Cav's Place

Picking up from where the previous post left off, I’ll start this by saying that we got moving almost right after the start was given, very much unlike last year, and I crossed the start line after what the timing chip reported as 1:39.90. My reaction times and estimate of exactly when the chip would register crossing the line were also very good, as the intermediate time set on my stopwatch was 1:40.03, so I worked with a start time of 1:40 in order to set my targets. Either way, with a start time over four minutes better than last year’s, an official time under two hours definitely was possible, so despite my earlier poor mood and loss of motivation, I suddenly became quite determined to achieve it.
The targets I used were those I had worked out for last year’s ideal time, only adding up to 1:55:50 instead of 1:56 because the route no longer climbed that steep slope on Victoriei and therefore there was no reason to add ten seconds to kilometer 16 anymore. So I was aiming for six minutes for the first kilometer, then speed up by ten seconds per kilometer to reach 5:20 for the fifth, then maintain the pace until and including the 17th, then slow down by ten seconds per kilometer to get back to six minutes for the 21st, then add 30 seconds for the final meters. And I also meant to stick to my strategy better, not tiring myself early on by trying too hard to make my way past others even if that meant losing time behind them, making use of those I was running behind to break the air and make it just a little bit easier for me, and sticking as much as possible to the parts of the road I had decided were the better option while walking the route.

Due to the crowd, the first kilometer was slightly slower than intended, and I seem to remember a time of 6:03, though I’m not exactly sure of that, all I can say for sure being that it was under 6:10. Then at some point I even followed others who were moving to the emergency lane, outside the part of the road meant for runners, searching for room to advance, but that lane quickly filled as well, so it didn’t help much. It was briefly better after the route turned left at Unirii, but it then turned and narrowed again very quickly, the sidewalk taking the place of the emergency lane as the area used by those searching for room to advance, again with little success. Fortunately, I had returned to the road before the first intermediate timing point, though others were surprised by it and had to turn back and step on the sensors.
I know I checked the time at kilometers two and three, but don’t remember what it was at all anymore. I also know that I then missed the markers for kilometers four and five, so only checked again after six, again not remembering what I saw then. Why I missed the one at four kilometers is quite clear, as I still hadn’t managed to find a way past the 2:00 pacemakers before reaching the refreshment point marked as being at 2.3 kilometers and then dropped farther behind them due to slowing down to drink, so I guess I could still pay enough attention to spot the next one but as time passed and I was still behind I was more and more focused on simply finding my way through, which I clearly remember only happening just as the route turned on United Nations Boulevard. But that happened at about 4.7 kilometers or so, making the reason for missing the marker at five kilometers less obvious, though I guess I may have still been too busy searching for ways through the other people ahead and occasionally turning to check that those pacemakers weren’t catching up.

The next few kilometers were uneventful, but increasingly concerning, as my pace wasn’t quite on target and I wasn’t in the early part of the race anymore. Do remember recovering something, with I believe 5:14 on the seventh or eighth kilometer, but that was an exception, I believe one of the only two, otherwise the entire part which I should have covered at a pace of 5:20 per kilometer including a few covered in 5:19 and the rest in more than the target time.
At ten kilometers it was already an obvious problem, being around or I think already over 30 seconds behind the target time, and when the route turned 180°, around or I think right after 11 kilometers, I decided it wasn’t working and I needed to push harder, even if it might cause me to tire before the end, this at least leading to still being less than 40 seconds behind the target time at 13 kilometers, possibly after covering the 12th kilometer in 5:15 yet then following it with 5:25 for the 13th, as I seem to remember gaining and then losing five seconds in that area. Nevertheless, that provided some amount of relief, as even losing ten seconds per kilometer from then on would have still allowed for an official time under two hours.
Also decided around that time that I needed a much better strategy for the refreshment points, as there were a high number of them and I meant to make use of them, but doing so caused me to lose a significant amount of time, 20 or even up to 30 seconds each time, which I then couldn’t recover properly, and either way trying to do so would have caused me to tire too soon. So I believe I skipped the next one, but then things did indeed improve, even though I kept grabbing both water and juice when I could, as well as fruit when I spotted it in time. Definitely learned my lesson from last year and didn’t grab another bottle though.

