Cav's Place

It’s good to be wrong sometimes, and this was one of those moments, since I had misgivings about what the James Webb Space Telescope will be capable of and yet the first images, starting with the one that was released early, yesterday, definitely delivered. I mean, assuming that it was going to finally make it past all the problems and obstacles, it did seem that it was going to be an extraordinary tool for scientists, at least as long as it will start and then continue to operate as intended. However, such a flagship mission, with such an immense budget, is sadly required to generate great media and public interest in order to have a future, regardless of its scientific value, and it’s its capacity to produce the “eye candy” that’s responsible for generating such interest that I had doubts about.
Well, it does appear that I shouldn’t have worried, because these images are just what would be expected from Hubble‘s successor. Whether they’re enough to make humanity start looking up once again at a time when we’re stumbling and looking down at our feet probably more than at any point for at least the past several decades, I don’t know, but it is just about as much as anyone could have asked of it, and of the team. Now I can only hope that no problems will appear and it’ll continue to function at full capacity for many, many years to come, seeing as, unlike Hubble, it won’t have the benefit of maintenance and repair missions, or at least not in the foreseeable future, considering our current level of technology.

I ran again on June 15, getting up after the alarm rang, at 2 PM, though I’m not sure how much I slept after getting up to pee just after 11:30 AM, since I then fed Micky a little and waited for her to eat, then kept trying to find a more comfortable position after getting back in bed, since my back was rather hurting, and then dad got up, and there were also periods when I seemed to be in between asleep and awake. Either way, I had the usual stuff plus almonds, but with a sweet pastry as the sweet thing, and left at 4:20 PM, wearing the full running gear, with a few things in the pocket of my tights. The reported temperature was 23-24°C, holding steady.
The time was 47:40.04, with sector times of 4:27.85, 5:03 (5:02.44), 5:55.56, 4:31 (4:30.70), 5:03 (5:02.96), 5:54 (5:53.56), 4:24.66, 4:57 (4:56.78), 5:37 (5:36.94) and 1:49 (1:48.59), making for lap times of 15:25.85, 15:28 (15:27.22) and 14:58.38. After a poor first sector and a first lap that was definitely not good enough, I was thinking that I had to give up on my initial goal of staying under 48 minutes and settle for 48:30 at best, but after lap two I wondered whether I could push hard enough to just make it and went for it, the good sector one of lap three giving me some hope. It wasn’t enough, however, so I gave it everything from sector two and then pushed even harder on sector three, thinking that I’ll keep it up as long as possible and hoping for that 5:50 that I thought I needed… Only to surprise myself by managing to maintain that pace all the way to the end of the lap and therefore be much faster. And then the final sector was also very good, even though that wasn’t needed anymore.
There were plenty of people, so I had to weave and go the long way around and squeeze through, but on the couple of occasions when I might have run into someone I managed to avoid it in time, and only had to briefly stop once, on the very first sector, because of a large group of boys. Otherwise, I felt tired at first and took it easier on the first sector, starting to push after seeing how slow I had been. That led to warnings from various parts of my legs, but after a while it started getting better. There were more warnings from my legs on sector three of lap three, when I was pushing so hard, and a certain pressing need had actually started to appear from the start of lap three, but the physical issues never got too bad… And knowing how to hold my ankles also meant avoiding a potential injury, since the lane was still soaked and muddy in some areas, after the previous day’s storm, and my left foot really sank in it in one spot, on sector three of lap one. So I was more careful to avoid the wet areas after that, which probably meant losing a little time. On the other hand, it helped that it got cloudy again on lap three.
After the run, I jogged to Carrefour and back, grabbing some more food for Micky. And that was what I really wanted to get that day, so I then decided against going out again, showering earlier and then reading some more before making mamaliga again in the evening.

Moving on to the early hours of June 20, I started eating dinner at 3:05 AM, albeit after licking a fair bit of what I mixed and moved in the kitchen a little earlier, and finished at 3:50 AM. And all of the cucumbers in the salad led to peeing four times until I got up for good, though I’m not sure how many of those times I actually woke up because of the need to pee, since the first time was after dad got back and even started cooking himself something, and he also left the light in the small bathroom on and, while not saying anything when I passed by him, I gathered that he meant to make me see that, in his view, the litter box supposedly needed to be cleaned, even though it unquestionably did not in mine. So I turned that light off after I woke up the second time, at which point I also heard noise coming from the neighbors, which made me think that, even though I hadn’t realized it at first, noise might have yet again been the reason for waking up. And then I had bad dreams, waking up multiple times and only going to pee on two of the occasions, and after the last one, when I saw 1:08 PM when I got up, the neighbors started drilling as well, so I might have just caught a moment’s nap between two “rounds” but eventually, just before 1:40 AM, I decided to get up and turn off the alarm, which was set to ring at 2 PM. Then I did clean the litter box, to limit the argument that was coming when dad also got up, had the usual stuff plus almonds, with some regular biscuits, with added honey, as the sweet thing, and left at 4:15 PM, wearing the full running gear. The reported temperature was 30°C, holding steady.
The time was a great 1:16:47, with sector times of 4:18, 5:00, 5:50, 4:23, 4:59, 5:46, 4:33, 5:07, 5:50, 4:28, 5:03, 5:58, 4:33, 5:07 and 5:52, making for lap times of 15:08, 15:08, 15:30, 15:29 and 15:32. At first I was thinking that, at 30°C, I’ll be happy to stay under 1:20, but the first sector was faster than I thought and so were the next two and the lap, and then the same thing happened on lap two, so on lap three I was thinking that if I’ll somehow manage to avoid losing time compared to the 1:18 pace on that lap as well, despite stopping for five seconds at the start of it, I will aim to stay under 1:18. So I then did just that, and kept pushing and managed to gain time on lap four as well. And then, despite feeling broken by the heat towards the end of that lap and allowing for a slow lap five if needed, I started thinking of staying under 1:17, and even of staying under the target for 1:18, which is 15:36, on every lap, and actually managed it.
I had to briefly stop on the first sector, because of cyclists, and my stopwatch also slipped then, since I had left it looser after no longer bothering with a bandage and using only one of the armbands to protect that burn from being rubbed by it. But it obviously ended up being too loose, so at that point I just pushed it back, doing so again, preventively, a few more times during that lap, before finally pulling it tighter at the start of lap two. That probably caused me to slow a little, but I didn’t need to stop. I did, however, stop for a good five seconds at the start of lap three, since my left ankle was getting scraped and, while the shoe was most likely the reason why, I wanted to move any possible dirt from that spot, this proving to be a good “investment” even though the discomfort returned quickly at first, since by lap four it was much better and it stayed like that until the end. Otherwise, there were a few more occasions when I had to squeeze through and maybe slow a little, because of people but also, twice, because of ducks getting in my way, and I also had to briefly stop twice more, once on sector two of lap three, to avoid two kids, and once on sector three of lap four, because a girl on a bicycle seemed to become unsteady and turned towards me. As for physical issues, there were some occasional warnings from the right knee, but that wasn’t a problem. The problem was the heat, so I tried to make the best use of the occasional clouds, pushing during those moments and also in the shaded areas. And the cooling effect felt in the occasional windy areas seemed to help more than the wind itself hindered. I still, as I already mentioned, felt like the heat had broken me on sector three of lap four, but was obviously still able to push despite feeling that I was quite done.

