Cav's Place

“Great” way to start this day, waking up when dad went to the bathroom, apparently falling asleep again while waiting for him to be done, waking up again when he flushed, seeing that it was just after 11 AM, going to pee, then having a hard time getting back to sleep, just managing to get a few naps that were only minutes long, and even that ending when I was woken up by a loud crack followed by what seemed like an electrical sound, so I jumped to check the computer, and also my phone, which I had plugged in to charge only some ten minutes earlier, and after that I obviously couldn’t even try to get back to sleep. And things were pretty much the same in terms of how I slept yesterday as well, since dad had that guy over for a while, so after getting up to pee at one point I was increasingly stressed, and then he also woke up and there was some noise, so I once again only got a few more naps that were only minutes long before I gave up and got on the computer. And I didn’t sleep much better two days ago either, and Monday evening I ran, on high temperatures, so I’m pretty much drained, but I can’t try to get back to sleep either.
To return to that crack that woke and worried me, it’s not the first time this happens, nothing seems obviously wrong and the bookcase is the most probable culprit, especially since the slight change in weight caused by taking my phone off it might have increased the risk of it cracking, and other options are the desk, the window or even something else that’s nevertheless still harmless, but I’m still worried, especially considering these temperatures, seeing as we’re in the longest heat wave in recorded history, with over a week of highs around 40°C and at least 35°C pretty much the entire month, and who knows what’s coming in August. But, of course, this and worse is what the whole world is facing because of what we have been doing to it, and we refuse to stop even now.
But that’s not the topic of this post, so I’ll just get back to today, yet another July 12 that’s at least not a milestone, being the 19th lonely one, which would have marked 22 years, and which is therefore the 23rd if you also include the first. And at least this time around having a free “slot” for a personal post isn’t a problem, but otherwise there are some similarities with last year, including the temperature, even if last year this period of such heat was far shorter, and the fact that I’m once again yet to write about this summer’s Dream Trek and I was still hoping to write the post directly, so while this time around I do have some notes, the more detailed ones are about what I did before and after, those about the actual run being little more than the few words I hastily scribbled on a piece of paper during some of the breaks, which include one thing that I can’t understand and which refers to something that I don’t really remember either, and other details are obviously fading from memory as well.
At least I seem to be playing games recently, since after finishing Vampires Dawn on June 26, two days later I installed and started Phoning Home, which I could play for a while even if my computer was obviously struggling with it, and after it didn’t work anymore, constantly crashing with an “out of memory” error, even at absolutely minimum settings, when passing through the portal to get to ANI, two days ago I uninstalled it and installed and started Heretic Kingdoms: The Inquisition. It’s been over ten years since I bought this one, but with Intel graphics listed as unsupported, I didn’t even think that I should bother trying to play it, yet now that I did, I found that it does work, and I’ve been playing it a fair bit over these past two days… Which is something of a problem, because yesterday I also started reading The Bone Season, which I borrowed from the Library and which is due to be returned on July 17… Which was a surprise, since I borrowed it and If Nietzsche Were a Narwhal on July 1 and you should normally be able to keep them for 21 days, but I didn’t ask why that wasn’t the case and now I just have to rush through it.
Speaking of that, I was considering going to read in the park these days, late in the evening, maybe even at night, and I even thought about doing so today. I probably won’t, I don’t think I can deal with much of anything today, and having people around, likely seeing couples as well, and obviously plenty of children that will just remind me even more of my worst fear, is very high on the list of what I really don’t want to put myself through at the moment… And I am still worried about that crack, and these temperatures may definitely cause problems, and things seem to malfunction around me when I’m in such a state anyway, plus that there’s the obvious risk of power failures these days, so I’ll see what I’ll end up doing. There actually were two brief power failures two days ago, and while those weren’t a problem, the plan would be to actually do the work that I have to do on the computer when one will force me to turn it off, since I really should also clean some of the dust from it, to help with the temperatures these days. But I hope it won’t happen today, because I really, really don’t want to have to deal with that as well.

As for the searches that I usually do around this time, I just found another little piece of information, but obviously it’s still just a professional matter. A friend asked how she is when I brought it up, probably thinking that I had learned something more notable, so I told her that she knows as much as I do when it comes to her personal life, all I have being some things related to her job that are just a quick search away. So I’m still pretty much where I’ve been all these years, with the same worries and fears, and the same false hopes and dreams that I just have to keep propping up and holding on to, just because I still exist and that’s the only way to… Well, to do that, since I don’t have a better term for it.

