Cav's Place

I’m in no state to give details and don’t know that many either, since I haven’t exactly been following things over the past month, but both the efforts and the success need to be marked. Only attended Thursday’s protest, which was small and quite clearly had no influence in the outcome, and didn’t even take any pictures, and in fact there won’t be links of any kind in this post, especially since I’m writing it off-line, but I’ll just quickly write what I know…

After the PSD government asked for Romania’s submission asking for Rosia Montana to be declared a UNESCO World Heritage site to be suspended, in order for the procedure not to need to be started all over again, Romania had to ask for the suspension to be lifted before February 1, 2021. However, with PNL having replaced PSD at the top for the moment and elections coming later this year, obviously making them want to avoid angering people, it was a moment that couldn’t be lost and a campaign demanding the suspension to be lifted in time for the matter to be discussed again this year was launched. There wasn’t much time, the suspension needing to be lifted before February 1, the exact deadline I saw actually being 7 PM on January 31, but this is the issue that tends to unite everyone, so both the “old guard” and the activists that led the rather different movements that took place over the past three years joined hands, individually or as groups or NGOs, and in the end, despite those in power saying until the last day that the matter was being analyzed carefully and reminding those asking that the deadline won’t pass for another year, so there’s still plenty of time, the request to lift the suspension was actually sent on January 31. They stressed that public pressure had nothing to do with the decision, but that seems highly unlikely.

As far as I saw, it actually started with a few messages and an article in one of the few remaining major newspapers that simply reminded people of the issue, followed by some announcing that something was being prepared, but without details. The first clear campaign was started by Declic, asking people to send e-mails to the Prime Minister and relevant Ministers asking for the suspension to be lifted, and that campaign had some success, considering the short amount of time that was available. In addition, Declic also asked for donations to purchase advertising space on the large displays at Cocor, and actually managed to gather enough money to be able to display the demand there before the end of the month.
While that was going on, some “old guard” activists, including some that hadn’t really been involved in protests in years, made a huge banner listing the demand and also stating that PNL and PSD love RMGC, pretty much finally bringing back the old slogan stating that PNL and PSD are the “same filth”, which had been forgotten in recent years, those taking charge of the more recent protests and campaigns focusing only on PSD and, in some cases, even openly supporting PNL. And that banner was displayed in various places around Bucharest, with some similar efforts, albeit on a smaller scale, being made in a few other cities as well. In addition, there were a few small events staged in front of PNL’s headquarters, again making the point that they were just like PSD.
One notable event took place on January 29, when a few activists displaying that banner in University Square were detained for quite a few hours. Until then there had been no problems, the gendarmes being unusually accommodating, but at that point the Police got involved, and I heard that an agent simply took a knife and started cutting the banner down, and then someone of very high rank was called in and he ordered them all taken in. However, I heard that only one of the “old guard” activists was given a fine, the others eventually being released with only a warning, but after quite a few hours, during which time things had gotten heated outside of the precinct they were held in, where a few of the regulars from the past few years of protests and a few independent journalists had gathered, one of those protesters bringing eggs and throwing them, then simply pulling out his ID card and waiting to be taken in as well. That didn’t sit well with that high-ranking guy, however, and I heard that, after he furiously demanded to know who else had been throwing eggs a number of times, other agents eventually, and rather awkwardly, started pointing at a few others who were better known, giving him reasons to fine those as well. But probably the most infuriating part came when he was bothered by an independent reporter who was documenting the whole thing, becoming even more aggressive, kicking her camera and eventually ordering agents to grab her and literally drag her in, where she was also held for a while, pretty much laughed at by other agents, and eventually fined as well.

With time running out, although it was quite clear that the turnout was going to be so low that an actual protest on the matter was likely to actually send the message that too few people cared, especially since said protest needed to take place on a weekday, a protest was in fact announced, for the evening of January 30, from 5 PM, in Victory Square. Also heard that the Prime Minister came to talk to the few who had been in Victory Square during the day, but didn’t really get any details. Do have more about the protest itself, on the other hand, since that was the only one I attended, though it was indeed a sad affair, and I only counted about 150 people several times, so that peak number, if it can even be called as such, held quite steady from 6:45 PM or so, if not even 6:30 PM, until 7:30 PM, when I left. Did see more people, including some of the known activists, start to leave around that time, so I think that was pretty much the point when numbers started dropping.
Plans to start a march were being made around 6:45 PM, with hopes that despite the low numbers we’ll be allowed to take up one lane of the road, but I guess they were dropped when Alex noticed a group of several people leaving and couldn’t persuade them to stay. Still, that large banner had been brought, and ropes as well, and there was a cable passing overhead, probably one which had been used to hang the Christmas lights, so in order to at least do something with some impact, a number of people got together and eventually managed to raise the banner. As they were trying to do so, gendarmes came in, saying that what they were trying was illegal, and there were some heated discussions, but I don’t think anything else came of it, and they didn’t actually try to stop them. In addition, some people who said they had a protest announced for that same place that evening, between 8 PM and 10 PM, showed up during those discussions and said that, in order to avoid giving any reason for our protest to be declared illegal, they’ll cancel theirs, again showing that this is the issue that pretty much everyone will work together on.
Otherwise, there was another long banner, brought by others and held up by a number of people standing behind it, and a few smaller ones, including two brought by Greenpeace and one by Declic. Mihai Gotiu was also present from the start, and one of the “old guard” activists actually pointed out that, even in this crowd, very few politicians would have been welcomed so readily. But, of course, he led the protests in Cluj back then, before eventually moving into politics. Nicusor Dan was also there early on, but he left rather quickly, well before Vlad Alexandrescu and a few Demos members, including Claudiu, arrived. As for shouting, there wasn’t much of that, a few attempts being made by those holding that long banner around the time the “old guard” was making plans for a march, followed by a few minutes of more successful efforts by the “old guard” after that large banner was finally up. Must admit I was quite pleased when people actually took up that “same filth” chant about PSD and PNL at that point.

I probably missed some more things and messed up some details, but I do know that other efforts included an open letter signed by a few NGOs and sent to the President, asking for him to get involved, and Declic asking people to send individual messages to him as well on the day of the protest. In addition, there were talks about showing up at PNL headquarters in various cities the next day and even attempting to go inside and “occupy” them, as a final attempt to generate sufficient pressure. And a few such protests did take place on January 31, starting in the morning. But then the announcement came, at a point when few, if any, still actually believed that success was possible. This is far from the end of it, of course, but for now it’s a step in the right direction.

