly just wanted to take the match to penalties, focusing almost exclusively on defense and almost making it, but Spain eventually managed to score that winning goal in the second half of extra time. And in the final, as I said, they yet again dominated, but England had its good period, during which they managed to equalize, and then they showed that they learned from Germany and managed to hold on. It really doesn’t seem right, but it is what it is…

This year’s Earth Overshoot Day fell on July 24, unsurprisingly the earliest date ever, but the far more relevant development when it comes to environmental matters took place the previous day, when the International Court of Justice (ICJ) stated that countries must prevent harm to the climate system. While unanimous, the ruling is only a non-binding advisory opinion, so it’s toothless in itself, and it also seems to focus on what courts generally deal with, which is imposing penalties after a crime is committed rather than the methods, other than the fear of said penalties, meant to prevent that from happening in the first place. However, such a ruling should carry a fair amount of weight in any future negotiations for international treaties, and also in the probable outcome of the trials that states responsible for causing environmental damage will have to face, and it is good to see it stated that the courts could order those responsible to restore the damaged ecosystems, with compensation being secondary and, from what I gather, mainly in case the damage is irreparable. And, crucially, the ruling also specifies that states are liable for the actions of the private sector and must use regulations to stop corporations from harming the climate, and also that states must work together, coordinating their actions in order to meaningfully protect the climate.
On top of wanting a ruling with actual teeth and the focus to be on prevention rather than penalties or even restoration after the damage has already been done, I’d have wanted to see more about the environment as a whole, and humanity’s responsibility towards the other species it shares, or should be sharing, this planet with, moving past this anthropocentric view and a relatively narrow focus on what is understood as the climate, which leaves plenty of room for harm, some of it even in the name of moving away from fossil fuels, such as destroying rivers for hydropower, open-cast mines for the materials needed for the energy transition, or even nuclear power. But this is what the biggest efforts, and those that may have a chance of eventual success that might just surpass that of a snowflake in the Hell that humanity has been turning this world into pretty much all along, are focusing on, and this is how courts generally approach matters, so in realistic terms, it is an important success, and one that may noticeably improve those chances… Perhaps taking them closer to a snowball’s, albeit still a small and fluffy one, especially since it’s just the biggest emitters that the ICJ has no way to enforce even its binding decisions on.

The posts about the half marathon and the Dream Trek remain untouched, but I posted them in that form and left them to be completed at an unspecified later time to allow myself to move on and write about the following runs, so I’ll do just that, starting with June 29, when the plan was to run after the race, so I set the alarm to ring at 3 PM, but after waking up a little after 2:20 PM, managing to catch another little nap, and waking up yet again a little before 2:50 PM, I turned off the alarm and got up. And until then I had gotten up twice to pee and once more, in between, after dad got up, at which point I stayed up for a little while, to make sure that he took everything he had to take to mother. Either way, I then had the usual stuff, with the yogurt being an expired “creamy” one with 5.1% protein and 5% fat, watched the race, using the old monitor for that after a while, also ate some nicer biscuits, with added honey, as the sweet thing, drank most of the tea, and left at 6:20 PM, wearing the full running gear and one armband and with some things in the pocket of my tights. The reported temperature was 29°C, supposed to drop only to about 28°C when I finished the run.
The time was probably 50:47, with sector times of 4:28.86, 5:20 (5:19.40), 6:16.28, 4:45.13, 5:23 (5:22.90), 6:19 (6:18.85), 4:39.00, probably 5:28, probably 6:15, and 1:54.28, making for lap times of 16:04.54, 16:27 (16:26.88) and probably 16:22. The problem is that I was thinking about all the issues caused by people on sector two of lap three and somehow ended up pressing the light button instead of the interval one at the end of it, and on the second attempt I pressed the stop button, so I took the time at the end of that sector as being what I saw when I looked at the stopwatch, which was a second less than what was shown when I stopped it. And then I didn’t just resume the timer and perhaps add a second at the end, but did what I should have done two weeks earlier, going back to the start of the sector and resuming the timer after I started running again from there. But, of course, I had stopped it a little later, and when I realized that, after a few steps, I stopped and resumed it again. It’s possible that the pause was a little too short to make up for the difference, but I don’t know whether it also affected the seconds. Either way, the question marks will remain there, especially since it wasn’t exactly a continuous run and when there are other problems that cause me to stop I don’t also stop the timer.