In the early hours of June 13, I meant to shave before dinner and possibly go to the toilet one more time before going to bed, but I didn’t do either of those and still ended up eating dinner between 3:50 AM and 4:30 AM, putting peanut butter on all of the slices of bread, and going to bed at 5:30 AM. And my right eye was still bothering me and a part of it was red, which had been the case since I had gotten up that afternoon. But, in spite of that and of the heat, the plan was to do the first part of the last stage of the preparation for this year’s Dream Trek, so I set the alarm to ring at 2 PM and got up when it did, though after waking up around 1:40 PM and feeling the need to pee again but deciding to just stay in bed, I’m not sure whether I managed to fall asleep again just before the alarm rang or I remained awake. Either way, I then had the usual stuff, but the yogurt was that high-protein one received after the half marathon and I also mixed raisins in milk chocolate in it, along with the cereals and the baked almonds with Himalayan salt. I also ate the last slice of the old cozonac from my mother, with added honey, and drank most of the tea. And, since I hadn’t shaved before going to bed, I did that as well, so I left a little after 5:20 PM, wearing the full running gear, with some things in the pocket of my tights, and one armband. The reported temperature was 33°C, and while it was similar when I finished this first run, it seems that it was slightly higher during it, since dad checked for me and the station inside the city reported 35°C at 6 PM.
The time was 1:19:50, with sector times of 4:27, 5:09, 6:01, 4:37, 5:07, 6:02, 4:45, 5:20, 6:07, 4:39, 5:19, 6:09, 4:46, 5:16 and 6:06, making for lap times of 15:37, 15:46, 16:12, 16:07 and 16:08. I did sort of consider trying to stay under 1:18, but it was pretty much impossible under those conditions, and when even on lap one I went over six minutes on sector three and also over that 15:36 that’d be the target lap time for 1:18, I pretty much settled on staying under 1:20. That meant staying well under 16 minutes on lap two as well, which I managed, but I was thinking that I shouldn’t go over 16 minutes on lap three either, and sector one of lap three made that pretty much impossible, and at the end of the lap staying under 1:20 also seemed impossible, because I couldn’t afford to get any slower on the last two laps and that seemed simply out of the question. Still, I tried to push and sector one of lap four gave me a shred of hope, and at the end of the lap I had just a little more… Only to lose most of the time that I could afford to lose on the last lap just on its first sector. But I just gave everything from then on, and after sector two it actually, finally, seemed that I might be able to make it, which I did.
I had considered giving up on the idea of two runs in one day and continuing to a half marathon distance if I’d have failed to stay under 1:20, in which case the plan would have been to do another half marathon run two days later, to cover the same total distance, and that might have been the better option, but at that point I was content with what I had managed, considering the circumstances. But I was also drained and very concerned about the day’s second run… Rightfully so, as it turned out…
The heat was the obvious problem and, while I saw quite a few clouds if I looked up, it mostly remained sunny, the cloud that came just after I started running moving away before I even finished the first sector, and I think that it was only noticeably cloudy again at the end, on sector three of lap five, the few other clouds that came passing quickly, so I tried to make the most of any shade that I could find. And the wind picked up on sectors two and three of lap three, but it felt hot as well, I wouldn’t say that there was any noticeable cooling effect, and I did rather have to fight it. And those new fountains that cover a part of the lake, causing all sorts of other problems as well, also increase the humidity in the air, so instead of having any cooling effect they just make it even worse when it’s hot.
However, parts of the lane were still wet, obviously because the area had been watered and the lane accumulates the water, and even worse was that plenty of spots were damaged, including some that created a risk of tripping, and work had been done in no less than five spots. Four of them were on sector one, two just being small patches that were just marked with bands placed on the lane, but one was part of that area that had been completely closed off before, the lane being cordoned off, though at least the rest of the path wasn’t, and another was in a turn and, instead of just cordoning off the small patch of the lane which had been repaired, they had tied the bands to trees that were on the side with the lake, so on the inside of that turn, meaning that I had to go on the outside. Either way, I remember that I had to step on the grass twice on sector one of lap two, the first time being on that first area where the lane was cordoned off, though whether the second was at that second spot or near the boat dock, I couldn’t say. And there were probably one or two other times when I had to step on the grass on sector one, but I couldn’t really say when. And there was another moment that clearly took place in that second spot where the lane was cordoned off, but I believe that it happened during the second run, and while I’m not entirely certain, I’ll mention it there. And on sector one of lap three I had to slow no less than three times, on one of those occasions needing to maintain that slower pace for several seconds, to stay behind a couple of cyclists who were making their way through other people and then also had to slow because a few other cyclists were coming from the opposite direction and they’d have otherwise met right in that turn where only the outside of the path was usable.
But I’m yet to say anything about the fifth place where work had been done, which was on sector two, and the area had obviously been completely blocked off before, but that day all of the space on either side of the path was blocked and so was the lane, yet the remaining part of the path wasn’t blocked off even though it looked like the concrete had been freshly poured, so on lap one I slowed when I saw what was ahead, then stopped right in front of that area, looked at the edge of the path, trying to figure out whether I could carefully walk on it, quickly decided that I wasn’t going to do that every lap unless I absolutely had to, and then carefully stepped forward with one foot, being relieved when I found that the concrete only appeared fresh, but had actually hardened. So I lost quite a few seconds because of that, meaning that the time for sector two of lap one was actually really good, if you take that into account.
Otherwise, at the end of sector two of lap one, as I passed by a group of kids, one of them spat and I felt some of it on my left hand, and I wear that armband on that arm, so I didn’t exactly want to wipe myself with it or with that hand after that, and that was most notably a problem when some bugs once again got right in my eyes. As for physical issues, other than those caused by the heat, which I definitely felt more and more as I continued, there were some occasional warnings from my right knee in the later part of the run and my legs started to burn at least from sector two of lap five, if not earlier, and they were definitely burning badly on sector three of lap five, so I was pretty much at the limit.

After that first run, I went to the farmers’ market, finding cheap apples again and buying some, and then picking up two cans with the deposit symbol on the way to Park Lake, where I put them in Carrefour’s recycling machine, along with a plastic bottle which another person had discarded because the machine kept refusing it, but for me it accepted it on the first try. Then I put the apples in a cabinet, trying a few before finding one that locked, peed and washed my hands and face, and then I went out again, eating the nice but expired bar which I had taken with me on the way and stopping on a bench after returning to that part of the park to write down the times for the first run and a few notes about the problems, at least as far as I could remember at that point. And then, after using the drinking fountain that’s next to the area that I start running from to wash my hands once again but not daring to also drink, I started the second run of the day. The notes left by dad stated that the reported temperature was 32°C at the time, but it was cloudy, so it felt noticeably cooler. And the temperature probably dropped by a couple of degrees by the time I finished, though I couldn’t actually check.
The time was an utterly dreadful 54:44, with sector times of 4:51, 5:27, 6:22, 4:59, 5:44, 6:39, 5:18, 5:57, 7:08 and 2:19, making for lap times of 16:40, 17:22 and 18:23. And no, I don’t even have the exact total time, only realizing when I reset the time on the stopwatch, at the start of the following run, two days later, that I never bothered to write it down or memorize it. And it might have mattered if I’d have been at least one second less slow, but as it was, it was clearly the slowest ever 10 km run through the park, one second slower than the very first one, which also makes this the first time when the first time I covered any distance through the park except the shortest, 4.1 km, and the longest, 35.2 km, wasn’t also the time when I was the slowest. And that was also my slowest ever lap three, regardless of distance, not counting that time when I had to go over the bridge and cross the street, and even then I was probably only marginally slower, if at all. And the final sector was also the slowest one of a 10 km run by quite some margin, at least as far as I know, since I don’t have that time for that first run. And all of this happened on my 300th run over this distance, as I count them, so including the one that I cut short after three laps, because the stopwatch no longer worked, but not that one that I already mentioned, when I had to go over the bridge and cross the street, which brought the total distance closer to 11 km… So maybe I shouldn’t count either of those and consider it the 299th, to at least avoid marking such a milestone in such a dreadful manner…
And to think that when I started I was wondering whether I could stay under 52 minutes… But after the first sector that was highly doubtful, and after the second I just wondered whether I could complete the first lap in less than the 16:40 that’d be the target lap time for that. And I couldn’t even do that, failing by fractions of a second, so I then wondered about staying under 53 minutes, but that meant averaging less than 17 minutes per lap, since I knew that I was going to go over two minutes on the final sector, and after lap two I was already over that average, being quite shocked by how slow I had been on sectors two and three. So I switched to wondering whether I could at least stay under 54 minutes, but that seemed unlikely right away and after sector one of lap three it was pretty much impossible. 54:30 still seemed likely, however, and while I didn’t remember exactly what my worst time had been when I covered this distance through the park, I was sure that staying under 54:30 would at least be better than it, so that became my target as I just struggled to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and after sector two of lap three I still thought that I might just make it. However, at the end of the lap, after also having to stop for what were probably a couple of seconds, it was clear that managing that was going to require actually running all the way to the end, and as soon as I stepped on the stairs I simply couldn’t do that anymore, barely managing to walk… And then I lost a few more seconds when a guy blocked my way and my legs were simply refusing to take me around him while climbing stairs. So I could only hope that the previous worst time happened to be worse than whatever I was going to manage… And that wasn’t the case. By a mere second and after those stops, but it was nevertheless the worst time.
It was definitely more crowded than on the first run, so I had to weave and go the long way around quite a lot, and I also stepped on one of the damaged parts of the lane from sector one, I believe actually on lap one, though it might have been on lap two, and my right leg bothered me a little more after that. But the notable problems caused by people were just on lap three. What I clearly know is that right at the end of the lap I stopped for up to a couple of seconds, I think because of a kid on a bicycle who blocked my way around the roadblock that had formed, and then, at the start of the final sector, as I was struggling to even walk up the stairs, there was a silly dance with a guy who eventually stopped right in front of me, apologizing but just standing there for a moment longer, neither of us seeming to be able to decide which way to go, and I could barely move anymore, so I lost a few seconds before managing to awkwardly get around him. Otherwise, I clearly remember catching up to two guys right next to one of the cordoned off areas from sector one and having to step on the grass and also go around a pole, and I believe that it happened on sector one of lap three of this run, but I’m not even completely certain that it was on this run and not the first one, as I mentioned earlier. And, while I’m also uncertain, I believe that it was also on lap three of this run and, if so, most likely on sector two, when I had to slow a lot and maybe even briefly stop in order to squeeze through a momentary roadblock. And my legs were getting heavier, the burning sensation got worse and my right knee gave more warnings as I went along, and on sector three of lap three the pressing need really made its presence known, the burning sensation in my legs was really bad and I also felt nauseous.

