Cav's Place

One important difference between The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance is that the latter features far more action. Worldbuilding remains a major aspect, however, as does the philosophy and wisdom, the tackling of topics such as customs, religion and prejudice. Some reminders are included, but it largely moves past the basic, obvious elements of the world and towards a scope that’s both wider and deeper, revealing major previously unknown aspects and details that may completely change what was believed to be known. Some revelations are carefully planned and constructed, in stages, others are sudden, shocking, and various hints, both obvious and vague, point to many more secrets left, proving how much more is still to come.
If in The Way of Kings the world sometimes seemed to stop and wait for the main characters, now there are a few moments when the action jumps ahead, leaving the reader to try to catch up. That’s somewhat jarring, but clearly intentional, in large part in order to avoid revealing certain details too soon, which also applies to the quotes at the start of chapters, which get increasingly cryptic with each part. In truth, there’s very little to complain about. The handwriting in most of the illustrations in the mass market paperback edition remains difficult to read, but a few of those are better as well, and it remains unusual for such an edition to have illustrations at all.
In terms of characters, Kaladin no longer overshadows all the others, Shallan rising to match and perhaps even surpass him, revealing much about herself. But this is about far more than any individual character, no matter how important, the story and the world being so gripping, with so many layers and facets, many yet to be revealed and, I’m sure, many more yet to allow to be properly understood. There are humorous moments, thrilling moments, moments with emotional and, if I may use the term, rational impact. Overall, again, a masterpiece. I’d also like to see the battle in a movie, though other moments struck me as “working” better in the book.

Rating: 5/5

When the announcement that SETI@home will enter hibernation and end volunteer processing on March 31 appeared, I assumed that the date wasn’t chosen only because it was the end of a month, but also because it was a Tuesday, which is the weekly maintenance day. For that reason, I also assumed that the last work units will be sent before the servers will be shut down for maintenance, and after they’ll return on-line it’ll all be over and they’ll be configured to only receive results. However, things were a little bit better, since they’ve been skipping the scheduled maintenance towards the end, including on March 31, and what happened on that day was that the last data files were added to the splitter queue, the last new SETI@home work unit actually being sent out the next day, and existing work units will be resent if necessary, until valid results will be received for all of them. What’s more, at that point there were plenty of Astropulse work units still to be created from the same data files, the process going very slowly, apparently due to a lack of space.
It’d have been nice if they’d have allowed that process to complete. In fact, since they got that far, it’d have been even better if they’d have continued until the last data file recorded on March 31 would have gone through the splitter, and some users were hoping that will happen when they saw those March 27 files continue to be added as hours passed on March 31, before the announcement that those were the last ones showed up. However, the servers were then taken off-line, without any announcement, in order for changes to be made, and when they returned on-line the splitter queue was cleared, likely meaning that only SETI@home work units were created out of those last March 27 data files. I’m not sure what it means for that old file that was actually the last one added to the splitter queue, I guess because it was among those they wanted reanalyzed, having been recorded on March 31, 2011, seeing as it had already been through the process and the SETI@home part finished almost as soon as it started, but as far as I’m aware the Astropulse part never got to it to “see” that it had been processed before.

As I already said, the decision to shut down, or at least mothball, the project is awfully disappointing, and that may be putting it mildly, especially considering what seem likely to be the real, or at least main, reasons and “politics” behind it. The fact that it had become far more for many users and a large number of people will therefore truly feel the loss at a time when it’s already particularly difficult to maintain mental health and balance only adds to it, greatly, as does the fact that it popularized distributed computing and likely continued to be the standard bearer for the concept. But even strictly in terms of the science, the original goals, this project was supposed to either find signals sent by intelligent extraterrestrials or prove that there are no detectable radio signals regularly sent our way by them, which obviously wouldn’t have proven that there are no intelligent extraterrestrials out there, but only that this method is not the right one to discover them. In other words, as long as there’s a reason for the radio part of the SETI project to continue, SETI@home should as well. It was never a question of having something to show along the way, but of either detecting and confirming that signal of a probable intelligent origin or scanning the entire sky at all wavelengths likely to be used for this purpose, neither of which having happened.

What’s next for the project, what they’ll do with Nebula or any other plans, I don’t know and at this point can’t say I care. What I know right now is that I have a few dozen work units left and tomorrow I’ll need to look for a project to switch to, most preferably before I’ll run completely out of SETI@home work, so the computer won’t idle if the first or even second one I’ll try won’t be able to provide sufficient work right away or if I’ll decide I can’t commit to it because it uses far too many resources, both scenarios actually being very probable, considering the number of users flocking to other projects, and especially to similar ones, at the moment and the fact that, based on what I saw so far, SETI@home used an extraordinarily low amount of resources compared to the rest. I mean, two SETI@home work units tend to use no more than 75 MB of RAM and write mere kilobytes to disk, while a full queue of 150 work units only takes about 100 MB of space. Admittedly, Astropulse work units have about 8 MB each, so those could add up if there’d be more than a few at a time, but they always were rare, so it didn’t make much of a difference. On the other hand, I’m seeing others say that other projects can easily require around 1 GB of RAM per work unit, and even up to 2 GB, and possibly even more disk space, while also frequently writing large amounts of data to disk, when on my 32-bit system with a total of 4 GB, the listed usable amount being 3.19 GB, I might, barely, be able to spare a total of 0.5 GB at the very most, so 0.25 GB per work unit unless it’s a project that can use both CPU cores for a single one, and would also want to avoid that sort of wear on the HDD, which is over seven years old.
There’s also the fact that one potential option, returning to climateprediction.net, which was the first other project I used when SETI@home couldn’t provide enough work, many years ago, is quite clearly out of the question even without taking the resource use into account, because I noticed recently that I no longer had an account there and the credit for the past work no longer showed up in my BOINC account either, later learning that a few years ago they removed all accounts that hadn’t been active in more than three years! Now I am looking for either a green project, and I have a rather hard time considering it one, or another one having to do with space, so it wouldn’t have been my top choice anyway, plus that a quick look told me that it now easily requires around 0.5 GB of RAM per work unit, and possibly even 1 GB, in which case it’d have been out of the question anyway, but that sort of behavior, wiping away the past work done by somebody without the person requesting it, is something I won’t put up with.

