Cav's Place

Hope I’ll make this quick, because everything I had gained by reading more at the end of last week was lost when I didn’t read at all Monday and I still have to get to a certain page today if I’m to finish Saturday, especially since I’m not sure how much or even if I’ll be reading tomorrow. If I won’t, it’ll be quite a push to finish Saturday anyway, and also writing the quick review then would be even less likely, but that’s just why I want to finish Saturday, so I’ll be able to wait one more day and still have it as this week’s second post.

To get right to it, Monday I moved things around and sprayed the rest of my room, accidentally using the new catalogs from two hypermarkets to put on the floor instead of old ones. Had removed old newspapers from the pile in the kitchen for that purpose, but threw them on top of those catalogs, and then I saw them there and, completely forgetting that I hadn’t removed any catalogs from the pile and that dad had put the new ones there, picked them up instead, since they’re better for the purpose. And that was a bit of a nuisance because they don’t put them on-line until the day the offers start while they send the paper ones a few days earlier, so on top of just having something to look through while eating at night or on the toilet, I do use them to plan purchases as well, despite frowning at all the wasted paper.
Either way, I did glance through them as I picked them back up after I was done, before going out, so had an idea of the few things I meant to wait a few more days before getting and one plan would have been to buy the other things I meant to get this week then. But in the end I just checked prices in two hypermarkets, then sort of wandered away, not quite certain what I meant to do next, ending up looking for one branch of the Metropolitan Library and getting myself a pass. Had been sort of considering it for a while and I guess I finally got around to it. Annoying that they ask about education and occupation though, and I did wonder aloud about the relevance, and also not keen on the fact that the passes have a chip, but there shouldn’t be any information on it that I may want to be able to see myself and I won’t have the pass on me unless I intend to use it that day, so I guess it works.
That done, I then checked prices in a nearby supermarket as well, then walked back to one of the hypermarkets to just get a couple of things, leaving anything else for another day. Could have wandered around a while longer, as the smell in my room was still quite strong when I got back and, as I already stated, I didn’t read that day anyway, plus that I didn’t clean the room or move anything back that evening, so I ended up sleeping on a bed that was rather in the middle of the room, with the boxes of books and the bookcase right next to it, but that’s how it worked out that day I guess.

When I woke up on Tuesday, I really didn’t know what I meant to do that day, but eventually ended up going on the Library’s site and reserving Quiet, or the Romanian edition of it, to be exact. Not keen on reading translations, but for something like this I guess it may not be quite so bad, and I didn’t think I’d be purchasing this but was curious about reading it for some time now, even if I’ll probably just get annoyed for various reasons, so I decided to make some use of that pass now that I got it. Not that I knew how the whole thing worked, and it didn’t seem to me that much was happening if you did reserve a book on-line, but the option was there and I used it.
After that, I first went for a run. Or, more exactly, I first went out without my stopwatch, realized it on the way to the park, came back for it, then went for a run, the time being 49:34, with sector times of 4:35, 5:10, 6:06, 4:36, 5:10, 6:01, 4:38, 5:13, 6:12 and 1:53, making for lap times of 15:51, 15:47 and 16:03. Rather poor final sector, lap three wasn’t too good either, but it counts as another regular run in less than 50 minutes, albeit one on a quite clear track, so I could have done better if I’d have meant to push harder. But my right hip was not happy anyway, so it was good enough.
When I checked the Library’s site again when I got back, I saw no change in the book’s status, so I decided to just go and see how things actually work, having quite a long walk after my run, since there was no copy available in the branches that are closer. That walk was made even longer by the fact that I missed a turn required for the planned slightly shorter route on my way there, only getting things right on the way back, but I didn’t get lost and was in no hurry, so it wasn’t much of a problem.
Either way, once I reached the Library, I tried to look for the book myself, but was looking at social sciences instead of psychology, plus that I was looking for a white cover when this edition is, in fact, gray, so I couldn’t find it. Not that I expected to find it, of course, since I had reserved it and assumed it’d be put away somewhere, so it won’t be grabbed by someone else. As a result, I then walked up to one of the people there, handed her my pass and said I reserved a book on the site, expecting her to just pull up the information based on the pass. Instead, however, she asked me what book that was, searched on the computer for quite a while, asked if I looked for it myself, then went somewhere else to search when I said I couldn’t find it, returning to say it’s not in storage and going to the shelves to look there herself… Only for me to spot it almost right away once I saw which shelves she was looking in. Felt rather bad about that, making her wander around when I could have just picked it up myself if I’d have only looked in the right spot from the beginning, and then I could have taken it without interacting with anyone, since it’s all done by having a machine read the chips in the pass and the book and hitting loan or return on the screen, which she also did for me when she saw me just standing there confused. But at least I now know what to do when returning it, and in case I’ll get anything else in the future.
Might have ended up losing it even before getting back though, as I put it in a bag and then left the bag on top of some fruit or vegetables, forgot exactly what, in a nearby store, where I stopped to grab some cheap cucumbers. Couldn’t figure out where the weight was showing up on the cashier’s screen, so kept leaning over to look as I added more and saw absolutely nothing relevant, leaning in even closer and searching every little bit of the screen with increasing confusion as he read the weight to me a few times, until I reached the one I wanted, and then once that was done I just paid and had to get out of there, taking the cucumbers but not the book. Fortunately, realized I was missing it very quickly and ran back, finding the bag exactly where I had left it, a woman perhaps trying to work her way around it to get to the fruit or vegetables it was placed on. So all’s well that ends well, I guess.