What’s above this point is how far I got before midnight, but I wanted to only leave adding the part about June 15 for a later time, so I kept writing and before going to the kitchen I edited the post in order to also add this section, about the rest of June 13, starting with the fact that I went back to Park Lake after this second run, picking up two plastic bottles with the deposit symbol on the way and then digging through the bin that’s next to Carrefour’s recycling machine and finding several more, though I couldn’t get the machine to accept most of those, so I added the remaining ones in that cabinet before washing my hands and face once again, also splashing some water on my neck and even on my head, and then entering the store and getting a few things, using both of the vouchers received for previous purchases that I had as well as both of those received for the recyclables with the deposit symbol. Then I retrieved what I had in the cabinet and took a little time to arrange everything, probably being done just before the store closed, since they were just pulling down the gate but there had been no announcement by the time I walked away. And on the way back I quickly checked the nearby Mega Image and when I walked out I saw a very clean bag containing several bottles with the deposit symbol on top of the trash can, so I grabbed it, checking the bottles and pouring out what little was left in them after entering the building, on the mat from the entrance area.
I got back a couple of minutes before 10 PM, and when I weighed myself I saw that I had less than 45 kg… Either way, I then finished the tea and made another, also finished some plum compot, put the few other purchases in the fridge, leaving the apples out, washed a few of the things that were in the kitchen, and went to the bathroom, only leaving very little in the toilet and then washing. A little later I washed the remaining things from the kitchen, including two pots, but not the grill that dad had once again used that day or two other pots, and I had lunch, with a bag of peanut snacks instead of bread, starting before and continuing while I worked on the salad. I even did the day’s squats right after starting to eat lunch, also drank that second tea, and I finally ate dinner between 3:40 AM and 4:45 AM, also writing some notes about the day during that time. And then I had to go to the toilet again, what hadn’t wanted to come out before I washed deciding that it really wanted to do so at that point, so I ended up going to bed at 5:40 AM.

As for the part about June 15, I edited the post once more, Wednesday afternoon, in order to add it, and it starts from the day’s early hours, when I was yet again way too slow in the kitchen, starting to eat dinner at 3:25 AM, once again putting peanut butter on all of the slices of bread, and I checked things on the computer while eating, only finishing at 4:15 AM. I got in bed at 5:20 AM and after a while I kept waking up at ever shorter intervals, but I had set the alarm to ring at 2:30 PM and that’s when I got up, even though by that point I was alternating between sleeping and being awake every few minutes. Then I had the usual stuff, the sweet thing consisted of two pretty nice, albeit recently expired, biscuits, with added honey, and I also drank most of the tea. I left at 6:10 PM, wearing the full running gear, with a few things in the pocket of my tights, and one armband. The reported temperature was about 28°C, holding steady or dropping only marginally by the time I finished.
The time was 1:20:41, with sector times of 4:38, 5:11, 6:00, 4:36, 5:13, 6:06, 4:42, 5:19, 6:12, 4:46, 5:19, 6:21, 4:50, 5:20 and 6:08, making for lap times of 15:49, 15:55, 16:13, 16:26 and 16:18. Considering what had happened two days earlier, my target lap times added up to 1:24, and I definitely wanted to at least avoid a new worst time on yet another distance, so if it looked like I was going to go over that 1:24:06, I meant to continue to a half marathon distance. However, after a first sector that was close enough to the 4:35 that’s the target for a 16-minute lap, I wanted to see whether I’ll manage to stay under 16 minutes on that first lap, so I then pushed harder and made it, even with a safe margin. But that only made me feel more confident that I’ll stay under 1:24, expecting to get much slower towards the end, yet after sector one of lap two I wondered whether I could stay under 16 minutes on that lap as well, once again pushing harder and once again making it. That was finally enough to make me update my target times, but still conservatively, the new ones adding up to 1:23. However, after two sectors of lap three I wondered whether I could keep the average under 16 minutes per lap over the first three laps, and after managing that as well I got somewhat more ambitious, trying to work out whether I could stay under 1:22 and setting my mind on trying. And lap four’s time was good enough to make me think of staying under 1:21, despite a concerning time on sector three. It seemed unlikely, however, and after sector one of lap five I was willing to settle for 1:21:30, but that’d have been frustrating, and I was also thinking of the time lost because of the problems caused by people, so I just pushed, on the last sector in particular, and actually ended up closer to 1:20:30… Which is, of course, still a bad time in itself, but minutes better than I expected under those circumstances.
It was crowded and I briefly stopped at least once on the first sector, and possibly twice, though the second time I might have just slowed a lot as I squeezed through that other roadblock. And, while that first moment when I had to briefly stop was probably the one where I lost the most time, I’m pretty sure that I stopped at least very briefly on sector one of laps two and three as well, and there were various other moments when I had to slow a fair bit or quickly avoid others, some when I hesitated and a few when I had to step off the path, though I was making a mental note of the fact that just about all of those tended to be on the first two sectors of each lap and I was pretty much spared of this on sector three. Not that I didn’t have to weave, go the long way around or squeeze through on that sector as well, but I could do so without having those more notable problems.
Otherwise, while it was obviously not as bad as two days earlier, it was still quite hot, and I was trying to make the most of the shaded areas or any passing cloud. However, despite feeling just exhausted when I started, physically I felt quite fine after that. On the other hand, most of the lane was wet and there were even a few puddles, so it had been watered and the rest of the path had dried but the lane just absorbed the water, and while no more areas were cordoned off or marked, some were still damaged, including some that created quite a risk of tripping, and I stepped in such spots twice, on sector one, though I don’t really remember on which laps, the first being on lap two or three and the second on lap four or five, but I managed to keep my footing and not break or twist anything, which was fortunately also the case when I stepped in holes that are under the lane once or twice, but I really can’t recall when or where that was. And a significant problem caused by the lane was that a pretty long stretch, right on the long straight of sector two, was partially moved aside, to the left, so unless I could stay to the right of the lane I had to be very careful how and where I stepped.