Just under three hours ago, Brexit truly became a reality. Yes, the rest of the year will be a transitional period and pretty much all the details are still up for discussion, and some less terrible things may yet come out of this mess, but I have been one of those who… Well, can’t exactly say I continued to hope all the way to the end that it’ll be avoided, since any remaining hopes died a month and a half ago, but even now I still continue to at least wish that things will somehow be turned around. Until and unless that happens, however, this is one of the strongest contenders for the top spot on the list of the worst things to happen in Europe for quite a number of decades, or at the very least since the start of this century.
Everything has pretty much already been said and written everywhere by now, and I couldn’t get myself to write much more about much of anything at this point anyway, so I’ll leave it at this, but I just wanted to express my… I guess my sadness would be the more appropriate term, since disappointment would imply that I realistically believed in a better outcome, which wasn’t exactly the case, considering my opinion of people. As I already said, I still wish for it, of course, ideally for the next government to have the courage to turn things around completely and for the process to skip as many stages as possible, but otherwise there are also the ways that involve splitting up the United Kingdom, with Scotland and Northern Ireland breaking away and returning to the European Union quickly, as independent countries, and then perhaps a part of England including London and at least a few other large cities, and possibly Cardiff from Wales as well, breaking away to form a country of their own and return as well, leaving just the rest of the territory outside if an agreement for the whole Kingdom to return won’t be quickly reached. But I don’t see such developments as probable, so I’m just left marking this sad moment and saying that, while clearly one of the worst in quite a long time for Europe and for the future of the entire world in general, in quite a number of ways, maybe some will find ways to avoid the most disastrous consequences. Again, hold few realistic hopes of that, humans being how they are, but just maybe…

Was saying I’ll add another quick post last night, but didn’t have the time to do so then, so I’m adding it now. It has to do with the Australian Open confirming, not that it was still necessary, that final set tie-breaks make me lose pretty much any interest in tennis. Just knowing that they exist greatly reduces it, since I pretty much only cared for tournaments that didn’t have them before, and if a match gets to that point, I’ll even switch away. I mean, after the first day, I didn’t even check the results anymore, and I used to carefully look every day during Grand Slam tournaments. But, while I also checked the results of the Romanian players and whether there were any surprises, mainly if favorites were defeated early, the main reason why I looked was just to search for those long matches, which now can’t exist anymore.
With matches being at night, at least this week, I’d have normally watched while I ate and also after, until I went to bed, at least having the match in the background, and then would have likely tried to catch some more matches after waking up as well, but this week I only looked if I was in the kitchen and found nothing else more interesting. And out of what I did happen to watch, the final set of the Khachanov-Ymer match was on while I was trying to get dad’s computer to start again, but once it got to 6-6 I no longer cared, and can’t even say I noticed who won at the time. Then, happened to turn on when it was 6-5 in the final set in the Federer-Millman match, and actually switched away at 6-6, though I did check again and ended up watching the last couple of points, mainly because Federer was involved and I also had that Wimbledon final with Djokovic in mind, where I still say that the fact that a tie-break was introduced in the final set was likely why he lost. Or today, when I turned on as they were excitingly talking about the Kyrgios-Khachanov match and my interest only lasted a few seconds, until I saw that it had ended with a final set tie-break, at which point I just shrugged it off and looked away. And, otherwise, Halep’s match started just before I went to bed last night, and I’d have probably stayed up to watch it otherwise, have done so in the past, but now I just couldn’t get myself to care enough. Not that I thought it was likely to get to a final set tie-break, but because I don’t see a tournament that has such a rule as a major one.

This week’s run was Monday, and the time was the third fastest so far over ten kilometers, 46:31.39, with sector times of 4:13.24, 4:58.22, 5:39.20, 4:24.32, 4:57 (4:56.20), 5:43 (5:42.93), 4:23 (4:22.96), 4:51.11, 5:35.72 and 1:48 (1:47.49), making for lap times of 14:50.66, 15:04 (15:03.45) and 14:49.79, which also means a new fastest lap three. And to think that when I left, a bit after 3:40 PM, I was allowing for the possibility to go for 16 kilometers if I’ll be too slow for ten again. And I was worried at first, feeling like I couldn’t sustain that pace after I started, but then saw that the pace in question was a fast one on the first two sectors and decided to really go for it, complete a lap in less than 15 minutes again, then allow myself to slow down later if necessary. But I was only a bit slower on lap two, which nevertheless remained faster than any lap since the end of November, not counting the one completed just before it, and then lap three was actually the fastest. Felt better during it as well, and really pushed on its second sector, helped by the fact that the straight was quite clear and I could really go for it there, start to end.
Woke up when the alarm rang, at 1:30 PM, and it seemed a bit windy when I looked outside, but after I actually went out I realized that it was fine, and only felt some wind on sector two of lap two, and a little more on sector two of lap three. The reported temperature was 4°C, so I had the shirt on, and the undershirt and t-shirt I wear inside under it, plus gloves, and of course the jacket for the walk, tied around my waist as I ran. But there weren’t many people and they didn’t cause any notable issues, only requiring some weaving and going the long way around. My left knee bothered me a bit on sector one of lap two, but it got better after that, though I then spent the next two sectors trying to snap my back the right way and regulate my breathing to make my liver stop hurting, eventually managing to do so and being able to really push for that great time on lap three. There was an issue I noticed on the way to the park though, when I felt something jabbing my left foot and I stopped on a bench to take that shoe off and remove what seemed to be a small splinter from it. And since I returned to what happened before the run, I’ll also mention that I had the usual stuff, again with a doughnut with jam as something sweet, and again had to try twice before managing to take a crap.

Got a reply from the manager of that Carrefour from the park in the evening, first just with some basic stuff about their sales changing on Thursday and being unable to list all the items included, but then asking for a copy of the receipt to see what could be worked out. So I sent pictures of both the receipt and the jacket’s label and mentioned again that I could have taken the jacket there in a bag to return it as unworn, then either ask to buy it again, or get another, either from there or from another location, or just give up on it and possibly cause them even more of a loss, and I’m sure that others would have done, and do, that, and end up rewarded for being dishonest, so it seems awfully unfair to be refused if I honestly stated what I was looking for from the beginning. However, I’m yet to receive a reply, so last evening I sent another message, not accusing directly, but instead asking whether my reply was received or perhaps filters blocked it due to the images, offering to upload them somewhere and send the links in that case, if the filters won’t block links as well.