Before leaving the park, I sat on a bench, took the left shoe off and looked at that heel, seeing that it was quite scraped and the reason was indeed the shoe that’s just about falling apart. The right heel didn’t look that well either, but the left one was worse. Either way, I then jogged back, cracked and ate three apricot pits, had lunch and finished the tea. And I also finally pierced my belt in another spot, to be able to tighten it more.
I left again at 7:50 PM, first going to the Carrefour from the park, getting tea for dad and giving the cashier enough to get a 0.50 RON coin as change, which seemed to confuse her, so I had to explain. Then I checked that Mega Image on the way to the newer Kaufland, but didn’t find what I was looking for, nor anything interesting among the expiring products. I had much better luck at that Penny, however, going straight in, not bothering to put the teas in a cabinet, even though I had done so at Mega Image, getting what I wanted and then being surprised to see a very low price for the margarine that dad eats. He had just bought himself a 250 g one because he was running out and told me to look for more before he finished it, and even though it was neither in the catalog nor expiring soon, over there I saw the 1 kg one for only some 10% more than the 500 g one, so I grabbed one… And again gave the cashier enough to get 0.50 RON as change… Only for her to not give me any change at all, so I asked for it and she eventually gave me that coin after asking for the receipt and looking at it again.
Then I went to that Kaufland, having to try a few cabinets before finding one that locked and putting my things in it, and then also having to dash into the women’s bathroom for soap, though only for that, returning to the men’s to actually wash my hands. And I had just finished washing when bakery discounts of 75% were announced, even though it was at most 9:25 PM, so I rushed straight to the bakery area, where the employee was just placing the new price labels, saw two of those breads… But someone else took them in the seconds it took me to get paper bags, so I just got two sweet pastries and two buns. Then I looked for other evening discounts and just got a bundle of green onions, even that having less of a discount than I’d have wanted, after which I grabbed a few other things and made my way to the self-checkout, where I had to peel off a corner of the discount label from an expiring pack of chewing gum that I had grabbed for dad, since it couldn’t be scanned as it was. And a 1 RON bill fell out of my pocket, an employee letting me know. On the other hand, I only realized after getting back that 0.10 RON had been put in the machine, since it said that I had inserted that much more than I actually had. Either way, I then used the scales that are close to the bathrooms to get some labels that I used to keep the bags with bakery products closed, just finishing that when it was announced that the store had closed, so I retrieved my things from the cabinet and tried to just stuff them in a bag and walk out before they locked the doors… Only to be told that the outer door was already locked when I tried to go through the inner one, so I had to use the emergency exit anyway.
After taking some time to arrange the purchases in the bags on one of those tables that are outside, I walked away just after 10:05 PM and got back at 10:45 PM. Then I put the purchases in their place, cleaned some cat vomit, one just being foam and liquid… And then Micky threw up again, also just foam and liquid, and in the very same spot. Either way, I eventually had an orange and one of those sweet pastries, with some added jam, and kept meaning to also have something else, considering corn puffs but then meaning to eat a whole bag of bagels. But dad was at rehearsals and I wondered whether he’ll bring something, plus that it was already some time past midnight, so I decided to first go to the bathroom, oddly ending up just wasting time on the toilet before showering quickly, since it was still some time before 1 AM when I finished. Then, since dad still wasn’t back, I first checked something on-line and only finally went back to the kitchen at 1:15 AM, at which point I gave up on the bagels and started to make the salad, just managing to stick to the dinner schedule even though I even did the day’s squats while I was in the kitchen. As for dad, it was close to 2 AM when he got back, not bringing anything. Otherwise, since I hadn’t made another tea, I drank a bottle of water, having most of it before dinner but finishing it after, and got in bed at 5:20 AM, since dad only turned off his computer after I finished dinner and I also had to wash what he had left in the kitchen, only getting to spend a little time on-line after that, and then also chasing a cockroach in the bathroom before going to bed.

