Cav's Place

Sarah: Hey.
Cavalary: Hi.
Cavalary: What’s up?
Sarah: Not much over here. Sitting around since I’m off work for a few more weeks.
Cavalary: Nothing wrong with doing nothing.
Sarah: Sorry, had a phone call.
Cavalary: No problem… So… You know I have no idea what to say…
Sarah: I’m guessing you’re not talking to me now.
Cavalary: Um, why wouldn’t I? What did you do?
Sarah: Gah! Must not have sent.
Sarah: I’m pregnant.
Cavalary: WHAT?
Sarah: Yeah.
Cavalary: Weren’t you being more careful after last time?
Sarah: Yeah, we were until we decided we wanted this.
Cavalary: Then you’re right, there go ten years, fuck off!

And that’s how a friend of ten years becomes a sworn enemy with one phrase. Sarah was the person I’ve been keeping in touch with the longest, ten years just these days. Granted that it was on and off since Andra left, and for the past couple of months it was “off”, but still… Either way, I’ve certainly placed her firmly in the “enemies” section as of now.

I was just thinking about this over the past couple of months… Used to feel a bit rotten when I’d wish for bad things to happen to people who have children, but then I realized there’s nothing wrong in wanting a person to be punished for a crime they’ve committed. There’s nothing wrong in wanting rapists or murderers to be punished, so if I consider having a child (unless both parents are truly extraordinary individuals, by which I mean proven geniuses or record holding athletes who would also be in perfect health on top of that) as the worst crime possible, wishing the worst punishments on those guilty of it seems fair enough… At least I’d say that rapists and murderers usually deserve a second chance, but people who have children when the world is as overpopulated as it is certainly don’t!
That said, I have one last thing to say to Sarah and Dennis: Hope you’ll rot in the Hell you’re helping maintain on this Earth! (Not that they’re going to read this, it’d be quite impossible at the moment anyway, but I just need to have it out there.)

But of course this made me even more afraid. Anyone reading this should know that I’ll never tolerate this from anyone in my life, so it’s also the only thing I wouldn’t accept from Andra either, which makes it the only way to make things worse. So I keep worrying and panicking that maybe it’s going to happen, or it already has, and…
The fact that I ended up talking to Mandy and Laurel again recently, after four or five and seven years, respectively, and I noticed that they didn’t have any children, with Mandy clearly saying she won’t ever have any either, was mildly reassuring, making me think that there might be a nice pattern here and that it could hold. But now…
Not to mention that yesterday was July 12th, so it would have been quite hard to pick a worse time for this. Not that there could ever be any non-dreadful time for such filth, but still…