As for cleaning, I did start Tuesday evening, but only wiped the bookcase, vacuumed the corner it’s normally in and the area behind the bed that was exposed due to the bed being in the middle of the room, then put the bookcase back and the books back in it, then changed the sheets and moved the bed back as well, leaving the rest for some other time. Which other time was supposed to have been yesterday, but yesterday I didn’t do much of anything, so I only finished cleaning today… And also “managed” to break the handle from another of my desk drawers as I tried to lean against the desk in order to be able to push the boxes back in place just right, to allow my chair to move normally. They’re made of plastic and the one on the bottom drawer broke some time ago, but they’re made of two parts and if just one snaps in one place, they may still be used if you don’t pull too hard, but this one broke in four pieces, so I couldn’t just leave it like that and tried to glue it back together. Seems to work for the moment, but I may need to get new ones eventually, and I already started looking for metal ones.
The thing is that the fact that I left cleaning for today complicates matters a bit, as I perhaps should have used the day to buy some things instead, after deciding against it Monday. Doing it all, including trying to go to that market again as well, for more apples and probably also green onions, and maybe something else as well if I’ll see what I’m looking for and manage to get it, will take quite a long time and Friday evening tends to be crowded anyway. But I’ll see what I’ll do, how late I’ll get back and how much I’ll manage to read. Sure hope it’ll be something, at least, because I’ll barely manage to get as far as I planned for today now, no way to have a buffer as well, and then I’ll probably go out again at least once during the weekend, the destination meaning another particularly long walk and therefore a lot of time spent not reading or writing the quick review. Some may be spent thinking about it though…

Earlier today, Simona Halep played the second Roland Garros final of her career, which was also her second Grand Slam final. She played it against Jelena Ostapenko, ranked 47th in the world, and for a prize that included not only her first Grand Slam title, but also the first position in the WTA rankings. A number of elements had “conspired” to open up this opportunity for her, which was obviously circumstantial but in the end wouldn’t have made that outcome any less impressive, the achievement itself eventually remaining the only thing firmly written in the history of the sport, and in that of Romanian sports results as well.
Well, she lost. Or, most definitely, Ostapenko won, the statistics making that perfectly clear. Ostapenko’s 54 winners against Halep’s mere eight pretty much tell the story of the match, the fact that she also had 54 unforced errors while Halep only had ten not being enough to allow Halep to outlast her the same way she outlasted Karolina Pliskova in the semifinal. The strategy was the same, making a lot of effort to keep returning the balls but playing it safe, playing more not to lose than to win, letting the opponent thoroughly lead the match, dominate, while waiting for mistakes and opportunities. And it may have seemed like a good idea in theory, with the two seeming to have a similar style and Pliskova being ranked third while Ostapenko was, as I already mentioned, 47th. But Ostapenko was simply the better of the two, those nine additional winners and one less unforced error likely making all the difference. Admittedly, Halep also had six less winners and only four less unforced errors compared to that match.
It sure looked different halfway through the second set, or in fact a third of the way through it. After a tight first set which Halep managed to win in the end, she had started the second one in a great manner, leading 3-0 and having a break point three times in the fourth game, yet then she lost that game and Ostapenko turned things around, ending up leading 4-3 before Halep finally won another game, which would be her last during that set. Still, she then managed to recover at the start of the third set, leading 3-1 and serving, yet everything crashed at that point, or more exactly everything fit into place for Ostapenko, who won the next five games in a row, breaking Simona’s serve three times in the process.