The total time for the three runs was 3:35:15, making this by far the slowest of the three such series of runs, over three minutes slower than last year’s 3:32:07 and close to ten minutes slower than the 3:25:47 from 2022. And the total time for the first two runs was 2:14:34, almost four minutes worse than last year’s 2:10:41 and almost eight minutes worse than the 2:06:39 from 2022.

To continue with the rest of June 15, I got back a little before 8 PM, picking up a plastic bottle with the deposit symbol on the way. Then I just finished the tea, changed, took the recyclables with the deposit symbol which I had gathered, leaving the ones used by dad, and left again at 8:25 PM, going to the nearest Penny… And finding the recycling machine out of order, so I left the recyclables next to the cabinets and bought a few things, then I put the purchases in the backpack, retrieved the recyclables and went to Kaufland, eventually managing to put all of them in the recycling machines, though one filled up after I had just put six in, so I had to wait my turn to use another one for the rest.
When I wanted to wash my hands, I found a cleaner in the men’s, and when I asked whether I could go in she said that I obviously couldn’t, and another guy entered the toilets for disabled people, so for a moment I was worried that I won’t be able to wash my hands there either, but he also just washed his hands, so I did the same after he was done, entering the store a little before 9:30 PM and seeing bakery discounts of 75%, at least for some products. Others had no discount labels at all, however, and the employee was saying that she hadn’t received them and had no idea what the prices were, and she even went to scan a label and the price checker listed the product as unknown, which also happened when I tried to scan one, and the lines that I saw when I meant to use a self-checkout to check made me give up on that idea, just keeping the few buns which I had taken right away, which did have the 75% discount listed, and then moving on to get something for dad and a small bag of bagels for myself. And then I saw that one of the kinds of those treats for Liza still had the previous week’s discounted price on the label, and an employee had just arranged that area, so I took one to a price checker, but the price was the full one, so I put it back and pulled out that label.
With a quarter of an hour left before closing time, I rushed to the fruits and vegetables, ending up digging through the onions, which still had a higher price than I’d care to get onions for despite having something of an evening discount, but it was a better price that they’ve been having for quite some time, so I got some, and five minutes before closing time I meant to look for a good and ripe banana, even if those just had the regular discount, but a guard came to ask me to hurry up and I ended up grabbing a green one that didn’t look very good and a ripe one that was starting to spoil, just hurrying out of there… And, after the first scales that I tried to use for the bananas didn’t print the label, the second kept varying the weight. I eventually got a label from it, but the self-checkout machine didn’t recognize the bananas as the correct product and I called over an employee, who just logged on to override the error, confirming it when I asked whether the weight was different but not correcting it. And I hadn’t calculated the total, and was also surprised to see that the additional 10% discount applied to what I had purchased for dad, the total ending up a mere 0.01 RON less than the value of the second voucher received for the recyclables, and I didn’t try to see what happened if I tried to use it, so I just used the first one, and then didn’t even think to cash in that second one, leaving it for later. Either way, after arranging some of the other purchases, I weighed the bananas on the scales that are next to the recycling bins and they weighed almost 20% more than what I had paid for, so those scales had malfunctioned in a nice way!
After arranging the purchases properly, I washed my hands again and then also checked the Mega Image that closes at 11 PM, entering with everything and getting an apple pastry, with the evening discount, after taking one of the very narrow bags that were all that they had left in that location, moving the buns to it, and then using the bag from Kaufland for the pastry, which I then added in the bag that hangs from my neck. And then I also checked the non-stop Mega Image, putting just that bag in a cabinet, without locking, since I didn’t have any more 0.50 RON coins, entering with the backpack, and getting one of those breads that I can get for myself from there, also with the evening discount. And there were no bags whatsoever left in that location, but a baguette was in a bag, so I slid it out of it and struggled to fit that bread in that bag. Then I retrieved my bag from the cabinet, added the bread in it, grabbed some more recyclables with the deposit symbol, and made my way back, an odd moment being when I heard a guy running behind me, and when I turned to look he stopped and turned around.
I got back at or just before 11:25 PM, since I didn’t check the time just then, made another tea, ate a banana and lunch, even did the day’s squats, put the purchases in their place, and went to wash a couple of minutes after 1 AM. I went back to the kitchen at 1:55 AM, ate the apple pastry, dealt with my bread, also ate some peanuts with pepper and drank the second tea while working on the salad, putting the last few peanuts in the salad, and started eating dinner at 4 AM, but I also struggled for a long time to get Emsisoft Anti-Malware (EAM) to update, wrote the notes about the day as well, and after spending quite some time gathering the seeds from the plate, it was past 5:15 AM when I finished eating.

I got in bed at 6:20 AM, but I couldn’t sleep, maybe falling asleep for just a moment when dad settled down after getting back but waking up moments later, coughing and feeling like I had choked, so after tossing and turning for quite a while longer I got back on the computer a few minutes before 8 AM, only getting back in bed at 10:50 AM and getting some three hours of sleep before getting up. And that night, after finally washing two large pots which had been in the sink for some time and also making sure that Liza ate the food that dad had given her and then left in the kitchen, so he won’t end up saying that it had been in the heat for too long and had spoiled, I ended up eating dinner between 3:25 AM and 4 AM. And then, thinking that updates are lighter on Sundays and it should therefore be easier to do one more and then possibly leave it without any more updates for a few days, to get a new uptime record and then reboot, I once again struggled to update EAM… Only for it to ask for a reboot once it did complete the update, and the uptime was just 107 days. But I still wanted a new record, so I held off rebooting until I got it. But, to return to that day, I got in bed at 5:30 AM.