The rest of the way was pretty much focused on my pace, searching for the most efficient way past others, and optimizing my use of the refreshment points, to the extent that I can’t even say I exactly noticed the amount of support present along the route, any interesting signs or much about other competitors that I didn’t have a practical reason to pay attention to at that moment. And I always had two targets in mind, one being the ideal time in which I should have reached the next marker and another being the time I should reach it in to maintain the target pace for that particular kilometer.
Since I usually just kept the seconds in mind, that makes it harder to remember times, and the fact that something is obviously wrong with the official intermediate times, probably having to do with the listed distance being wrong, certainly doesn’t help. Still, I know for sure that the worst position I was in was being 55 seconds behind the target time, and I thought that was at 17 kilometers, with a chance of it having been at 16. When I later tried to work it out more accurately, however, it became more likely that it was at 18, though there is that matter of possibly mixing an intermediate time with the target for the next to consider. I’m also pretty sure I had just lost one second over that kilometer and then gained just that one second back over the next.

The one intermediate time I’m absolutely sure of is the one for 20 kilometers, as I know I reached that point in 1:51:27, so only 27 seconds behind the target, having obviously slowed less than the plan allowed for towards the end. In fact, I was feeling really well at that point and pushing even harder, knowing I could keep it up all the way to the finish line, which I definitely did. Since it was obvious that it’ll only cause me to lose time with no real benefits for later, also skipped the last refreshment point, just hundreds of meters before the end, as it was in fact a matter of passing by the one meant for five kilometers again and it still being active, and pretty much sprinted to the line, wondering why had my pace been so conservative before.
Didn’t manage to spot the marker for 21 kilometers, but I know I covered the nearly 1.1 kilometers to the finish in a mere 5:09. Since the target for the 21st kilometer was six minutes and then I had calculated 30 seconds more for those final meters, it means I recovered 1:21 right there at the end, actually ending up nearly a minute ahead of the target time after having been behind it all the way until then. As such, I managed a real time that was even under 1:55, more specifically being 1:54:56.70, while the official time was 1:56:36.60. On the results page they once again rounded the real time up, but I’ll do what I do for my regular runs as well and round down to 1:54:56.

Once past the finish line, I stopped for a moment to arrange the little plastic things holding the timing chip in a way that’d make it easier for the person cutting them away to do so without risking to also cut my shoelaces or even my shoe, then once that was done I advanced to receive my finisher medal, and then moved on to the area offering refreshments to the finishers. Grabbed and drank a large cup of water, took a half-liter bottle of water and one of juice, also a piece of orange which I then stepped away from the line to struggle to eat, then also had a cup of juice from a stall on the other side of that area, which I wouldn’t have noticed without stepping away from the line, and finally returned to the fruit area to grab two pieces of apple. Took both bottles back with me unopened, leaving the water in the kitchen for my parents. The bottle of juice is still here in my room, unopened even now.
Either way, I then got my bag back, checked that everything was still in it and tried to work up the courage to ask someone to take a picture of me, which I eventually managed after standing around two women who were taking pictures of themselves and each other until they finished and one of them walked away, at which point I asked the other. Also asked her to take two or three, in case the camera will corrupt any, and she did, but after taking the first two, including the one I ended up posting, she turned it vertically to take some like that as well, at which point the camera turned itself off and she left when she handed it back to me. That may have been because I had washed my hands before putting the batteries in, so my hands were wet then, but the pictures were saved and I could turn it back on, so I then asked the guy in the sleeveless shirt that you can just notice in the background of that picture, who had a press badge and a serious camera of his own, to take a couple more. He had the same problem though, the camera turning off after two, which he took without me telling him to take more, and he wanted to make sure they had been taken, saying he hadn’t felt the camera actually do anything, but I showed him that they had actually been taken and thanked him.
That done, I put on my jacket, since it looked like it was going to start raining, and changed my shoes, not wanting to use the running ones on the way back as well. And I went into the tent where men were supposed to change in order to do this, also taking my time trying to arrange things in my bag and moving some things from it to my pockets while there, so it took me a while even though I didn’t change my clothes, despite the fact that both my t-shirt and my pants were stained with juice, and possibly also with what had dripped from the orange pieces I had eaten. By the time I was done, I noticed a couple of men who certainly seemed to be Africans on my left, assuming they were some of the elite runners who had taken part, and I was considering trying to work up the courage to ask who had won, wondering whether English would have worked, but when I got up and turned around I saw a few more sitting on the other side of the tent, one of them holding a trophy, so I assumed that answered my question and just walked out.

