Cav's Place

Stumbled upon this survey in somebody’s journal on OkCupid and meant to fill it out and send it as a message, but of course it turned out to be way too long, considering their limit of 10000 characters per message. So I wondered what to do with it for a couple of days and eventually decided to post it here, though I’m quite sure it’s a bad idea to do so now…

I. Basics:

1. First Name?
– Robert
2. Age?
– 23
3. Location?
– Bucharest, Romania
4. Profession?
– None…
5. Reason for being on OkCupid?
– Tests, friends, match questions, figuring out how it works…

II. Education:

1. Highest level of schooling completed (high school, associate’s degree, etc.)?
– Dropped out in tenth grade…
2. What is your area of interest (what did you major in, what was your favorite subject, etc.)?
– Environmentalism and IT. No major, obviously, and environmentalism has nothing to do with school subjects unfortunately…
3. Do you plan on going any further with your education?
– In an “organized” manner, no way! On a personal level, always learning new stuff.

III. Goals:

1. What do you hope to accomplish by the end of 2007?
– Either to just talk with her again, catch up and see what happens afterwards, or to crawl under a rock and die. Depends on what I find out…
2. What do you hope to accomplish in the next five years?
– Be with her again, preferably in a four-way, so they won’t break up but there would be another girl as well, interested in both me and him, so it’ll be fair for everyone. Live together in a nice place without others bothering us. Preferably have at most two of us (assuming the four-way) working, but make enough for all four to have a reasonable standard of living as long as expenses will be kept in check, while the others will take care of things around the house, and I’d really rather be among these “others”. Actually, ideally him and the other girl (or just one of them if they’d have one that’d pay enough, or none if we’d somehow have what we need anyway) would have jobs while me and her will handle housework. As for what I’d like to do myself outside the relationship, some volunteer work for environmental projects, certainly, but just the “behind the scenes” things like planning and gathering information, stuff I can do from home and on my own schedule.
3. Would you like to get married? / Are you married?
– No way! I firmly believe that anyone who needs papers/ceremonies/rings/etc. feels that their commitment alone isn’t enough, which is a problem that no papers/ceremonies/rings/etc. can solve, as the divorce rates prove. Though… If we’d get back together, she’d want to stay there and it’d be the only way for me to gain citizenship, I guess I’ll have to consider it. Of course, she’d have to obtain hers first, and then divorce him, unless they’d legalize three-way marriages in the UK by then…
4. Would you like to have/adopt children?
– FUCK NO!!! Overpopulation is my main concern and it’s a worldwide problem, no country can say “oh, we don’t have an overpopulation problem, others do”. The world is extremely overpopulated and all countries are part of the world, period. Now if you had kids some ten years ago I’ll frown but say things weren’t so well known then and let it be, but I consider having kids these days as the worst crime possible and I’ll treat anyone committing it accordingly! This is the one thing that isn’t and never will be negotiable with me under any circumstances! Same goes for adoption, since knowing the possibility exists might make some more likely to have kids even if they don’t intend to raise them.
5. What is the one thing you’d like to do before you die?
– Make a difference, do something that’d make the world a better place for the future… But make sure the world doesn’t know it was me who did it, let them enjoy the effects and let me keep living my life as before.
6. What is one thing you’d like to learn before you die?
– How to make people truly love and care…
7. Have you ever given up on a major goal? If so, what?
– Can’t say that I have…
8. Have you accomplished any of your major life goals? If so, what?
– Well, being in a successful relationship is one of my major life goals, so for three years it was accomplished, but then it became unaccomplished, so… No, not anymore… And the others are too far fetched…
9. Are you where you were hoping to be five years ago?
– Certainly not…

