Nice Day
Felt good today. Or as good as possible in the current circumstances anyway, but that’s still very weird. Don’t think it was for any one reason, but several things happened that contributed to it.
First, last night dad came and took away the icon that had been on my wall so far. I told him about a week ago that I wanted it out, along with a nice and quite long explanation as to why. He seemed to ignore it initially, said he thought I said we’ll talk after Easter (I had said I could wait till after Easter if it’d make him feel better), then said that if this is my decision all he can do is respect it and he’ll come take it Tuesday night. It seemed to be going too nicely and expected something nasty in the end, guess I was wrong. He just came and took it with no comments.
Then I fell asleep last night rather quickly and hugging the teddy bear she gave me when I turned 18. If you think it’s weird for a 22 year old guy to sleep with a teddy bear, I don’t care. It’s one of the few things I still have that are connected to her, and the only one of them that I can sleep with, so there you have it.
Woke up in the afternoon after a long, dreamless sleep (guess it was about time), looked around and saw the empty wall where the icon used to be. Then circled my eyes around the room, saw the now really empty walls and the first thought was “deserted… depressing…”.
That made me happy. It made me happy because it expresses exactly how I feel, sort of finally having my surroundings in tune with me. And further enhancing that happiness was the fact that I then looked up and saw the only thing left on my walls, the little fairy she gave me once.
And the last, and probably most important, ingredients were having a really nice e-mail conversation about relationships, sex and the reading speed of a book that you don’t particularly like and listening to Antichrisis for 4 hours.
No, this post has no real point, just felt like sharing…