And now I’ll go back to the morning of May 28, to finally add the part about that order that I almost made at that point and which is now definitely abandoned. It was for what seems to be the only internal hybrid TV tuner for cable that still exists, and from the one store from here that claimed to still have one, and at that point just one, available. The price was high, but that is actually the price of the product, so if it’d have been significantly lower it’d have actually been a reason for concern, especially since the store has very poor reviews, the problem when it came to the total cost being that the store is in another city and charges for shipping, even for orders of this value. But, assuming I’ll eventually get another computer, I will need a TV tuner that will be compatible with it, and it seems that the entire class of products is just about gone, so after asking three stores that I have purchased things from about this product and having one reply only to say that their suppliers can’t bring it while the others didn’t reply at all, I decided to go for it when I saw that the price had dropped a little that day. But, even if they listed a single piece left, I checked that store’s hours, saw that on Saturday they’re available until 1 PM and risked it, waiting a little longer and only actually making the order after I got up that afternoon, just so it’ll only actually be processed Monday morning, offering me the opportunity to ask for the new price in case it’ll somehow drop again at that point.
Well, that was exactly what happened, the price dropping yet again on May 30, by 4%. And, while I had received an e-mail thanking me for the order the day before, the site still listed one as available, indicating that the order hadn’t actually been processed, so I replied to that e-mail to ask whether I could get the new price, mentioning that, if needed, I could cancel that order and make a new one. And then, since that e-mail stated that you should contact them by chat or phone despite apparently coming from an employee’s e-mail address and not an unmonitored one, I also sent them a message on Facebook, since that was one of the chat services that they listed.
Since I hadn’t yet received an actual reply, the following day I sent another message on Facebook, specifically stating that, if they can’t modify the price, I’m asking them to cancel the original order and make a new one, most preferably at the price that was listed when I had sent the first message, and definitely at no more than the price that was listed that day, which was 1 RON higher. However, the first actual reply came, by e-mail, after one more day, on June 1, telling me that I could cancel the original order and make another one if I wanted the new price… Only for another message to arrive later, letting me know that the product had been sent to the delivery company. So I replied to say that I assumed that this new message was an error, and also to point out that the price had increased by 5 RON by then, and even if that was still less than 1%, I had asked them to make the change before that increase and insisted on getting the price that was listed when I had done so.
Well, on June 2, just before 7:30 AM, which was actually moments after I happened to wake up anyway, I received an SMS notifying me that a parcel was going to be delivered that day, and when I checked I saw that the price was that of my initial order. So I sent another e-mail, got back to bed, and when I checked again, after getting up for good, I saw that the address had been deleted, so I assumed that they finally did cancel it. However, if nobody called about that delivery that day, the following morning, at 9:10 AM, when I was again already up and in fact starting to get ready to leave, I received another SMS, from a different delivery company, notifying me of a delivery, still at that initial price. But the link included in this message allowed me to cancel the delivery, so I did, and then sent another e-mail to the store… Only to be called after leaving, insistently, so after ignoring the first two calls I eventually answered the third… And found that the caller was the delivery guy, asking whether I was at the listed address. So I told him that I had asked the store to cancel and replace the order three days earlier and then also used the provided link to cancel that delivery only a couple of minutes after being notified of it, at which point he said that the cancellation must not have been registered yet and he’ll take care of it.
I exchanged a few more e-mails with that employee after that, but didn’t really get anywhere. It seemed that a new shipment had become available after they had sent what was supposedly the last piece to me, 45 or so suddenly being listed as available, but at first the listed delivery time was longer, so I kept saying that, if they had one piece in stock, possibly at the higher price, and others that they could bring from their supplier, possibly at the lower price, I have no problem whatsoever with waiting, and they can just keep that one for someone who wants it delivered right away, while that employee, after confirming that those additional pieces were not actually in their own stock and would indeed take longer to be delivered, kept pretending to not understand that I was asking for them to create that order, at the price that was listed when I had made the request. She actually ended her last e-mail by saying that she’s waiting to be able to confirm that I made that new order, so I sent one more to say again that I’m also waiting to see that they made it, repeating the entire explanation. And then, while there were no more replies, on June 11 I received a voucher for 25 RON off an order of at least 200 RON, the e-mail coming again the next day, at the exact same hour. Considering the code, which was the same in both e-mails, so I didn’t actually get two vouchers, it seems to be a standard offer for new customers, though the fact that I received it despite having canceled the order probably means that it was sent to me manually, possibly as a way to allow me to make that order at a better price after all. However, the price had increased by more than 25 RON compared to that minimum one by then, and jumped yet again since then, probably once they actually received that new shipment, the listed delivery time dropping yet again.
Could I have just made a new order on May 30 instead of asking them to change the price or make a new order themselves? Yes, but I thought that doing it that way was more likely to cause problems, especially since a single piece was listed as still being available at that point. So, could I have then accepted to pay 5 RON more than that minimum price, so still 22 RON less than the initial one, making the order after seeing that they were obviously trying to get me to pay that initial price and not sorting things out on their own? Again, yes, but I just dug in my heels and decided for an “all or nothing” approach. And, while it means that I still don’t have a TV tuner that I’ll be able to use on a potential new computer and, if this last model won’t also vanish soon, the price is likely to increase even further, the fact that I ended up giving up on that order actually worked out, since it meant that I still had money available and could give them to my parents after they took Micky to the vet, to cover the cost of keeping her there those two days… Not that it helped…

I once again need the first post of the week to be a non-personal one and, while it’d have been easy to write a short comment about one of the many current crises, it’d be inappropriate to treat such matters in such a manner, so I want to avoid it if I can. And an article I stumbled into on The Guardian, about local councils failing to offer adequate alternatives for children who can’t attend school because of social anxiety, offered me the opportunity to do so, leading to this quick post that deals with both a general issue and a personal one.
Many years ago, I ended up writing a post about how school was for me because of this anxiety after being surprised to find an article about the topic in a newspaper from here. However, even after all this time, despite the fact things have clearly improved since then, at least when it comes to the issue being recognized, seeing it presented in the mainstream in an understanding manner, with calls for acceptance and alternatives instead of “advice” aimed at making those with social anxiety fight themselves and change, sadly remains highly unusual. And, as that article proves, even in places where the official discourse has evolved to that level, things are very different in practice.
Admittedly, even that article mentions autism or ADHD in the specific examples given, which are different matters that enjoy, if I may use the term, far better recognition and at least a somewhat higher degree of acceptance, but the fact that the title and first paragraph are about social anxiety makes the difference, making it clear that the main topic is that those who are too afraid to attend classes need adequate alternatives, so they won’t be forced to live in such terror in order to go through school. Over here, the very idea would likely still be quite shocking, and the articles about anxiety when it comes to attending school that I found on Romanian sites after a quick search, while written in a more understanding manner, still focus solely on “helping” the child or teenager overcome or at least cope with the anxiety and attend anyway, but the fact that some parts of the world have finally evolved past that level, at least in terms of the official discourse, offers some hope.
Admittedly, having such alternatives wouldn’t have really been a benefit in my case, and in fact it would have likely done more harm than good, since I don’t see what I’d have gained from more formal education, considering what that meant then and, for the most part, what it still means, and having ways to continue without actually attending would have meant not dropping out and therefore at the very least being unable to dedicate myself to the relationship with Andra as much as I did, if it wouldn’t have prevented that relationship from existing in the first place, which would have made it the greatest possible harm for me, regardless of how things turned out. But, moving away from these completely personal concerns, such alternatives absolutely need to exist, to allow those who want formal education to obtain it in good conditions despite the anxiety.

The vet did give her back to us Thursday morning, and she did seem much better, but clearly not well and it was only downhill from there, so maybe it’d have been better to do nothing Wednesday afternoon, maybe just staying with her for what was probably the last hour or two instead of rushing her back there. As it was, she struggled until this afternoon, though she had clearly given up at least since Friday night. And she probably cursed me in her final moments, for giving her that gel and some water and wanting to force her to take some more food, since when I went to take the food from the fridge I banged my head hard against the freezer door even though it was closed, and was in the kitchen, holding some ice on that spot, when she died.

I keep remembering that my parents got her in 2004, but her documents list May of 2005 as her birth, and dad said today that he remembers taking her to the vet in June and being told that she was about a month old, which was why that date was listed. But I recall him telling me, years ago, that when he took her there he was told that she was about four months old, and the date when the certificate was released is listed as January of 2006, which is actually eight months away from May. On the other hand, he also said that he first took her to a vet that someone recommended, quite far away, while the certificate is from a clinic that’s not far from here, and all the vaccinations and checks during her first few years seem to have been done there, other names appearing as of 2009. So it seems quite clear that I’m wrong about 2004, but it’s possible that he first took her to that other vet just to have her checked out and only registered her, at this other clinic, some months later. Either way, she was 17.
Back to what I guess was 2005, I was living with Andra and I’m quite sure that my parents were still separated, but on the way to working out the arrangement they later made, which also included remarrying, so when dad found her in his car’s engine, he gave her to my mother. And yes, I did just say that he found her in the car’s engine. He heard some meows while driving, kept looking, couldn’t figure out what was going on, eventually stopped to have a look and found a tiny kitten in the engine. And he was apparently not allowed to stop where he did, and a traffic cop was in the area, so he came over to ask what was going on, but just turned around, quite bewildered, when dad pulled her out and told him that his car apparently runs on kittens.

