Cav's Place

Yesterday was Workers’ Day, which is a legal holiday here in Romania. With our rotten government trying to do everything they can in order to convince more people to support them and vote in favor of impeaching the (now suspended) president on the 19th, they decreed Monday a free day as well, resulting in a four-day week-end. Of course, that only applies to state-owned institutions and companies, private ones not being required to comply.

Anyway, the “traditional” way to celebrate it over here has nothing to do with the actual meaning of the day, but involves having a barbeque in a forest instead. In turn, that has nothing to do with any common sense, but usually goes something like this:
Episode 1 – Getting There: Pile up everything you could possibly need in the trunk. It won’t fit, so gather the family together and get them in the car. If children don’t want to go, pick them up and shove them in. Then stuff all other items in any available space, like under a seat, between somebody’s legs or in somebody else’s lap. Start driving towards a forest at the edge of the city. If you have any friends that are going to the same place, meet with them at some point and go the rest of the way together. Once there, find an unoccupied spot and claim it as your territory by stopping your car on it before another predator can get a chance to. Also consider the future, tire tracks and a possible oil leak work better than urinating on trees in order to let others know that you’ve been there.
Episode 2 – Setting Up Camp: Take out the folding table and chairs, grill, bag of coal, tablecloth, blanket, dishes, cutlery, raw meat, other food, drinks, sports implements, toys and anything else you might have brought with you. Put some (bad) music in the stereo and turn it on. Start spreading out the items on the ground, strengthening your claim over your chosen territory. Set up the table, chairs and grill. Start the fire.
Episode 3 – Contests: After making sure the designated driver gets an early drink, “so it will be out of the system by the time we leave”, the day’s contests may begin. The contestants are all those who are within visual, olfactive or, as the case may be, auditory range of each other. Trials include crowd favorites such as “having the worst music on the loudest”, “choking the most other competitors with your smoke”, “spreading the smell of your cooking over the widest area”, “performing the best imitation of an oligophrenic ape” and, of course, “leaving behind the largest pile of trash”.
Episode 4 – The Long Way Back: Gather the items you’ll still need and shove them back in the car, leaving behind everything else. Gather the family and get them in the car after the items. Start driving back home. Once there, get items and family back inside the house. Slump on the couch, turn on the TV, pat your belly, burp and exclaim “it’s good to be out in nature” on a satisfied voice.

A national newspaper wrote recently that such behavior is most likely caused by rebellion. Since people felt oppressed by the state, they wanted to take it out on something else, freedom being seen as having power over another. And that something was Nature… Also that people don’t feel responsible for anything they don’t own, and since they don’t own the forest, what happens to it is not their problem.
That sounds like a sound psychological explanation, but I have a better idea to explain all of it very simply.. How about plain, old stupidity? After all, man is the only creature that has ever accused mankind of being intelligent…

Either way, the next time you want to find a forest, look under the piles of garbage… And, while you’re at it, mind picking a few of them up as well? Who knows, maybe there’s something about the story of “The 100th Monkey” after all…