IV. Fears:

1. What is the one thing you fear most?
– Being alone in a crowd… Not only in the literal sense…
2. Do you have any phobias? If so, what?
– Absolutely terrified of people. Gets even worse if we’re talking about doctors or anything having to do with school. Assume it’d be the same with a workplace, but was never the case. Luckily that doesn’t apply on-line, here I can be who I truly am, act the way I want to act, express what I’m feeling, say what I’m thinking, but if I’m to actually meet with anyone that I don’t already feel really close to I’ll paralyze at best, and usually turn on my heels and run, literally. Oh yah, also stray dogs, but that has lessened in the past few years.
3. Have you ever experienced deep down, bone-chilling fear? If so, when? What happened?
– Hmm, let’s see, I’m terrified of people, what do you think? As for what happened, depends. Freezing and just standing there mute, turning on my heels and running away, shouting and kicking and screaming at anyone and anything around, and anything in between…

V. Sexuality:

1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how interested in sex are you usually?
– Probably 8 or 9, in the right circumstances. There are more important things, but my jokes are usually sexual, it’s the topic I often fall back to when the conversation with a friend is stalling, but I can also talk extremely seriously about it (been moderator on a sex-ed forum for three years). Also quite interested in the sex lives of people I care about, and the more I care about you, the more details I want to know, and will also share mine freely with them. As for doing, with her I was (and am, but…) very interested of course, but the exact extent depends on how much I’ve been lacking it. If I wasn’t getting nearly enough, yeah, I wanted to just do it all the time. If the purely physical urge was reasonably satisfied over the past few days then I was more interested in just talking and cuddling, though if that developed into more it was the best, taking it really slowly and all. As for anyone else, well, I can occasionally fantasize, but I’d never do it without her being involved in some way or another.
2. What usually sparks your sexual interest in someone?
– Feeling really close to them. Yeah, sure, a good looking person can get me aroused for a moment, but it’ll be all out of my mind the next. For me sex is the ultimate connection between people and, actually… The way I determine whether I truly trust somebody (helps that I only get along with girls) is by asking myself if there’s any situation in which I’m certain I’d have sex with that person. I have answered “yes” to that question very few times so far, three certainly, possibly four but wasn’t exactly sure. Doesn’t have to happen, obviously, but if I would do it, it means I trust that person fully. So I guess that level of closeness and trust is what makes me really desire someone sexually. It’s not something that you just notice from the first moment, it takes weeks or, more likely, months, and very rarely happens at all even so…
3. How many people have you had sex with?
– One…
4. Do you regret any sexual encounters?
– No way!
5. How often do you initiate sex in general?
– Unless she was initiating it, which was rare, or she made it obvious she wasn’t at all interested that day, though I even ignored that sometimes, I was trying just about daily. If it had either been quite some time since the last time we did it, or I knew we won’t be able to do it again too soon (especially true early on, with the distance and all), and she appeared willing, then sometimes I’d initiate it twice in a day too. Of course, there were long periods when I kept failing in making much of anything happen… But if you mean how often is/was sex initiated by me out of all the times I’ve had sex, well, I just said she was initiating it rarely, so most of the time…
6. Do you prefer to sleep with men, women, or both?
– Just women, thank you very much! Of course, one can’t say “never”, just that it’d take some VERY exceptional circumstances to make me try anything with a guy! Especially since I neither drink alcohol nor do drugs… No issues with a threesome where the third person would be another guy though.
7. How willing would you say you are when it comes to the idea of having a threesome or group sex?
– Threesome, very. Foursome, in the sense of two couples doing it at the same time but also interacting with each other, perhaps even more so. (However, the three-on-one idea doesn’t have any appeal to me, either way it goes.) Five or six people could be ok, rarely, when a foursome invites one or two others to join them for a very special occasion. More than that, or other situations, no thanks. (Though, again, not saying “never”.) I’m strongly supporting polyamorous relationships, so go figure. Yeah, I think it should stay one-on-one most of the time even in such relationships because of the level of intimacy that brings, but having everyone involved about, say, a quarter of the time seems like a pretty nice idea to me.
8. When did you experience your first orgasm?
– I was five, believe it or not. Discovered that touching a certain area in a certain way felt nice, so I did it and kept doing it for about two years, until I lost interest. Regained interest when I was 12, but it wasn’t until I was 13 that I found out what it was I was doing. Until then I thought it was something I alone had discovered…
9. Do you masturbate? If so, how often?
– Well, I play, lately more than once per day, but the last time I had an orgasm through masturbation was in February 2006. It’s just… Not without her…
10. What is your favorite sexual position? Why?
– Woman on top, lying on top of me, sort of reverse missionary if you will. Well, not really for those who say missionary is with him holding his weight on his arms, being a bit away from her, not bodies pressed together. I’m talking about bodies pressed together, locked in an embrace. Why? Her on top because I like not to be the one controlling things (usually, though I have my moments) and the rest because of the intimacy full-body contact offers and because being able to kiss and look your partner in the eyes while doing it is crucial, in my book at least.
11. What are your feelings on pornography? Is it okay for your partner to look at pornography / read erotica?
– The vast majority of “professional” porn is gross crap, though there are a few exceptions. But there are some great amateur movies out there. It’s nice to watch regular people have sex playfully and absolutely wonderful to watch them actually making love, expressing their feelings by it. Erotica can be nice if written well, but I’d much rather watch. And of course it’s ok for my partner to watch/read such things! Why wouldn’t it be?
12. Has someone ever actually “rocked” your “world”?
– I think the difference in maximum potential intensity between the male and the female orgasm makes it so no guy can answer “yes” to that.
13. Do you have any fetishes?
– Not that I’m aware of…
14. Finally, what is your favorite fantasy?
– Oh boy… There are a few, the favorite one can change according to mood and recent events… Want me to write erotica now? I could, and I have, but…