Skipping to March of 2006, when I was thrown back here, I wasn’t depressed only about losing Andra, but also about losing Bubu. In fact, while Andra had returned and I had therefore also seen her again just before getting thrown out of there, she had left five and a half months earlier, while I had spent all that time with her cats, and caring for Bubu, so while it was obviously incomparably lesser, that loss was much more sudden, and I clearly didn’t want to “replace” him, especially after dad had sent me an e-mail at some point saying that they also had a cat, as if they’re all the same, interchangeable, after I had told him that if I’ll have to leave I’ll also miss the cats, or at least Bubu. However, instead of being wary of the new person, possibly even aggressive, Micky came to me as soon as I walked through the door, so my first impression was just that she was trying to replace Bubu, and that kept being reinforced by the fact that she kept trying to be around me whenever I had to come out of my room back then, and I rejected her completely as a result. So you can say that I couldn’t stand her during those early years, when I was so messed up and she was also very young and active, and I usually kept her away from me as well as I could.
However, things started gradually improving as time passed, since I became somewhat more functional and she got older and less active, so I sort of got used to her, and in more recent years to having her around in the kitchen, when I ate at night. And after my mother moved with her mother, I pretty much took on the role of caretaker. I still wouldn’t say that I was emotionally involved, probably not even to the extent that I was with Pufi or Bijou, not to mention Bubu, but I was relatively comfortable with her, we were mostly getting along, and I mostly took care of the food and litter box for her.

Getting to this last part of her life, I only became aware of some concerning symptoms some time after they appeared. I was noticing that there was much more pee in the litter box and eventually realized that she was the cause, and that she seemed to be drinking more, but only realized the extent of it after she stopped staying with me in the kitchen while I made dinner. At first I took it as an oddity, but wasn’t too concerned, thinking that she might have decided to stay with dad for some reason, that situation changing after I learned that one of her old oddities got to a new level. I mean, she always licked water from the bathtub or kitchen window, so it didn’t immediately raise a red flag that she had started rushing to the bathroom even when I went there, before I could close the door, and looking quite desperately for traces of water in the bathtub, and eventually learning that dad had started leaving the water running for her while he was there at first made me think that he had trained her in another bad, or at least strange, behavior. But when I put all the elements together after she actually started spending the nights in the bathroom, clearly hoping to have the water turned on, despite having water in four places, it started to become clear that something was wrong. And the fact that dad kept feeding her salty things, having gotten her used first to some cheese, for a long time, and more recently also to salty snacks, made the situation even more concerning. Still, I tried to push away my concerns for a while longer after mentioning them to dad and having him say that if she pees so much it just means that her kidneys are working well, and also that he asked the vet and was told that if she likes those things and they don’t make her ill, he can keep giving them to her.
Then again, trying to press sooner probably wouldn’t have made any difference, seeing as dad refused to take her to get checked out even when it was clear that something was very wrong and I did talk to him about it, and had kept finding excuses to avoid having her tests done for years, even though I now learned that the vet had been trying to press the matter for at least half a year, obviously because he didn’t want to know that something was wrong with her, sticking to his “don’t think about something bad and it won’t happen” mindset.
I mean, it was clear to me that something was really wrong two weeks ago, and I actually found myself thinking that I just hoped that she’ll make it until the weekend, when my mother was coming, so she’ll see her one more time. But at the same time I was looking for an easy option as well, thinking that perhaps she just had problems with her teeth. Either way, on June 22 I finally tried to press dad about it, after I asked him how she was and he said that she was weak, so he was finally forced to admit that something was wrong. However, after I said that the easiest option would be a tooth ache, he said that something like that wouldn’t be an emergency, he’ll just feed her the sauce from her food, blowing me off when I asked whether he’d be fine to be left with a tooth ache and saying that emergencies would be problems with her liver or other organs, which would need tests done, and that was another thing that he was obviously not going to do. So I first just tried to feed her some treats that day, and while the fact that she kept struggling to drink water kept worrying me, and at one point she quite clearly seemed to be in pain, that evening she ate really well, and also kept begging for attention, suddenly seeming herself again. But after another day or so, things went downhill again, and by the time my mother got here she was obviously doing badly, so even though my mother stayed until Monday and went with dad, to make sure that he took her to the vet, it was probably too late.

Since I didn’t even manage to finish the paragraph above this one before midnight, I posted what I had and then edited it soon after, in order to complete that paragraph and add this one, which I edited a little more before going to bed. And I’ll also mention here that it seems that I even forgot to change the date of that scheduled post that I keep scheduling for 11:59 PM on Sunday, to appear in case something would happen to me, so the fact that it was visible for several minutes, until I edited this one that first time and noticed it, was just a mistake on my part and didn’t mean anything. As for the rest of this post, I only managed to add what follows Wednesday evening, in fact only getting as far as the moment when Micky died at that point, then editing it again a little before midnight, modifying even what I had initially written about Friday and then adding the rest.

Getting back to Micky, my parents came back without her from the vet, since she ended up being kept her there for two days, with an IV, the blood tests showing that she had lost three quarters of her kidney capacity. And the following day dad left a little before I did and said that he’ll go check on her when he’ll get back, around 5 PM, so I said that I also wanted to go and the idea was that he’ll call and we’ll meet there if I’ll also be back in time. However, he called just when I was picking something up, so I quickly said that I was at the Post Office and hung up, and then rejected the next call, which came seconds later, after which he didn’t try again. So I went there on my own, not even meeting him there, since he ended up not coming at all, and talked to the vets about the diet and the supplements that Micky will need to be on after she’ll be released. She looked much better, pretty much seeming to be herself once again, but when I asked for an honest outlook I was warned that the improvement may just be thanks to the IV and her kidneys won’t get better, so it’s a matter of using the diet and the treatment to help her hold on with what little she has left, which might be as much as a year, but at the same time she might relapse within a day and not last the week… Which ended up being what happened…