Though she had to defeat Elina Svitolina, ranked sixth, in order to reach the semifinal and then Pliskova, ranked third, to reach the final, quite a number of things had fit just right for Simona Halep this time around, providing this quite unexpected and, I say again, definitely circumstantial opportunity to leap to the top of the rankings on top of winning her first Grand Slam title. It’s hard to believe a similar opportunity will come her way again, and it’s hard to believe another major tournament will be better suited for her to take advantage of any which may in fact arise. This, of course, doesn’t mean she couldn’t climb to the top the hard way at some point, and it’ll be even more of an achievement if she does so, but this truly was an extraordinary opportunity and it was lost, and this will definitely hurt. Remains to be seen in which way she’ll be affected by it and how she’ll respond, once it truly sinks in.

I was exhausted until a little while ago, thinking I won’t even be able to stay awake enough to watch the last set of the Murray – Wawrinka match, but then I did manage that and then went to help my mother with something, after which I found myself quite awake. Will crash again at some other time, of course, since I slept little all week and also pushed hard when I ran Monday and walked around a fair bit Tuesday, when I also “managed” to lose one of the two plastic bags I had been using for years, taking both out and unexpectedly managing to fit everything into one, then I guess forgetting to pick the other back up and only realizing it when I was already outside. It was quite worse for wear, torn in places, and I had been considering dumping it along with the recyclable plastic soon enough, but I guess things worked out differently.
Either way, at the moment it seems to work, I’m still awake enough, so here I am, after wasting some more time, trying to write this. Writing it today was the plan all along, but I didn’t think I’d manage, first because I meant to move things around and spray the rest of my room and then clean and move things back after wandering around outside for a while, and then, as I said, because I was too exhausted, meant to nap and then wanted to read later in the evening. But the rain, which even when I went to bed was supposed to end around noon and didn’t, meant I didn’t go out or spray, and feeling awake again means I can think well enough to post something here now and see about reading once I’m done.

Since I mentioned reading, yes, Monday I finally started The Hero of Ages and so far I’m just squeezing in enough late in the evening to be just on pace to finish in two weeks, though that’s definitely not the book’s fault. Wanted to sit and read more yesterday and didn’t, then thought I’d get at least a little more in today when it became clear I won’t be moving things and spraying and cleaning and going out, but now it looks like simply staying on that pace will be good enough. And since I’ll definitely need to somehow catch up on sleep soon enough and I’m also considering doing tomorrow what I meant to do today if the weather will allow it, it doesn’t look like things will be any different over the weekend.

On the other hand, since I mentioned purchasing yogurt “strategically” in order to participate in that brand’s contest, I should also mention that my strategy once again worked. Compared to the other brand’s contest, which I earned a fair bit in, I had to purchase each yogurt separately to get more receipts, which also led to me wandering around more than I would have done otherwise even though I could chain things together quite nicely, and also obviously ended up with one entry for three days of use instead of one per day, or two per day if I was also buying for dad back then, since I still bought the large ones now, plus that I lost even one of those entries due to that time when I had to run after being forced to interact and forgot the receipt. And on top of the far fewer entries, the chances were also halved because the number of daily prizes was halved. And I also wasted two entries because in this contest you’re notified of winning through an SMS sent later instead of a message displayed immediately, so I entered what I had and then learned the winning receipt was the second out of four.
But it was still an easy win, and this time it’s 150 RON. However, it’s in the form of a voucher which can only be used at the largest on-line store, and not for anything from their supermarket chain partner or for insurance. So not quite sure what to do with it at the moment, especially since this store is usually a fair bit more expensive than others, as otherwise I do have a list of things I want to get this year. But let me actually get the code first, since this morning I just got the call and sent the picture of the receipt as required, but didn’t get a reply yet and doubt I will over the weekend. And yes, waiting for that call was the reason why I slept poorly and little today, being worried I’ll miss it after missing the first one, yesterday, as after receiving the SMS yesterday morning and then not getting back to sleep in order to wait for the call, it came some five hours later, just when I had finally decided to go to the kitchen for a bit and not hearing my phone from there. So I guess it was the reason I slept poorly yesterday as well…