As for the time itself, since it was just a week after the Dream Trek and it was crowded as well, I initially only aimed to stay under 50 minutes and the first sector was more or less what I expected… But after that things were really bad, so when I even went over 16 minutes on the first lap I wondered whether I’ll even stay under 51 minutes. That target remained just about possible after lap two, but it was going to be tight, so I pushed more from the start of lap three, yet losing several seconds on its second sector put things in doubt, and then there was that mess with the stopwatch as well, so it was a relief when I saw that I was safe at the end of the lap. But, of course, merely being safely under 51 minutes is an awful time, even under those circumstances.
As I said, it was crowded. In fact, that’s the only specific problem that I can mention, since the heat didn’t seem to bother me quite that much and there were no specific physical issues, the problem being that I still felt tired and simply couldn’t go faster when I had some room to do so. But all of the people meant that I kept weaving, going the long way around, squeezing through, slowing, occasionally stepping off the path and generally focusing mainly on looking for ways through, and the fact that there were a number of puddles as well definitely didn’t make it any easier. But I think that I didn’t actually have to stop on the first sector, and that might have also been the case on sector three of lap one, though I’m not entirely certain. But that was it, since I did have to briefly stop on the long straight of sector two of lap one, then twice more on sector one of lap two, one of those occasions being on the long straight, and once more on sector two of lap two. I think there was another moment on sector one of lap three, though I’m not entirely certain, and there definitely was one more, when I went off the path but probably also stopped for just an instant, right at the end of lap three.
Still, those were pretty normal problems when it’s so crowded, what really stood out being two other things, one being on sector three of what I’m pretty sure was lap two. There is a small chance that it was actually on sector three of lap three, but I doubt it. Either way, that stood out because a kid on a scooter brushed quite heavily against me as he went past and then went right through a large puddle and turned slightly, as if actually meaning to create a larger splash that I just managed to avoid, though I was startled and stopped for an instant… And another kid came right after that one, couldn’t get past me in the same manner because I moved in that direction when he tried, and then quite clearly made a point of trying to splash me after passing me on the other side, staying next to me until the next puddle and then turning the scooter right in the middle of it, though I saw it coming and turned away, so he ended up splashing someone else who ended up between us… And then there was sector two of lap three, which was just was awful. I had to go well off the path twice, the first time staying on the grass for a few meters, going around a couple of trees and getting close to the lake, stepping carefully and therefore losing a few seconds just there, and there was one brief stop on the long straight as well, and possibly one more at another point, though I’m not quite sure that I actually stopped that time, so the total loss of time on that sector was quite notable and I guess that my brain got overloaded after having to deal with all of those moments and that led to messing up at the end of it as well.

After the run, I jogged to Kaufland, not knowing whether that location closed at 8 PM or 9 PM on Sunday, but I still picked up a few recyclables, as well as a 0.50 RON coin that was on the graveyard fence, so I decided to add half of its value to what I’ll eventually give away. And then I saw that I shouldn’t have bothered to jog either, since the closing time had changed to 9 PM and it was only 7:45 PM when I got there. Either way, I put the recyclables in a cabinet, grabbed two expiring chicken legs for dad, even if they were only discounted by 30%, plus some tea for myself, waited until after 8:30 PM, and since the better evening discounts that did appear at that point didn’t interest me, or in case of the beets weren’t good enough, I went to the self-checkouts, entered the digital store card number manually, having it on that slip of paper, and then retrieved those recyclables and jogged to still catch the Mega Image that’s next to the farmers’ market open as well, since that also closes at 9 PM on Sunday. But I just wasted a little time by having a quick look inside, entering with everything, and then I grabbed two more recyclables and went back to that store that offers more for them… Only for that to also be a waste of time, since the machine wasn’t working and no employee was around when I entered, so I turned around and made my way back, finally taking it easy, picking up one more recyclable, and also having a quick look in the nearby Mega Image when I got here, once again entering with everything.