Returning to the chronological order, dad brought her back Wednesday morning, a little after 10 AM, and since I woke up at that point I saw that she seemed really well, wandering around, looking for food, and after I weighed her and gave her the daily dose of the dry food that she was supposed to eat, she quickly ate most of it. Then dad left, taking Liza to my mother, and leaving me alone with Micky until the next day, which was quite an unpleasant surprise, since I thought that he was going to come back before leaving for work in the evening. And I was also really sleepy, so after a little while I got back to sleep, but I did keep checking on Micky, since my kidneys had started working more properly again, the typical side effects of a run as long as the Dream Trek starting to wear off, so I was waking up to pee almost every hour… And didn’t like what I was seeing, since she didn’t eat the little food that she had left in the morning and as time passed seemed to be getting lethargic again. But I did expect her to get worse before she got better, thinking that the effects of the IV were going to wear off well before those of the diet and supplements will really kick in, so I didn’t see it as a real reason for concern until, a little past 2:30 PM, I found her under the living room couch, seeming to want to hide and leaving when I placed her food there. But she still didn’t look bad, and leaving when I’d try to give her food that she didn’t want to eat at that point was her normal behavior, so I got back to bed once again.
I woke up again a few minutes after 4 PM, when dad called, and when I got up and went out of my room, Micky meowed after me and I found her drooling and having difficulty breathing. So, while I first went to the toilet, I soon gave up, beeped mother from the landline, told her when she called back that Micky looked bad and I’ll take her to the vet, and then did just that, grabbing her and carrying her there in my arms, not even thinking to take the blanket that she sat on when she was in the kitchen.
At first the vet said that maybe she had eaten something, chewed on a plant or a bug that caused that reaction, because it seemed unlikely that she’d relapse that badly that quickly, so he gave her a shot and said that he’ll keep her under observation for two hours. So I used that time to go to Park Lake, first to my provider’s store in order to charge with 1 EUR and activate the credit, to be able to call if needed, and then checking that Carrefour and getting two expiring yogurts. Then, since it was still early when I got back, I waited for a while and left again just after 6:30 PM, taking that blanket, since I expected to take her back.
Well, when I got there the vet said that she wasn’t doing well, had a hard time breathing, which was why she was drooling. He had put her on oxygen, but it looked bad… And she looked bad, far worse than she had when I had taken her there. Frankly, when I saw her it became quite clear that she wasn’t going to make it. But I wanted information, so I asked whether it was pulmonary edema and the vet said that maybe it was, but it didn’t quite sound like it, so what he could tell me was that something was wrong with her lungs and she also had problems with her heart, which I really didn’t know about, and the problems work against each other, so they can’t give her the typical treatment for the lung problems because it’d completely destroy her kidneys and vice versa, and the heart problems add yet another complication. He couldn’t understand how did it happen so quickly, still thinking that she might have eaten something to trigger it and saying that many cats with kidney problems get to that point, but that happens because of the IV, usually within six hours of starting it, not of being taken off it. Either way, he strongly advised against taking her back, saying that she probably won’t make it to the next day in that case, but you just needed to take one look at her to know that, so I said that I was quite prepared for it, but if it’s really bad, I’d want my mother to see her one more time as well, and he told me that in that case I should tell her to come in the morning, after they’ll open, at 9 AM, and we’ll see how things stand at that point.
So I tried to beep mother after getting back, but got a busy signal, so I then tried dad and told him what I had been told, and then my mother also called and I talked to her as well. Then I showered… And forgot to take the towel, so I had to go to my room naked and grab it. And I weighed myself again after that shower, seeing 47.1 kg, so exactly two less than in the morning, when I had weighed myself with and without Micky, to calculate her weight, showing just how much accumulated fluid I had finally passed out. Admittedly, I also hadn’t eaten anything that day, only doing so after that. And, after going back to the kitchen at 1 AM, I spent an hour washing the glass baking tray and another quarter of an hour slicing a bread for dad, and could only recover the hour, so I started eating dinner at 3:15 AM and finished at 3:55 AM.

With dad going back to mother after work and bringing her here again in the morning, the plan was to go to the vet together, and I thought that we were going to go as soon as they’ll open, which made me wonder what was going on when I woke up to pee and saw that it was just before 9:30 AM. But I first went to the toilet, then spent some time rinsing what seemed to be a fair amount of blood out of my mouth and trying to get a better look at what seemed to be a blackened wisdom tooth which I hadn’t noticed before. Then, since dad was still sleeping but my mother was here and in fact said that she hadn’t slept at all, I finally asked whether they had talked to the vet and she said that she thought that we’ll just go there directly. So we did, just the two of us, even if she wasn’t feeling well at all, on top of the lack of sleep.
We met some neighbors as we were about to leave the building and my mother started talking to them, so I first ended up standing around awkwardly and then went ahead, crossed the road and sat on a bench, waiting for her to finish, which at least didn’t take too long, so we got there just after 10 AM… And found that Micky wasn’t just still alive, but actually seemed much better! The vet did repeat to my mother what he had told me about her problems working against each other and preventing the use of the typical treatments, but said that they had solved her breathing problems by making her pass out as much fluid as they could and that, while she was going to drink a lot, the two shots that he’ll give her should prevent them from returning for at least 12 hours… Which didn’t sound too reassuring to me, since that just meant that they could return that night, after they’ll close. But there wasn’t much more that we could do, so I held her while he gave her those shots, being surprised that she didn’t even complain, even though he wasn’t, even telling me right away that she was so obedient and won’t cause any problems with the shots, and then we took her back.
Dad was awake when we got back… Or, at least, he had woken up, even though he was still too sleepy for “awake” to really be an appropriate term. So we all just looked at her for a while… And the fact that things were not fine quickly became obvious. She had seemed quite fine at the vet, but she had been in a cage and then held in my arms, so it was only after she got here and finally took a short break from drinking water that we saw that she even had trouble standing. She also didn’t want to touch the new dry food and just licked the juice from the wet one, otherwise just returning to the water time and time again… And lying down every few steps, looking like her hind legs were giving out, and meowing plaintively. She did, however, seem to want food, but her old one, since later she started waiting by the fridge, continuing to meow plaintively, trying to get in the fridge and look in the box where her food was whenever the door was opened and checking the food when it was brought to her or moved, but she barely touched that food that we had to give her, and in fact usually jumped away from it as if burned.

By the time I woke up on Friday, dad had placed dry food for her in three rooms and new wet food in two, giving her both kinds of wet food, so also opening the can purchased from the vet, which they had said that she had eaten while there. She wasn’t touching any of it, however, so I wanted to try to mix that food with some of her old one, just to have her eat something, and first gave her a little bit of one kind of her old food, to make her see that it was her old food, and she did eat that. But she once again refused to have anything to do with it as soon as I mixed it with some of the new food, so then dad gave her some of the other kind of her old food as well, without mixing, and she did eat some of it again. She didn’t finish it, however, and didn’t touch it again after that.
I don’t know the details about the rest of that day, since I was out, only coming back after dad had left, but when I got back she kept trying to walk out the door, though she lied down again after I finally managed to get in without allowing her to get out. And I saw every kind of food, both old and new, laid out for her, and when I talked to dad on the phone he said that he had indeed given her everything, but it didn’t seem to help, and indeed all of it looked like it was going bad, considering the heat. And, while she eventually drank a little water after I changed it, placed it in front of her and sat there with her for quite a few minutes, the rest of the time she was sort of just staring even at the water, barely moving from one spot to another, her legs shaking when she was getting up, and looking like she didn’t care to do anything anymore, giving the clear impression that she had given up. And later I saw her place her head on or even a little in the bowls of water, still without actually drinking, and her mouth really reeked, likely showing that she wasn’t eliminating toxins from her body. So, after placing some more wet food of both of the new kinds in front of her and seeing that it didn’t do any good, I didn’t just put that gel straight in her mouth, but did the same with some food, giving it to her piece by piece, like pills. I could only give her five or so pieces until she became too desperate to escape and I had to let her go, so even though I did this three times that night, it was still only a very small quantity… And she hated me for it, and I ended up with a few bites as a result, even though she was so weak. But at least that little bit of food had ended up in her stomach, to get her through the night.