For others in a similar situation, there’s the SETI orphans thread, and also the Which project after? one, but I find the options and discussions there disheartening. Science United, strongly supported by at least one of the SETI@home administrators, apparently the one who pushed to end the project, is clearly out of the question, not allowing the user to select the specific project or projects to attach to. Einstein@home, which seems to be the most popular option among users, is also out of the question due to the resource requirements. Same goes for Rosetta@home, which also seems very popular, though that’d clearly be out of the question anyway, being a medical project when I’m too terrified of serious illnesses to get involved even in such a manner. That also goes for Folding@home, which isn’t even a BOINC project anyway. MilkyWay@home does remain an option, and I have briefly used it before when SETI@home ran out of work, but it all depends on the resources used. Might also have a look at that Africa Rainfall Project on World Community Grid, but even though I have also briefly used it before, I’m uncomfortable with World Community Grid in general, being another layer between BOINC and the actual projects, and that project isn’t actually a green one either, and I highly doubt it’ll have acceptable resource requirements anyway. And then I’m also seeing Asteroids@home, Cosmology@home and Universe@home, which I know nothing about but are at least space projects. But at this point I’m thinking that if MilkyWay@home will require too many resources or fail to provide enough work, which also means enough to store for a number of days in advance, I’ll look through the BOINC projects list again on my own and see what I’ll try next, resource requirements and availability of work being likely to force me to look outside the fields I’d normally care for as well, as much as I’d want to avoid that.

To go chronologically, I again saw no visits in either view on March 27, and the next day I exchanged some messages with Alexandra again, after close to three months. That went badly though, but at least she was finally honest when it comes to what she thinks of me, most of it being accurate. With the exception of one thing, however, I don’t see those things as accusations, and in fact for the most part we’re talking of things I’m accusing others of not doing, or of doing those she “accused” me of not doing. And we did have talks about the general ideas before, but now the stress of the current situation, plus the lack of recent contact, likely got things one step further. Of course, I don’t see any of it as a bad enough issue and I’ll try to get another feel of the situation at some later point, assuming she won’t decide to block me by then, but if things will stay like this, so be it. It’s not like I expect to stay in touch with anyone for any significant length of time without being at each other’s throats, after all.

Monday I ran again, using a route I put together around this area, since all parks have been closed and, while people are still allowed to go out for “individual physical activity”, it must be done “near home”. The first version had two kilometers, so I’d be able to use it and do full laps for both ten and 16, but then, keeping the most distant point where it was, some 600 meters from here, I extended it to two and a half kilometers and actually added the one nicer bit, small as it is, while doing so. The total distance may be slightly longer because of the exact path I have to take and the parked cars I need to go around, there are three spots where I stop and turn around, which obviously messes up any pace, and it’s all on sidewalks and narrow streets and alleys, meaning that I also have to watch for passing cars and possibly step aside to make way. And I’m also running with the mask on, and with the regular shoes and, so far, the old running pants. And this first time I also had a t-shirt I’m wearing inside on, though the second time I did put the running t-shirt on. And I also carried a bag with bags and the other stuff needed, since I went to buy some things right after the run, to get it all done in one day and fill just one of those papers for everything… Not that anybody stopped me to ask for it so far.
Getting back to Monday, with old people supposed to only be allowed outside between 11 AM and 1 PM and stores likely to get more crowded again after 5 PM, I had the alarm wake me up at 11 AM, though I had woken up a few times before that. Then I had the usual stuff, the cereals being another one of those free servings, and a protein bar as something sweet. I think I also had almonds, but I was trying to remember that after getting back and just couldn’t. Went out at 1:10 PM, so when, according to the new regulations, old people should have returned inside, and also just after seeing the new numbers, since those are presented at 1 PM each day. The reported temperature was up to 20°C and it was sunny, but also windy. It got somewhat better later, but there were still some places where the wind was a problem all the way to the end, and on the first lap it kept threatening to blow my cap off.
The time was 51:15.87, and while I am considering fixing a point for an intermediate time on each lap, so far I didn’t, so I just have lap times, which were 12:55.60, 12:38 (12:37.55), 12:54.17 and 12:48.55. That would have been awful through the park, but under those circumstances I’d have taken anything under 55 minutes, so it was actually surprisingly good, especially since it was the first time and I was worried I won’t even remember the route properly. That proved to not be a problem, but I definitely lacked confidence, both in my knowledge of the route and my ability to push with the mask on, feeling that I wasn’t getting enough air and also that what I was breathing out was staying in front of my nose and making it even harder to get oxygen in. In addition, just after starting I had to slow in order to allow a couple of people to come out of this nearby store, then for passing cars on that street that ends with the most distant point on all laps bar the second, and on lap three, on that same street, I actually had to stop for a moment and stand aside to let a car pass. Plus that I obviously have to slow down a little when I cross this other street, and also slowed both times I passed by this nearby store on lap four, thinking to quickly step inside and check the price of onions but deciding against it since there was another customer there both times. But mainly it was the lack of optimization that was the problem, not knowing the exact paths to take, where to use the sidewalk, where to use the street, which parts are more important, where to push more, how to handle those 180° turns… I was more confident on lap four, pushing more towards the end, after realizing I hadn’t been so focused on just remembering the route anymore and didn’t mess anything up.

