Tears and Songs
It’s been a long time since it last happened and I expect it to be a long time until it will happen again, but tonight I found myself able to cry. I’m not just talking about a few tears, I cried my eyes out for about 30 minutes. And I have Edenbridge‘s “Forever Shine On” to thank for it.
Speaking of that song, it has been on repeat so often and for so long lately that it rivals “Wish I Had an Angel” and “No More Tears” from that point of view. “Wish I Had an Angel” was the song I was listening to (with quite a bit of guilt) when I was very angry or scared towards the end of 2004 and during 2005, and then became the first song I got “stuck” on after Andra left. “No More Tears” just blew me away in the spring of 2002, despite having lyrics I don’t agree with, and then remained the song I fell back to whenever needed until things between me and Andra started going smoothly enough for me to no longer feel any need for music.
I have no idea why did it make me cry just now, after listening to it so many times before, but I’m happy that it did. And just to show how fucked up my so-called life is, I can honestly say that being able to cry so well tonight was the best thing that happened to me in the past several months. Not that it helped that much, I was feeling like crying again only one hour after I stopped. Too much pain…