Yes, not wanting to use my running shoes on the way back means I walked back, taking the same detour I had taken after picking up my race kit, so walking seven kilometers right after running a half marathon, and doing so while carrying that bag as well. That’s not that much more than last year though, since then I walked less than one kilometer to Unirii metro station, came out at Titan, walked to one confectionery, decided against getting anything from there, went to the other to get the two cakes, one of which I left for my mother, then just decided to walk to Dristor metro station, this entire route from Titan to Dristor apparently having some three kilometers, coming out at Iancului and having just under one kilometer to walk to the place I got pizza from and back, then again just under one kilometer left from my metro stop, the total adding up to over five and a half kilometers, maybe 5.7 or so. Or at least that’s how I remember it.
Getting back to the route I took now, it took me past the place I considered getting something sweet from the most before things got nasty, after remembering that the confectionery I initially had in mind had changed their hours and were no longer open on Sunday, but I had already given up on that thought, instead asking my mother Friday evening to make some more pancakes so I won’t spend money on anything else and her making quite a pile. So I just went that way because it was clear in my mind and also took me to the place I was going to get pizza from, which is the same one I bought the one I ate last year from as well.
Interestingly, despite the clouds gathered when I left and the fact that the forecast also mentioned rain starting in the early afternoon, there was none until some time after I got back, the sky actually clearing by the time my pizza was ready, so after keeping my jacket on even while I waited inside, I then took it off and stuffed it back in my bag when I got back outside. Still put the pizza box in a plastic bag I also had with me, but only because I thought it might help keep it just a little warmer than if I’d simply carry it in the open. And I guess also because I didn’t want the box to be visible to everyone, even if what I was carrying was obvious due to the shape and the way in which I was carrying it.

After getting back, I changed and took the pizza, along with four pancakes in which I put honey, plum jam, quince jam, and cherry and quince jam, since there was just a tiny bit of cherry jam left in a jar and I had to mix it with something else for that one, to my room, and slowly ate all of that while watching the Formula 1 race. And yes, probably for the first time, I also posted a picture of food, which actually also includes the pizza and cake I had last year, as I had taken a picture then as well, albeit after eating a bit of the pizza, but had never posted it, so I put the two together now. Still had that fork that broke back then…
And speaking of pictures, didn’t even glance at anything posted by the organizers yet and once again I’m not sure I even will, as last year I didn’t. Still, last year I had found myself in several pictures posted by someone else, while now I only saw albums from two accounts posted on the event page and only spotted myself in the background, out of focus, in two pictures posted by one. Found two pictures clearly showing the woman who took that one I ended up sharing though, so I identified her thanks to the number, but didn’t identify the man. Seeing as he had that press badge, it should have been much easier, being simply a matter of looking at the badge, but I somehow never did and I couldn’t find him in what I saw so far. The other woman, the one who left before I asked to have my picture taken, had grabbed him as he was wandering around, taking a couple of pictures of all three of them for some reason, but I couldn’t identify her to see whether there was anything public on her account either. Quite disappointed by that, since I just wanted to know who took my pictures.

Guess I’ll start with a few more details about Friday, since I didn’t mention in my previous personal post that I tried to get some more sleep after getting my race kit but hardly managed anything, at first because my mother had started vacuuming. Did fall asleep after it got quiet enough, but only briefly, and after waking up I couldn’t fall asleep again, so I eventually got up and made myself the food I had planned to make, which I actually did mention in that previous post. Didn’t mention what it was though, so I’ll say now that it was pasta with a lot of other stuff mixed in, and it definitely was my best attempt yet by far.