Walked to this Kaufland and Carrefour after that, obviously needing to go around that park and the area around the stadium now. First checked the prices at Kaufland and got some of those treats for Liza, just so I won’t walk out without any products, though I had to wait for a while for one of the self-checkout machines accepting cash to free up in order to do so. I was also looking for bread, but they didn’t have any more of that one kind that I may buy from there, and then Carrefour didn’t seem to have any of the ones I’d get from there either. There was one I had identified as a potential option of last resort last time, despite being mostly made out of white flour and being too expensive for something like that, but while at least they still had some of that, it was only sliced… And it seems to be their policy to slice everything now, or at least everything not bought very quickly, since as I was looking in that area an employee came and carried away all the bread of another kind, saying that it was the last kind she had to slice, since she had done all the others already. Not that it makes any sense to no longer slice bread if the customer asks, supposedly to reduce the risk of contamination, but have employees take the bread out of the bag, slice it without the customer watching, then put it back…
Either way, just as I was wondering what to do, I noticed that the bio (organic) bread was not sliced, so I grabbed two of those, despite the fact that white flour is second on the list, after rye flour, it even contains sugar, which I only noticed after I got back here, and the price for the same weight is almost double that of that whole wheat one from Auchan that I used to get, and which I’ve mostly given up on as they kept increasing its price. It is very fluffy though, so I thought I’ll just be able to make do with half the amount, in terms of weight, if I’ll be even more careful to slice it very, very thinly, and it worked. So I could then return to Kaufland, get everything I wanted from there and get back here just a little after 5 PM. Ate a banana then, out of those purchased for dad.

Yesterday I again had the alarm wake me up at 11 AM and had the usual stuff, the cereals being another one of those free servings but the sweet thing actually being a return to what really meant the usual stuff for a long time, since I had the last of those wheat things, which had been here for months, with jam on them. This time I’m certain I also had almonds though. But I just wasted time on the toilet, so it was a good thing that didn’t end up being a problem after I went out, at 1:15 PM. Wore the old running pants and regular shoes again, but did take the running t-shirt this time. Also took the jacket, however, tying it around my waist while I ran. Didn’t put the stuff I took with me in it though, most of it still being in the bag I carried in my hands and the papers in a pocket of my pants, which caused me to worry that something may fly out and check many times. The forecast I had seen the day before listed a high around 16°C, but when I asked dad to check when I went out, he said the reported temperature was 13°C at that point, and I also still felt some wind in some places.
I was only aiming to get under 50 minutes again, and after the first lap it didn’t exactly seem likely, but now I’m thinking that I may even have a chance to get under 48 even under these circumstances and on this route. There’s still a long way to go, but now the time was 49:15.24, with lap times of 12:39.55, 12:00 (11:59.73), 12:49.54 and 11:47 (11:46.42). Large differences between laps, and while on the first lap I had to go slowly around a car shortly after starting and then step aside and actually wait for a moment to let another one pass, and was also careful not to get the route wrong, I have a much harder time explaining that lap three time. Yes, I slowed for two cars that were ahead of me at one point, but that was only for a few seconds, so I guess I was just slow for some reason without really realizing it, while on laps two and four I pushed, even if at the start of lap four I almost stopped for a bit, since I couldn’t see the time well while running in such bright light. The mask didn’t bother me that much anymore either; I’m starting to get used to breathing with it on to some extent. My left ankle did start to bother me at the end of lap three, continuing to do so even after the run, until I got back, and halfway through lap four my right knee gave me a few warnings as well, though that was much less noticeable.