Not that Friday night had left any real room for hope, but yesterday it was absolutely clear that it was all over. She was barely crawling from one spot to another, sometimes placing her head on water bowls but not drinking, and spent nearly the entire evening next to the water on the hallway, in front of my room. So I still gave her that gel twice, as we had been told, soaked a bit of absorbent cotton in water and poured it into her mouth that way, and wiped her face, but I didn’t risk forcing any more food down her throat, since she seemed too fragile and I feared that something would break if she’d try to fight me that hard. And at night, after dad went to bed, she barely managed to get herself to the door to his room, and when I went to brush my teeth, before going to bed, she seemed to want to crawl towards me, but barely managed to move a little before giving up.

As for today, dad left around noon, having told me last night that he’ll be gone until 5 PM or even 6 PM, and to call him in case it’s over, “but maybe it won’t be”. And she was still alive when I woke up, at 2 PM, again lying in that spot on the hallway, so I jumped into action, giving her another gel, placing her in the litter box after I saw a little crap when she tried to crawl away and holding her so she won’t collapse in it while she peed a little as well, wondering how to give her some more water and ending up taking her to the bathtub and, after seeing that she wasn’t drinking on her own if I just turned on the water, holding her so a little water flowed on the lower part of her mouth, so it won’t get in her nose and drown her. Then I wiped her face as well as I could, also tried to wipe the parts of her body which had gotten wet a little, and placed some more of the food that she used to eat in front of her. But she was just pushing the plate away, seeming unable to do anything more, so even though she was obviously stressed and even more fragile than the day before, I meant to once again try to give her some of the new food directly.
Well, I didn’t even get a chance to try, because when I took her new food out of the fridge I somehow ended up bumping my head, hard, against the freezer door, even though it was closed. So I cut some ice out of the freezer, looked for something to put it in and went back and forth between the bathroom and the living room, to find a way to use the mirrors to see exactly where I should hold it, and I was in the kitchen, holding the ice on that spot, when I thought I heard a faint meow, soon followed by another, which I clearly heard. But I decided to stay there for a few more minutes, holding the ice on that spot, before checking on her once again… And when I did I found that she had died.
At least the last thing I did was caress her a little, after wiping her, instead of stressing her even more by trying to force some food down her throat… Though it’s tempting to say that I bumped my head in that manner because she cursed me out for stressing her as much as I already had, and what’s quite obvious is that she’d have lasted a little longer, maybe at least until dad got back, if I wouldn’t have done so. But suffering for perhaps a few more hours wouldn’t have done her any good… And dad didn’t want to see her again before she died either, admitting when he got back that he had left just so she’ll die without him here, and therefore that he had lied last night, when he wanted to give the impression that he didn’t want me to be alone at that moment, though he again tried to put himself in a good light by saying that he had been told that maybe she didn’t want to let go while he was here and he saw that she was suffering.
Either way, when her body jerked a little when I touched it, I first thought that I had perhaps been wrong, failing to see that she was, in fact, still breathing. But that must have just been one of the reactions that may happen just after death, because I checked her thoroughly and she was indeed dead. So, after trying to close her eyes and being unable to, I first went back to the kitchen, taking a little more time to think about what to do next, before beeping dad and letting him know when he called back.
He had said last night that in that case he’ll drop what he was doing and come back, but I wonder whether he was actually doing anything. But at least he probably wasn’t that close, because he said that he’ll be here in about an hour. Still, that didn’t give me that much time, since he was going to take her to my mother, to be buried there, and I wanted to wash her first, so I tried to do that as well as I could, and then grabbed the hairdryer and started drying her, before realizing that wiping her with some paper towels first might be a good idea. So I did that, then got back to using the hairdryer, initially still in the bathroom, before trying to smooth her fur a little and finally taking her to the kitchen and placing her on that blanket. And I had just resumed trying to dry her when dad got back, in fact some three quarters of an hour after we talked, so I turned off the hairdryer and covered her with the blanket before he actually walked in.
While dad was getting ready to take her away, I threw away the entire contents of the litter box, washed it a little and changed some of the water, and after he left I also washed the floor in the small bathroom, where the litter box is, Micky having obviously failed to get in it on her own towards the end, and on the hallway, albeit rushing and only using water. And then I threw the clothes I had been wearing into the laundry basket and showered… And ended up having to get back to my room naked and wet, because I again forgot to take my towel. But at least dad decided to wait until tomorrow before bringing Liza back, so he didn’t leave me alone with her tonight, when she hadn’t been eating or even drinking on her own since she was taken there and we don’t know how she’ll behave after being moved again, even if in order to be brought back here.

