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Lonely July 12 Number 11

Last year I didn’t even write a post on this date, which feels completely wrong, especially since it’d have been the tenth since she left. At the same time, even considering the round number, what was there to say that I didn’t already say so many times before? It may always seem that it’s getting ever worse, but whenever I look back through such posts, which tends to happen at least on July 12 and September 27, I’m reminded it has been pretty much the same for several years now. A few areas where a slightly greater impact may occasionally be noticed may perhaps be identified, and that does count as the situation getting worse overall, but only marginally and if you really struggle to quantify it, so definitely far less than it feels like it is, day after day.

Should probably get to reading a few more pages of that book I’m the “alpha reader” for, as I’m just barely staying on pace to finish it in two months and can’t afford to skip a day, or even to do far less than usual in one, but I’m not sure how that will work, as I’ve been pretty much sitting here and mostly drifting off for the past few hours. Think I spent close to one hour solving a sudoku which should have normally taken me under ten minutes, and sometimes even closer to five, and that’s dealing with numbers, which my mind can grasp far better. Words are an entirely different matter…

May be better to crawl in bed for a while, but it’s getting a bit late for a possible nap and this crazy neighbor that keeps screaming at her child is quite a problem when I don’t have headphones on and am not listening to something, since closing the window in the evening is probably not the best idea now. It’s not too hot yet, still quite far from it for me, but it can get rather uncomfortable without the window open during this cooler time of the day, and I don’t want to get to the point where I’ll need to keep it open while sleeping quite yet.

And I again just left this open and drifted away, though at least I spent a few of these past 35 minutes replying to something. Had this open for I think some four hours already, and now there’s definitely no time to get through the number of pages I should be getting through today, not unless I’d just be reading them instead of going over every little bit so carefully, and I definitely won’t just read. So maybe staying in a debate about population control, especially with World Population Day having been yesterday, would at least mean I’d be doing something with my day… But it’s probably not what I should be doing, and having said debates in the comments section of an article on The Guardian won’t do anyone much good anyway. So I guess the book it is… Somehow.


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