After I was done, I put the jacket on and walked to that other Kaufland, so I could also go to that pet shop first, getting the cat food that dad will take to my grandmother’s when he’ll next go there, as that’s now cheaper there, after the price increased quite a lot everywhere else. Then I got the other things on dad’s list from Kaufland, but the canned mushrooms were a problem. No longer being on sale, the listed price was 25% more than last time, which was normal, but the price I saw when I got to the self-checkout was actually even higher. Since a lot of cans were stacked on the central alley and they had a larger price label, I didn’t even check the price before going there, assuming that they’ll at least be careful with those, but noticing that and going back because of it also meant I could grab one last thing from dad’s list which I had forgotten about. Then I looked for an employee for a while, saw no point in trying to approach any of those who were nearby, since they were dealing with completely different products, and eventually went to the information desk, the employee who was there coming with me to check after I told her what was wrong. Told her when we got there that it’s an even bigger problem because it’s something like that, not just a little label on a shelf, and she made a gesture that seemed to indicate that I was quite right, then called someone and told them they had a problem. Stayed around the area for a while longer, and also checked the price again, but of course they fixed it by changing the label, not the price, which means I wouldn’t have bought the cans if they’d have been for me. But they were for dad and he’d have likely complained if I’d have returned without them, so I got them anyway.
A loud alarm started ringing while I was waiting to see what they’ll do, obviously making people look around anxiously, especially considering the circumstances, since there was no announcement until minutes later. Actually, there was no announcement at all, but a message that the person with the master key should go somewhere, which led me to assume that the alarm had something to do with that. It was ringing again as I left though, after using the self-checkout again, and having the coins spill through a tear in the bag I had placed them in. The smaller ones stayed around me and I could get them back right away, but the 0.50 RON one rolled away, a guy picking it up just as I was reaching for it and handing it back after having a good look and asking whether it was mine.
Kept going after that, also walking to that Auchan… And not finding the food for Liza. Actually, quite a few kinds of cat food were missing, just the empty boxes being left on the shelves, and I asked an employee whether they still had any and she said they didn’t, though the site listed it as being in stock there when I checked before leaving and still did so when I could get on-line again last evening. But at least I found a kind of bread I wanted, unsliced, though the fact that the bags were open, the labels not being used to close them, struck me as strange under the current circumstances. It’s something that always makes me uneasy, and if I have a choice I tend to avoid bread that’s left like that where anyone can touch it, so I even sent them a message about it last evening, but now I didn’t have a choice and these days I’m first putting it in the microwave for a couple of minutes anyway, so it should be fine.
There was quite a line when I got to the checkout, and the one I was waiting for closed when the person ahead of me got there, and I was slower to react than the two behind me when she passed on that information, so they moved to another one which had just opened before me, though one turned to look, said that I was ahead of him and allowed me ahead again. I just had that bread anyway, though it took a little longer because Auchan doesn’t have cabinets to put things in and I had to have the guard put my stuff in a sealed bag and then, having so many things in there, the cashier asked me to hand it to her and she checked whether the bag was still sealed. Considering all the stuff that was in it, it’d have been very likely to tear, so I was particularly careful with it, not wanting to find out what’d have happened if it would have torn… I mean, I did have receipts for everything, and the coffee and mushrooms were obviously from Kaufland, being their store brand, but all those little cans of cat food would have likely been suspicious despite matching the receipt from the pet shop, since Auchan does still have those in stock as well.
Either way, the real problem appeared after I used the machine to pay. I meant to put the receipt in the bag with the bread, then remembered I’ll need it to get out… And I’m not sure what I did after that, whether I moved my hand away from the bag but still let go, tried to stuff it in a pocket and either missed or had it fall out due to the empty bags that were in that pocket, or held it in my hand for a moment but then my brain confused what I meant to do with what I actually did and I let go without realizing it. What’s certain is that I got to the gate and had no receipt to scan, so I couldn’t get out. Started checking the bag and pockets, then went back to the machine I had used, also grabbing a 0.50 RON coin I had already seen on the floor but had ignored at first. Looked around that machine, stepped back and went carefully through the bag and all my pockets, even shook the bags the bread came in, but still couldn’t find it. The guard did walk up to me while I did that, though only to have a look and then walk away again. But I did finally manage to find the receipt, after walking back to the gate and looking carefully on the floor, spotting it somewhere on the way. Couldn’t use it to leave though, probably because it was too old by then, their system timing out after mere minutes, but the guard allowed me to follow another customer out without checking anything.

Got back here at 5:05 PM, again without having my papers checked by anyone, though I had admittedly avoided major roads when possible, mostly sticking to alleys and little streets between buildings. Ate another banana after showering, but that one didn’t agree with me so well, so I’ll give up on trying this again now, especially since there’s no need to try to get myself used to them for the race, which was postponed for September. On the other hand, I will need to switch to another security product if I’m to continue trying them, this trial of ESET Antivirus expiring while I was out, though it still seems to work as long as I don’t let it update again. The thing is that, while it remains the one I’m most interested in out of what’s available at the moment and it didn’t cause Vivaldi to stop loading pages and possibly refuse to start again this time around, explorer.exe froze again last evening, again when I had several tabs open in Vivaldi. Far fewer than last time though, and I don’t think memory was the problem, so I’m wondering if this isn’t the new problem the possible incompatibility between these two somehow causes. And now I couldn’t reboot either, since I doubt it’d also continue to work after a reboot when the trial is already over, but I could get all the notification area icons back by manually restarting the programs leaving the missing ones, only also forcing one of them to close before doing so. There might have been a double middle click after that as well, but I’m not exactly certain.