VI. Secrets:

1. Are you good at keeping secrets, your own or someone else’s?
– I don’t keep secrets of my own. As for someone else’s, well… My general rule is that I can tell people that don’t personally know the person I’m talking about, but I can keep completely quiet if I’m specifically told not to tell anybody a certain thing, as long as we’re only talking about a couple of very specific things. However, I won’t hold back information that will help someone I’m close to if revealed, not even at the request of another person I’m close to.
2. Is there anything you wish you could tell someone but are afraid to do so?
– Well, just to tell her once again how I feel, what I wish and hope for and how I see it working… But it’d be pointless anyway, she knows all too well…
3. Who do you tell your secrets to?
– I don’t have secrets! Things that people might consider as private I just tell to anybody I have no reason to distrust, or even post them publicly. Got fucked over a few times, but that won’t change me.

VII. Desires:

1. Is there any material thing that you want desperately right now?
– Not including the necessities like decent food, water, reasonable shelter, etc., the only material thing I want is a kick-ass computer that I’d replace every three years or so. And yes, I desperately want that right now since this one’s five and a half years old, it’s crawling and has issues!
2. Is there anyone you want (and not just in a sexual sense) desperately right now? If so, who?
– Andra, of course. Why? Because I’m madly in love with her and always will be…
3. Food wise, what are you craving?
– Hm, I’m a bit hungry right now actually, but not craving anything specifically. I get food cravings extremely rarely and almost always ignore them even when that happens. Would never say no to a good pizza though. And found myself wanting some popcorn now and then for the past year or so, probably because I haven’t had any in about two years…
4. If you could make just one wish come true, what would you wish for?
– If it’s not already obvious from what I’ve written so far, being with Andra again. Actually, if I’m allowed a complex wish, having now what I said I hope I’ll have five years from now. Or, even better, what I wrote below as favorite non-sexual fantasy.
5. Sexually, what are you craving?
– Erm, sex? It’s been over two years, so the details matter less, as long as it’d be with her. Or as long as she’d be at least somehow involved, which could probably go all the way down to me doing it with a hypotethical other girl and filming it while they’re also filming themselves doing it and then swap movies. Not like any of it is possible, so it doesn’t matter… Do have ideas about how I’d like it to be in each case, but I’d be writing erotica again…
6. What’s your dream job?
– Something where I’d be using computers and the Internet while working for environmental projects. As I said before, the “behind the scenes” part, planning and gathering information. Has to be something I can do from home, without contact with others except on-line, and have no schedule, let me decide when to do each thing and certainly not require even a trace of my presence in the mornings, mornings are for sleep! Whoever said humans are diurnal animals anyway? Oh yah, and it should not be for money at all. If it’d also pay, ok, but the financial aspect must not matter at all.