While pointing out various ways in which other species exhibit a certain level of intelligence, the author doesn’t try to claim that any of them can compare to humans from this point of view, only arguing that we should accept that, in some way, they possess intelligence and, notably, consciousness, and that more developed intelligence would be better described as broader rather than higher. But, more than that, the book emphasizes how humans misuse or fail to use their extraordinary intelligence, realizing far less than what would be the true potential to do good and causing and justifying immense harm and suffering to themselves, each other, and even more so to the other species and the ecosystem.
However, while I agree that the least intelligent and least complex species have the most success in terms of mere survival, reproduction and obtaining pleasure in the present, that humans generally misuse their intelligence, and that greater intelligence is generally associated with worse mental health problems and tends to have less to do with success than plain luck, I definitely disagree with the conclusion that we’d be better off with far less of it. I mean, rocks exist for eons, bacteria thrive; evolution, and life in general, has no point if it doesn’t go beyond survival, if it doesn’t reach a level where it can analyze and create, improve its condition and that of the world. But the author offers no solutions to the raised problems, even stating at the end that he never intended to… And arguing that, because life on Earth will eventually be wiped out by the Sun, the only objective measure of a species’ success is maximizing present pleasure, while I’d see it as proof that the true measure of success would be escaping such a fate, which requires far more developed and better used intelligence. And even this edition’s translator added notes that, beyond the typical clarifications, also point out and express frustration with the author’s incorrect use of certain terms or, on a couple of occasions, criticize more directly, pointing out flaws in the logic or arguments.

Rating: 3/5

In the early hours of May 23, I ate dinner between 3:15 AM and 4:10 AM, and then I also shaved, getting in bed at 5:20 AM. But I wanted to run in the evening, so there was no reason to set the alarm, and while I woke up when dad left, which was probably only a few minutes after 2 PM, since after a little while I checked the time and saw 2:14 PM, I decided to try to sleep a little longer, only getting up when it was almost 3:25 PM, though I probably only caught a short nap during that time. Then I had the usual stuff, the yogurt being a bio (organic) “Greek” one with 10% fat and 5.5% protein, and the sweet thing consisted of some nice biscuits, with added honey. And then dad got back and brought some things and we talked a little, so I left at 6:25 PM, wearing the full running gear. The reported temperature was 22°C, and about 21°C when I finished.
The time was 47:22.26, with sector times of 4:26.54, 5:01 (5:00.84), 5:49 (5:48.85), 4:33.03, 4:57.41, 5:47.31, 4:31 (4:30.06), 4:50.87, 5:42 (5:41.47) and 1:46 (1:45.88), making for lap times of 15:16.23, 15:17.75 and 15:03 (15:02.40). I aimed to stay under 48 minutes, but when I found that work was being done at the start of the long straight of sector one and I had to make a detour, I pretty much gave up on that thought. However, the first sector’s time wasn’t as bad as I feared, so I then meant to at least stay under 15:20 on that first lap, pushed harder and made it. And then I kept pushing, just giving everything despite being sure that I was going to get slower, doing my best to make up for the loss of time caused by that detour and actually managing it, so after lap two I knew that I had a chance to stay under 48 minutes after all. It was far from certain, however, so from sector two of lap three I pushed even harder, and those great times definitely showed it, so after the end of the lap the target became to get under 47:30 as well, which I managed by quite a margin. I have no idea exactly how much time I lost because of that detour, but I’d have quite clearly beaten the time from the morning run without it, and even squeezing under 47 minutes wouldn’t have been out of the question. Then again, I wouldn’t have pushed that hard if I wouldn’t have been trying to make up for that loss of time, so it’s all purely theoretical.
Obviously, the big problem was just what I feared after the previous run, which was that work was being done right at the start of the long straight of sector one, so that area was completely closed off and I had to go well off the path, behind that small building that’s there, which also means a bit of a climb, and a part of that area was also muddy, making it even more of a problem. On the other hand, while some event was once again taking place at the stage, it seemed to have to do with some ethnic minority and not many people attended, so it hardly affected me at all, and in fact I wouldn’t say that there were any other notable problems at all, except perhaps on sector one of lap three, when I hesitated once or twice, the first time being because of a misunderstanding with some kids who were on bicycles. And, of course, there were the damaged parts of the lane, plus a few areas that were rather wet, and a pretty normal amount of weaving and going the long way around because of other people, but that was it, and physically I felt just fine, the only issue being that I felt the need to snap my back at some point, but I just pushed through it and after a little while I no longer noticed it. And the weather didn’t cause any problems either.

I got back just after 7:35 PM, ate something to count as lunch, did the day’s squats, changed, albeit leaving the running t-shirt on, and left again at 8:45 PM, but I first went to pay the previous month’s maintenance bill, after also giving dad the money to pay for the internet and his phone, since he had apparently suddenly realized that those were due… And he came back with some food that he had just felt like getting, once again saying that he won’t just eat what’s on sale and that it’d be crazy to not eat what he wants in order to pay “who knows what”, referring to the bills… But at least one of us has to be a responsible adult when it comes to such matters… Either way, after paying that bill, I came back to drop off the receipt and grab the recyclables with the deposit symbol, except those two that I knew weren’t going to be accepted, and actually left a little after 8:50 PM.
After grabbing two more recyclables with the deposit symbol on the way to Kaufland, I used the recycling machine, then washed my hands and entered the store a little after 9:20 PM, going straight to the bakery area and just grabbing two regular buns, since no other cheap ones were left. Then, when the employee asked whether she could help me with anything while I was looking, I asked about the sweet pastries and she pointed me to what was left, which didn’t include anything that I was interested in, and then I also asked about the bread that didn’t have a discount label, and she said that it wasn’t discounted. However, after going to a price checker to check the ingredients of some other buns, I took that price label and scanned it, seeing that the 50% discount applied to that bread as well, so I took one, letting the employee know as well, and then I decided to also take one bun of another kind. Then I took quite a lot of oranges, which had a good evening discount, and at the self-checkout the paper roll finished as my receipt was being printed, so I had to call an employee to put in a new one, but the closing announcement still came just after I had walked out of the checkout area.
After putting the oranges in the backpack and grabbing another plastic bottle with the deposit symbol from the parking lot, I went to the Mega Image that closes at 11 PM and meant to put that bottle and the bag that hangs from my neck in a cabinet, but it wouldn’t lock, and all the others seemed to be in use, so I eventually entered with everything, put on a glove and took the two apple pastries that were left. I meant to use the recycling machine for that bottle before getting in line, but it was out of order, so I just bought the pastries, confirming that the 50% discount applied, then picked up a few more recyclables with the deposit symbol on the way back.
I got back a little after 10:50 PM, ate the remaining banana, cleaned the litter box and went to drop a bag of trash down the chute, washed what was in the kitchen, put the oranges and one of the apple pastries in the fridge, ate the other apple pastry and a bag of peanut snacks, and it was 12:25 AM when I went to wash. I was done at 1:15 AM, but then I arranged a few things in my room, washed a few more things which had appeared in the kitchen, got the grease out of the grill that dad had used and cleaned it to some extent, which took a while, put the buns in the fridge as well, and finally ate dinner between 4:30 AM and 5:30 AM, getting in bed at 6:20 AM. And the following two nights I ended up eating dinner between 3:25 AM and 4:05 AM and getting in bed at 5:20 AM, the first time after also dealing with my bread and the second after finally washing the second part of the glass baking tray, which had been sitting in the sink for an awfully long time.

