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A Better Attitude Towards Sex?

It would appear that British pupils are advised to have an enjoyable sex life. Despite the many indignant voices which immediately challenged this recommendation, it still might just signal an improvement in the officials’ attitudes towards sex and masturbation, which can only be a good thing.
The detractors are, of course, right when they say that there are plenty of wrong ways to have sex, possibly resulting in pregnancies, STDs or injuries, but that’s not the fault of the act itself. If you’re not careful when it comes to birth control, STD prevention and choosing the person or people you’ll do it with, there will be problems. But that’d be strictly your fault, the problem being not that you did it, but that you did it wrong. You can have good and safe sex, preferably within a solid relationship, and therefore ensure that it will be an extremely beneficial experience in plenty of ways. I really think the beauty of it, when done under certain circumstances, should be emphasized way more, so I’m seeing this as a rather surprising step in the right direction for a change.

Somebody was saying that she’d have been quite happy if they’d have recommended only masturbation, seeing as that is much safer and simpler and also very useful in preparing yourself for sex. I guess that’s a valid point, though there are also a few wrong ways to masturbate, but why stop at the simpler thing? Masturbation will very likely offer you that orgasm, sometimes working even better than sex in that aspect, especially for women, but it won’t offer you all those other components that require another person actually being there with you and doing it together. So yes, it can also be a very good thing, but it’s certainly not better than sex.
Instead of stopping at what is now easier, shouldn’t we try to make it easier for teenagers to have safe and enjoyable sex? Because this very attitude exhibited by all those detractors makes teenagers and young adults avoid approaching the topic and therefore makes them less likely to actually put that knowledge to use, even if they did know how to do it right. After all, you need to get those condoms, birth control pills and whatever else you might want to use from somewhere, right? And that can be hard enough in itself, seeing as we’re talking about something that could be seen as very personal, so when you get the feeling that most other people think you shouldn’t be needing those things in the first place you tend to just do without them, which results in all those pregnancies and STDs…

What I’m trying to say is that we really need a more open attitude towards sex, and that something like this could really be a step in the right direction. People must feel comfortable talking about sex from an early age, because that’s the only way they’re going to get the help they need in order to find the beauty of it while avoiding the risks. Even if they can find out what to do on their own without actually interacting with anyone, seeing as the information is quite readily available, they need to feel that others have a positive attitude towards it in order to communicate. And communication is certainly necessary, both with your partner and with others, such as the pharmacists or doctors you might need to get in touch with in order to keep it safe.

Written by Cavalary on July 15, 2009 at 9:02 PM in Society | 0 Comments

How Ten Years Turn to Dust

Sarah: Hey.
Cavalary: Hi.
Cavalary: What’s up?
Sarah: Not much over here. Sitting around since I’m off work for a few more weeks.
Cavalary: Nothing wrong with doing nothing.
Sarah: Sorry, had a phone call.
Cavalary: No problem… So… You know I have no idea what to say…
Sarah: I’m guessing you’re not talking to me now.
Cavalary: Um, why wouldn’t I? What did you do?
Sarah: Gah! Must not have sent.
Sarah: I’m pregnant.
Cavalary: WHAT?
Sarah: Yeah.
Cavalary: Weren’t you being more careful after last time?
Sarah: Yeah, we were until we decided we wanted this.
Cavalary: Then you’re right, there go ten years, fuck off!

And that’s how a friend of ten years becomes a sworn enemy with one phrase. Sarah was the person I’ve been keeping in touch with the longest, ten years just these days. Granted that it was on and off since Andra left, and for the past couple of months it was “off”, but still… Either way, I’ve certainly placed her firmly in the “enemies” section as of now.

I was just thinking about this over the past couple of months… Used to feel a bit rotten when I’d wish for bad things to happen to people who have children, but then I realized there’s nothing wrong in wanting a person to be punished for a crime they’ve committed. There’s nothing wrong in wanting rapists or murderers to be punished, so if I consider having a child (unless both parents are truly extraordinary individuals, by which I mean proven geniuses or record holding athletes who would also be in perfect health on top of that) as the worst crime possible, wishing the worst punishments on those guilty of it seems fair enough… At least I’d say that rapists and murderers usually deserve a second chance, but people who have children when the world is as overpopulated as it is certainly don’t!
That said, I have one last thing to say to Sarah and Dennis: Hope you’ll rot in the Hell you’re helping maintain on this Earth! (Not that they’re going to read this, it’d be quite impossible at the moment anyway, but I just need to have it out there.)

But of course this made me even more afraid. Anyone reading this should know that I’ll never tolerate this from anyone in my life, so it’s also the only thing I wouldn’t accept from Andra either, which makes it the only way to make things worse. So I keep worrying and panicking that maybe it’s going to happen, or it already has, and…
The fact that I ended up talking to Mandy and Laurel again recently, after four or five and seven years, respectively, and I noticed that they didn’t have any children, with Mandy clearly saying she won’t ever have any either, was mildly reassuring, making me think that there might be a nice pattern here and that it could hold. But now…
Not to mention that yesterday was July 12th, so it would have been quite hard to pick a worse time for this. Not that there could ever be any non-dreadful time for such filth, but still…

Written by Cavalary on July 13, 2009 at 11:47 PM in Personal | 0 Comments

Just a Regular Day?