It was a little past 9:30 PM when I got back. Then I put the purchases in their place, drank a smoothie which I had picked up before and which had just expired, ate a sweet pastry that I also already had while spending some time on the computer, accidentally posted the placeholder for that day’s post right away before scheduling it to be posted at 11:59 PM, ate quite a lot of watermelon as well, set the water for the mamaliga on the stove, did the day’s squats, in 2:14, since I once again did them in the kitchen and timed them, then went to the toilet, got back to the kitchen to pour the cornmeal in the water that was just about to start to boil, then finally went to wash as well, at 12:25 AM. I was done just before 1 AM, but then I spent a little more time on the computer, so it was past 1:15 AM when I got back to the kitchen, and I also washed a pot, but somehow still managed to stick to the dinner schedule, even if it meant “cheating” a little to be able to say that I started eating just before 3 AM and then really wolfing down all of that food. On the other hand, since I started watching something and then recorded the rest of it while getting ready for bed and spending a little more time on the computer, I got in bed at 6 AM.

In the early moments of July 1, before going to the kitchen at night, I redeemed Dark Envoy, after seeing another code donated by someone who had received it as an Amazon Prime subscriber show up and requesting it in the afternoon on The Community Giveaway on the GOG.com forums. It felt quite awkward to make another request after having messed up a couple of days earlier, when I had requested one of the two remaining Thief Gold keys that were expiring at the end of the day, stating that the request was to be ignored if anyone else actually wanted one but being sent the key, the giveaway administrator stating that he had sent the other one to a friend of his who had redeemed it in time, yet I thought that it expired at midnight according to their time, so Poland’s time, giving me until 1 AM, so despite getting back a little before midnight, it was some time later when I got on the computer and saw that the key had already expired, apparently at midnight my time, and since others placed on the Ninja Giveaway thread had been quickly redeemed that day, it most likely wouldn’t have gone to waste if I wouldn’t have requested it, which made me feel just awful. But Dark Envoy actually was on my wishlist, so I went for it.
But I’m mainly writing about this day because I ran again, getting up when the alarm rang, at 2 PM, though at that point I had been alternating between being asleep and awake at ever shorter intervals for the past 45 minutes or so. Then I had the usual stuff, the yogurt being made from goat milk, though it was expired, and the almonds being from a new bag of raw ones that I just opened then, to keep the last handful of those baked ones with Himalayan salt for hotter days. The sweet thing consisted of two expired nicer biscuits, with added honey, and I also drank most of the tea before leaving, at 4:45 PM, wearing the full running gear and one armband. The reported temperature was 30°C, holding steady.
The time was 48:27.02, with sector times of 4:26.30, 5:07 (5:06.75), 6:01.59, 4:36 (4:35.53), 5:10.41, 5:59 (5:58.87), 4:31.10, 5:01 (5:00.68), 5:51 (5:50.97) and 1:45 (1:44.82), making for lap times of 15:34.64, 15:45 (15:44.81) and 15:23 (15:22.75). Just two days after the previous run, I was just aiming to stay under 50 minutes, and after the first lap it seemed that I was likely to manage that, but not anything better, since I was sure that I was going to get slower. So the target for lap two was only to stay under 16 minutes and I thought that I had to push a little harder on its third sector to manage that, yet the result of that push was a time that made me think that I might just squeeze under 49 minutes after all, so I went for it from the start of lap three and on the third sector I was still thinking that I had to give everything to be sure of that… Only to be frustrated when, at the end of the lap, I saw a time that I was sure meant that I was going to just miss squeezing under 48:30, since I didn’t see how I could possibly get under 1:50 on the final sector after having pushed for an entire lap, and I needed 1:47. But I didn’t want the failure to be for lack of trying, so I really put every last remaining shred of energy into it and was really surprised when I saw that time at the end. Not that it’s not still poor, of course, but I’m pleased with it under those circumstances… Even though the conditions were so much better than they had been two days earlier, to the point that I have little else to say, the only problem being that it was pretty hot and there were pretty much no clouds to speak of, so I was looking for shade. But even that wasn’t that bad, and otherwise there were no specific physical issues and, other than a pretty normal amount of weaving and going the long way around, no notable problems caused by people.

