Cav's Place

Recently read a report about a study that said that men may be more willing than women to sacrifice achievement goals for a romantic relationship.
No, I don’t mean to discuss the alleged study here since it’s completely invalid. The number of people surveyed places the statistical error margin at 11.2% in case of the men and 8% in case of the women, which is unacceptable in itself. But it’s really invalid because it only included students at one department of one university, so it has no general relevance whatsoever.
What I do mean to write about here is that I looked at what the students were asked and found myself having a hard time ranking those goals for myself. That’s not because it’s hard to rank the important ones, that’s too easy, but because I care too little about many of those things, while others I’m actually determined to never have in my life at all.

Still, let’s see…
1. Romantic relationships. No question there, as long as they’re not talking about the number of relationships, of course. Love always comes first. Period.
2. Contribution to society. Clearly second, but according to my own definition of contributing to society. I’m talking about changing it, destroying the current one and creating a far better one in it’s place. If they’re talking about aiding the current society, then it goes right to the bottom of the list, along with the other things that I’m against.
3. Circle of friends. Not a circle specifically. What I mean is that I need a best friend, according to my definition of best friend, and a couple of other good friends would also be very nice. But turning that “a couple” into “several” is something I don’t care about, while having many casual friends is one of the things I’m against.
4. Home ownership. Not ownership in itself, but in the sense of living only with those I choose to live with, having a room that nobody except me and her would ever enter uninvited and being able to do whatever I want with the place. Give me a small house with all amenities and a decent yard space at the edge of a mountain town and I’ll be happy to stay there forever. Doesn’t seem likely that I’ll get that, so a decent place in a city will have to do as well.
5. Physical fitness. Low importance, far more interested in mental “fitness”, but as far as it pertains to health… And even then, only if I feel that my life’s worth something.
6. Financial success. If we’re talking about actual wealth, it’s something I’m against, but I certainly would like to be able to get a kick-ass computer roughly every three years. Other than that, as long as I have shelter, food, water, enough heat when it’s cold outside and the bills get paid, I don’t care about other things that money can buy. The best things in life are free.
7. Education. I’m taking this to mean formal education, and that’s something I’m pretty much against. Still, I’m not placing it lower because there is also being inquisitive and constantly learning new things, which is extremely important to me.
8. Travel. Don’t care for it. Trips are not for me, except perhaps a couple of weeks per year in the mountains, hiking whenever possible and spending the rest of the time in a comfortable hotel.
9. Family ties. Don’t care about relatives. Your “family” is made up of the people you choose, not of those that happen to share your bloodline. Period.
10. Marriage. Taking this to mean actual marriage, be it legal, religious, or both, which is something I’m firmly against. If we’d be talking about the more general sense of a very solid and ideally lifelong relationship, then it would merge with my definition for “romantic relationship”.
11. Career. No way! It’s not that I don’t care about setting career goals, but that I’m firmly against ever having any! The only thing I’d feel it’d be worth having any sort of job for is if it could somehow guarantee that I’ll be with her again, that we’ll stay together forever and that our relationship will always go well. But, as I see it, careers only ruin relationships…
12. Children. No fucking way! Never ever! Won’t have any, won’t tolerate any around me for long, will grumble at people who already have any and basically rip the throats out of those who are thinking about having any in the future. Clear enough for you?

As for the other question in the alleged study, choosing between relationship and career, education and travelling… Is that even a question? Relationship always, without a moment’s thought! And that’s not only when “competing” against any of those other three things, but also against all of them together.