Writing this now because my Internet access seems to be having some weird issues at the moment and I’d rather try to post it before something worse happens, considering the weekend is coming. But I actually meant to avoid a Saturday update as much as a Sunday one this week anyway, so I guess this only works as added incentive, albeit not the sort I’d have liked. Sure hope it’s not something getting messed up yet again, considering the rain and wind we’ve been having lately, because that would really be too much.
What’s definitely not much, however, is what I have to say now, though the fact that I didn’t lump other things into my previous post means I’m yet to mention this week’s run, which was Monday. Was rather uncomfortable, as my right hip didn’t seem to like the way I sat on the toilet before leaving and the fact that I was trying to protect it somewhat meant I ended up doing something to that knee as well, since it hurt for the next few days, but that’s over now. So, back to the run itself, the time was 20:54, which sure looks good under the circumstances, and the intermediate times were 4:44, 10:05 and 16:15, respectively.
Otherwise, it was actually last week that I entered some more mobyranks on MobyGames, but I’m yet to continue since. And I can’t say I’ve been playing much either, as I still have five of those DLC missions left, so no chance to finish the entire package in the first half of this month. Will try to do it by March 20 though, and most definitely have it as a goal to be completely done with it by the end of the month. Still didn’t decide whether I’ll also write a review at that time though.
As for my neck, it still hurts, and there are moments when my back seems to be meaning to as well, though I’m careful enough to prevent that from happening so far. Will need to be even more so if I’m to go through with it and take part in that tree planting action after all, because that’s definitely not something one can do when struggling with back pain, or with hip or knee pain for that matter, but if things keep up like this I guess I’ll need to give in and have it checked out once that’s behind me. Sure don’t want to think of that though, since I’m scared enough of everything already.
But speaking of health issues, there sure was a lot of blood from another place yesterday, and I have to admit it was my fault, doing the wrong things and even holding it in a bit despite getting a “warning” the day before and knowing that this tends to cause bleeding. Hadn’t been this bad in months though, and my body sure didn’t like the blood loss, as I felt like I had quite a fever after that, and it’s possible that I actually had one. Got better after waking up this afternoon, but this is another thing I definitely must avoid in the days before planting trees.
Today marks ten years since I ended up thrown back here. Almost wrote this last night, since I was eating when it struck me that ten years before at that time I was stuffed in the back seat of dad’s car, next to the computer and possibly also at least one box of books, as I’m not sure whether both or, in fact, any fit in the trunk. Was all cried out for the moment, since I could cry before, and not seeing even any present, much less any future. And that sure didn’t change, and all of these ten years prove that vision, or actually that lack of a vision, correct.
Almost wrote this last night, but I said I wasn’t at the computer when the thought struck me and the above paragraph is pretty much all I have, so there’s no real post here. Plus, especially since I keep stubbornly struggling to add a few more pointless lines in my story every night, writing a personal post at night would mark quite an extreme low and I feel… I guess I feel I don’t have the right to do so when nothing changes, and nothing has changed in so long.
I’m being told ten years is an awfully long time to be stuck on something and do absolutely nothing about it, as if I had somehow missed this little fact. But I was too chicken to kill myself even when it did have a point and she obviously didn’t and won’t even think of another chance and even trying to talk only got me ignored, with the exception of that period at the end of 2007 and start of 2008, and eventually blocked. Plus that, in all honesty, based on what little I can gather, it’d be a case of unhappy with her instead of miserable without her even if that miracle would happen. So it’d take two of them and there’s nothing to do, though of course the only thing left is that false hope that someday there will be, which will remain as long as both of us will still be alive and one particular thing won’t happen.
Seeing as this blog has for quite a while largely become only a personal one, reaching this number was only a matter of time, and now that time has come. Not that this would in itself be a problem, but the problem is the lack of non-personal posts lately, as now those book reviews I copied here as well are the only reason why I still have less posts in the Personal and Tests & Surveys categories than in the others. Eliminate the Books category and the number of personal posts exceeded non-personal ones for the first time two weeks ago. The post that followed that one drew the two major categories level once again, but this is likely the last time that will happen if you don’t count those reviews.
The reason why I’m writing this now is not only to avoid another Sunday update, but because those who organize this spring’s major tree planting effort here finally posted some of the locations and one is close to Bucharest, so I rushed to register as a volunteer. Kept meaning to take part in something like this for years and I guess it was about time, though the date is still three weeks away, so plenty of things can happen before then and I guess I also have plenty of time to somehow change my mind, or simply realize I can’t do something like this, considering what it means.