Back to Monday, made myself mamaliga at night and felt rather off as I was going to bed, and the next day as well. It’s possible that it was because of the yogurt I added, since it was the last third of a large cup which had expired on the 15th, and I had last eaten from it on the 17th and didn’t freeze it, thinking that anything would be killed if I’ll put it in at least half an hour before taking the mamaliga off the stove, boiling it in there all that time. But maybe I was just exhausted after that fast run, and either way it wasn’t too bad.
I did just about need to rush to the toilet once again at exactly the wrong time on Tuesday, but that was because I was about to install this month’s Windows updates, since I hadn’t done that until then. But since I wanted to get that done before going, I was in my room when my phone rang and saw the number of that delivery guy again. Hadn’t received any SMS before and there was no point in answering, of course, but I realized he was going to bring me my phone back, so I rushed to turn the intercom on and got it, the guy just handing me the parcel and leaving, not even asking me to sign anything. And so far the problem didn’t reappear, but it’s of course way too early. Unfortunately, I removed that protection screen before sending it and I can’t really put it back, a lot of air bubbles being left under it and the lower part not seeming to want to fix itself at all. But I’m leaving it like that for now and in case it will actually bother me in time, I’ll decide what to do then.
Otherwise, once again there were no visits in either view that day, the fan speeds were once again stuck after updating, so I eventually, at night, turned the computer off and then back on in order to fix that, and Ascension to the Throne crashed twice. Since it hadn’t done that before, I wondered whether the updates caused it, but it didn’t happen again since then and the first crash was at the start of the second fight in a series, after I used the brief moment between the fights to level up my character, while the second was when I quit the game after starting it again to check that it still worked, so it might have been caused by something it still hadn’t cleaned up. And, to return to the phone, I also took the opportunity to put the SIM card back in the old one and sort through the numbers saved on it, deleting some, including the network guy’s, Susana’s and Jen’s, separating the rest and removing the duplicates caused by moving those from the new phone’s memory to it before sending it to be fixed, since the new one can’t edit what’s on the SIM card like that, nor does it allow multiple numbers for one entry.

Wednesday I went out again, mainly for toilet paper, and possibly also another one of those bags of oranges, since it was the last day when they were again on sale at Carrefour. Was out at 2:35 PM and took the recyclables as well, but this nearby bin was again full, so I was struggling to make the stuff fit when a woman who seemed to work for the cleaning company shouted at me to put them in her bag instead and came with that bag, helping me do so for what I had left, since the wind was carrying stuff away. Then I walked to the usual Carrefour, left the stuff I drop off at Kaufland in a cabinet I couldn’t lock, got a bag of oranges and an expiring large yogurt, found a €0.10 coin just past the checkout, grabbed those things again, dropped them off at Kaufland, where I could lock the cabinet I put the oranges and yogurt in… But I couldn’t find this kind of toilet paper there. In fact, plenty of things seemed to be missing, including onions, which were another thing I was sort of looking for.
But I had the metro card, so I walked to the metro station, went to the one at Basarab and got toilet paper and onions from there. Used the self-checkout again, and kicked a 0.01 RON coin ahead of me as I was walking out, picking it up before scanning my receipt in order to be allowed to leave, and the guard told me that I could look around every machine and grab dropped coins if I wanted, which was quite obviously a passive-aggressive statement, but I just smiled and brushed it off… And then ended up hoping I didn’t lose any onions, since the next people again stood right next to me as I was using the machine, making me feel rushed, and I hadn’t grabbed the bag with the onions properly and only noticed when picking up my other things from the cabinet that it had come undone. Admittedly, I had ended up pressuring the person ahead of me in the same manner, since someone was waiting next to me, not even behind, and as soon as the guy finished paying and started picking up his things she told me to go ahead, and I did so in order to avoid needing to explain why I didn’t. Either way, was back at 5:40 PM… And timed my squats again that day, the time being 2:11.

As for yesterday, cleaned my room a little and made dad’s computer start again, after he left me a note saying that it again wouldn’t start anymore. Still don’t really know how I’m doing that, and just cleaning some of the dust from the CPU cooler didn’t fix it this time, but pushing against the power connectors going to the motherboard and CPU apparently did, though it’s also possible that it doesn’t really have anything to do with that, but with something I don’t really realize I’m doing, with the way I move it in order to gain access, or even simply with turning it off and back on until it just works again on its own. Either way, considering how messed up I was when he asked me to turn it off and it wouldn’t work anymore and that he didn’t even look at me then and just dismissed my concerns and the state I was in, after putting it back in the desk and reconnecting everything I didn’t even check that Windows started again, just entering BIOS and then turning it off.
Well, apparently that led to a much worse mess, since when he got back in the evening he went straight to the computer and turned it on, once again without unplugging my cable first. And he hadn’t done that a couple of days earlier either, again saying he didn’t understand what I meant when I told him to do so before, but that yes, that time he finally got it, despite having said the exact same thing that last time as well… Yet the very next time, since the day before I had unplugged it myself first, he again didn’t do it, and again started explaining that he just wanted to check if it worked since I hadn’t left him a note and didn’t come out of my room the moment he walked in, and I had supposedly walked in while it was still booting up, “there was that white text on black”, though that was an obvious lie since I looked at the screen as soon as I got there and I saw the desktop. So I obviously just lost it, shouted, he shouted back, said that what I wanted was “fanatism” and it annoys him and he won’t put up with that, making it clear than it’s not a matter of not understanding, which would be impossible by now anyway, but of refusing and actively trying to force me to give in and accept to share the connection like that. Which obviously won’t happen.
There was also some shouting about the computer issue, how I shit myself when it comes to such things and he doesn’t care, and he again proved that he doesn’t care and likely sees it as a whim he needs to force me to give up on, and then, when he pushed past me to take something to the balcony, I went back to my room and got under the blanket, shaking but somehow eventually managing to nap a little. Was awake again by the time he left though, because I was about to piss myself, so I struggled to hold it in until he finally left, then took care of that problem and had a slice of that panettone his sister gave us for the holidays and which I kept… Actually, that was the only thing out of the whole pile of sweets we got that I specifically said I wanted for myself, asking for it to be left untouched until we’ll finish everything else, so moisture won’t get in it and make it spoil… Yet he nevertheless opened it and took a slice a couple of days after I said that, and then, some time ago, took some more, in fact a whole third of it, telling me when I pointed it out that he had just forgotten that I wanted it.
To return to the matter at hand, wrote him a long note after eating that night, leaving it on the kitchen table, and then obviously couldn’t sleep. I think he came back late this morning, and I was still awake at that point, and when he went to bed as well, only managing to catch a very brief nap after that, waking up after a bad dream. I was again at my grandparents’, of course, and all of this was happening, and he again said that his computer wouldn’t start, and when I panicked he said he’ll put me back somewhere, at which point I ran to the other house that was there and locked myself in. But he called my cousins and, as I was trying to pull something out in order to arm myself and couldn’t, they somehow unlocked the door even though I had left the key in it. And then my uncle was there as well, walking to me as my dad was trying to sneak in from the side, my uncle telling me to take those things I was trying to pull out and use them for comfort and trust him it’ll all be all right. But I said he was one of the very few in this family that I could perhaps trust back then, but that was then and he died anyway, so when dad also appeared next to me and my uncle got close and pulled out a syringe, I kicked them, grabbed the syringe, jabbed dad in the neck with it, pushed past my cousins and ran to the storage shed, somehow jumping on the roof and then back down on the other side, continuing to run and waking up, after what couldn’t have been more than minutes of sleep. And while there were no other such dreams after that and it was 2:50 PM when I finally got up, I doubt I got more than a couple of hours of sleep, split into several parts…