After jogging back, I noticed that the right shoelace was loose, though at the same time somewhat knotted, which had probably prevented it from getting untied during the run. Either way, I then ate a lot of watermelon and lunch and left again at 9 PM, rushing first to Carrefour, seeing that I once again had to go around the area that’s around the stadium, since a festival was going to start there in a few days, and grabbing just two recyclables on the way, and one of them was of a kind that should have had the bar code that’d be recognized by the machines on a sticker which had been peeled off, so I dropped it in a recycling bin in that mall, then put the other recyclable in a cabinet and retrieved it after wasting time by checking the store before continuing to Kaufland, where I entered, with that recyclable, just after 9:40 PM, getting some more white bell peppers that had a good evening discount, a bag of spoiling bio (organic) oranges, and six jars of chopped tomatoes, since there was a 30% discount on all canned stuff those days if you activated it in the store app and I had done that on-line before leaving. And the closing announcement came right after I walked out of the checkout area.
Since that meant that it was already 10:30 PM, I then rushed to that Mega Image, put my things in a cabinet and got some bakery products that had the 90% discount, thinking that I had given the cashier the exact amount and being surprised when I was given a coin as change before seeing on the receipt that two of the products had an additional discount as well. Either way, I then retrieved what I had in the cabinet before walking out, going to a bench, and spreading and arranging my things. And on the way back I picked up a few more recyclables and gave away two of the bakery products, the first to a man who was smoking, so I’d have passed by him if I didn’t want to make sure that I gave at least one thing away, and the second just when I got here, after turning to look after another older man who looked scruffy and actually chasing after him when I saw him checking garbage cans, catching him while he crossed and giving him that sweet pastry right on the street before crossing back. And then I also quickly checked the nearby Mega Image, entering with everything.
It was almost 11:40 PM when I got back. Then I cleaned the litter box and went to drop a tiny bag of trash down the chute, put the purchases in their place, ate a large doughnut with cocoa cream, did the day’s squats, and went to wash at 1:25 AM, still feeling a little pain in that spot on my head which had hurt when I had washed the last couple of times as well. It was close to 2:10 AM when I was done, and then I rearranged the vegetables in the box from the fridge twice, to get everything in there more or less properly, and finally ate dinner between 4:10 AM and 4:50 AM and got in bed at 6:05 AM.

When dad went to the toilet, around 7:50 AM, and also coughed loudly, waking me, I went to pee after he was done and then got back on the computer and reinstalled The Witcher 2, which took a while, and after copying the save made back in March of 2015, right at the very start of the game, only to properly import the one from the first game, I checked that it worked, only getting back in bed at 8:40 AM. And the fan speeds did once again increase once the CPU temperature reached 62°C… And at 12:20 PM the upstairs neighbor woke me by dragging heavy things around again, so I got back on the computer and actually played the game just a little. And later I also finally installed the Windows updates for June, after which the error about Secure Boot started appearing twice in logs, as in two entries at the same time, and that one with id 2545 also appeared again after rebooting, making it five times out of nine when it happens after updates.

In the early hours of July 11, after seeing mold on two cucumbers, cleaning them and then deciding to finally wash the soiled vegetable box from the fridge as well, I also had to take out the entire “front row” of bread from the freezer to reach a whole wheat piece from the back, after which I obviously had to put back what I had taken out, and ended up eating dinner between 3:55 AM and 4:30 AM. And I went to bed at 5:25 AM, after also taking the time to clean the litter box… Which I shouldn’t have bothered to do, because I got up to pee the second time a little after noon and minutes later I heard dad unlock the door, but then Liza went to the litter box and he went to clean it again right away, obviously taking away a whole pile of “sand”, and since I went out of my room again and frowned at him for a little while I know that he didn’t even wash his hands after that and touched various things. And, between being angered by that and the various noises coming from the upstairs neighbor, plus a few more made by dad, I had no chance to get back to sleep before he finally left, which only happened a little before 1:10 PM. And then I just got a few brief naps, waking up because of bad dreams probably almost right away each time, before the alarm rang, at 2 PM, and I got up. And this was after wandering around on very little sleep on July 8 and 9, also carrying a whole lot in the latter case, and not catching up on that sleep on July 10 either, only getting some 3.5 hours at best before the plumber came that morning to put in the new cistern for the toilet in the small bathroom, dad realizing that he didn’t know how to do that after having finally bought one, and then only adding about three more hours, split in multiple parts, despite eventually getting back in bed and actually spending the entire afternoon there.