Then came Saturday, when after watching the qualifying for the next day’s Formula 1 race I shaved and then meant to get back in bed, only to find that my mother had started the washing machine while I was shaving, and it’s close to my room and on top of parts of the washing cycle being loud, they also cause my door to vibrate a whole lot and my head’s very close to the door when I’m in bed, so there’s no way to sleep while it’s running. Asked her what that was about and she said she saw me around and assumed I was up, but then didn’t say anything else when I pretty much repeated what I had said the previous evening, which was that I needed to use that time left until the race to rest and sleep as much as I could, so unless they see me doing something outside my room, it should be enough indication that they should probably be quiet. Also mentioned that at 8 PM I will get up and wanted the kitchen clear, as I meant to slowly make myself a salad while watching the matches from the last round of our championship play-off, making it clear there was nothing to discuss about that when she said dad may get back around that time.
In the end, he got back some time after 7 PM, quite sure it was before 7:30 PM, slamming the door after walking in. So between having to wait for the washing machine to stop and that, I didn’t sleep much that evening either. Got back in bed after quickly going to the bathroom then, but didn’t fall asleep again before 8 PM, and I guess it wouldn’t have lasted long if I had, since at some point during those minutes he also allowed the door to the other bedroom to slam shut after going there for some reason, windows being open. But at least they were both in the living room when I went to the kitchen and didn’t bother me for the two hours I stayed there, making the salad, the pile of toast, on which I put a bit of butter and some kashkaval, and the tea, most of which to be left for the next day.
Took all that, along with a serving of the pasta made the previous evening that was at least twice as large as I’d otherwise have, to my room just as the Eurovision final was starting, at 10 PM, and slowly ate while watching, actually only finishing around or maybe even slightly after 1:30 AM, so around the same time the show did. Then I quickly wrote and posted the first post about the competition, finished getting almost everything ready for the morning, struggled for quite some time in the bathroom without managing to get much out, leaving me quite worried since I knew I’ll manage even less in the morning and there may be trouble while running because of it, quickly added just another tiny pointless thing in my story, and finally managed to get in bed when it was past 4 AM. Earlier than the usual 5 AM, sure, but I meant to do better than that, even hoping for 3 AM, and didn’t manage it.

The alarm rang at 7 AM, but I think I had woken up before then and can’t remember whether I managed to get back to sleep by then, probably because I was never sure to begin with. Either way, got up, went again to the toilet to struggle some more, as expected managed little more than farts, grabbed a little more to eat, mixing the magnesium and vitamin B complex powder that was part of the race kit into my cereal as well, and also put an apple, washed and cut in half, in a bag to take with me, added a few last things in my bag and pockets and left, around 8:05 AM or so.
On my way, I saw that work had started on this nearby road that’s part of the half marathon’s route, with the top layer being scraped off, which was definitely going to make this section quite unpleasant. And then I also confirmed something I thought I had spotted on Friday, which was that the entrance to the nearby metro station that I normally use was closed, work being done there as well, but I had already made sure on Friday that at least the other one was still open, and with the road already closed for the race, it was simply a matter of walking right across… And then waiting for about nine minutes for a train to come, so the fact that I had left just about that much earlier than planned didn’t help in any way. But I had to switch after one stop and the next one arrived very quickly, so in the end, after getting off at Izvor and glancing at the start area on the way while eating the apple, it wasn’t even 8:55 AM when I arrived in Constitution Square.
What I gather was the last round of the warmup was already taking place then, so I didn’t bother to jump in and take part in what was left, instead dropping off my bag, being pleased to see that the bag storage area was now organized, with volunteers taking the bags and only returning them if the person’s race number matched that on the sticker on the bag, and then wandering around for a while, also eating the energy bar that was also part of the race kit at some point while doing that. Pretty sure that some were offering apples there as well, but had already eaten mine so didn’t approach, though the fact that I didn’t approach them didn’t stop someone offering a free gym session and someone else offering a bottle of radler from approaching me. Refused both, the radler because I wasn’t going to drink it myself and didn’t feel like going back to the storage area to ask for my bag back just to put it in it and bring it to dad, as I did with the one I was offered when picking up my race kit on Friday.
After ignoring the first couple of announcements that those taking part in the half marathon should start making their way to the start area, I eventually went to the toilet, being pleased to see just a few people standing in line and, more importantly, that it was now possible to wash hands as well, unlike last year, even if the system was uncomfortable to use. Then, with that out of the way, I slowly made my way back to the start area, found the entrance to sector D after initially accidentally entering sector C and being confused for a moment, and carefully made my way forward through the crowd, the entrances being at the back of each sector, so by the time the start was given I was just a little behind the 2:00 pacemakers, who were at the front of that sector. And, even though this time around there was no timer above the start line, being a sector farther ahead than last year and with the start area now being in a straight line, I could know just when the start was given and start my stopwatch exactly on time.