The neck’s obviously one concern, as it’s definitely not getting any better, but quite the contrary, and taking part in such an action will obviously require a lot of effort and moving in various ways that may not agree with such problems. But, of course, that’s hardly the only reason why I’m concerned about it, and this morning I even once again experienced the sort of pain I occasionally wake up with, the difference being that now it didn’t seem to go away when I moved into the position that usually makes that happen within a few minutes and I eventually needed to get up before it did, and a rather uncomfortable feeling remained since then anyway. This feeling is hardly new, but coupled with the main issue and the fact that something definitely seems to have moved in a different way around there and the methods I used to manage these issues no longer seem to work doesn’t paint a pretty picture.
No idea what I’ll do about that, but writing about it here won’t help either, so let me end this by saying that the pain wasn’t the only reason why I only slept some three hours this morning. In fact, it started hurting after I turned around, trying to get back to sleep after waking up for apparently no reason. Unfortunately, I found out the reason mere moments later, as I began to hear loud drilling and hammering noises from the neighbors, which continued for quite a number of hours. So I can only hope they’ll take, and give me, a break tomorrow… And also on the day before the tree planting, because I definitely won’t be getting any sleep that night, seeing as I’ll need to be up around the time I usually go to bed, if not even before.
Actually managed to finish the Modern Times campaign on Sunday, so it was even by the end of last week, not just by the end of the month. Then Monday was the only day I didn’t play, as since then I managed to keep up that pace of finishing one mission per day as I started the additional ones. So at this point it’s three down, seven to go, though I have to say they’re quite difficult. This third one that I finished today much less so despite the disasters, but the first was rather tight at times and I only barely managed to complete the second without needing to reload or restart thanks to getting quite lucky more than once.
Otherwise, my neck is definitely becoming quite a problem, and while otherwise it doesn’t bother me unless I move it in a few ways that cause pain, which rarely happens unless I specifically try to see whether it’s any better, it sure doesn’t like me trying to sleep. This morning I actually woke up due to the pain and the only way I managed to get back to sleep was facedown, with my head on my arms in order to be able to breathe, as turning it to the side was definitely not an option.
Meant to ask dad where should I go to see what’s going on there and what can be done about it, but didn’t manage to get the words out yet, considering what it means. If it keeps up like this, and even more so if I’ll keep noticing some slight numbness or burning sensation in my fingers and toes, or even hands and feet, I guess I’ll have to go, and pretty soon, even if this slight numbness or the occasional pain isn’t new. I’m pretty sure I knew what was causing these issues before and getting this far without having them checked out more properly shows I more or less knew how to set things back in place, but this is different.
As for this week’s run, that was Monday and despite struggling to get out of bed and feeling that the first sector was particularly difficult I managed a pretty good 20:50, with intermediate times of 4:36, 10:01 and 16:05, respectively. Was sort of considering a second run this week, to create this small buffer again, but gave up on that idea and now I’m thinking next week’s run will also be on Monday, to get it out of the way in case I’ll have to see a doctor after all and get told I should take it very easy for a while, or worse. According to the current forecast, Monday seems to be the best day for it anyway.
I seem to be finishing Modern Times missions at a rate of one per day. Granted, finished the eighth on Monday and the ninth only yesterday, but that was because I didn’t play the two days in between, so finishing the tenth this evening leaves me with two missions and three days until the end of the month. Keeping this pace up in what should be the hardest part of the campaign doesn’t sound particularly likely, and if I’ll be alone at some point this weekend I likely won’t be playing that day, or at least not much, but it doesn’t seem entirely impossible anymore, while until just a little earlier this evening it did.
Otherwise, this week’s run was Tuesday and the time was a pretty nice 20:35. Still, that meant another somewhat disappointing final part, as the intermediate times were 4:31, 9:47 and 15:49, respectively, so I was slightly faster in that last part than two weeks ago, when I set the current record for the lap around the lake, but still significantly slower than when I set the current overall record, when I also needed 15:49 to cover the lap but then was 14 seconds faster in that final part. And this time I didn’t have any issues to use as an excuse, unlike two weeks ago.
My neck isn’t getting any better, on the other hand, and I’m noticing other likely related things that make me worry even more. Now I’m trying to pretty much not move it in any way that causes pain and see if that helps, since when my back is acting up the pain’s bad enough to force me to do this and it gets better after a few days, while now since it was manageable I not only didn’t care to spare it but actually moved it quite a lot in ways that hurt, thinking I may either snap something back in place or warm up muscles or tendons, if that’s the issue. But since that always only made it worse when the issue was my back, why’d it be any different here?