To start with the early hours of June 9, I started eating dinner at 3:10 AM, also having some peanut butter again, and finished at 4 AM. Then I set the alarm to ring at 2 PM, but ended up getting up just before 1:30 PM. An SMS from my provider woke me up at one point and I wasn’t even sure that I had napped again after that, but certainly must have, maybe twice, because it seemed that almost right away I just saved a cramp, and then it again seemed like hardly any time passed until I felt like peeing again and got up it, but the SMS came at 12:37 PM and it was 1:29 PM when I got up, so I must have gotten back to sleep quickly both times. And I was sleepy enough to probably fall asleep right away once again and catch another little nap, but decided that getting up 30 minutes earlier would be more useful, since I had a schedule to stick to… Only to spend most of that additional time getting Micky to eat actual cat food. Either way, I then had the usual stuff plus almonds, with the sweet thing being the last of some pumpkin pie brought by dad from mother, with added honey, and left a little after 4:10 PM, wearing the full running gear. The reported temperature was 25-26°C, holding steady or even increasing by 1°C by the time I finished.
The time was 1:17:32, with sector times of 4:21, 5:02, 5:46, 4:25, 5:00, 5:53, 4:32, 5:04, 5:53, 4:37, 5:10, 6:00, 4:40, I think 5:12 and I think 5:57, making for lap times of 15:09, 15:18, 15:29, 15:47 and 15:49. About those last two sectors, I initially wrote down 5:12 and 5:55, which didn’t add up, but I only noticed that when I looked again, three days later, and while everything seems right up to that point, I’m not entirely certain that I corrected that part properly. It seems very likely, but it might have also been 5:14 and 5:55, I just couldn’t remember, having too many times to keep in mind.
I was wondering whether to try to stay under 1:18 again, not taking it easier, and then see what I’ll have left for the second run when I’ll get there, or leave a little in reserve and only aim to stay under 1:20, but the first lap was better than expected, mainly thanks to sector three. Then, after lap two was also better than expected and I was a fair bit ahead of the pace for 1:18, I aimed to avoid losing time compared to that pace on lap three as well. And when I actually gained a little more time yet again, staying under 1:18 became quite certain and the target became to complete all laps in less than 16 minutes, which I also managed. I would have preferred it if the last lap wouldn’t have been the slowest one, but I couldn’t avoid that… Which also meant that I just failed to stay under 1:17:30, which was a little frustrating. Then again, the possibility hadn’t even crossed my mind until I finished, even though a lap five that would have been faster than lap four would have guaranteed it.
I had to briefly stop on sector two of lap one, because of a woman with a dog, the dog going across the lane in front of me, and also on sector two of lap four, because two little girls started to run across the lane right in front of me. It’s possible that I also stopped for just an instant when I went wide in order to make sure that I avoided a guy on a scooter who was coming from another path, on sector two of lap five. Otherwise, I felt the heat mainly on sector two of laps one and two, since there were some clouds on sectors one and three of lap two and sector one of lap three, and after that, even if it was sunny again, I didn’t feel it that much anymore. Also, while there was little wind in a few places, it wasn’t a serious issue. Maybe I felt it a little more on the long straight of sector two of what I think was lap three, though there’s also a chance that it was lap four, but the other places where I noticed it weren’t on straights and, either way, it wasn’t bad. As for physical issues, I felt some warnings from the right knee on sector two of lap two, which initially went away but returned from sector three of lap three, though they remained faint all the way to the end. Also, from the start of lap three I had to try to spread the toes of my left foot, because the corners of nails were digging into a couple of them, but that didn’t help too much, since there was blood when I finished anyway. And another problem that became even more noticeable when I finished was the burn on my right arm, caused by some mamaliga splashing on that spot while I was making it, on June 5. A blister had formed, breaking the previous morning, but the spot’s right where the stopwatch stays and I only later started doing more to protect it.

A dark cloud was coming when I finished and it rained a little after that, but it didn’t last long and served both to make it significantly cooler and to apparently cancel the play that was supposed to start at 7 PM, clearing the final straight for my second run. The theater seemed to have just about finished setting up the stage, at what for me would have been the start of the final sector’s straight, when I finished that first run, but there wasn’t as much as a trace left when I got back there. And yes, that means that, as part of my training for this summer’s Dream Trek, I ran twice that day, having a banana and a muesli bar, drinking the rest of the tea and making another, putting some things in the pocket of my tights, clipping the toenail which had jabbed the toe, bandaging that toe a little and leaving again a little before 7:50 PM. The reported temperature varied greatly, between 18°C and 23°C, depending on which site I checked, so it was pointless to look at how it was supposed to change by the time I finished, but it was 17-18°C at 11 PM, which likely meant that it pretty much held steady all evening, since it seemed a little chilly on the way to the park, so I’d say that it was pretty much the same then as well. Admittedly, having dried sweat on me and being weakened by the first run likely had something to do with feeling chilly, but a steady temperature would make sense, the rain stopping and the clouds going away likely compensating for the setting Sun.
The time was 49:07.10, with sector times of 4:23.66, 5:12.32, 6:00 (5:59.03), 4:35.87, 5:14 (5:13.16), 6:00.59, 4:35 (4:34.72), 5:13 (5:12.85), 5:59.31 and 1:56 (1:55.59), making for lap times of 15:35.01, 15:49.62 and 15:47 (15:46.88). After that good first run, I was clearly only aiming to stay below 50 minutes, and after a first sector that was a little faster than I thought, a second that was a little slower and a third that was all right, the first lap seemed to give me a fair chance. So I then wanted to stay under 16 minutes on lap two as well, and when I managed that by some margin I realized that I might just have a shot at staying under 49:30, that first sector being a little faster than lap two’s giving me even more hopes and even making me wonder whether staying under 49 minutes was possible. So I really pushed from sector two of lap three, and continued to do so even when, after it, it was clear that staying under 49 minutes was no longer possible while staying under 49:30 was certain, which at least resulted in a lap three that was faster than lap two. In the end, it was the first time I went over 48 minutes since March, the first over 49 minutes since October, and the worst time over this distance since September. But it was the first time I ran twice in one day, so I was nevertheless very pleased with the result.
There were still a few drops on the way to the park, but the rain stopped as I got there and, while the lane was wet, oddly enough it didn’t feel like stepping on a wet sponge except in a few small spots, so I could use it. But I had noticed during the first run that a hole that’s under the lane, on sector three, got bigger, and on this second run’s first lap I stepped right in it, the ankle complaining a little even if I hold it firm, so I avoided that area on laps two and three. Otherwise, while there were a fair number of people and a few times going the long way around really meant going all the way on the outside and losing time, there was just one roadblock, on sector two of what I believe was lap one, and even then I managed to squeeze through while just slowing, without having to stop. But my legs were complaining, starting with the return of those warnings from my right knee and some new ones from my left hip but soon enough getting to the point that pretty much every part was complaining. And from the start of lap three my arms were also starting to go numb and there was also some pain in the right side of my abdomen. But from sector two of lap three I pretty much felt like I was in runner’s high and tried to give it everything, though those warnings from the right knee became actual pain on sector three of lap three, and it was probably because I was trying to spare it that I then also felt some pain in that ankle and lower leg. But I managed. It was all I had, however.