On the morning of May 27, I got in bed at 5:30 AM, after waiting for dad to get back. And after getting up I kept wondering whether to run the following day or not, since the plan was to cover a half marathon distance, the weather forecast wasn’t looking good and I really didn’t want to find that area still fenced off, but there didn’t seem to be any day with good conditions that week, and there were other reasons to not want to leave it for later as well. So, after checking the forecast one more time in the early moments of May 28, I decided to go for it, so I put peanut butter on all of the slices of bread when I ate dinner, between 3:25 AM and 4 AM. I got in bed at 5:25 AM… And, after somehow sleeping through dad leaving in the morning, at 10:40 AM I was woken up by a call, for a poll about the local elections. But I did manage to get back to sleep, and got up when the alarm rang, at 2:30 PM. Then I had the usual stuff, the yogurt being another bio (organic) “Greek” one with 10% fat and 5.5% protein, which still seemed fine even if it had expired six days earlier, but I also mixed raisins in milk chocolate in it, along with the cereals and baked almonds with Himalayan salt, and another sweet thing consisted of two nice biscuits, with added honey. It had rained, but the clouds were clearing when I left, a little after 5:15 PM, wearing the full running gear and one armband, and the reported temperature was about 21°C, more or less holding steady, since it was 21-22°C at 7 PM, though it might have been a little warmer at some point, since it had been pretty sunny for a while before getting cloudy again towards the end of the run.
The time was 1:43:49, with sector times of 4:25, 5:04, 5:56, 4:30, 5:04, 5:51, 4:32, 5:04, 5:57, 4:35, 5:11, 6:00, 4:35, 5:13, 6:10, 4:39, 5:15, 6:08, 1:51, 5:55 and 1:54, making for lap times of 15:25, 15:25, 15:33, 15:46, 15:58 and 16:02, plus 9:40 for that final portion. I didn’t even think about getting under 1:45 at first, but I ended up doing so for the first time in almost exactly one year, and obtaining the best time over this distance since a month and a half before that. But I just went for it, and I thought that my pace had been more controlled on the first sector, so the time seemed better than expected, which was also the case for sector two, and after the end of the lap I wondered how long I’ll manage to keep that up. And I did keep it up on lap two as well, and lap three wasn’t that far either. But over the course of those laps I kept thinking that they didn’t matter, what was important being having a sustainable pace on the next two and then pushing through the sixth and that final portion, so I only started calculating after lap four, at which point I realized that I had a good chance to stay under 1:45 after all, and even wondered whether I’ll stay under 16 minutes on each lap. When I managed that on lap five as well, even if by such a slim margin, I realized that also managing it on lap six even gave me a chance to stay under 1:44, though losing a little time because of people on sector one of lap six made me think that I might just miss that target by those few seconds. But those seconds only caused me to miss staying under 16 minutes on that lap as well, and while getting under 1:44 required an outstanding final portion, I really gave everything on it, being surprised by each sector time, obtaining a new personal best on it, and managing to stay under 1:44 by a safe margin.
There was some wind to fight against on sector three of lap six and on sector two of the final portion, and when it was sunny it was feeling too hot already, so I was relieved when it got cloudy again, which happened no later than on lap six, possibly even starting at some point on lap five. But what was probably even more of a relief was that the work from that small area was over, though it was still scraped, so I had to step carefully, and there were of course other damaged parts of the lane, and much of it was rather wet, albeit not badly, the rain having been light. And bugs kept getting in my eyes… In my ears as well, but that wasn’t that much of a problem, while the first time I really noticed them getting in my eyes, on sector two of lap three, I struggled for a while to get them out, though the few other times it happened after that I tried to more or less just deal with it. And I also just dealt with the signs of a pressing need that appeared on sector one of lap two and sectors one and three of lap three. I guess that it returned later as well, but I didn’t really pay attention anymore and it wasn’t bad enough to force me to. On the other hand, my right knee gave some warnings at some point on lap three, which faded for a while before returning on lap five, when the ankle joined the knee, and what I felt on lap six went past what I consider to be mere warnings, and I definitely also felt a little pain in the spot where I hurt myself when I tripped on that escalator, back in November. So my right leg wasn’t doing well, but it held. And I knew before the run that I was likely to have a problem with that toenail that tends to jab the toe that’s next to it, and I did feel it as I ran, and after I got back I saw the blood.
As for the problems caused by people, for quite some time it was just a matter of sometimes weaving or going the long way around, but then it did get somewhat more crowded, starting when I hesitated and slowed quite a lot in order to squeeze through a roadblock, on sector three of lap four. Or at least I think that it was on lap four, but it might have been on lap five, in which case the time when I briefly stopped because of another roadblock was definitely on sector three of lap six, since I’m certain that one of those problems was on sector three of lap five. Either way, it was certainly on sector one of lap six when I briefly stopped twice because of kids that got in my way, the first one riding a tricycle and with his father holding on to him, but right on the lane and when all of the space around the lane was blocked by other people, and the second being a little girl who just wandered off right in front of me.