After writing the first part of this last night, finished it after getting up today and then pretty much stayed in bed, adding this part after I went to pee again, before getting back there. And since I’ve obviously been hiding from dad again, that means I didn’t go to the kitchen, so didn’t even make tea to have something to drink. I guess I’ll leave this here as it is and use the file’s time if I’ll only be able to get on-line to post it after midnight, so what I mean by “today” and “yesterday” will be clear, and maybe in order to be able to throw a very quick second post on here tonight as well, to be done with this week.
Should also finally get around to uninstalling Kaspersky Anti-Virus, since I guess the limited functionality mode also has a limited time, as I stopped getting updates last weekend, a day before it let me know that 30 days passed since the trial expired and it was my last chance to register, likely going for another trial of Arcabit Antivirus, since I know it’s bad but at least works to some extent and I don’t want to have to actually try something else now, but I can’t do that off-line and really don’t want the trouble at the moment at all. A rock and a hard place, this, since I’m already so worried and anxious because of the situation with the connection and both doing something and not doing anything about the security software only makes it much worse. I could, of course, just purchase a license for Kaspersky Anti-Virus, but I’m still hoping I’ll be able to use ESET Antivirus instead, yet that would mean going for another trial and seeing that the problems with Vivaldi are gone, which I rather doubt and, either way, I can’t get myself to do that now, so I’ll just keep trying to delay and hope it won’t worsen anything other than my mental state, at least.

I guess I’m writing an update this week after all, setting something up temporarily in order to post it and move that scheduled post again. Ended up at one of the major ISPs now, since no such networks operate in this area anymore, but I won’t accept that this is something permanent, won’t share the connection with dad and won’t normally go to certain places on it, so we just have one connection and I’m only connecting when that computer’s off, and not doing the usual stuff. Extremely uncomfortable and anxious about posting this now on it, and I am just posting, having written it in a file. But while I’m on the topic of the site, I again saw no visits on January 11 and 14, though it’s again rather odd, because I seem to remember having seen something for January 11 at first. May be wrong, of course…

To start from the beginning, the network I was in actually shut down on January 5, not the next morning or even at night, but just after 12:30 PM. Got up after dad left and just managed to catch the last few minutes, starting to do something and having it cut off before I was really done, but it was a good thing I at least caught those last few minutes.
In the evening, there was a note from dad on the kitchen table saying he had already made two contracts with one major ISP, so we won’t share a connection and an IP, and he was asking some things, but I obviously couldn’t handle that, really cracked when I read, whimpering and hugging myself and rocking back and forth and being frightened and angry and wanting to scream but just stopping myself and ending up doing so in writing. Kept writing “no” and “cancel” in large letters, probably illegibly most of the time, first all over his note and then on several more pieces of paper. Kept alternating between meaning to struggle to eat after all and just running back into my room and staying there without eating, had a doughnut with honey and then meant to grab some more things, but he coughed and I thought he’ll wake up, so I ran back to my room and struggled to breathe, hugged myself and rocked back and forth again for some time before running out again and grabbing a little more food to take to my room. Was a complete mess, couldn’t even think, had no idea what to do, was just faced with something that couldn’t possibly happen, having a contract with a major ISP made for me and being expected to use it normally, but as I somehow ate those few things while reloading for a long time to get the best prices from the shopkeepers on Kingmaker, I eventually managed to calm down just about enough to get back, throw away all those papers and write a long reply, which I left on dad’s nightstand, before going to bed at 2:50 AM.
Got up around 10:45 AM or so, meaning to go to the toilet because I thought dad was out, but when I stepped out of my room I saw that he was in the living room and froze. Just stood there for minutes, couldn’t do anything, until he started typing and I ran there, stood on one knee and babbled and whimpered, quite certainly making little sense, and he kept asking what was I trying to say and getting angry, but I eventually understood that he had canceled the second contract, so there won’t be one made for me or a second one at all for now, keeping the options open for later. But he had also spoken to the network guy and he had no solutions either, didn’t know of any other network in this area or anyone willing to take over his, or at least this area, and also said that nobody’d accept to use his equipment either in order to come to this area, even though that never was an issue when a network was taken over or we had to switch before. Still, dad also said that the son of that friend of his had spoken to that other network from this area in more detail and they said they’re focused on moving now, won’t talk about connections until that’s done, probably in March. So I had something to cling on to, and I’ve been doing that since then.
Someone came to install things that day, but just left again after realizing that the building wasn’t connected, only the other two major ISPs having already made connections here, and he didn’t have the tools for that. He came again the next day, and left yet again, saying he wanted a stamped statement from the building’s homeowners’ association stating that the cable won’t be cut, so dad had to sort that out with the administrator, who was baffled by the request, saying that none of the others had asked for anything of the sort. Surprisingly, that evening I noticed an active connection on the old cable, which was still connected, and while I quickly unplugged the cable, not knowing what that was about, dad later found out that the son of that friend of his had left the cables as they were as well and had just had his new connection, with a different provider, set up, so we had ended up being able to access it. But our connection was only finally installed on January 9, before leaving for the doctor’s appointment, and later I noticed the second contract on dad’s desk, the one not tied to the one we have for the landline, and costing about 50% more as a result. When I asked about it, he said he had just delayed it and ended up canceling the first one instead, because they’d have hooked up that one to the phone outlet, which is behind a wardrobe that he really didn’t want to move, and had also been told that the connection’s worse when done that way…
Since there’s the cable that used to connect dad’s computer to the switch in my room, connecting my computer to the router, which is currently in the living room, wasn’t a problem, but, again, I’m only doing so when that computer’s off and not exactly being active, in fact pretty much the only “signs of life” I gave on-line since the network shut down being some posts on the GOG.com forums and a couple of submissions on MobyGames, and I feel very uncomfortable and anxious even about that. And that got even worse yesterday, when dad asked that son of that friend of his to come over, bring him another cable and also fix the jack for this one, since it was broken and my connection was very unstable unless I placed the router in a certain position, and he wanted to check that it worked correctly, so dad came over to ask me to connect the computer while that one was also on, and with that guy there, with me not knowing what he was doing. And I also got a notification about an IP address conflict at that time, and I couldn’t see the connections to the router after that. Mine did show up when I tried again, after the guy left and I turned the router off and back on, but dad’s doesn’t seem to show up at all… Can’t say whether it ever did, of course, but that’s odd, and means I won’t be able to check that his computer really isn’t connected.