Either way, I’ll end this here, but not before also mentioning this week’s run, which I stated earlier was Monday. Being a free day here, there were plenty of people in the park, so I really had to pick my way through and push whenever I had the chance, which led to my right hip complaining a fair bit after that, but I managed to stay under 50 minutes again, which is quite an achievement under those circumstances. The time was 49:50, with sector times of 4:41, 5:19, 6:11, 4:40, 5:10, 6:07, 4:36, 5:15, 6:09 and 1:42, making for lap times of 16:11, 15:57 and 16:00.
At first I was thinking I was going to go for 16:20 laps, for 51 minutes, but getting that time on sector two of lap two without feeling that I had pushed quite so hard made me change the goal and I really gave it everything from then on, being worried I’ll fall just short until the very last moment… When I also noticed I managed a new record on that final sector, despite the fact that I even ran into a group of people just as I was going up the stairs and had to move from one side to the other while climbing and squeeze my way through. No idea how I managed that time under those circumstances.

I’ll start this by pointing out a new channel on YouTube called Metal for Your Soul, which already has quite a number of full metal albums from lesser known bands even though the first ones were only uploaded on April 1. Then again, I’m somewhat surprised it’s still there even now, though I guess the low number of views and the fact that the bands are lesser known explains it and may help it avoid removal for quite a while yet. Don’t be surprised if sooner or later the link will end up pointing to a channel that no longer exists though.

Since I mentioned that channel, the first band I’ll list here is Feridea, which is an older find which doesn’t even have new material since 2015, but which I was reminded of after spotting their two EPs there. There’s barely enough material for one full album if you put them together and they changed the vocalist between the two, but it’s good stuff, perhaps on Into a Dawn in particular, so I’d recommend at least listening to all four songs on that one, which you can find on their YouTube channel. The songs from Reborn in Time aren’t there, but they are on their SoundCloud page. Still, if I’m to stick to the usual pattern of picking two songs per band, I’ll go with Of Magic and Music and… Let’s say Song of a Longing Heart?

The second band I’ll point out today, Vandroya, is both an old and a new find. How does that work? Well, I’m sure I first stumbled into them years ago and Why Should We Say Goodbye? is actually I song I occasionally looked up to listen to again, usually getting pretty stuck on it once again when I did, but when I wanted to check whether their entry on my list also had the proper links after they started being shared again recently due to the launch of Beyond the Human Mind, I noticed that I didn’t have an entry for them at all, so I must have simply forgotten to add them there the first time around. Either way, I didn’t listen to all the songs on this second album yet, but let’s go with You’ll Know My Name out of what I could find. Rather too much focus on the guitars and those solos still bother me, that song actually being particularly plagued by this, but some enjoy this and she sure has a great, powerful voice.

An actual new find is Last Performance, who just released their first album. That sure is an odd choice for a name, but good voice, good sound, so I sure hope they’re not referring to themselves with it. One problem is that they don’t seem keen on posting or sharing much, be it information or songs, even the fact that at least most of the album is on Bandcamp not meaning much when they severely restrict the number of times you can listen to the songs. That sure is an infuriating feature of Bandcamp, by the way, and I’m not going to pick what to share from there when I’m hit with it. As such, I’m limited to what I can find on YouTube, which at the moment is Under Cover of Darkness and End of Pretense. No complaints, however, since they’re definitely good enough for the two picks.

AfterTime is a band I know I wanted to add before, but can’t remember whether that means I first stumbled into them last year, before writing the previous post in this series, or one of the times when I previously thought about writing this post this year was shortly after discovering them and I clearly had them in mind while trying to decide what to include in it. Either way, you can choose between YouTube and Bandcamp to listen to their songs, and I’ll go with All the Ruins Remain and World We’ve Lost as my two picks. Was more impressed with them at first, now I’m less convinced by her voice and not so keen on the sound of some of their other songs, but it remains a good effort and a good direction, and they seem to be improving, at least in my opinion.

