Cav's Place

I have recently found myself saying a couple of times that I know exactly what I want that money can’t buy, but have no idea what I want which could be bought. That doesn’t mean I don’t know the product categories. I know I want carpets for my room and a good video card and also thinking about some things which could pass for decorations, though that wouldn’t be their main purpose. But I don’t know what I want specifically, I’m not able to say that if I get this thing I’ll be happy with it and not find myself wishing I’d have chosen something else soon after. So I’d rather not get anything, choosing to allow myself the possibility of a good purchase at some unknown point in the future instead of trying something now and likely being less than satisfied with it.

That got me thinking. I choose not to get things (or to tell others to get me things, as it is) because I know they’re unlikely to result in contentment for any reasonable amount of time and don’t want to waste money (even if they’re not my own) and time on things which won’t offer what I’d expect of them. Whether that’s just because I don’t know exactly what I want or, on the contrary, because I know exactly what I want but it’s not available, or at least not affordable, is not important. It seems perfectly logical to choose to wait if what I could get now wouldn’t be good enough.
Perfectly logical to me, that is… However, it seems that most people don’t see it that way. Some actually think that getting one thing or another will make them happy even though it won’t, or at least not for long. They go with the impulse, don’t analyze. Then they end up feeling the need for something else to replace their recent purchase with and repeat the process, getting more and more things without even noticing the pattern. Others, on the other hand, are aware that their purchases won’t make them happy, but they still won’t hold back. They hope that someday they will find something that will make them truly happy, even if by trial and error. Or they are completely disillusioned, no longer hope that they could achieve happiness, and therefore willingly settle for things which will only make their lives a little better for a little while.

Businesses certainly like these kind of people, those who keep buying, and are very happy that they make up the vast majority of the population. Yes, many don’t buy things because they can’t afford them, but they’re in the same category because they would if they could. Businesses encourage the behavior, they are thrilled by people who don’t think, don’t plan, don’t control their impulses…
It’s a very sad thing to see. People wasting their lives working to make things others want (but often don’t need) in order to earn the money they need to purchase the things they themselves want (but often don’t need), made by others. On the other hand, it was very nice when somebody recently echoed a deep conviction of mine by saying “no amount of money is worth my time”. How much calmer, and therefore nicer, the world would be if many more people would think like that…

We could do so much more for ourselves and each other if money would stop being so important, if “stuff” would stop being so important, if we’d put contentment over achievement… The time thus freed and the peace of mind thus achieved would allow us to care much more for one another. It’s likely that many still won’t, humans are certainly not inherently good beings, but those will no longer have excuses, they’ll be exposed for who they are. As for the rest, they could then do, offer and receive so many more things that money can’t buy.
There is a lot of truth in the saying that money can’t buy happiness. Having enough to live comfortably is certainly a great help, but it all depends on what you have to do for them, how much of yourself you have to sacrifice. What’s the point of having money when you can’t enjoy them, when most of them are spent on things meant to counter the stress, unhappiness or even more serious health problems caused by what you have to do in order to obtain them?
No object can make up for the lack of your presence in the lives of those who love you, just like none could make up for the lack of their presence in your life. A hug and some heartfelt words are worth more than any token present you could offer your friend or significant other. A long and intimate discussion with someone who’s sad is worth far more than anything you could buy them in hopes of cheering them up. Being able to have frequent long and romantic lovemaking sessions with your significant other is worth far more than the exotic vacation you might be able to afford if you’d slave away all that time at work. Actually helping someone create what they want to create is better than just buying them some better tools. And I could go on and on, but you get the idea…
I’m inclined to say that people forgot those things, the important things… But did they ever really allow themselves to know them in the first place? When has society truly encouraged people to pursue their dreams and their positive emotions? Such sad things we are, fighting to chop each other’s wings off so none will rise above the rest instead of helping each other grow them so we could all rise together.

In the end… You can buy a lot of things, but so many of them are not necessary and have little value except the purely monetary one. However, a lot of other things, like peace of mind, health or love, can’t be bought, and many of those are necessary and of great value. Try to remember that long enough to teach it to others, so they’ll be able to teach you again in case you’ll ever forget.