Didn’t use this time to start reading anything yet, but at least I used it to play a bit more, and finally finished the Kingmaker campaign from Neverwinter Nights: Kingmaker on January 8, starting the ShadowGuard one that same day, though I haven’t gotten far since then. Played a little more Ascension to the Throne as well, but got to battles in which I can’t avoid immediately losing unique units and I want to keep them alive, so I may end up setting it aside for now. Do mean to try to push through though, so it won’t count as having taken a break from it, but I’ll see what will happen.

Did time the squats again, if only twice, 2:09 on January 13 and 2:20 on January 14. Did them in the kitchen both times, and the first time I was way too fast and my feet kept slipping, my legs sliding to the side and forcing me to pull them back into position, making it even harder. Even so, I did the first 50 in about one minute, probably less, and it’s possible that I lost count and actually ended up doing 101, but was completely exhausted after 80 and slowed down quite a lot, as otherwise I’d have ended up with a new record.
That actually was a bit of a concern for this week’s run, which was on January 14, since there was a bit of pain after that effort, but it was fine in the end. Had the usual stuff, though the yogurt was one of those “Greek” ones, and as something sweet it was again a doughnut with jam, and went out at 3:15 PM, when the reported temperature was 6-7°C. It was sunny too, but there was a bit of wind and I didn’t just have the training shirt on, but also the undershirt and t-shirt I was wearing around the house under it, plus of course the jacket for the walk to and from the park.
The time was 47:28.46, with sector times of 4:27.28, 5:05.24, 5:50 (5:49.97), 4:25.32, 5:00 (4:59.33), 5:44.14, 4:25.48, 4:57 (4:56.45), 5:46.30 and 1:49 (1:48.95), making for lap times of 15:22.49, 15:09 (15:08.79) and 15:08.23. Started more slowly, meaning to catch up from sector three of lap one, but that didn’t go so well, so the first lap was worrying, making me push hard from the start of lap two, thinking I’ll aim for a good time on that lap and then see what I’ll have left. But it turned out very well, as I had no problem to keep it up and after sector two of lap three I started thinking that I just had a shot at staying under 47:30 as well, and I actually managed that, though I doubted it all the way to the end. Felt just fine, and while there were a fair number of people, that just meant some weaving and going the long way around, only slowing down a bit once, on sector one of lap three, when a guy on roller skates caught up just as I was going for an opening between other people and he was faster and less maneuverable, so I allowed him through first.

Last week’s run was on January 10, and going out at 3:45 PM meant I didn’t really have time to go for 16 kilometers again before dark, but I didn’t wear that thing to protect my nose again, so I really wanted to stay under 48 minutes on ten kilometers… And the day didn’t start well at all. Had been awake for a long time, having slept little after waking up to pee at 10 AM, but only got up a bit after 1:30 PM… And made the really bad choice to struggle to not hide from dad again, which led to him trying to talk to me about the router, me walking away, mumbling that there was no time for that and I didn’t want to talk about it anyway, him angrily saying that we needed to talk about it, and me running to my room and hugging myself and rocking back and forth again, and being unable to take a shit when I tried to do so after he went out. I tried to move the router to a different place, according to what he had managed to say before I walked away, but the cables wouldn’t allow it and I just ended up with a bit of pain in my legs due to the position, which was again a concern but again proved to not be a real problem as I ran.
Again had the regular stuff, again with a large doughnut with jam and honey as something sweet, and just had the running t-shirt under my shirt, plus of course the jacket for the walk. Since it was sunny and the reported temperature was 9°C, it might have been possible to try to run in just the t-shirt, with an undershirt under it, but it was rather windy, so I didn’t risk it, and that proved to be the right choice. And I also did manage to take a shit after all, when I tried a second time.
The time was 47:39.40, with quite a jump for the line at the end and sector times of 4:20.79, 5:05 (5:04.27), 5:51.17, 4:34 (4:33.81), 5:00.16, 5:49.14, 4:27 (4:26.90), 4:59.40, 5:46 (5:45.58) and 1:48.18, making for lap times of 15:16.23, 15:23.11 and 15:12 (15:11.88). That first lap didn’t exactly look good, and sector one of lap two was even worse, but I had lost time on that one, and things got better from the next sector, when I started pushing. There were some people, making me weave and go the long way around, but yes, the real roadblock was on sector one of lap two, first only losing a little bit of time to wait for an opening under the bridge, but then losing a fair bit more right after it, when I had to first wait for a moment to even be able to go on the grass, towards the lake, and then needing to do so where the ground slopes quite sharply and also go around a drinking fountain, which I grabbed on to in order to avoid slipping towards the lake. Might have been better to wait one more moment for the people coming from the opposite direction on the other side of the path to pass the group in front of me and then go for the opening created by them, but I didn’t. And there was one more issue, just at the start of sector three of lap three, when I was looking at the stopwatch and an old man was walking slowly right towards me, not stepping aside even though I obviously wasn’t going to do so, not even seeing him until he was right in front of me and I had to quickly sidestep in order to avoid him.