I was saying there will be another post connecting the current crisis to other issues and what should be done about that, but it won’t be this one. On the one hand, that’s because I was getting increasingly frustrated with pretty much all NGOs and activists normally fighting for other causes, because they seemed to suddenly forget about anything else and join everyone else in focusing solely on the crisis caused by this virus, at a time when those other causes need their champions even more, just because the general public, the media and the authorities have forgotten them. However, over the past couple of days quite a number seem to have woken up, some launching a joint campaign for a set of “Principles for a Just Recovery“, which still fail to make proper use of the present opportunity but are at least something, or for example multiple national branches of Greenpeace launching campaigns that to some extent recognize both the opportunities and the threats presented by the current crisis, or even a local council member from here who used to be among the activists who made the obvious comparison, between the number of people harmed and killed by this virus and the response to it and those harmed and killed by air pollution, the lack of action when it comes to that and the fact that the current situation shows the path to take. This is a far cry from what should be done at the moment, when society and its systems are set to be overhauled, when decisions will be made that will set the course for decades to come, and those steering things in the wrong direction are set to come out of this crisis with an even firmer grip on the reins than before, but it does at least signal that the bigger, more important, long-term problems haven’t been forgotten and they still have some champions.
If the above somehow left any room for doubt, I continue to find all but perhaps a few of the most radical organizations and activists completely inadequate for the task at hand, lacking the vision, ambition and courage to demand and do what’s necessary. What I’m saying now is that, after appearing to have gotten much worse for a while, they seem to be returning to their usual level of inadequacy, so they’re no more frustrating than they’ve been all along and that’s not a strong enough motivation to try to write a post on that topic at this particular moment. Some of those faint traces of progress achieved recently are still being wiped away by the response to the current crisis and the reactions I’ve seen so far still don’t tackle some of those issues, such as the skyrocketing use of single-use plastics or reduced recycling, but I’m saving that as the starting point of that other post, whenever I’ll get around to it.

On the other hand, something striking me as a bad decision at the moment is the fact that all of Bucharest’s parks are closed as of yesterday. Some sectors had already closed the smaller parks and playgrounds under their administration, which was fair enough, but the large parks, under the administration of the city, had remained open until then, groups of more than three people not living together and any team sports being forbidden but people still having this possibility to get some fresh air and do individual physical activity, such as running. There are obvious, proven benefits of that, for both physical and mental health, the former including the functioning of the immune system, necessary to fight off the new virus without adding to the burden placed on hospitals. Yes, at least at the moment, people are still allowed to go out for “individual physical activities” around their homes, but sidewalks and alleys between buildings are a poor substitute for large parks, the air quality being likely to be much worse, which is something that becomes even more important now, and other obvious problems being needing to watch for traffic and pick your way through parked cars.
It makes sense to close tiny neighborhood parks, playgrounds, the areas designed for team sports, possibly places such as tennis courts or ping pong tables as well, plus those tables with chess or backgammon boards, those gazebos, the areas with exercise equipment and any other place typically intended for people to gather, or to be touched by many people. There may even be a question about benches, as people not living together should obviously not be allowed to share one and simply sitting there may carry a risk of infection, even more so when people tend to be used to quickly wipe them with their hands before sitting, I guess more as a habit than anything else, which will be hard for everyone to control. But all of that could be done without closing the parks themselves, and the people who continued to gather in groups, which was the reason given for the closure, could have been fined or even arrested by the patrols, without negatively affecting those following the regulations. Seeing as they can have guards at entrances and patrols inside to catch those somehow slipping through, those could also be used as checkpoints, ensuring that people don’t abuse this remaining right to go out for some physical activity, allowing occasional access for this reason, but not every day or every other day, and possibly even controlling the number of people allowed inside so the park won’t get crowded, perhaps also by establishing different hours for different demographic categories. There were plenty of possibilities, but they chose to use this most brutal one…
There’s also the simple fact that large parks are, well, large, so people having a legitimate reason to want to get to a location that’s on the other side of one will now have to go all around instead of through, greatly increasing the distance covered and time spent outside, and possibly causing them to use public transportation, which may well carry the highest risk of infection, instead of walking. And, again, that’s on top of it simply being nicer and at least a little bit healthier to walk through a park than on the street, even one that’s right next to said park.

I found myself thinking of that old woman with the orange hair that I keep seeing sort of jogging, slowly, when I run, the one who seemed to mean to say something to me at one point. She’s obviously struggling, but insists on covering quite a distance and does so often, considering how often I see her there, so the fact that people over 65 are only allowed to go out between 11 AM and 1 PM now was already a huge restriction. I’m also wondering how these measures affect those caring for the gardens around the buildings, as those are usually also old and obviously find motivation and even some part of their reason to live in those activities. Yes, I was calling for those in high risk categories to be isolated for their own protection, but I was also saying that measures should be implemented in order to preserve both physical activity and mental health, and for centers to be opened for those preferring to spend this period in such a place instead of at home, and I’m not seeing anything of the sort.

