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A Political Event, Daydreams, Emsisoft License Extended for Free But Still No Solutions

Don’t have much to say about these past few days and I definitely won’t get myself to write a non-personal post, but I guess it’d be about time for a shorter personal one too, after so many very long ones, just thrown here to have a second one written this week. Trying to get it out of the way earlier too, and would have done so either way, before I’ll get even more sleepy, but just as I was starting to write it my Internet access went out for a few minutes, and while it recovered quickly I did notice people working at the next building again, after having stopped while it was cold, so I fear cables being cut yet again.

I’m going to be sleepy because, after meaning to go to bed at 4:30 AM last night and eventually managing to be in bed just after 4:45 AM, I woke up at 9:45 AM today in order to attend an event organized by this new party created here, including some of the more leftist “old guard” activists. Thought I should at least do that much since I keep criticizing them for hardly being leftist enough and definitely not being visionary, just supporting some pretty basic center-left concepts that are a mix of “classic” ideas and a modern structure but largely allowing the system to continue when what’s needed is completely replacing capitalism with something else, truly radical leftist policies that are also futuristic, moving on from past and even present concepts. And now I’m also criticizing them for their list of candidates for the European Parliament elections, specifically for their choice of top candidate and for putting all women first, which is discrimination just as much as if they’d have put all men first on purpose and not in any way more tolerable.
Of course, I didn’t say anything there and, with everything on-line as well, there was little reason to attend, since I didn’t even stay more than a couple of minutes to try to listen to what they were talking about when everyone started just chatting after the event was over. Had plenty to say, to them and even to someone else from the audience, but of course I didn’t, just trying to decide whether I’ll write some stuff, much of it one more time, now or just leave it. Still, I just wanted to go, so got ready quickly and was actually out the door just a bit after 10:45 AM, when the plan was to leave at 10:50 AM, and was there more than ten minutes early despite walking slowly after getting out of the metro, and the event started 15 minutes late anyway. Finished some 20 minutes early too, so was back just after 1:50 PM, again with no need to rush, since dad had said he needed the metro card back by 2:30 PM.

Wednesday was a pretty bad day… Or not. Woke up at noon and went to pee, then meant to sleep some more but ended up just staying in bed for almost exactly two hours more, mostly in my own mind, imagining a few moments of an alternate past, things going somewhat better than they did. A few thoughts of some vague future in which things would be good again too, but I guess that’s too impossible even for daydreams… And for evening dreams as well, since I meant to nap in the evening, trying to make up for those two hours, and just ended up staying in bed for some two more hours, things going pretty much the same way. Andra’s birthday being next week probably has something to do with that, but it’s not just that. Not that I hadn’t occasionally done so before as well, but in recent months I’ve been finding myself thinking more and more often of a note I found while looking for something in the desk drawer after she left, while I was still there, obviously written by her early on, saying what she felt and how much she loved me… And I wish more and more that I’d have taken it, a connection like that, a piece of evidence that it was real. But I didn’t, and it’s just something left in my mind, which may or may not remain… And perhaps even may or may not be real…

As for yesterday, when I updated Emsisoft Anti-Malware after I woke up, I saw a notification that my license had been extended by 89 days. Had asked the support guy I’m talking to exactly when it expires, since I remembered that it should expire on February 14, but the program itself doesn’t list the actual date anymore, just the number of days left, and in my account on the site it said February 13, but the exact time wasn’t listed there either. I recalled that it was a bit after 9 PM, but if I either remembered the date wrong or they cut a day from it when they changed something, since they did change things regarding licenses and in ways that harmed existing customers, I assumed they could have changed that as well, so asked whether it’s the start or the end of the day, since I plan to install Windows updates and then see whether this version that was pushed to the delayed channel now will let me log on after rebooting, since the previous one definitely didn’t, and decide whether I’ll extend the license or need to start testing other products again based on that, and said that it was going to be tight either way, since the updates will only get released in the evening of February 12. And, yes, when I checked my e-mail after seeing that I saw his reply saying that it is indeed the 13th, around 8 PM Germany time, so I remembered the time correctly at least, since that’s one hour earlier, but then he added: “In May. You’re welcome.”
So been feeling awfully rotten and guilty about that since then. I mean, I didn’t ask for any extension and he said I shouldn’t feel guilty, that it’s in part just because I have problems with it for some time and they’re trying to make it right in some way and in part that it can even be said that I earned it by spotting that vulnerability, but by mentioning it like that, and after having mentioned it before as well, I do feel like I sort of did ask, in a way. And now I also feel rather pressured into extending it… But if it won’t work, I can’t do that. Quite sure that anything else will be even worse in general terms, have more nuisances I’ll need to deal with and even more serious issues, but if they changed something that simply won’t let me log on anymore, and if their new surf protection module also fails in some common scenarios in any browser and in even more in Internet Explorer, and I use that, as strange as it seems, I’ll need to switch, and meant to start trying other stuff this month. But now that I have three more months, I definitely don’t feel like wasting them on trying something else, yet that leaves me with the problem of what to do after needing to reboot. It may not be so terrible at the moment, if there won’t be any other issues and I’ll just reboot once per month, when installing Windows updates, since I should be able to restore from that December 22 backup again, install updates, update other programs, import changed settings and a few other things, then make another backup and only after that’s done allow Emsisoft Anti-Malware to update to one of these “bad” versions, so I’ll basically have a current backup that will still let me log on, but this is definitely no solution. So not sure what to do…

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