There were some incidents after both runs, the one after this first one actually involving me, since I was going to have a look in this nearby Mega Image on my way back when I heard someone walking quickly from behind, tried to step aside but felt the person bumping against my hand. Realized it had been done on purpose when I tried to apologize in passing and the guy got into my face and started accusing me of hitting him, but I just said a few times that I hadn’t and he eventually went back to his laughing friends. They all came into the store while I was still inside, but I just avoided them and walked out without any other problems. On the other hand, as I was walking back from this week’s run I saw another accident, but didn’t notice any visible damage and don’t even really know what happened, as I just heard the noise and then saw two cars stopped and one driver angrily asking the other whether he looked where he was going.

I mentioned the doctor’s appointment above, on January 9, and that actually went very well in itself. Started with very good news as well, as my grandmother was unable to come, so that situation was avoided and it was just me and my parents, dad bringing my mother here the day before and taking her straight back after the appointment. With the appointments starting at 3:30 PM, dad’s being the first one, I thought we’ll leave at 3 PM and had just put water on the stove to make tea, whimpering and again being quite a mess after the new Internet connection was installed, when he came and said we’ll actually leave at 2:30 PM, so I took the water off and rushed to eat something before we left, which actually happened at 2:40 PM. And we only needed about half an hour to get there anyway, then we just waited until 3:35 PM, when he went in. I was next, and the doctor really was nice, and she didn’t find anything important, only saying that there’s a bit of inflammation in my nose, things don’t quite look as the textbooks say they should, but that’s the case for everyone, considering the pollution in Bucharest. She wanted allergy tests, but I didn’t, so she just wrote me a prescription for some simple spray to clean my nose, plus another against allergies which I should just use in case things get bad again, though after reading the effects and possible side effects I’d much rather not use it at all, and said I should be back in a month, to see how things go. And she also took a swab to test for an infection, but said it was unlikely, and I checked the results on-line and confirmed that there is none.
There was some waiting after I got out, and while we’d have had to wait for my mother’s appointment as well anyway, it took even longer, problems with the system causing delays, making it impossible for them to release prescriptions with reduced prices and possibly other things as well, and causing the lobby to fill with people who were getting increasingly annoyed with the wait. But it was eventually sorted out and we could leave at 5:20 PM, and I was dropped off at Basarab, to go to the Kaufland from there, while they kept going. And I didn’t do anything there either, since I was looking for a kind of cat food that was supposed to be on sale, but that apparently didn’t include the specific type ours eat, that one wasn’t available at all, and I didn’t feel like checking other locations, so I just came right back from there, getting here just before 6:35 PM.

One other thing that happened that day, on the way to the clinic, was that my phone gave that error again, so there was probably another message that I lost. And then it happened again on January 11, 30 minutes before the message from dad that I did receive, after turning it off and on again, letting me know that I could come back, since the guy who had been here had left. So, before going to bed that night, I finally filled the form to send it to be serviced under warranty, and the request was approved on January 13. It’s now under the extended warranty, and since I paid for that I made use of the complete service, having someone pick it up, but that was a bit awkward, since I received a first SMS at 6 PM on January 13, stating that it’ll be picked up between 10 AM and 7:30 PM that day, which couldn’t be right… And I couldn’t have handed it over then anyway, since I needed the printed invoice and warranty certificate as well and the printer refused to work. I had seen dad print a test page after refilling the ink, so didn’t even think there could be a problem, but I connected it to my computer and it wouldn’t work, and he was unable to get it to work again later either, despite saying that it had worked for him after a few tries. He eventually managed to print bad but somewhat readable copies of what I needed using the other printer.
Received another SMS the next day, at 11:10 AM, when I was still awake after having gotten up to pee a bit before 11 AM, and while it said the same thing as the previous one, that time I expected it to be correct, so I changed before getting back to bed, so I’ll be able to jump straight out if somebody’ll come. But nobody did before I finally got up, at 12:40 PM, after only managing to nap a little bit more during that time, in part due to hearing chainsaws again, those who had “pruned” the trees in the area behind the building to little more than bare trunks the day before returning to complete the destruction, leaving behind an even more terrible sight and effects that the area will never recover from. The day before they had started cutting early, the sound of chainsaws likely waking me up before 10 AM, if not even 9 AM, though I only got up to have a first look a bit before 10:30 AM, seeing how savagely they were cutting branches, and that they likely cut at least a few trees completely as well. They kept at it until a bit after 2 PM that day, leaving just destruction behind, as it keeps happening all over the city.
But to return to the phone, the guy came some time later, at just about the worst moment, calling just as I was on the toilet and dad was out for a little while. At least it was before I left to run, but that old phone dad gave me, which I had put the SIM card in again, apparently won’t work for calls, since I could hear the guy but he couldn’t hear me, so he called twice, hung up after a while both times, then rang the intercom as I was rushing to wipe at least the worst off. Ran there and managed to open just the instant before he gave up, since he called again just then, then ended the call and came up as I rushed to my room to grab the keys, leaving him to wait at the door a moment longer. He said right away that he heard the phone ring but nothing else, I tried to explain the problem, but I doubt he cared or even listened, likely being quite annoyed with the whole thing, so he just asked if I had something to send to be serviced, I handed him the box, he printed and handed me the receipt and walked away, not even glancing inside the box or at the documents. But it seems to have been good enough, since today I received a message stating that they started servicing my product.

Since I got to today, after only going to bed at 5:20 AM, I woke up at 9 AM, maybe because dad left then, went to pee, got back in bed, but had a hard time getting back to sleep. There was some sound of chainsaws again as well, apparently cutting the branches which they hadn’t cleared away yet in order to be able to load them into the truck, but I guess the fact that I was worried was the bigger reason why I just napped a bit more before waking up again at 11:30 AM to pee one more time, and then I’m not even sure I got another very brief nap before getting up, at 12:30 PM. I had an alarm for 1 PM, but there was no point in waiting for it, since I had to go to the bank to stop the deposit made a year ago from getting renewed for another year, since it was made like that back then and I only noticed when I was given the documents and couldn’t get myself to ask for everything to be done again in order to fix that.
The only issue was before I left, when I struggled with the new jacket’s zipper for some ten minutes, since it had caught a bit of fabric and wouldn’t budge anymore, but I eventually got out at 2:40 PM and everything went just fine. I first tried the more advanced machine that’s inside, noticing a “deposit” option there as well, on the second page, but didn’t want to risk it, so I waited my turn, said that I wanted that deposit to not be renewed and to have that amount plus what I’ll add today be turned into a new deposit, for only six months, and everything was done in a few minutes, though I was left with 0.81 RON in my account, that change not being added to the deposit and I again didn’t want to ask for things to be done again just for that reason, and I also thought it possible that only integer amounts can be entered, so didn’t think about it too much.