Improving people’s odds to survive the current crisis, especially when we’re talking of those in high risk categories, is obviously a noble goal, and efforts in that direction, including drastic measures, are necessary. However, the price shouldn’t be preventing people from actually living, and taking away their reasons to even want to. This also applies to many other aspects, but now I’m just sticking to the matter at hand when I say that the long-term impact of the current measures should be taken into account.
Sure, this issue with parks or the questions I had about those tending those gardens are just small parts of this entire picture, but this situation won’t go away in a few weeks, not unless we’ll just accept the fact that a new virus was added to those we normally need to deal with and carry on, preferably with some lessons learned and some reasonable protective measures that likely should become commonplace. I personally believe that we should do that as soon as we’ll get a safe and effective cure that will be readily available to all those who’ll need it, but that won’t happen that soon either, so we’ll all need to live like this for quite some time to come and should ensure that what we do now won’t make people sicker later. Even more so, we need to keep in mind how quickly and easily someone’s mental health and balance can deteriorate when their “anchors”, the activities, things, places, situations, anything they clung on to, are taken away in such a manner, especially when no suitable replacements are offered, and act accordingly.

The situation feels simply unreal. That’s also because a full quarantine was declared here as well, starting yesterday, but mainly because of the world’s response in general, because all of this is being done for this reason when hardly anything seemed possible for the much bigger problems, and because even those actively campaigning so far seem to be forgetting about anything else, nearly everyone seeming so surprised and shocked by something that wasn’t just predictable, but actually predicted, and which is far, far less dangerous than it could have been. And, more importantly, something that’s far, far less dangerous than those other problems that we hardly reacted to before and that we’re at best ignoring pretty much completely now, in some cases even rapidly undoing even the few steps in a right direction which had been taken.

That’s not why I’ve been sleeping so poorly these days though, waking up after a couple of hours and having a hard time getting back to sleep and staying asleep after that, usually just managing a few more brief naps before finally deciding to get up at some point. Was expecting this, but it actually took one more such situation with dad to get to this point, and that was the talk we had Friday evening, after he had left me a note when he left that day, to tell me that if I don’t want those things, referring to what he bought from that other pharmacy at a much higher price after I told him to only get them if he happens to go to a particular one for another reason and they’re at the specific prices I had seen on-line, he’ll throw them away, and that he doesn’t want to see me buying them from there on my own as well, as that’d be a waste.
Well, I did buy them as well, after running that day, but I wanted more than I had asked him to get anyway, either in case he’ll also want to start taking them after all or to have for a longer time for myself, since the price is likely to only keep going up. But the discussion started from the note I left him in reply, in case he’ll get back before me, where I said I was going to assume that he said what he did by mistake, because he couldn’t possibly intend to harm me explicitly, knowing how I react to something like this and forcing me to accept a bad situation to avoid an even worse one he’ll create otherwise, so maybe he purchased those things either for my mother or for himself but then changed his mind and would rather give them to me while also indicating that, if he could pour that amount into the profits of a pharmacy chain that’s swimming in money these days, he obviously has a lot to spare, in which case it shouldn’t be a problem for him to donate a small amount to some of those fighting to support hospitals and obtain the necessary equipment these days.
I still found that note on the table when I got back, as he hadn’t returned yet, but he arrived while I was still putting away the purchases, so I left some things where they were and quickly went to my room, leaving him to read. Then, after changing and showering, I asked him his choice, if we’re to assume he didn’t intend to harm, and he said that the last thing, donating after having spent more, was absurd, there’s no way he’ll do that, and then kept saying that it’s everyone for themselves, he won’t help anyone while those who decide where the budget goes steal instead of directing all of it where it’s actually needed, only the very rich and the large corporations should donate, and again that it’s everyone for themselves and he just does what makes him feel good. I was saying I’m feeling bad for not doing more to help and he of course got back to saying that he learned from me that nothing must be done. That comes from back in the ’90s, when I had found something along those lines said by a psychologist or something of that sort while they were forcing me to keep going to school, and he’s been using it against any ethical or moral stance I take ever since, but when I pointed out how long it’s been and that I got wiser since then and in recent years I’ve been trying to teach him the “I do my part” thing, which he doesn’t seem to learn at all, he readily admitted that he just takes what he likes out of what I say, and said that’s how it should be for everyone, just doing what makes you feel good, no matter what, and also that doing your part and helping when others won’t will harm you, which can’t be accepted.
The only thing I could think of doing under those circumstances, after saying that I’ll consider those things I also purchased as having been purchased out of what I had set aside until I’ll finish those he purchased, was to make up for it myself, deciding to donate 20 out of the 26.70 RON I had left out of what I meant to allow myself to spend until the end of the month, which meant even reducing the amount of bread I’ll eat and making do with what I already had otherwise. He wouldn’t understand that, at first seemed to take it as a joke or idle threat, then seemed genuinely confused when he realized I was serious and I was telling him how bad the whole thing makes me feel, that he made me responsible for it and I doubt I’ll sleep much over the coming days, which definitely proved true. He was just saying that he has no such qualms, and again repeating that it’s everyone for themselves and all that matters is that he did what felt good for him.