But it was the week’s one day that was better suited for a run, with way less heat and no risk of storms, and in fact very little wind either, plus that it was Friday anyway, and the following day wasn’t just July 12, but the 20th lonely July 12, so on top of usually not wanting to run on weekends, there was no way to leave it for this particular one. So I had the usual stuff, with the sweet thing being some nicer biscuits, even if they were in pieces, with added honey, and left at 4:40 PM, wearing the full running gear and one armband. The reported temperature was 28°C, holding steady.
The time was 48:16.89, with sector times of 4:21.17, 5:04.50, 5:57.13, 4:31.00, 5:07 (5:06.37), I think 5:49.63, 4:33 (I think 4:32.44), 5:14 (5:13.78), 5:48.40 and 1:52.47, making for lap times of 15:22.80, I think 15:27.00, and 15:35 (I think 15:34.62). And if four questionable times may seem like a lot, they’re all generated by not being certain that I remembered the exact time at the end of lap two correctly, and the question has to do with one tenth of a second, so it’s not relevant anyway. But what is relevant is that, considering the exhaustion, I wondered whether I’ll even stay under 50 minutes, though after being faster than I expected on the first two sectors I aimed to cover the first lap in less than the 15:20 that’s the target for staying under 48 minutes, and despite failing to do so I realized that I might actually have a chance to stay under 49 minutes. That became the clear target after sector two of lap two, with a secondary one being to stay under 16 minutes on each lap… Yet after the end of the lap I started wondering whether I could even squeeze under 48:30, and in that case whether I could also be less slow than the previous week, so I tried to push more… Probably too early, which resulted in that concerning sector two of lap three, but then I really went for it on sector three of lap three and found myself already safe at the end of the lap. Not that anything above 48 minutes isn’t still a poor time, but this is the least poor one since the last good one, back in February, and I definitely didn’t expect anything of the sort.
Admittedly, there were few problems to speak of. I noticed a couple of gusts, but the fact that there was very little wind otherwise probably made those moments stand out more, and despite expecting quite a few physical problems, the only specific ones were on sector two of lap two, when I felt a little pain in the lower half of my left leg, mostly around the ankle but not localized and without a source that I could clearly identify, and on the early part of sector three of lap three, when I felt out of breath and even noticed a few irregular heartbeats as I started pushing that hard, and both of those issues went away quickly. As for the problems caused by people, other than a pretty normal amount of weaving and going the long way around, there was just the fact that needing to get around a few groups meant that I couldn’t exactly try to sprint on the long straight of sector one of lap three, and the one more notable moment, on the final sector, when a guy kicked a ball that bounced right into my right leg, so I stopped for a moment.

After picking up a few recyclables on the way back, I washed some things in the kitchen, ate a lot of watermelon and lunch, changed, and left again at 8:40 PM, once again needing to go around the area around the stadium, which was still closed. Then I bought some expiring bio (organic) kefir from Carrefour, putting it in the backpack and grabbing some more recyclables on the way to Kaufland, where they were replacing the cabinets. But most of the new ones were in place, so I used one, and after peeing and washing my hands, I entered the store just after 9:30 PM, seeing some evening discounts appearing or improving just then. I think I was the first one who noticed a good discount for pears and meant to take some for mother, but by the time I took some bags out of the backpack, two women swooped in and grabbed most of them, so I just managed to take two that were rather bad… And later I dropped one, which made it even worse… And I dropped it on an old woman’s foot, though she said that it was nothing when I apologized. Either way, I also got potatoes, even if the evening discount wasn’t that good, since some larger ones were left, and cucumbers, the discount for those improving as I was picking them. And later, when bananas also received an evening discount, I took some of those as well, along with two small beets, even if their 50% evening discount still meant a price that I’d have considered to be too high before, plus some expiring products, though those included five cans that expired in September and were just discounted by 30%, so I could have bought those things normally, without ending up with some that were obviously years old, when there had been that 30% discount for all canned products, but I only realized that some time later. And the self-checkout machine didn’t accept the potatoes as the correct product, though the scales from that area confirmed the weight, so I called over an employee to override the error.