I mentioned a new jacket above, and unfortunately that did cause quite a problem and a huge reason for frustration today, after I sorted things out at the bank. Had noticed it in Carrefour earlier, when looking for something else, and it made its way into my mind even though I rather ignored it at first, so Monday I tried one on, then Wednesday evening I actually purchased it, wanting my mother to also have a look at it with a critical eye, since she was here that evening and was going to leave again in the morning. So I went out at 7:25 PM and actually needed just about two hours to get back, but I took my time, seeing two size M ones left, one of them likely being the one I had tried on already. Was tempted to get the other one though, because while it had more loose strings, they didn’t seem to be potential problems, while this one seems to have one that may come undone, but after trying that on and checking both for quite some time, the very last thing I checked, one of the upper pockets, made me change my mind, as that other one simply had a hole in that pocket! Thought about letting an employee know, but couldn’t get myself to do so, instead just getting this one, trying it on again, checking it one more time, really considering to try to hide it away somewhere and come back the next day, but eventually buying it, along with a couple of other things, just after 9 PM. And I do like the jacket, but have serious questions about how long it’ll last and there’s the matter of the price…
The thing is that, while discounts for clothes have started, January 15 being the normal start date and Carrefour actually listing January 2 to February 28 as the period, and this had a yellow price label as well, which normally marks products that are on sale, there was no old price listed on it, indicating that it wasn’t actually discounted. And Carrefour does change prices on Thursday, so I did mean to have another look and see whether a discount appeared later, and try to get the difference back in that case. So I even kept the label on it and today I went there after sorting things out at the bank… And saw the price listed as 100 RON instead of 145 RON! And then I scanned the label and it indeed showed up as costing 100 RON! So I went straight out, to the information desk, and asked if something could be worked out if I purchased it probably less than one work hour before the price changed, assuming it changed Thursday and seeing as that location closes at 10 PM, and considering that seeing such a period listed for clothes sales can create a reasonable expectation that prices remain for that period. But I was told that their sales can change every day and clothes that haven’t been worn can be returned, but if I wore it for two days that can’t happen anymore. Not that I wore it for two days, since I didn’t go anywhere yesterday, and I could have easily thrown it in a bag, claiming that it hadn’t been worn, and I pointed that out, also saying that many would likely do that, and that clothes are being tried on in the store as well, but that didn’t get me anywhere. But I wasn’t trying to actually return it, but to get that difference back, even as store credit. But, as I said, I got nowhere, also being told that waiting another day might have meant that they wouldn’t have had my size anymore, so it can be said that I paid that difference for that.
Threw something about knowing where I won’t be going anymore over my shoulder as I left, then got back here and was actually angry enough to call the number on their site. However, that number is for the site, and the guy said that physical stores don’t have to accept returns and anything else is a matter of individual store policy, nothing being established at corporate level, so if the people at that store refused to do anything for me, there’s nothing else to be done, and trying to talk to someone who could decide on the matter would just mean talking to the people at the same store again. I even mentioned the possibility of store credit valid only for today, which I’d go and use right away, and while the guy went silent for a few seconds at that point, he nevertheless ended up just repeating that there’s nothing to be done if the people at the store refuse. So I then tried to call the number listed for this store as well, seeing a man’s name as the e-mail contact, but a woman’s voice answered and I didn’t want to just talk to the same person again, and my anger only allowed me to talk to people so much anyway, so I just hung up and wrote an e-mail to that listed address, explaining the situation and asking for that store credit, if at all possible. Don’t have reasons to hope I’ll get it, and I’m very much aware that I could have had much better luck if I would have lied, placing it in a bag and saying it hadn’t been worn, or even that I had received it as a gift, in which case I would have likely been at least able to return it, if not to also purchase it again at the reduced price, but I went there wearing it and that eliminated that option, and I don’t want to lie anyway. But if they want to be like this, I’ll keep it in mind and find ways to get back at them. And I will definitely report on the situation thoroughly when I’ll receive the next survey, since I’m a member of their panel.

Now that I got all of that out of the way, I’m just left with the regular shopping trips, starting with the one on January 5, when I had noticed we were running out of Liza’s food and dad had left money. With the network already dead, I didn’t wait out the weekend, going out at 3:45 PM, taking the recyclables out as well, and waiting until 4 PM for the free bus for Auchan. Meant to use it to go to the one at Vitan, but since that didn’t come, I walked, and also ran some of the way, to the usual one. Saw another one of the free buses get to the stop after the park just as I was crossing that street and the driver seemed to wait, since I was running, but I gave up on the idea of trying to catch it, was feeling awkward about it, so I stopped in order to make the message clear and it left after a moment.