As for Walk in Darkness, it was a rather random pick, but I do believe it is also a new enough find. They released their first album earlier this year and you can listen to all of it on Bandcamp, but I guess I’ll go with Carthage and Alexandria as my picks, the latter featuring the voice of Magdalena Lee, whose Tears of Magdalena I mentioned, albeit grudgingly, way back in the third “New Finds” post. Either way, being a rather random pick, it’s not something that exactly impressed or stuck in my mind, but it can be interesting enough, depending on taste.

And that’s about it for now. First post in this series this year, including the regular five bands, so no chance of getting to that target of 15 in only two posts. Whether 2017 will be the first year during which I’ll manage to post three remains to be seen, but there’s a lot of time left, so there’s reason to hope. And considering the number of bands I know of, a fair part of them at least good, some even outstanding, I really should be trying more.

I sure am leaving this late, writing this week’s first post Saturday evening, and after having some small issues with my Internet access last night that make me worry I may not be able to post this today and something else, which I hope will be this year’s first “New Finds” post, tomorrow. But I hope I’ll be able to post, and for that I must first write, which is even somewhat more of a problem than it usually is because this week is something of a blur. On the other hand, it should at least make for a shorter post, or so I hope.

This week’s run was Monday, and even remembering that would have been somewhat difficult if I wouldn’t have saved the time that evening, to have the date that page was last modified to check. Either way, the time was 49:10, with sector times of 4:36, 5:14, 5:53, 4:34, 5:08, 6:05, 4:36, 5:12, 6:06 and 1:46, making for lap times of 15:43, 15:47 and 15:54. So I managed what I went out to do, which was a regular time under 50 minutes, without trying for a new record. I did sort of consider trying to get under 49 minutes too, but the times never added up, even the first lap being a bit too slow for that target, so I may have needed just 11 seconds, but I didn’t have them in me; it simply never really seemed possible.

Wednesday I sprayed the mold which had again appeared in this corner of my room where the computer is. Had appeared quite some time ago and was getting quite bad, but I kept waiting before even asking dad to help me move the desk and also those boxes of books still in my room and when I did, last week, he said we’ll have to leave it for this week, and then Wednesday was the day when he could. Will need to do the rest of the room later though, unless I’ll actually do all of it again in case I didn’t spray well enough above the part of the window that’s behind the desk now, because I thought we had more spray left when in fact it was barely enough to allow me to cover this area, and do even that perhaps a bit less thoroughly than I’d have liked.
Either way, after doing what I could I went out, bought a few things, got quite lost while trying to again take the route I took when I accidentally discovered that farmers’ market, ended up quite some way away, tried to use little streets to find it again faster but somehow ended up back where I had been, then went the long way around in order to at least stick to a route I knew, since anything else obviously wasn’t working. That obviously made the whole thing last longer than intended, so I got back later than I meant to and had less time left for the other things I had planned for that day, before putting the desk and the computer back.