Then again, I had slept poorly that morning as well, seeing as the problem already existed, and eventually got up at 11:58 AM, turning off the alarm, which was set to ring at noon. Meant to run a bit earlier, to be able to buy some things after that, getting it all done in a single trip, so I had the usual stuff, with the yogurt being another one of those with 10% fat and the cereals another one of those free servings that came with them, and the sweet thing being honeycomb, then took bags and money with me, plus the mask from that march for clean air, which I had washed the night before, and went out at 2:15 PM. There was some wind and the dark clouds worried me, but the forecast proved accurate and there was no rain, and in fact it ended up being mostly sunny during a good part of my run.
The time was 46:28.80, with sector times of 4:12.12, 4:56.30, 5:42.36, 4:25 (4:24.31), 4:57.12, 5:45.22, 4:17 (4:16.61), 4:54.42, 5:36 (5:35.88) and 1:44.46, making for lap times of 14:50.78, 15:07 (15:06.65) and 14:47 (14:46.91). That means I have a new fastest lap three, which included a sector three that was incredibly fast at that point, and the overall time was the third fastest. I just felt good from the start, so pushed all the way, maybe with the exception of sector two of lap one, the fact that I had such a good time there in spite of that making me realize I could do really well and not sparing myself at all after that. Still, was only really aiming to stay under 47 minutes, and when a guy asked about my time per lap, on sector one of lap three, I said about 15 and a half, since I was only aiming for 15:20 on that lap, after all, and I preferred to round that way.
There were some people, but they mainly just caused me to weave and go the long way around, and there actually was less of that as well, at least some seeming to be more careful, probably trying to avoid contact. There was direct contact, however, on sector three of lap three, when I thought I had room to pass on the inside and found myself hitting a guy’s elbow with my upper arm. I don’t know whether I misjudged the space or he moved his arm towards me just then, unaware that I was coming from behind, but it was quite painful. Otherwise, it was quite windy in some places, and a few gusts made me feel like I was hardly moving. It was better while it was sunny, but dark clouds came again as I started lap three and the wind also changed and got stronger once again at that point, though it fortunately didn’t last long. As for the warnings given by my body, on sector two of lap two the back of my right knee started hurting, soon followed by the back of that hip as well, both getting better after a while but then that knee, as in no longer something behind it, hurt a bit for a while as well. The bag with the stuff I had with me, which I had tried to fold as best as possible to make it easier to hold in hand, bothered me a bit, and after that sector two of lap two I switched hands a few times, also thinking that holding it just in my right hand until then might have had something to do with the issues with my right leg.

Went straight to that pharmacy after the run, putting the mask on as I was waiting in line outside. The line seemed quite long, but after taking some time to listen to others in order to make sure that I was standing in the right one, I took out the piece of paper I had my shopping lists on and the pencil and started writing down the sector times… Only for all of those who were in line at that point to be allowed inside seconds later, after I had only managed to write the first sector’s time. So I went right in and rushed, announcements telling people to spend no more than 15 minutes inside, in order to allow others to come in. I had a pretty good idea where most things were, and I found one of the two things I didn’t know the location of on the way to something else, so I only had to ask an employee about the nose spray. It probably took longer to check the prices, to make sure they were the listed ones, only one price checker seeming to still be available and working as slowly and oddly as the checkers always did at that pharmacy. And then I also spotted the essential oils on the way to the checkout, and that the lemon one of the kind dad had just finished, after apparently starting to use something like that, was actually the cheapest, so I grabbed one of those too, and then waited a while to be able to check its price. But I was still done quickly, and also got the free products I should have gotten, which I later gave to dad to take to my mother, though it was odd when I asked whether the bonus was only for on-line orders and the cashier said it was for any purchase, but asked me whether the site said it was one for each product from that brand or one for two, since she didn’t know… Had to dig through my bag after throwing all the purchases in there for 1 RON more, as I had miscalculated the total despite having checked each price.

Went to the farmers’ market after that, getting green onions and apples, and had a woman ask where I had purchased that mask from, telling her that I already had it, since last year. Then I decided to also have a look through that Supeco, getting cornmeal and heading straight for checkout after a woman told me the price wasn’t the listed one, since the bar code wasn’t the one on the price label. That meant I first wanted to ask what the real price was and, since I didn’t get there from the area where the line had formed and people kept a distance, the line being behind the shelves, I never noticed that said line existed, just stepping in after the person getting checked out then, having the cashier scan the two items and tell me the price, which was in fact the listed one, and only then having the woman whose turn was supposed to be ask out loud why did she bother to stand in line, and what about all those behind her. I turned in surprise, paused for a moment when I saw the line, apologized and didn’t know what to do, but the cashier told me to just go ahead and pay, since she had scanned the items already, so I did that and told the others that I really hadn’t noticed, prompting disbelieving reactions. A man who was farther back also told me to take that mask off, since it’s probably why I can’t see, and I honestly said that was one possible reason as I hurried away.
Did push the mask down on the street, on the way to that mall, putting it back after getting there and going to the toilets to wash my hands and wipe my nose. Then I went to that Carrefour and got some of the things I wanted, and a couple of other things I noticed had good prices, but again didn’t get any bread. Did find some of that kind that wasn’t sliced, but there was no price, and when I scanned it I saw 3.99 RON, when it used to be 2.99 RON, and 2.49 RON about half the time, supposedly on sale, so I said I’ll pass, feeling tricked, not just by such a price increase, but also the fact that they weren’t even listing the price after increasing it. Then, at checkout, I made sure I gave the exact change to get just a 0.10 RON coin back, but the cashier entered that I had given only 0.01 RON more and gave me nothing back, which made me start looking around, which led to spotting a 0.50 RON coin under one of the machines next to the cabinets. So I edged towards it as I arranged my stuff in my bags, grabbing it when I was done… Only to realize after going up the escalators that I was missing the bag with all the stuff from the pharmacy! I had apparently taken the other things out of the cabinet, but not that one, so I rushed back there, breathing a sigh of relief when I saw it still in that cabinet. In the end, was back here at 5:55 PM.