After getting back, I ate an apple pastry, changed, albeit leaving the running t-shirt on, and left again at 8:30 PM, with the recyclables with the deposit symbol. My initial plan was different, but dad insisted that I must not buy anything else for him because we had so little money, since he had received only about half of his normal salary in May, even if the day to day purchases make up only a small part of the expenses and when I make them we both gain, because I can also feel justified to get some “rewards” for myself and the total amount is still less than what he’d spend if he’d buy those or similar products himself from other stores, and it also means that he’s less likely to make more unplanned purchases, so doing things his way means that we both lose and only the stores gain. But that was that, so I gave up on the idea of going to Auchan or Penny and therefore ended up going in the other direction.
I first checked Carrefour, but I didn’t want to use the recycling machine from there, so I put the recyclables in a cabinet and then just retrieved them, grabbed two more as I left that mall, and used the recycling machine from Kaufland… Which stopped after the first six, and no employee was around, so I then washed my hands, dashing to the women’s for soap, and entered the store with the remaining recyclables, not bothering to look for a cabinet to put them in once again. It was almost 9:10 PM at that point, and what was strange was that I couldn’t see any paper bags in the bakery area, but at least plastic bags were available and I put a few buns and a sweet pastry in one. Then I grabbed a pack of deeply discounted, spoiling, bio (organic) tomatoes, deciding that most of them were usable, but there was plenty of foul liquid in that pack and it was leaking, so after sort of letting it drip on the floor for a while I opened the pack and poured as much of it as I could into a flowerpot that had some sapling in it, then grabbed another one of those plastic bags from the bakery area, which are sturdier and which they don’t charge for, and put the pack in it… At which point I also noticed a few paper bags, placed on top of some boxes that were in front of that area. Either way, the green onions were deeply discounted and I spotted one last bundle behind the crates, taking that as well, and near the self-checkouts I found some deeply discounted germinated wheat that I guess someone had discarded, so I took one box and returned the rest to their proper place. Then I had to call an employee to override the error when the self-checkout machine didn’t accept those tomatoes as the correct product, but the fact that I couldn’t put in all of the recyclables meant that I could use that voucher when I paid, and I was arranging everything in the backpack when the closing announcement came.
That still left me with that bag of recyclables, which I meant to put in the machine from that Mega Image, but when I got there I saw that it wasn’t working either, and a note posted on it stated that, in order to respect the regulations regarding the quiet hours, the recycling machines are turned off between 10 PM and 8 AM. So I entered the store with everything and then just left again, not finding anything to get… Or more exactly deciding against getting anything, since two of those apple pastries were left and the evening discount should have applied, but I wasn’t going to count something like that as being purchased with “my” money, had already gotten a sweet pastry from Kaufland, and didn’t feel that I had any right to “reward” myself in that manner if I hadn’t gotten anything for dad. So I just made my way back, picking up two more recyclables with the deposit symbol and passing on a third, since it seemed to have some napkins or tissues in it and there were also some guys nearby and looking in that direction. And I ended up coming back with all of those recyclables, despite also checking the nearby Mega Image, since the recycling machine was off there as well, with the same note posted on it, even though this store doesn’t have apartments around it, unlike that other one, which is at the ground floor of what’s otherwise an apartment building.
I got back around 10:50 PM, though I didn’t check the time just then. Either way, after selecting the good tomatoes from that pack and cleaning the litter box, I went to drop a bag of trash down the chute… And found a bag with other bags and plenty of plastic bottles in it, and after looking through them I found five that did have the deposit symbol, so I took them. Then I ate an orange and lunch, with an entire large bag of corn puffs instead of bread, put the few other purchases, except the tomatoes, in their place, washed some of what was in the kitchen, and went to the bathroom, to use the toilet, even do the day’s squats, and then wash, when it was almost 1:10 AM. I got back in the kitchen at 2:20 AM, washed the remaining things and cleaned a little, and finally ate dinner between 4:10 AM and 5:15 AM, taking it easy. I got in bed at 6:10 AM. And there were no visits recorded that day.

Actually, there were no visits recorded on June 5 either, so if I’m to start with the early hours of June 6, I could start with the fact that I saw that. Then I watered the flowers and dealt with the last bread which I had purchased a few days earlier, which took quite a while because of its shape and size, and then I took all of my bread out of the freezer in order to find a way to fit all three of them in there, since I had dealt with the other two the night before and had placed them in bags but had left them out. So I only ate dinner between 3:35 AM and 4:20 AM… And I noticed that I once again had a blister under my tongue, still on the left side, though it went away by the time I got up. Either way, I got in bed at 5:20 AM and got up when the alarm rang, at 2 PM. Then I had the usual stuff, the yogurt being exactly like the one eaten before the previous run, a bio (organic) “Greek” one with 10% fat and 5.5% protein which still seemed good despite having expired six days earlier, and for the sweet thing I added honey on two somewhat nicer biscuits which had also expired, so I decided to finish those before the ones which I had been using the previous two times. And I left a little after 4:40 PM, wearing the full running gear and one armband. The reported temperature varied between 29°C and 33°C, depending on the source, so let’s say that it was about 31°C, pretty much settling at that value by the time I finished, so let’s say that it held steady.
The time was 47:27.92, with sector times of 4:20.51, 4:53.28, 5:41 (5:40.32), 4:24 (4:23.94), 4:57.31, 5:50 (5:49.81), 4:32.19, 5:03.50, 5:57 (5:56.96) and 1:50.10, making for lap times of 14:54.11, 15:11.06 and 15:32.65. Considering the heat, I was thinking that I was just aiming to stay under 50 minutes and didn’t want to push too hard from the beginning, so I was thinking that if I won’t go over 4:30 on the first sector it will be a good sign and that 4:20 was a nice surprise, making me wonder whether I might just manage to squeeze under that 15:20 that’s the target lap time for staying under 48 minutes on the first lap. So, yes, I pushed more on sector two, but that time was so shocking that I checked multiple times, to make sure that I had seen it properly… And then I obviously maintained that pace even though I wasn’t feeling like I was giving everything, so I was once again very pleasantly surprised at the end of the lap, which ended up being the fastest one since November, and in fact it was also in November, on the next run after that one with the faster lap, when I last covered a lap in less than 15 minutes. So it looked like I might stay under 48 minutes after all, but the heat made it far from certain, so I took it sector by sector, continuing to be pleased with the times and, after lap two, thinking that I might squeeze under 47:30 as well. It wasn’t going to be easy and after sector one of lap three I was starting to doubt it, and beating that 47:22 from the previous run over this distance was quite clearly out of the question, but I pushed and made it, despite losing time right at the end of lap three, that crowd also causing me to accidentally press the button earlier, so I pressed it again some two seconds later, possibly just after stepping over that line that I consider to be the end of a lap, but the seconds are definitely correct.
It was hot, but it wasn’t as much of a problem as I feared, though the larger cloud that offered shade while I covered a part of sector three of lap three was pretty nice. Then again, I guess I felt particularly well that day, and the only physical problem was that the fact that I hadn’t left everything in the toilet made itself known from sector two of lap three, and that was late enough to be pretty much all right. Otherwise, there were the damaged parts of the lane to avoid, some of them creating quite a risk of tripping, and that small scraped area, which was still like that. And, other than having to occasionally weave and go the long way around, the only notable problems caused by people were a roadblock on sector one of lap two, causing me to slow and take a step on the grass, and that more serious one that was right at the end of lap three, created by a pretty large group of people wearing a party’s t-shirts. Picking my way through them cost me at least a couple of seconds, and I already mentioned that it also caused me to initially press the button on the stopwatch too soon, though I then pressed it again, more or less at the right time, the time that I listed for sector three of lap three obviously taking into account what was displayed this second time.