Those other things were cleaning the computer a little and looking inside to see whether I had actually connected the DVD drive again after I got the computer back, put together wrong and with the SATA cable which had been used for the DVD drive missing, since the system was never able to detect it again after that, and then finally opening my mouse to see what I could do about the double clicking. However, with the time lost I had given up on the idea of cleaning the computer before starting anything, and then, considering how things went with the mouse, also gave up on the idea of opening it again to have another look, since a first quick look, taken after taking it out of the desk, revealed that everything seemed connected properly… Yet I guess something wasn’t, because even though all I did was push the connectors a little more, not taking any out and putting it back in again and not feeling any actually move farther in under my fingers, after turning the computer back on the system could once again see the DVD drive, which, as I already mentioned, hadn’t happened in eight months.
But the bad news has to do with the mouse, where I was screwed by a screw. I was so worried I’ll open it up, take apart what I have to and break something inside or simply be unable to put it back together properly, but thinking I’ll at least learn what to do next time and perhaps still have the option to have someone replace the broken part, even if at quite some cost. However, what happened was that I was simply unable to open it, one of the screws refusing to move, no matter what I tried, and no matter what dad tried either, after I asked him to help. Worse, after saying the only option was to force it open in that spot and then see about putting it back together in some other way, he started working on it with a small knife and dug a fair amount around that screw even though I had just suggested trying to make a deep cut on the head of the screw in order for a larger simple screwdriver to fit and give us another chance. So, instead of trying that, before giving up he left me with a rough hole in the bottom of the mouse, the edges jutting out and even going a little past the area covered by the skates, so that part of the skates won’t stick back on properly anymore and the mouse sits unevenly on the pad and scratches it, making me uneasy about even moving it much anymore.
Still, while that damage was for nothing, as he was unable to break through, the screw in question is at the back, so I managed to pull the front part apart enough to slip through a matchstick with the end wrapped in a little bit of cotton on which I had dripped a few drops of cooking oil, since that was what I had on hand. Thought it was worth a try, since simply oiling the top of the microswitch is one of the possible solutions offered to this problem, though not what seems to be the proper one or one that fixes the problem for a long time, if it does at all. Yet for the moment it actually seems to have fixed it, so at least the left click seems normal since then, though it does feel different, somewhat sticky, while on the other hand the wheel now feels somewhat loose. Could do nothing about the side button that also sometimes double clicks though, and didn’t oil the right one despite being able to reach it and having noticed a few double clicks from that one as well.
So, in the end, I have the DVD drive back even though I have no idea how, but that was the issue I was least worried about, as proven by the fact that I could just stay without it for eight full months and it didn’t actually bother me. On the other hand, since I was in too bad a state by the time I gave up on the mouse, I didn’t clean the computer, and that will show in terms of the temperatures now that summer is coming. As for the main goal, fixing the mouse, I guess I can say the main problem, the increasingly frequent double left clicks, seems fixed for the moment, but I couldn’t open it and I definitely won’t be able to do so normally in the future, the bottom is damaged in a way that makes it quite a pain to use anymore, and I’m not sure what the fact that the wheel feels somewhat loose may mean.
I guess I’ll need to try to carefully file away the rough edges of that hole, as dad offered to do it or even to take it to those who handle repairs where he works, see if they can do anything about it, but I doubt I’ll be letting him touch it again. Then maybe I’ll try to fill that hole with something as well, and see how well the skate will stick back on in that place under those circumstances and how well it’ll slide after that, when even the raised edge of the area the skate goes in is now broken in a spot. But I really don’t dare to try that, or anything for that matter, right now…

After all of that and going to bed even somewhat later than normal, I woke up early Thursday. The reason I went to bed even later was that I looked through those books, which had temporarily been moved to the other bedroom, in order to select some, and the reason for that, as well as for waking up early, was that one of the large events gathering donations for poor people that are organized by someone every so often was taking place that day. Considering the date, this one was exclusively for children, but it still seemed like a good moment to donate some of those books which had been left here in my room for so long, and despite initially only meaning to select a few, I ended up taking no less than 51 volumes. Should have been 53, since I had two old ones in Romanian in my bookcase that I also meant to give away, but despite having moved them in front earlier, I hadn’t taken them out to put them next to the others Wednesday night and completely forgot about them Thursday morning.
Either way, after figuring out a good way to stuff them in one larger box and one smaller one, it was clear that I had to give up on my plans to just have one small box to carry and walk there, so I had to take the metro. However, first dad said he was also leaving soon and driving to a place that was quite close to the one I had to get to, so he could drive me there if I’ll wait a little longer, and then, after I asked why was he driving if he was going to a place that’s easy to reach by metro, he said he hadn’t even considered it and we ended up going together by metro, and to a stop that was closer to where I had to go, as he insisted that was the better option and will go with me all the way when I said I couldn’t quite figure out how to get from it to where I had to go and didn’t want to risk getting lost while carrying so much. And I didn’t carry anything, as he insisted on carrying the boxes himself all the way to the metro, and to a stop that’s not the nearest one since he didn’t want to have to switch trains, and then also from the stop we got off at to the park where the donations were to be dropped off, only leaving the boxes for me and going on his way when we were just meters away.
Of course, one may wonder why I went in that case, only to use up a trip on a metro card. Was wondering that myself when I got there, and even more so after the fact, when it was clear that I went only to mess things up. I’m sure he’d have asked what to do, telling me later that he assumed there would be people giving directions and likely also some way to register donations, so he’d have at least placed the books in the proper area. I, on the other hand, obviously avoided any interaction, looked around for a little while and eventually dropped the boxes in the area where toys seemed to be and wandered away. Walked back after that, of course, also picking up a couple more things on the way.
The issue is that a very small team of volunteers is handling all of this and they really need all the help they can get, so they ask for things to be brought only at the time and place specified, labeled properly and placed in the right areas, and I obviously didn’t do that last part at least. I mean, the event called for clothes, nonperishable food, toys, school supplies and hygiene products and I had found a comment stating that they’ll accept books as well, so meant to place them next to the school supplies, but spotted nothing of the sort, only seeing a large area for clothes and this other large one for toys, then one for nonperishable food and a spot next to it with some other odds and ends, mainly toilet paper and what seemed to be a few mattresses and pillows. Noticed after the fact, in pictures, that what each area was for had been written with chalk on the pavement, but while there I never even considered looking down for that information, instead checking the signs they had posted in the area for specific information and finding none.