VIII. Beliefs:

1. What is your religion? If you associate yourself with a specific religion, what are your beliefs when it comes to the creation of the world, etc.?
– Tough one… (Neo-)Pagan (a Wiccan “skeleton”, more specifically) with lots of other concepts, some from other religions, some scientific, some from theories dealing with the paranormal and some of my own. Changes can happen whenever I find something else that fits in well or something that explains things better than my current theories do. As for the creation of the world, I think science and evolution have explained that really well. The question that remains is how was the universe created in the first place.
2. What is your political stance? Why?
– Was actually thinking I’d need to coin a term for that, because as it is it’d be something along the lines of a “progressive green libertarian” ideology in a “meritocratic constitutional republic” as political system, with plenty of specifics. Basically the environment comes first, past that everybody’s free to do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t harm another, though there are a few specifics. Business should be tightly regulated, but due to environmental concerns, not social or economic issues.
3. What is your honest opinion of President Bush?
– A pompous, self-righteous moron… But he did have the guts to get rid of Saddam and of the Talibans in Afganistan, and seems likely to strike out at Iran now. Those are all legitimate targets in my book and somebody should have struck sooner, my problem with it is that he’s doing it for the wrong reasons and managing the situation all wrong after the initial strike.
4. What kinds of issues do you feel strongly about? What are they and why?
– Overpopulation, relationships and the environment are my top causes. Ok, overpopulation falls under environment, but I set it aside because of how strongly I feel about it. But I care a lot about a lot of major topics, politics, religion, human and animal rights, you name it.

IX. Favorites:

1. Food:
– Certain kinds of pizza I guess. But there are a few things I like for emotional reasons, if you will, things she liked to make, and I learned to make a couple of them too while there.
2. Color:
– Blue.
3. Person:
– If you’re asking about an idol, don’t have any. On a personal level, it should be quite obvious already.
4. Item of clothing:
– Huh? As long as it’s simple and comfortable and it keeps me warm when it’s cold or covers me from rain and sun when I go out (or just covers me because for some weird reason I won’t understand people don’t like nakedness), I don’t really care…
5. Beverage:
– Tea I guess…
6. Quote:
– Oh boy, have a lot… But I had “When you fall off a mountain you might as well try to fly, you’ve got nothing to lose…” as my signature for nine and a half years now, so I guess I could put that.
7. Location:
– Wooded mountain areas. Lots of nature, hopefully few people, hiking…
8. Non-sexual fantasy:
– Eh, take what I said I’d like five years from now, but say we’d be living in a small house with all amenities and a decent yard space at the edge of a mountain town. Forest and mountains all around, growing as much of our own stuff as possible, but also have the town nearby to be connected to anything and to be able to go and buy what we need when we need it.
9. Hobby:
– Doing stuff on-line I guess…
10. Day of the week:
– They’re all pretty much the same to me…
11. Book:
– Oh boy… I’ll say The Lord of the Rings because of what it did, basically created the genre of high-fantasy, but otherwise there are lots…
12. Band:
– Hmm… Like several, but there are only two that I actually care about, the rest I just listen to. Those two are Nightwish and Antichrisis. If I have to pick just one, despite how much I relate to Antichrisis’ lyrics, I think I’ll say Nightwish.
13. Cheese:
– Huh? Well, there are some kinds that I like more than others and others that I don’t like at all, but couldn’t be specific…