Ran twice last week because the wind alone was enough to prevent me from running this week, and Monday and Tuesday it was cold as well, and at times rained and even snowed a bit. For that reason, and also because the new regulations, forbidding people from being outside unless necessary at night and “recommending” the same thing during the day, came into force Monday evening, at 10 PM, I went out Tuesday, hoping it’ll be quite clear. However, as I was getting ready to leave, at 1:15 PM, the President made a speech, announcing that the “recommendations” will become regulations starting the next day, so it was clear that everybody was going to rush out as well.
I still had a chance to get there before others, but seeing as I wanted to check out both Carrefour and Kaufland, it wasn’t going to matter in the end, so I also took the plastic, on top of the things I drop off at Kaufland, got out a bit after 1:40 PM and also took my card and walked on this side of the road in order to check the machine at the bank. There doesn’t seem to be a way to put money in another account though, so I couldn’t make that donation that way and didn’t actually go in, just losing a little bit of time, and then a little more when I meant to put the money on the card using a machine in this mall that Carrefour’s in, to follow the recommendation to not use cash during this period, even if I’m so against using cards, only to have it say that the operation couldn’t be performed, the tray where I was supposed to put the money not even opening. The thing is that I had forgotten some of the money I wanted to take with me and dad had given me quite a list of things to look for, but I fortunately couldn’t find one kind of cat food and another kind wasn’t cheaper than at a nearby store he was going to go to after I got back anyway, so I ignored that and could make do with what I had.
Did first go to Kaufland, which was quite clear at that time, but only to drop those things off and check prices. Then I went to Carrefour and got a few things, again not getting 0.10 RON as change, though I then saw just such a coin right at my feet as I turned to walk away, so I grabbed that… And when I got back to Kaufland, I saw the front doors closed and a long line of people waiting to get in, having to wait for three or four groups to be allowed inside until my turn came, one of those groups ending with the person who was just ahead of me. So I spent quite some time in that line, and a part of it just in front of the guards, getting increasingly annoyed at the one who seemed to be in charge, who was the only one without a mask and who kept making fun of one who had what looked like a gas mask on, though it just had the filters, not protection for the eyes as well. It also seems that I unintentionally organized things a little, as some bollards are there and it made perfect sense to me that people should wait to go in on one side, which already happened, and those going out should do so on the other, so when I ended up waiting right in front of the door and somebody tried to get out through the line, I just told him that he should exit on the other side of the bollards without even looking, making him look around in confusion since a line of carts blocked that way. But I guess the guards realized that this was how it should work, immediately cleared those carts away and started instructing people to go out on that side.
The fact that they were limiting the number of people coming in meant it was quite clear inside, however, so I had no problems getting everything. Well, everything except onions, which were supposed to be on sale these days but which they were out of. And there was also a single bread left of the one kind I’d get from there, but at least there was that one bread, after I couldn’t find a single one of that kind left at Carrefour, despite the higher price, nor any others that I’d find acceptable. So I have bread for the rest of the week, even if getting that far with what I had before required two “let them eat cake” moments, Saturday and Sunday night, when I replaced bread with what was left of that panettone received back in December and a pretzel, after dad bought two and forgot them in his backpack for a day. But, to return to Kaufland, it was really nice that I was the only one using the self-checkout, since the announcements kept inviting people to use them but said that they were for those with 15 items or less and I just had 13 while everybody was filling carts.
I also got myself a cake from the confectionery that’s there, since dad had told me that my mother wanted some, asked what he should get me as well and I said I didn’t want anything from the one he’ll go to but, if he wants to spend the money anyway, I’ll get myself something out of what he gave me for what he asked me to get. The problem with the cake was that the girl put it in the box upright and it didn’t fit, so she was struggling to close the lid and I didn’t react in time to tell her to tip it over, ending up with a box that didn’t stay closed and a cake I didn’t want to touch and which wouldn’t tip over on its own, so I kept struggling with it and ended up squashing it quite badly before finally giving up and just hoping it’ll stay closed as it was. I kept worrying about it, kept checking that bag, but it was fine in the end, and I was back a bit after 5 PM.

Otherwise, on March 19 I finished ShadowGuard, giving up on trying to get all the kills after it became quite clear that it was impossible and pretty much letting NPCs take care of things in the last two areas, only casting a few spells from a safe distance. On the other hand, Monday I finally started The Way of Kings, so now I’m trying to stick to a schedule in order to finish it in three weeks as well. Should be easy though, seeing as I’ll probably only go out once per week and may not even be allowed to go to the park to run, I’ll need to see about that… And also because dad will be working from home for the next two weeks, which means no chance to make mamaliga or be on-line at night during this time. At least he disconnected his computer this afternoon, so I’m taking the opportunity to post this now as well.