Meant to put it all in a single post, but after giving up on even trying to start writing yesterday and struggling for quite a few hours to get this far today, guess I’ll do the same thing I did last year and split it in two, just that this time I’ll stop when the start was given and not when I actually crossed the start line. In a way, this makes it even weirder to include those parts about the days before here, but I’m not going to split it in even more parts. Now I can only hope it won’t be too long before I’ll manage to add the second part too, and that I’ll somehow also manage to include what I did after the race in it, since last year there was supposed to be a third post with that and it never got written. Maybe I’ll manage to add a few lines about that in this second post now as well, to allow for a quick comparison…

Seems like I am managing to once again add what was missing from the previous post on Monday, so let me get right to it, starting with comments about the top five acts in the actual classification. The comments about the top ten in mine will follow right after them. See said previous post for the links to the performances.

The political implications are missing, but in terms of the performance itself, Portugal this year was pretty much exactly the equivalent of Ukraine last year, and they both even ended up in the same position at the bottom of my classification, 24th out of 26. It can objectively be recognized as high quality, albeit rather pretentious, music, there can be no complaints about the artist’s vocal abilities, and it supposedly has a message. But the genre leaves me entirely cold, the performance, while theatrical, is entirely static and features a single person on stage, and now that message was delivered entirely in a language that the vast majority of the show’s audience, myself included, doesn’t know, so it may as well be missing if you don’t look it up. Plus, Portuguese always sounded simply ugly to me. Due to the undeniable objective quality, I don’t mind it winning, but it’s nothing I’d care to watch or listen in any way.
Rather surprised by Bulgaria’s position. Sure, again no complaints about the artist’s vocal abilities, but nothing in the song to catch my attention either way and the performance, while making decent use of the features provided by the organizers, again features a single person on stage and is also quite static. Overall, pretty much entirely forgettable for me, and I actually recall having to look it up again to remember which one it was when making the final classification in both the semifinal and the final.
Moldova had a catchy, upbeat song with some added interesting elements. Considering the way in which it was delivered as well, it’s the only song out of the top five that caught my attention in some positive way, though it’s still definitely not something I’d care for and therefore the song mark ended up being the same as the one I gave Bulgaria and Sweden. The show value was passable, but without really using props or interacting with each other in a meaningful way, no more than that.
In terms of the composition, Belgium actually had an interesting entry. Performed properly, it’s something I may actually care to listen to, but unfortunately the artist messed it up. In the semifinal she destroyed it completely, so the final performance was admittedly less bad, but there were still plenty of problems, and the fact that the backing vocals struggled to save it may have made that even more obvious. Plus, again entirely static, albeit somewhat theatrical, performance featuring a single person on stage. Wouldn’t have minded seeing it so high if juries and viewers would have been asked to judge according to the composition alone, trying to imagine how the songs should ideally sound, but that’s not what this is about, so it ended up next to last in my classification.
Though Sweden ended up higher in my classification than any other out of the top five, that was due to a somewhat higher show rating that I was grudgingly forced to give it. In terms of the song itself, on the other hand, I found little of value. I guess it’s not actually bad, but I probably frowned at times while listening, mainly due to the lyrics. And the artist messed up in a few places as well.