After all of that, woke up early Friday as well, despite being exhausted already. A neighbor was drilling, so I couldn’t have slept longer anyway, but didn’t mean to either, meaning to go out again and then also eat before my mother would come back that evening. So I did that, also getting back to that farmers’ market, without getting lost this time, to buy more apples from the same person, my assumption that I should find her there again on a Friday being proven correct. However, I noticed that she was in the area designated for firms, not individual producers, and she definitely was in the same spot as the week before, so now I have some questions. Still, being registered as a firm doesn’t mean it can’t still be what I mean to support, and having all those cheaper apples, smaller, wrinkled, bruised, even in good part rotten for the cheapest ones, still makes her believable as a small producer, or a representative of a small group of farmers, and helps reduce food waste, as people can purchase products that stores would reject.
Would have liked to shower after coming back and eating, but there was no hot water again. The announcement I found on the site when I checked it after noticing there was none in the morning was that there was a malfunction in the entire area and it should be fixed by 4 PM, yet when I got back I saw that estimate changed to 9 AM today. So I just gave up on that plan and crashed in bed in the evening, getting one of those naps that result from my body pretty much shutting down out of exhaustion, waking up again all too soon to go to the toilet and then having all senses on high alert, so being unable to get back to sleep due to feeling uncomfortable in bed, paying attention to every sound and quickly feeling the need to go to the toilet again, but not quite being able to get up either. As a result, I was feeling even more rotten and disheartened by the time I finally crawled out of bed.

In the end, with my mother away between last Tuesday evening and this Friday evening, I had a fair amount of time alone when dad was out as well but have very little to show for it. I cooked something once, plus just something to eat that day then and one other time, but meant to do more and there was one particular thing I wanted to try to make and didn’t. Other than that and making the salad and eating more during the day, didn’t really do anything I wouldn’t have done with them here in all this time. Didn’t even vacuum in my room, other than just in the area where I was about to spray before doing so on Wednesday, so the dust won’t get wet and become stuck on the floor.
Of course, a good part of the reason for that was simply that I don’t feel like doing anything and see no reason or purpose in it, but another significant part was the fact that I wasn’t really alone, never for even one full day and usually didn’t even have a schedule I could rely on, dad sometimes not offering any and other times leaving and getting back at times that differed significantly from those he had mentioned or left written. So I felt watched, or that I could be watched, even though I know he doesn’t usually even notice what is specifically pointed out to him. I’m too aware of how unreasonably long it takes me to do anything, even how obsessed I am with some things, and feel bad enough about my abilities even without someone else possibly being in a position to notice if I try something and fail before I can at least clean up and maybe get rid of other traces as well. And thinking about it just makes everything take even longer, and it makes me even more obsessed with what little things I feel I can control better, and maybe even more likely to fail, or at least even more worried about it and feeling even worse if it does happen. It’s one reason why I feel even more rotten while eating at night for so long now as well, since he works late from home, sometimes going to bed at almost the same time I do.

So much for this post being shorter. I mean, it actually is significantly shorter than the previous one, but 3100 words instead of 4000 wasn’t what I had in mind when I started it. And even so I guess I missed and forgot some things. But just writing here for myself, if even that, to still post things and maybe also to have details available in case I’ll want to look something up later. So I guess this will have to do, and either way keeping the window open so long seemed to start triggering those CPU warnings after a while, as I got three despite minimizing it while trying to find my words after it started happening. And then, after posting, I noticed I had mmc.exe showing up as still running, I guess after it failed to shut down properly after I opened Event Viewer to see that there was nothing unusual about one of the warnings. Hope nothing messed up due to forcing it to close.