After the run, I went to that Carrefour, put on the mask as I got on the escalator, but just looked around a little, going back out without getting anything and continuing to Kaufland. I was also considering that newer one, but that’d have meant passing by that Penny, in which case I’d have wanted to check that as well, and there was no time, so I went to the other one, getting there when it was already past 9:30 PM. Then I washed my hands, and was surprised to see that the employee was just then placing the bakery discount labels. In spite of that, only a few things were left, and what I’d normally care about didn’t seem discounted, yet I saw a sweet pastry that was new and asked her what it was, since there was no label whatsoever in that spot. Then I got a bread and a bundle of dill for dad, followed by the new cornmeal which they had started selling, wanting to see how it was, and the canned sardines I wanted, which I scanned in order to confirm that they were indeed discounted, since they were placed in two areas and all the price labels still listed the full price. And then I went back and got one of those sweet pastries after all, even if it didn’t look like what I had been told it was, at best being somewhat similar, in a way, and only the discount label had appeared by then, the one with the ingredients still missing. Either way, after having another look around, I got in line at the self-checkout a few minutes before closing time and was still in line when the announcement came, but had no problems with the machine. Then I went to a table and took some time to arrange the purchases in the bags before finally walking away, the somewhat unpleasant part of the walk back being that no streetlights were on around that cemetery, so I had to be careful where I stepped, to avoid the puddles.
After getting back, a little after 10:40 PM, I ate that sweet pastry, with added honey, and some peanuts brought by dad, finally went to the toilet and to shower when it was almost 12:15 AM, and came out when it was past 1:20 AM. However, I first clipped my toenails, being done with that at 1:30 AM and only then finally starting to make a pizza… Which I had to keep defending from Micky until I threw her out of the kitchen and closed the door. So, despite throwing on the ingredients unevenly, also not quite sticking to the plan I had made for them, and putting another cucumber instead of some more cabbage in the salad, in order to finish it sooner, it was still 3:35 AM when I started eating dinner… And exactly two hours later when I finished, since dad gave me some things to transcribe. At 3:52 AM he even sent me an e-mail to ask if I had finished any, then said that he couldn’t understand how come when I said that I had barely gotten on the computer and started eating, so I had to at least do one of the two, and in the end also did and sent the part of the other that he said he needed quickly.
Since that took me until 6:45 AM, I got in bed at 7 AM… And from 10:30 AM there was noise coming from above, likely the result of the leak which had been slowly flooding us getting fixed, so I was just getting brief naps. I also got up for a little while before dad left, to make sure that he took what he had to take to mother, and while I then got back in bed and only finally got up for good when it was past 3 PM, I got very little sleep during that time.

Moving on to June 11, I got up when the alarm rang, at 2 PM, had the usual stuff plus almonds, with the sweet thing being a slice of cozonac brought by dad, apparently from the press conference that he had brought those files that I had to transcribe from, with added honey, put on the full running gear, with some things in the pocket of my tights, and left a little after 4:30 PM, when the reported temperature was 21°C, holding steady. However, it had rained and was still drizzling.
The time was 1:19:08, with sector times of 4:29, 5:17, 6:05, 4:36, 5:15, 6:02, 4:37, 5:11, 6:07, 4:37, 5:11, 6:02, 4:35, 5:17 and 5:47, making for lap times of 15:51, 15:53, 15:55, 15:50 and 15:39. I felt so tired at first, thinking that I’ll struggle to even stay under 1:22, but wanted to at least stay under 16 minutes on the first lap, which I managed. Then, as I went along on lap two, I was thinking more and more that maybe I’ll stay under 16 minutes on that one as well and try to stay under 1:21 in the end. And when I did manage to cover that second lap in less than 16 minutes as well, I thought I’ll go lap by lap and tried to also stay under 16 minutes on lap three, managing that making me not only switch the target to 1:20:30, but also start to consider staying under 1:20. So I really went for it on lap four, thinking that staying under 16 minutes yet again was unlikely but nevertheless wondering whether I could, not thinking about what I’ll have left for lap five. And when that resulted in a lap that was faster than any of the first three, and which made me need exactly 16 minutes on lap five in order to stay under 1:19:30, I just kept pushing, even more on the last sector, just hoping for the 6:08 that I needed… And ending up 21 seconds faster than that, and with clearly the fastest sector three and lap of the day! I pushed myself so hard on that sector that I was drifting off, but just held it together. So it was the first time I went over 1:18 on 16 kilometers since March and the slowest time over this distance since January, but I was again pleased with the result in spite of that, seeing as it came only two days after those previous runs.
The drizzle slowed to occasional drops soon after I started, but what was strange was that the light drizzle returned on lap four even though the clouds started clearing from the end of lap three. But on lap five it was mostly sunny, the drizzle again slowing to just some drops and even those stopping almost completely by the time I finished. However, the lane was soaked in plenty of places, so I avoided it much of the time, and there were also some puddles to go around, but at least there weren’t many people. On the other hand, I felt so tired at first, though I slowly got used to it. What worried me was that something in my left hip hurt from the start, requiring some two laps to warm up enough for the pain to go away. And the right knee also started giving those warnings soon after I started, though those went away more easily.

Since I decided to come right back after the run, I ended up carrying those things that I had in the pocket of my tights for no reason, but I did go back out that evening, changing my shoes and taking the backpack, moving the bags to it and also putting the jacket in there, and leaving again a little after 6:50 PM. I had asked dad for two of those “Meringue” cakes that I had seen, as a reward for staying up in order to transcribe those things just after such a hard day, and he obviously didn’t care, so I went there myself, asking for his metro card and rushing to the Kaufland from Basarab, though I left buying what actually ended up being just one of those cakes for later, after having a look at that confectionery and seeing that there was no danger of them running out of them right away.
It was barely past 7:30 PM when I entered Kaufland, but the employee was already placing the bakery discount labels, so I grabbed a few things, plus two bags of Bake Rolls, deciding to use the money which would have been for the second cake in that manner. But I didn’t actually purchase those products just then, instead putting them in a bag and hiding it somewhere, since I also wanted to check that Carrefour and was thinking that the discounts might increase. So I went out and, even though it was hard to do so after that run, I jogged to that Carrefour and ended up grabbing an expiring yogurt and mustard. Then I had to spend time that I didn’t really have in one of the long lines formed at the regular checkouts, since I didn’t see self-checkouts that could be used with cash, eventually put the purchases in the backpack and jogged back. It was only then that I finally bought one of those cakes, then put it and the yogurt and mustard in a cabinet… And almost forgot the bag with the money, which I had placed in another cabinet for a moment, without closing the door, so it’s a good thing that I checked right away, before entering the store again, and went back for it. After that, I found my bag where I had left it, but decided to replace one of the Bake Rolls with a bag of their bagels, added some salt that dad had asked for, and went to the self-checkout when it was past 8:30 PM, seeing then that the discounts hadn’t increased. But at least I had no problems with the machine, then retrieved my things from the cabinet, arranged everything in the backpack and bags, and went back to the metro station. If I wouldn’t have spent that time arranging the purchases, and maybe if I’d have also jogged a little once again, maybe I’d have caught the metro which had left two minutes earlier, sparing me from needing to wait nine more minutes that I didn’t really have, until the next one came.
Still, I managed to get back at 9:25 PM and went to have a quick shower right away, before the match. Then I ate the cake and started making mamaliga, eating the Bake Rolls over a period of time and then stuffing myself at night. But then I was again unable to sleep, and after dad got back I started reading Postcapitalism, eventually catching a little over three hours of sleep before I yet again woke up and again found myself unable to get back to sleep, despite staying in bed for some two more hours before finally getting up.

This post was initially meant to include all the five runs that I’m yet to write about from before this summer’s Dream Trek, but this is how far I got before midnight and I need a first post of the week today, plus that at least at this point the time to write about Micky didn’t quite come, so I’ll leave it at this. What I’ll end up posting tomorrow, and it what state of mind, remains to be seen, but at least I do have one more slot for a personal post, so all the options are available.