July 12th… It used to be our anniversary and then it became the commemoration of the start of all the actual life I ever had. But for everyone else it’s just a regular day. I can’t even sit and talk about memories because nobody wants to hear. Nobody cared about that for years. It just doesn’t fit what they see as the normal way to react to something like this and they don’t care…
Seven years, a little more than three together, nearly four since she left. I wonder if she even remembers. Or, if she does, I wonder how she remembers it.

I guess there really isn’t anything left to say after all this time, not to anyone else at least. Just leave me be… For me it’s certainly not just a regular day.

At least it’s raining a lot, so the weather mirrors my mood…

Written by Cavalary on July 12, 2009 at 2:56 PM in Personal | 0 Comments

Abortion

I’ve recently bumped into a few people who were very much against abortion, which triggered a few discussions of varying length, one of them actually being rather long and moderately interesting. That made me want to write this post and explain exactly how I see this issue and why. I also want to use this to point out that, contrary to what those who are pro-life sometimes claim, the term “pro-choice” is really pretty correct when it comes to most of those who use it to describe their stance on this issue, because I’d like the term “pro-abortion” to describe those who have views similar to mine, which are rather different from what “pro-choice” usually means. Actually, what’s wrong is the term “pro-life”, since I hardly see any of those who describe themselves as such showing that same amount of care for all life.
This won’t change anyone or anything, that’s quite obvious, but at least I’ll be able to just give people a link whenever the topic will be brought up again. I’m saying it won’t change anyone or anything because I’ll try to explain things logically, use reasoning to justify my stance, and those who are against abortion rarely make any use of these faculties when it comes to this issue. This doesn’t necessarily mean that all of them are stupid, only that they find it hard to think about this issue logically for one reason or another. Somebody even admitted to me recently that she can’t exactly think it through when it comes to this issue, it just “feels wrong”.

Let’s start with the legal part, to establish why abortion can’t be made illegal due to any concerns for the unborn child’s rights. You see, from a legal point of view, a person thankfully starts to exist only after they’re born. That’s when the birth certificate is issued, that’s the moment their age starts to be counted from, so any rights can only be awarded from that point forward. You thankfully can’t find a fetus registered anywhere, so you can’t give it any rights and therefore can’t forbid people from doing anything because it’d violate its rights! And you also can’t say that the lack of a birth would harm humans in general in any way, because it’s exactly the opposite: Yet another person would use even more resources, leaving less for everyone else, harming the planet as a whole and everyone who currently lives on it. So there is no reason to be against it as far as human rights go.
The next argument will likely shock many, because it is the spiritual one. It shouldn’t have any relevance, because religion shouldn’t have any say in politics, so it shouldn’t affect laws in any way, but I’m including it to counter the most common argument against abortion. You see, if you believe in souls in any way then you also believe that some higher power either actually places them inside bodies or at least establishes the rules according to which this body-soul link is created, right? Such a being would obviously have to be very intelligent and wise in order to be in such a position, so it would need to have a reason to create this link and would also make sure that it’s only created when and where it could actually be useful. Such a link would most likely be useful in order to allow souls to learn things through their experiences in the physical world, so it would only make sense to be created once a body is reasonably certain to be able to have enough of a life to accumulate some such experiences, so the soul won’t be thrown back right away, even more confused than it was before. That moment can’t be before the actual birth, since there’s not too much you can experience inside the womb, and there certainly isn’t anything at all you can experience early during the pregnancy, when the embryo doesn’t even have a brain! That moment could actually come at some point after the birth, such as when the baby is reasonably certain to be healthy enough to survive, which means that this connection could be delayed even further in case of babies who are born with health problems or who simply are too undeveloped. So there is absolutely no reason that a wise deity could have to allow souls to be connected to fetuses and therefore the spiritual argument can’t be used to justify being against abortion!
Lastly, let me handle the generic issue of life too. Those who are against abortion tend to call it murder, but how can something be alive before it’s born? (I also have to wonder how many of them are equally worried about other forms of life far more developed than a fetus, such as most mammals or birds, which are harmed, exploited and killed whenever it suits humans, but that’s another issue.) What’s more, whatever is inside another’s body should be treated as a part of that body and handled accordingly. Within the first three months of pregnancy, before it has a brain, it’s nothing more than a lump of cells growing inside you. So is a tumor! Do you have a problem with removing those too? True, I was given the argument that certain creatures are still living even without brains and of course that’s correct, microbes are certainly like that, so do you also have a problem with killing those by the billions? I don’t think so, and I don’t think you have a problem with killing more advanced parasites which take residence inside your body either. So things can’t really be alive before being born or hatching and even creatures which are alive according to that definition but are inside another’s body, some of which could be considered more advanced that a human embryo, are to be treated according to said body’s owner’s wishes, without giving them any rights. It could perhaps be argued that it is killing if the abortion is done so late that the child could actually survive outside its mother’s body but measures are taken so that won’t happen, yes, but up to that point it’s either similar to a tumor or to a parasite and has no more rights than those, because you can’t take into account what it might become if allowed to develop further, as some do… All life on this planet consisted of bacteria once, and look what those developed into, and yet those which are currently just bacteria are treated exactly as such, and that’s how it should be.