After retrieving what I had in the cabinet and washing my hands again, I continued to that Mega Image, putting the other things in a cabinet, entering with the backpack where I had that kefir, and getting an expiring bread for my parents and some bakery products for myself, all being discounted by 90%. Then I arranged the new purchases, retrieved what I had in the cabinet, and after walking out I stopped at a bench and took the time to arrange everything properly before making my way back, using the same route I had used to get there, though I normally come back on the other side. Either way, I also picked up a few more recyclables… And realized that I had forgotten to get garlic from that Mega Image, so I entered the nearby one with everything, but then just walked back out, since they didn’t seem to have any.
I’m pretty sure that it was a little after 11:40 PM when I got back. Then I put the purchases in their place, spread cocoa cream on a large doughnut and ate it, did the day’s squats, and it was a little before 1:15 AM when I went to wash, feeling less pain in that area of my head and being done in less than 20 minutes. But then I also cleaned a little in the kitchen, after dad, and sliced one of the small baguettes bought from Mega Image, which took a while, since it was quite hard to begin with and it only got worse after I microwaved it the first time… And when I later microwaved the slices as well, as I usually do, an area got burned even though I had sprinkled more water on them, so I had to remove what was really charred. And I also moved something into a jar, initially trying to use one that was too small and then having to move everything into another, and wrote a quick note for dad, mostly to tell him to check the e-mail that I meant to write. On the other hand, I forgot to put seasonings in the salad, but I didn’t go back to the kitchen when I realized it, since even so I ended up eating dinner between 4 AM and 5:05 AM, though I also wrote that e-mail during that time, and at the end I went back to the kitchen and spent quite some time gathering what was stuck on the plate. And I’ll also mention here that no visits were recorded on July 11, and that I got in bed at 5:50 AM.

I’d have wanted to go to the kitchen earlier in the early hours of July 18, since I had radish leaves to select, wash and boil, but I wouldn’t have managed to do that anyway, and a little before 1 AM dad said that he was going to bed and I talked to him for a while, and I think that something bit me on the arm when I got something for him from the balcony, so it was just about 1:25 AM when I went to the kitchen, put medicinal alcohol on that area several times, until the itching and the swelling fortunately subsided, and ended up eating dinner between 4:20 AM and 4:50 AM. But I still got in bed at the usual time, and the forecast that listed some serious gusts that were only going to lessen in the evening made me not set an alarm at first, only setting it to ring at 3 PM just before noon, after getting up to pee the second time and having another look at the forecast. And ten minutes after I got back in bed at that point I received the SMS letting me know that the headphones ordered for my mother were ready to be picked up. So, after getting up after the alarm rang, I just ate an imported bio (organic) Gala apple, unfortunately only wasted some time on the toilet, and left at 4:25 PM, first going past that store, to that branch of my bank, to break a large bill by depositing it and then withdrawing the amount in two parts, and then picking up the order. And on the way back I also had a quick look in that Profi and the nearby Mega Image.
I was back a little before 5:15 PM, with a few recyclables picked up on the way. Then I had the rest of the usual stuff, with the sweet thing being two expired nicer biscuits, with added honey, and drank most of the tea, the very good thing being that the pain I’d been feeling in my abdomen for the past couple of days, mainly in the upper part, alternating between left and right, so apparently stomach and liver, and which had been very present while I was out earlier, had suddenly gone away. On the other hand, I wasted even more time on the toilet and noticed a mark on my right big toe that was probably another flea bite, so I put some medicinal alcohol on it before going out again, a little before 7:30 PM, wearing the full running gear and one armband. The reported temperature was 27-28°C, dropping to about 26°C by the time I finished.