Croatia ended up at the top of my classification because it was a pretty good song that the artist performed not only very well, but also interestingly. Changing his voice back and forth the way he did, having a duet with himself, definitely caught my attention. And at least the maximum number of people were on stage at least toward the end, and there were a couple of instruments as well. So, on an evening when nothing else truly impressed in some other way, it had to be my top pick.
After struggling with it for some time, ended up placing Greece first in a group of three with exactly the same ratings, but I’m far from certain about it. It was a good enough song performed well enough, though I wonder whether the few problems noticed were due to the artist or the sound. Tend to say it was the sound, so I didn’t penalize her for it, but I may be wrong. Either way, there was a little show value as well, so the package wasn’t bad at all.
Azerbaijan ended up second in that group of three, but again I’m far from certain. The song was all right, the artist’s voice was a bit uncertain a couple of times at the start but otherwise it was a pretty solid performance, and again there was a little show value as well. Making a note of the moment when she wrote a word while singing a different line, the line including that word coming later. Quite hard to manage that, actually, and you can hear her struggling, but she didn’t mess up. Didn’t get the point of the horse mask though…
Last in that group of three is Romania, and this I’m less uncertain about. It’s a catchy, upbeat song and there’s a lot going on in it, making it seem longer than it actually is, but it relies more on something of a gimmick than a high quality composition, plus that I have issues with rapping. Still, she has a great voice and there was some show value as well, though that kiss at the end sure was awkward. Pretty sure she didn’t expect it, and read that they confirmed that as well.
Speaking of kisses, Belarus also had an upbeat song with an interesting sound and a catchy chorus. And there was some show value as well, despite only the two of them being on stage. Penalized it a little for the language and for a few moments when their voices didn’t sound too certain though.
At the end of the competition, I was thinking that the United Kingdom had the third best song, after Croatia and Denmark, but it may even be the second, and the artist definitely has a powerful voice and she performed it well. Dragged down by the static performance featuring a single person on stage, however, even if there was that added element there, I guess the result of somebody eventually sparing a little thought about giving viewers something to, well, view as well.
Good song from Netherlands as well, and I’d have probably rated it higher without that repeated sound that gave me the impression of somebody swallowing a lump in their throat and the little bits that were rather spoken. As it was, and with admittedly three people on stage but not doing much, it ended up where it did in my classification.
Italy’s one of the only two entries in my top ten, or in fact in my top 12, that actually ended up higher than I placed it, and I guess it does stand out due to being something of a parody, the only one this year. Other than that, it’s another upbeat and rather catchy song, and there is some show value as well. Still take issue with songs that aren’t in English, even more so when people are supposed to understand the lyrics, but at least Italian doesn’t bother me in itself and it wasn’t a matter of some deep message that actually needed to be delivered, so the general idea was enough.
Likely ranked Ukraine higher than I should have, in part because it was the harder song of the competition and there were a couple of bits where the instrumental part caught my attention. Not something I’d actually care to listen to in itself though, and the voice was a problem.
Sweden’s the second entry in my top ten, and in fact in my top 12, that actually ended up higher than I placed it, and also the only one in that same top 12 of mine that actually ended up in the top five. As I already stated above, however, I grudgingly placed it where I did due to some rules I have for my rating system in terms of show value. As I said, didn’t exactly care for the song, something in the lyrics made me frown and he didn’t perform it quite so well either.

Actually, said the comments will be about my top ten, but mentioned my top 12 three times above, so let me just quickly add that Denmark and Poland had entries with good songs and voices, but were dragged down by show value. At least Poland had a second person on stage, not that there was much reason to notice him, but I rated the song a bit lower, so it ended up below Denmark.

I’ll do the same thing I did last year, and for the same reason, so there will once again be two posts, this one including my classification and some general comments about the final and the semifinals, while the next will contain the comments about the top songs, both in the actual classification and in mine. Once again, I’m hoping to manage to post that second one on Monday, but the fact that I did so last year doesn’t have to mean I will again, so not making promises at the moment.