The next one was on January 11, when I was still awake after peeing some 20 minutes earlier when, at 10 AM, somebody started ringing and knocking, and even whistled loudly once. It was apparently the building’s administrator, but dad seemed to sleep right through it, getting up half an hour later, and I guess they only met later that day, but I didn’t know what that was about at the time and my mental state got even worse as a result, I couldn’t sleep anymore, panicked even more, and got up for good after dad left. Did get back in bed just before 2:45 PM and slept for about one more hour, but in the evening I had to go out, since dad was going to come back with some guy and I didn’t want to be here then. Since he said they’ll get here no earlier than at 5:30 PM, that was when I left, taking some remaining books to donate to a place in this mall next to the park, since there’s a campaign asking for books for school libraries.
After dropping those off, I went to that Carrefour, getting two kilograms of cheap carrots. Expected the yogurt to be a lot cheaper as well, and the cabbage to also be a bit less, but that wasn’t the case, so I didn’t buy any and after getting back I checked again and saw that the catalog did indeed specify that the prices for the food products were only valid until January 8, even if I guess there’s a single date field on the site and that stated that the catalog was valid until January 15. Saw what seemed to be a good offer for shampoo though, but didn’t buy any then, walking to the Kaufland from that area next, finding nothing interesting and then taking the metro to the bigger Carrefour.
Didn’t walk in at first though, since I had those carrots, couldn’t see any keys at the cabinets and couldn’t get myself to talk to a guard, so I walked to the Kaufland at Basarab as well, left the carrots in a cabinet and ended up buying some Sibiu Salami that was already sliced and discounted. I really avoid such products, but I’ve actually been considering buying just a small quantity of that salami for some time now, for some reason recalling eating it when I was little more and more often, and it was just under 100 grams and, discounted like that, at a reasonable price, so I went for it. Then I tried to add it to that cabinet, but ended up needing to move it and the carrots to another since it refused to lock again, and made my way to the bathroom to justify putting things back instead of taking them and leaving, since I had spotted a guard with his eyes on me… And ended up accidentally going into the women’s bathroom, only realizing it after I came out, so went to wash my hands in the men’s, at least, alongside the employee who had been cleaning the stall next to the one I had been in, who looked and sounded like he had dealt with something awfully gross. Then I went back to that Carrefour, didn’t find anything interesting, returned to grab my stuff from the cabinet at Kaufland and got back, just getting in front of the building at 10:20 PM.

The next day I woke up at 10:10 AM and decided to stay awake, but only got up a bit after 10:30 AM. After seeing a better price for that shampoo bundle on Auchan’s site, and some other things listed as being available at the Vitan one as well, I meant to go there, so I quickly ate something and went out at 11:07 AM, but again saw no free bus, despite waiting until 11:20 AM, and none passed me in either direction as I walked there either. Or at least none passed unless it happened just when I quickly checked the prices in that new Supeco on the way, not finding anything interesting. And then I didn’t find what I was looking for at that Auchan either, that shampoo bundle being nowhere to be found, the red cabbage being a bit more expensive than the site said and the country of origin of the onions being covered with a piece of paper, so I doubted they were from here. But I got a few other things, then took the free bus with the shortest route to the usual Auchan, getting a few things from there as well, including what at the time was the last pack of this cheap kind of yogurt and some sticky bug “traps” which I’ve probably searched for all of last year. That shampoo bundle wasn’t available there either though, the red cabbage and the onions were even more expensive, and there was just one torn box left of a kind of tea which I had decided not to buy from the other location, so I of course didn’t get it from there either.
Taking the free bus again, got off at the park and walked to that Carrefour, though that was actually the second time I stepped off it, the first time being in order to allow others to get off, since it was very crowded, and I also caught my leg against the door after it was closed, so I had to open it again to pull it out and my pants got a bit dirty. But at least I got that shampoo from that Carrefour, though it was a good thing I knew where it was after having seen it the previous day, since there were three rows of regular bottles hiding those bundles. Also got some more bread, for dad as well, and then walked back, still needing onions, since they weren’t Romanian at Carrefour either. But this nearby store said they were, and the price was the same, so I got some from there and was back a few minutes before 4 PM.
Something that worried me that evening was that water wouldn’t stop flowing into the toilet after dad used it. It usually keeps flowing after he goes, but I can usually fix it by hitting it once or twice in a certain way, or by flushing again and then hitting it if he flushes in a particularly odd way, but that time nothing would work at all. I eventually ended up lifting the lid a few times, but couldn’t really do much like that, since it would only lift a little, yet between that and hitting it and flushing a few more times, it was eventually fixed, at least for the time being. Sure felt soiled after that, considering how filthy and most probably full of mold that lid is…

As for Tuesday, I went out again after the run, leaving the building at 5:35 PM, taking the metro to Cora after thinking to check that site as well and happening to see some liquid soap that I guess we used to have in the bathroom years ago, since we’re still using that bottle. With the pump of the one in the kitchen being pretty much broken for a long time, I kept meaning to get another one that also has a pump, not just refills, and if they didn’t change it, that one should work for quite a while, and it’s among the cheapest ones that also has a pump anyway. And it’s a good thing I went just when I did, since I got there at 6:10 PM and found a single bottle left on the shelf. There were others by the same brand, and the bottles seemed identical, but I wanted to get one that’s exactly the same and did so, then grabbed a few other things I was looking for… And saw a better offer for that shampoo. Two medium bottles with a discount instead of a large bottle with a “free” small one, but it worked out to a better price if calculated for the same quantity. But I had already purchased it from Carrefour, so I got back on the metro… And actually did get back to that Carrefour near the park, just to get some more of those cheap carrots, plus one of those croissants for dad, for the total to get to a certain amount. That was also when I got more interested in the jacket and tried it on the first time, but I had also seen some made by a Romanian manufacturer in Cora and meant to have another look at those before deciding. Yet I didn’t do that, rushing to buy it the next evening, and ending up in the current situation, feeling that I was cheated out of 45 RON. Think I saw 8:23 PM when I got back.

And if I started this with how uneasy and anxious I was due to the new connection and not using it when dad’s computer is also on, I unfortunately have to finish it with something added after initially posting this, something which worsened my mental state even more and likely permanently raised my level of anxiety and feeling of insecurity even further. I mean, dad had gone to bed earlier in the evening and I was connected because I knew he was asleep and his computer off, and logging on here and actually working on the site and changing some things is what I most want to avoid doing unless I’m clearly on my own connection, and most preferably also a direct one, though there’s no way to get that again at the moment. However, he woke up without me realizing it, and turned on his computer three minutes before I initially posted this, and I only noticed that he was awake about half an hour later, when I went out of my room to take a shower. And he even said he didn’t know I didn’t want to be connected at the same time he was, after having told him that all along and making sure that my cable was unplugged unless that computer was off! Just kept saying he didn’t know what I meant or that I was referring to him when I said I didn’t want to share the connection, as if there’s anyone else here or I hadn’t very clearly spelled out each time that I’ll only connect when I’m the only one connected. Was shaking for hours after that, and now I’m even worse of a mess and I’ll keep thinking that something’s wrong. Doesn’t matter that the chances of that are extremely small, it’s the simple fact that my computer must only be on its own connection, it’s an anchor I need, if you want to use that term, without requiring any explanations or responding to any arguments, and he just fucked that up at precisely the worst time; he couldn’t have picked a worse moment if he’d have tried!