The time was 48:47.23, with sector times of 4:34.73, 5:03 (5:02.65), 5:56 (5:55.63), 4:29.12, 5:05.41, 6:00.31, 4:33 (4:32.41), 5:09.25, 6:03.43 and 1:55 (1:54.29), making for lap times of 15:33.01, 15:34.84 and 15:45.09. After having already been out once that day and considering how I had been feeling and how crowded it was, I was thinking that it’d be great to stay under 50 minutes and the first sector’s time made me wonder whether I’ll even stay under 51, so I pushed harder, which resulted in that really surprising time on the following sector and wondering whether I’ll manage to cover the lap in less than 15:30. That’d have required an improbably fast sector three and I didn’t manage that, but what I did manage was enough to make me think that I should stay under 50 minutes after all and wonder whether I’ll also stay under 16 minutes on each lap, which should have also meant under 49:30 overall. And after lap two it seemed that I might even get under 49 minutes, so I kept pushing wherever I could, knowing that I had to be safe by the end of lap three, since the first of the summer concerts was taking place that evening and I couldn’t count on any sort of a good time on the final sector. But I did just enough to already be pretty much there after sector two of lap three, and in the end I was frustratingly close to 48:45. That’s a bad time in itself, of course, but it’s at least a minute better than I expected, so I’ll take it.
That abdominal pain going away quite clearly made all the difference, and in fact I can’t say that there were any specific physical issues. And it also helped that, while a few gusty areas remained, the wind did lessen significantly overall. But it was quite crowded, and I had to pick my way through two roadblocks on each of the first lap’s sectors, slowing significantly in most of those cases, just about stopping because of the last one, and actually stopping for a moment because of the first one, mere seconds after the start of the run, since there was also a large puddle in that spot and I wasn’t about to go through it. Lap two was better, obviously still requiring plenty of weaving, going the long way around and squeezing through but only having two notable moments, both of them on sector two, and I’m not sure that I actually stopped at the first one. But right at the end of the sector, under the bridge, two cyclists were coming from the opposite direction and we all had to use the lane, the rest of the path being blocked by other people, so I pretty much had to hop aside, stopping for an instant as I did so. Then, on sector one of lap three, I had to protect myself from two kids on bicycles who were unsteadily weaving around and seemed about to run into me, so I just about walked for a few seconds, while at the start of the next sector I briefly stopped in order to get a better look at the time. And on sector three of lap three I had to go off the path twice, briefly and still stepping on a paved area the first time, but going around two benches and a drinking fountain and slowing a fair bit the second time, while right at the end of the sector I briefly stopped because of another roadblock. And then, as expected, on the final sector, after climbing the stairs, I had to pick my way through the edge of the crowd gathered for the concert.

After turning around and going to grab one of the leaflets with the schedule of the concerts, without finding anything interesting listed there, I was back for the second time at 8:50 PM, with a couple more recyclables which I had picked up on the way. Then I drank some fruit nectar that had expired a few days earlier, changed, went to drop a bag of trash down the chute, came back to bring a recyclable which had been left in the garbage room, and left again a few minutes before 9:30 PM, initially not meaning to jog, since it was clearly too late to also check Carrefour first, but after a little while crossing the backpack’s rope straps and doing so.
That proved to be a good thing, since after washing my hands I think it was around 9:45 PM when I entered Kaufland and, after seeing a good evening discount for lettuces with root and grabbing the one good one that was left, I saw evening discounts for cucumbers, potatoes, carrots that were supposedly Romanian, and bananas, plus a small one for watermelons that nevertheless made them cheaper than anywhere else, at least as far as I knew at that point, so I spent just about all of the remaining time picking and was weighing those things when the information desk employee announced that the store was going to close in two minutes and then actually came over and told me to hurry to the self-checkouts. So I then rushed to grab a mozzarella as well and had a very quick look at the expiring products, reaching the non-refrigerated ones after the closing announcement. And the self-checkout machine didn’t accept the potatoes as the correct product, but what was interesting was that, after using the scales from that area to confirm that the weight was correct and calling over the employee, she said that it wasn’t a problem, but “a check”, which I gathered to mean that at least some of these “errors” are intentional, to require customers to call employees over, so they’ll be able to check that the correct products are scanned or entered.
