Cav's Place

I need to let this out in just so many words right now because otherwise I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop myself anymore and I’ll tell it straight to her, which will ruin everything. And need to do it today just so I won’t risk doing it tomorrow and make it look even cheesier.
I’ll write it just as I almost said it to her several times over the past two days, just without bothering to translate my thoughts into Romanian anymore. I’m struggling so hard not to jeopardize what I have now, her just talking with me again… Don’t know what I’ll do if she’ll ever read my blog…

I love you, I’ll always love you and that will never change regardless of what happens. Nothing else matters, whether it’s past, present or future. I’ll always be here and do anything and everything I’m in any way capable of doing for you whenever you need somebody, unconditionally. I hope you know that, but I wonder if you’ll ever truly understand just how strong my feelings for you are. I only pray you’ll never feel the way I’ve been feeling every moment of every day since you left. The one thing I desire most is to see you happy. Preferably happy with me, yes, but happy first.

Doesn’t seem to help much, I still feel pretty much the same, still need to say it to her. But maybe it bought me a little more time, maybe I’ll be able to sit on my fingers while chatting with her for a while longer.
This isn’t for anybody to read, it’s just what I had to write right now…