Overall, can’t say I was impressed with this edition, my general opinion varying between the rather poor first semifinal, the quite good second one and the so and so final. There were plenty of acts that were decent, even good, including a few that sadly failed to make it into the final, but not much to truly stand out. Also, and without even counting the cases where the problems were obviously technical, noticed a fair number of issues with the voices, songs that deserved to sound better than they ended up sounding. And the show value was quite poor in general, many seeming to no longer give much importance to actually doing something on stage, regardless of how much use they made of the screens, lights or pyrotechnics.
Didn’t know that much about the performances before the actual competition this year, only listening a couple of times to the songs, in the official versions posted on the official channel. Didn’t follow news or updates, didn’t watch anything from rehearsals and only remember glancing at a few videos from a couple of national finals a while back. That means I had no idea about the potential show value or how good or bad the voices were likely to sound live, and definitely knew nothing about any background stories… And in this case I’m guessing the background made a huge difference in terms of deciding the winner.

My ranking system is still the same, giving one mark for song and another for show value, plus a positive, neutral or negative modifier, and ranking first according to the overall mark that is the result of averaging the song and show ones, then according to the song mark and then, if both marks are equal, according to the modifier. In case all three are equal, the ranking is the result of me trying to quickly compare the performances in question at the end.
Once again, still largely for my own use, I’ll list all the information here, with the first number being the position in my classification, the one between parentheses that follows it being the actual position, the first number that follows the country name being the overall mark, the second being the song mark and the modifier, if not neutral, being listed at the end. All links are from the official channel, so they shouldn’t vanish.

1. (13.) Croatia (7, 7.5, plus)
2. (19.) Greece (6.75, 6.5)
3. (14.) Azerbaijan (6.75, 6.5)
4. (7.) Romania (6.75, 6.5)
5. (17.) Belarus (6.75, 6.5, minus)
6. (15.) United Kingdom (6.5, 7, plus)
7. (11.) Netherlands (6.5, 6.5)
8. (6.) Italy (6.5, 6.5)
9. (24.) Ukraine (6.5, 6, plus)
10. (5.) Sweden (6.5, 6, minus)
11. (20.) Denmark (6.25, 7, plus)
12. (22.) Poland (6.25, 6.5, plus)
13. (3.) Moldova (6.25, 6, plus)
14. (23.) Israel (6.25, 6)
15. (10.) Norway (6.25, 6)
16. (16.) Austria (6.25, 5.5, plus)
17. (8.) Hungary (6.25, 5.5, minus)
18. (25.) Germany (6, 6.5, plus)
19. (12.) France (6, 6.5)
20. (2.) Bulgaria (6, 6, plus)
21. (18.) Armenia (6, 6, plus)
22. (21.) Cyprus (6, 6, plus)
23. (26.) Spain (6, 5.5)
24. (1.) Portugal (5.75, 6, plus)
25. (4.) Belgium (5.75, 6, plus)
26. (9.) Australia (5.5, 5.5, plus)

My ranking matched the actual result for Austria, was one place off for Cyprus, two places off for Italy, and three places off for Armenia, Romania and Spain. On the other hand, I was at least ten places off for Australia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Croatia, Greece, Moldova, Poland and Ukraine, and even more than 20 places off for Belgium and, obviously, Portugal.