Either way, since I also wanted to go to that Mega Image and it was already late, I didn’t even try to arrange the purchases, just throwing them back in the two bags used to carry them around the store and rushing there, where I shoved those bags into two cabinets, not only without locking them but without even properly closing one of the doors, since the bag wouldn’t fully fit inside and I didn’t waste any more time to move things around. And what was surprising, seeing as those discounts had most likely been placed at least half an hour earlier, if not more, was that I found quite a few products discounted by 90% to get, and one was actually discounted by 92%, since it has a regular 20% discount that applies at checkout these days. And, after retrieving my things and arranging the new purchases just enough to be able to carry them a short distance, I still managed to walk out a couple of minutes before closing time, going to a bench and arranging everything properly before making my way back. Somewhat oddly, I didn’t grab any more recyclables on that trip.
I was back just before 11:45 PM, having carried 19 kg, and I only weighed 44 kg, which was really concerning. Either way, I then put most of the purchases in their place, ate a lot of watermelon and a sweet pastry that I already had, and it was 1:25 AM when I went to wash, being done a little more than 40 minutes later. Then I selected the cucumbers, since dad was going to take a good part of them to mother, put the remaining purchases in their place, which also meant rearranging the vegetables in the box in the fridge, also dealt with a small baguette that I was yet to deal with, ate lunch, on and off, between 3:30 AM and 4:10 AM, left dad a quick note, and ate dinner between 4:50 AM and 5:30 AM. I got in bed at 6:25 AM.

Not long after 10 AM, I was woken up by an intense itch close to the back of my left knee, and since what showed up there within seconds initially looked and felt just like what had appeared on my arm the night before, I’m starting to have doubts about these being bites. The locations and symptoms fit that scenario, but between this, that pain in my abdomen, which admittedly hadn’t returned, and the loss of weight, I’m wondering about my body reacting to something or being messed up in some way… On the other hand, both the redness and the itch vanished almost right away after I put some medicinal alcohol there, so maybe that particular thing wasn’t quite the same as what had been on my arm, and while a small red spot and some itching reappeared there at night, I’m not sure that it’s in the exact same spot and might be an infected hair and therefore unrelated.
Returning to last morning, dad got up minutes after I got back in bed, so I just got a couple of brief naps before Liza woke me up again, around 11:15 AM, by going to the litter box, at which point I got up to clean it and talk to dad a little, to make sure that he was taking everything he wanted to take to mother… The problem being that I couldn’t get back to sleep after that, so a little before 1:15 PM I finally gave up and got up, and some two hours later I finished The Antidote, which I had borrowed from the Library last Tuesday and started reading on Monday, also because I couldn’t get back to sleep… And in the evening, after managing to nap for about an hour or so, definitely less than an hour and a half, I posted the quick review, after which I made mamaliga, with two eggs, plenty of cheese and a can of sardines mixed in it, and while I lost track of time while getting everything from the pot in the kitchen and only started eating in my room at 3:05 AM, I still managed to finish wolfing everything down at 3:40 AM.

It starts well, pointing out the problems with the pursuit of happiness in itself and with this cult of positivity in particular, including the fact that it’s an industry but mainly that it doesn’t, and can’t, work, and in fact usually has the opposite effect. After all, happiness is the difference between reality and expectations, so raising expectations to extreme levels can only hurt, while focusing on meeting those expectations and on what can go right instead of thinking of what can go wrong and accepting limits is more likely to lead to great failure, and not of a kind that one can learn from. And then it understandably moves on to Stoicism, doing a good job of presenting its virtues, though it also presents the aspects that I’ll always reject, such as accepting reality as it is and agreeing with the proponents of positive thought in saying that what matters is how you view what happens. And while I’ll definitely always reject the non-attachment that the part about Buddhism focuses on, I rationally recognize its value and that it had to be stressed in this context.
Past that point, however, the author mostly rambles, presenting some discussions or a few examples. There are still valid points, but they tend to become rather few and far between, with a fair amount of bullshit and obvious flaws in the reasoning taking their place. For example, he somehow misidentifies discipline and structure as being the same as non-attachment, says that it’s difficult to identify problems affecting you in the present, or seems to conveniently forget that difference between reality and expectations when pointing out the happiness of those living insecure lives and mentions but then quickly dismisses the impact of religious, magical thinking. And admitting that nothing particularly bad happened to him rather negates his credentials, though he at least states that this negative path is a toolkit to mix and match and adopt pieces from, not to be taken as a whole or seen as a guide or any sort of guarantee… Which may, in itself, put it above the “competition”.

Rating: 3/5