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1138 Days

Got a brief little hug yesterday, when I met Andreea. Was too surprised and feeling too crappy to even get to return it, but it still counts. Since the last one I got was on June 8th, 2007, from Jen, it means a period without hugs of no less than 1138 days, or 1138 days and about two and a half or three hours, to be even more exact, finally came to an end… It’s really sad when a little hug is such a major event, but it really is, so what can I do?
But that wasn’t yesterday’s only notable event. The other was that she took me to a few bookstores she knew of and I recognized one of them. The furniture was slightly different and the kind of books they were selling had changed quite significantly, but I was sure I knew the place the moment I walked in and a few seconds later I also realized how I knew it: Andra had discovered it back in the beginning, when she was visiting me here and dragging me along as she was exploring the city. I even recalled something bought from there, as well as exactly where something else I was interested in but decided against buying at the time was placed. Of course, it’s been some eight years and I said the kind of books they were selling had changed significantly, so what I remembered had nothing to do with what I saw, but I was flooded by memories nevertheless…
Now I guess I’ll have to figure out exactly where that place is, since Andreea got a bit lost at some point and I just tagged along until she could figure out where we were again, because we were in an area I had never been to since I got thrown back here and certainly didn’t have the slightest clue where we were myself. That means I can’t even say I’ll get there by starting from the last place I know how to get to and then going the same way we went yesterday… But I’ll figure it out somehow and then go there myself, even if just for the memories… Would sure be a sight if I’ll end up hunched in a corner and whimpering, but who the fuck cares…

Otherwise, I noticed a few days ago that my old blog was working again and sent Jen an e-mail asking how did that happen, after not working for a month and a half and forcing me to get my own site, and what’s up with the accounts, since I meant to delete everything and just put up a redirect to the new address but found myself unable to log on. Also took the opportunity to ask what does she know and is hiding from me, though of course I didn’t expect any reply seeing as she has been ignoring me completely for quite a few months.
Well, I did get a reply. Actually, she sent me two e-mails. One was a forward with some new account information, which I should use to do what I meant to do, and the other looked like an actual reply to my message. Needless to say, I’m too much of a coward to read that reply, just in case she answered my other question as well and she’ll confirm what I’m fearing, which is nothing short of the worst thing that could possibly happen… I’m only checking my e-mail late at night anyway, after eating, to make sure I’ll at least be able to eat that day, and don’t even feel up to using that new account information to put up that simple page instead of the old blog.


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