And to mention the semifinals as well, they were again very different in terms of quality.
From the first one I only actually wanted Azerbaijan, Finland, Greece and Poland to go through. Past that, and other than Finland, my classification also eventually had Albania, Latvia and maybe Slovenia through instead of Armenia, Australia, Belgium and Portugal, but right below the line were Iceland, Georgia and the Czech Republic and I had a very hard time separating that group of four, as in including Slovenia. Not that it matters, since none of them made it, but eventually the order ended up the one I listed them in here, and I can leave the Czech Republic at the bottom and out, but would have rather wanted the others through, or at least Iceland instead of Sweden, which was just boosted by some decent show value. Either way, definitely have no idea why Australia made it, and can say the same about Belgium due to the performance, especially that evening, though the song itself is decent. Know why Portugal made it, and I’m only talking about the song itself now, but it’s definitely not my thing at all.
The problem with the second semifinal was that I wanted no less than 12 acts to go through, and also that four of them ended up outside the top ten in my classification, two others making it in due to the show rating. My classification had Estonia, Ireland, San Marino, Serbia and Switzerland instead of Bulgaria, Denmark, Hungary, Israel and Netherlands, but definitely no problem with Denmark and Netherlands making it in, as those were also among the 12 and actually some of the better songs overall in my view, Denmark in particular, the entries being dragged down by the lack of show value. The other three, however, were out of the only four I specifically didn’t want to see making it, the fourth being Lithuania. And I am particularly bothered by the fact that Estonia was left out.

Picked up my race kit for Sunday’s half marathon today, and walked there and back, taking quite a significant detour on the way back as well to check out a couple of places I was considering getting something from after finishing, and during which detour a piece of wood, likely from the eaves of the house I was passing by at the time, fell probably less than half a meter from me. Will probably only get a pizza from one of said places though, since I’m too down in the dumps and the money issue exploded again, so I’m just completely out of it and the plans I had to “reward” myself, with multiple “levels” according to the result, went down the drain. Have the money for it now, but no longer want to, and considering how things stand and how much worse they’ll get, with something happening now and the way my parents keep handling things, I can’t waste anything like this. May end up spending on a movie later anyway, which will be an even bigger waste, but there is a reason for it that… Means something…
The thing is that I have been preparing for this since last year, struggled to come out of the winter able to run ten kilometers just fine every week, did the longer runs as well, got good times, struggled to keep at it despite the recent health issues, even looked more into what food should be eaten before such a run and trying to do a little about that as well these days. Actually just eating something I made and which I’d say turned out very well, not that I even know why I still bothered with it this evening…
I had a goal, some motivation, and that’s really rare. I really wanted to do well, though I was increasingly worried and afraid because of it. But always need stability and predictability, and the first issue was the fact that a monthly metro card wasn’t purchased anymore, for the first time in years I think. Now there’s just a ten-trip one dad got, saying he’ll get me another too since he needs that these days, so each trip will count as money spent and the idea of wandering around and checking out several places today and then maybe buying from a few of them Sunday went down the drain. And then buying in general went down the drain since I also needed the money for the “rewards” and had mentioned it repeatedly, yet what I got and the reaction that came with it stunned me. Sure, quite a lot more was given later, but that was after I snapped, which happens when I need to talk about money either way it goes, and after it was too late to do something about what I had already given up on, and the mood was too down the drain for future plans as well.
I’m just too down to care anymore. If the money wouldn’t have been spent to sign up, doubt I’d even be going anymore. As it is, I guess I have to, though I also slept little yesterday and today and also walked quite a lot on both these days, my right foot isn’t happy and a tooth seems to want to start hurting too. But the plans for a great time, and obviously also the chances of it, went down the drain. Maybe I’ll still try something once there, I don’t know, but at the same time I may just take it slowly and at least know from the start that I won’t manage anything. No idea… What I know is that I’ll be completely out of it for quite a while, no matter how that goes. And considering giving up on running for good after this, of course.

Oh, yes, and I also broke a plate Monday. A little one, and I have no idea how it happened. Was washing it and it somehow shot out of my hand with quite some force, flying back under my arm, taking a couple of plastic things that were in the way with it and shattering on the floor. Highly doubt I could have thrown it like that if I’d have wanted to. So, either way, just adds to the things I broke, and keep breaking, or which keep breaking around or on me. Or… Something…

I’m sure there was something else I wanted to write about, and there’s more to say about today as well, and about the mess yesterday, but forgot what that other thing was and the rest is just shut away to some extent. I’m numb. Maybe I’ll remember what that other thing was and get to more of the rest later, or maybe I won’t. Posted a rant that’s pretty much about these issues last year anyway.