I took off my t-shirt after entering the building, before getting to the door, trying to shake those little bugs off it… And a woman came down the stairs. When I heard her getting out of the apartment and taking the stairs, I wondered whether I had enough time to put the t-shirt back on or get in, deciding to try to get in, but there was no way I could unlock the door before she got here, so I just ignored her and that was that. Then I ate a banana and lunch, drank the tea and made another, changed, and left again a little after 7:40 PM, with the recyclables with the deposit symbol, except those two that weren’t accepted by the machines. And I found one more recyclable with the deposit symbol on the way to Carrefour and two more next to the recycling machine from there, and while one of them wasn’t accepted, the other eventually was, even if it was one of those with the small bar code that the recycling machines from Carrefour don’t usually accept. However, I couldn’t get it to accept the identical bottle that I already had, and it also firmly refused a can. So I entered the store with the remaining recyclables and got some garlic and potatoes, Romanian vegetables being among the product categories that they were offering vouchers with 30% of the value for those days. And at the self-checkout I used the voucher received for the previous purchases and the one received for the recyclables, then I arranged the purchases in the backpack.
Since I was going to pass by the farmers’ market on the way to Kaufland anyway, the closing time is listed as 9 PM and I got there about ten minutes earlier, I once again wanted to see whether I could get more cheap apples from that woman… But the gate was closed, so I just continued to Kaufland, grabbing a few more recyclables with the deposit symbol on the way, including a crushed one that I picked up from Kaufland’s parking lot and then tried to straighten a little before getting to the recycling machines. But two of the four machines were off and a third seemed to be having problems accepting the recyclables, and a guy who had many decided against using it when it was freed, waiting behind the person who was using the other one instead and telling me why when I asked whether he was going to it. So I tried to use it… And just ended up confirming what he had said, since it only accepted one of my recyclables. So I then waited to use the other one, after that guy was done, and it accepted most of the rest, the only ones left being the can which hadn’t been accepted at Carrefour either and, unsurprisingly, that crushed one.
After putting those remaining recyclables in a cabinet, I washed my hands, once again dashing to the women’s for soap, and entered the store at 9:15 PM. And the bakery discounts were, interestingly, 51%, but there were just a few buns that I could get, plus two regular breads for dad, after which I grabbed some deeply discounted, spoiling, mushrooms, made use of the evening discounts for radishes, carrots, and a few peppers for dad, and on the way to the self-checkouts I also grabbed a pack of cornmeal. The machine didn’t accept the radishes as the correct product, but an employee was there and immediately logged on to override the error, yet when it also didn’t accept the buns I had to hold my hand up for quite a while before another employee came to override that error as well. And then, while the voucher printed by the second recycling machine was scanned, I had to enter the one from that first one manually. Then I arranged the purchases, checking the time when I started and seeing 10:01 PM, but the closing announcement only came when I was just about done. However, I forgot about those recyclables from the cabinet, only realizing it when I walked out of the parking lot, so I ran back and retrieved them, fortunately finding that other customers were still walking out, so I could use the doors that opened for them in order to get back in, since after closing time they normally only open for those who want to exit. Either way, it was almost 10:10 PM when I walked out the second time.
I got back at 10:35 PM, with 11 kg. Then I tried to straighten that plastic bottle a little better, put most of the purchases in their place, and went to the toilet and to wash, only eating a slice of the already quite old cozonac from my mother after getting back to the kitchen, putting the remaining purchases in their place and starting to work on dinner, which I ate between 4 AM and 4:55 AM. And I got in bed at 5:45 AM.

I’ll also mention here that the following evening I meant to time my squats during the national team’s embarrassing friendly match, but there was a replay just when I was done, so the timer was not on the screen and I therefore may be a second off when I say that I probably did them in 2:04. And then I made mamaliga and ate in the kitchen, to manage to stick to the dinner schedule. And the following day, which was another one with no recorded visits, I pushed to read 300 pages and finish the book which I had purchased from Bookfest, also posting the quick review, though after eating at night I made a few changes and also translated it, posting the versions on Goodreads and The StoryGraph at that point, in both languages.

In December of 2010 and January of 2011, I had a series of posts with this title, so I’m using it again now, after the plea deal that led to Julian Assange’s release seems to end the saga, suddenly and with a whimper. Of course, it remains to be seen what will happen to him from now on, not because I’d think that taking him out is still something that’s formally taken into consideration at high levels, but to some extent because there may be some individuals who’d still be sufficiently determined to retaliate on their own and mainly because his health, both physical and mental, has been deteriorating and readjusting to a “normal” life, and to family life, will certainly prove difficult in itself.
On the other hand, the sad truth is that the deal has bad consequences for press freedom, since pleading guilty of espionage for acts of journalism, and doing so in the United States, sends a chilling message throughout the world. So it might be a typical compromise when it comes to the two parties involved, an outcome that neither is happy with but both find less revolting than the alternatives, but it can be seen as Assange betraying the cause that he was supposed to stand for. After many increasingly difficult years and at a point when not doing so would have likely meant actually risking his life, but nevertheless doing it for his own benefit in the end.
Then again, there always was every indication that Assange, as a person, was a problem, and after he got in real trouble, whether directly related to the releases or not, he tried to use every trick to obtain some relative safety for himself all along, which puts him closer to Edward Snowden, who didn’t just end up fleeing to Russia but by now went as far as to pledge allegiance and obtain Russian citizenship, which can easily be said to be a betrayal of everything he claimed to stand for. On the other hand, you have Chelsea Manning, formerly Bradley Manning, who may be considered the most notable whistleblower, especially when it comes to this entire saga, and who owned up to it, did the time in terrible conditions that clearly amounted to torture, even attempted suicide, and after being released even ended up back in prison for refusing to testify against Assange, despite having a poor opinion of him, of his leadership and influence.
Since I got to Chelsea, I just have to say that, if anyone would have been awarded the position of being the public face, the flagbearer, of whistleblowing, of free access to information, of holding authorities to account on the basis of such information, it should have been her. She acted on the basis of her principles and stood by them, showed courage and determination… And also strikes me as a much better person in general, after reading something like an interview from The Guardian that went deeper. And the fact that she has now moved past all of that doesn’t change things, quite the contrary, those who deserve such positions generally being those who don’t want them…
But the fact remains that this is another situation where that position wasn’t awarded, but taken, so Julian Assange has it, which was once again proved by the amount of media attention that this development has received. So, even if pleading guilty is different from being found guilty in the sense that it doesn’t actually set a legal precedent, the consequences of his plea deal will have a far greater impact than the sentences received by Chelsea Manning or anyone else, and the same is likely to be true for what he’ll do and what will happen to him from now on. If he will somehow leave it all behind, maybe someone else, and most preferably someone more deserving, will eventually pick up that banner and a new set of consequences will emerge from that, but until and unless that happens, this may be the end of this particular saga, but the ripples left in its wake may well turn into dangerous waves.