But this isn’t even about law or morality anymore, it’s about necessity! The population needs to drop and therefore something needs to be done to prevent any significant number of births. Birth control measures which actually prevent pregnancies would be the ideal solution, but when those fail or when the people don’t use them properly (or at all) you still have another, namely abortion. Somebody argued that if something truly needs to be done about this then she’d rather have adults killed instead of unborn babies, because the adults had a chance to solve this problem and didn’t, so it could perhaps be seen as fair punishment, but that won’t work either. Mainly it won’t work because you can’t compare killing something which is alive to destroying something which yet isn’t and also because the adults who choose abortion are actually doing something about the problem, so you can’t take away the solution and then punish them for not using it. But it also won’t work because in order to balance things out you’d need to kill one parent as soon as the child is born and the other some time later, soon enough to compensate for the fact that the child will normally live much longer than either of its parents would have lived. If you do that, isn’t the child punished more than anyone else? So why think of such solutions when you can just prevent the birth and solve the problem before it even arises?
On the other hand, I fully agree that something should be done to those who resort to it frequently, but I’m only talking about sterilizing them permanently and that’s more as a favor than anything else. They’re proving that they can’t even be responsible enough for their own bodies, so they obviously won’t be able to be responsible for a child if they’d ever have one, plus that by avoiding even more abortions in the future you eliminate the associated potential health risks. I also say that an abortion should normally be done within the first trimester of pregnancy and agree that people who have late abortions should be punished in some way, if they can’t somehow prove that they weren’t aware of the pregnancy until then. If we’re talking about terminating a pregnancy after more than seven months then the act itself might become a bit questionable even from my point of view, assuming that the fetus wouldn’t have any significant health problems or malformations, but even choosing to wait until the second trimester should be punished, likely by some sort of fine, simply because it complicates matters and shows that you didn’t really intend to have it done in the first place, so you were actually considering worsening the world’s worst problem. Still, this fine for a second trimester abortion would be quite harmful if it’d end up making people choose to carry pregnancies to term instead of convincing them to have the abortion sooner, so there should be a much harsher penalty for actually giving birth to that baby, which would require population control and that’s another issue, one that I keep ranting about whenever possible.

This should have ended up much better than this, but I rarely can put my thoughts into human-readable form effectively, so this will have to do. At least I assume the part about abortions being a necessity proved what I said at the beginning about wanting to claim the term “pro-abortion” for those who think like I do and thus prove that “pro-choice” is the correct term for the vast majority of those who describe themselves as such.

Written by Cavalary on July 9, 2009 at 4:38 AM in Society | 0 Comments

JRPGs

Final Fantasy VIII, which I just gave up on after reaching Ultimecia’s Castle because it would have been absolutely impossible to make it through with my characters, reminded me of just how weird I find JRPGs in general. There usually is a good story which attempts to relay an even better message, the characters have distinct personalities and you can really get to understand and care for them… But the gameplay is absolutely terrible and the difficulty level makes it nearly impossible to focus on the story while playing. These two parts really don’t seem to go well together.
I do find the Japanese quite strange, and that’s saying a lot when it comes from me, but I wonder if even they truly enjoy these games, with everything they entail, or if they just learned to accept them as they are simply because this is what they’ve been getting for so many years… I really don’t see how can someone truly like these conflicting sides. The difficulty level makes you unable to enjoy the story, the frequent movies and other such elements wreak havok with the game’s pace, the fact that you can’t customize the characters hinders your ability to really relate to them despite their nicely defined personalities and life stories, and the message is just lost somewhere among all this mess!

I believe that Final Fantasy VIII is an excellent example of how to ruin a game by trying to appease two opposite crowds at the same time. I find myself needing to remind everyone of what I wrote in an earlier post about game story modes, because it fits in very well here. I think the hardcore gamers who truly enjoy this kind of gameplay and the challenge of beating a difficult game could really use that “action” setting I described in that post, while the rest of us could use the “story” setting coupled with a lower difficulty. People should of course still be able to choose the “story” setting and a high difficulty if they wish it, but I think the vast majority would pick either one or the other and everyone would be much happier that way.

The other major issue I have with JRPGs is, of course, the fact that they’re made for consoles and even the few that are ported to PCs have awkward controls. I think that if you port a game you should also adapt it to the new platform. Developers who create console versions of PC games seem to be learning that lesson in recent years, at least from what I keep hearing, but it doesn’t seem to work quite so well the other way around. I wonder how much of this is because of the difference between the PC and console gaming markets, as I described it in another earlier post

Written by Cavalary on July 5, 2009 at 4:30 PM in Gaming | 0 Comments