Silly me. Apparently they put it there from the beginning and I didn’t know Home was on YouTube until today.
I’d strongly encourage everyone to see it, because it’s truly impressive. Of course, it’ll only have the desired effect on those who are already aware of the problems and trying to do something to solve them, because any such campaign bounces right off the rest. It does focus on humans and on how what we’re doing to the Earth comes back and bites us in the ass, not so much on the environment itself (which is why I’m filing this post in “Society” and not “Environment“), which is not the approach I like to see, but it could be helpful in getting the point across. Still, it hardly has any real shock value, so I doubt it’ll make much of a difference, but such campaigns usually don’t so that’s nothing new and, again, the film itself is impressive.
There’s little else to say about most of the film. It shows the wounds that our cities, plantations and exploitations create upon the Earth and how many people suffer because of it. It shows the shortsightedness of our development plans and of “civilization” as a whole. It shows the contrast between the majesty of Nature and our inefficient, stupid and harmful methods. It left me speechless, made me have goose bumps and occasionally caused a few tears to appear in my eyes. If I could cry while alone, I would have cried…
The final part bothered me though. Considering how things are going, it seems too late to be anything else… Not to mention that some of the methods presented there as solutions aren’t solutions at all and the others are far from enough. That optimistic note at the end seems to dilute the message and worries me a little. But it doesn’t make the rest of the film any less impressive or any less worth watching.
Who knows, maybe it could even have a little impact, as highly unlikely as that is.
The title says BDSM, but this post will mainly focus on the domination aspect of it, and I’m just talking about the relationship between a dominant and a submissive, won’t even go into master and slave relationships. I should also point out from the beginning that what I’m trying to say is not that this lifestyle breeds domestic violence, but quite the opposite, that people who exhibit dominant traits and don’t admit to them, or at least not enough to say that they desire such a lifestyle, may tend to become violent when they realize that their partners aren’t submissive enough.
BDSM requires consent. The behavior exhibited in such a relationship is desired and enjoyed by both (or all) partners. If a person is tied down, dominated, humiliated or even injured, it’s their choice. Sure, the act itself is likely the wish of their dominant partner, but the terms of the relationship have been established from the beginning, there are boundaries which are respected and safewords that can be used if the submissive partner is no longer comfortable with what’s going on. Therefore, regardless of how it may seem for an outside observer, there can be no harm done in a proper BDSM relationship.
The problem appears when there’s no such understanding, when the behavior is not desired by all those involved, when the boundaries are not respected and when the domination, humiliation or violence doesn’t stop even after the one subjected to it makes it clear that they’re not comfortable in that position. These are destructive relationships, where one partner forces their will upon the other, and unfortunately they’re quite common.
Let’s take a moment to think about those who exercise destructive dominance in their relationships. Why does that happen? How often is it because they actually want to harm their partner and how often is it simply because they want their partner to do what they say? Maybe I’m wrong, but I think relatively few people truly make a goal out of causing harm to their partners, if only because it’d make little sense to still desire to have a relationship with them if that were the case. And, if so, we can conclude that an important cause of domestic violence are dominant tendencies and desires which aren’t recognized or at least assumed as such.
Based on the large number of domestic violence cases, we can conclude that there are a lot of dominant individuals, so there wouldn’t be enough submissive ones to create suitable matches, but that’s an issue for later. The main problem now is that many of those who exhibit these dominant tendencies either don’t notice them at all or don’t think their partner should be made aware of them. When trying to explain why that happens, I find that culture most likely plays a very important role, especially in the case of men, who are most often the authors of domestic violence anyway. If a man lives in a place where culture and tradition say that he should be the ruler of his household, he’s more likely to assume that this dominant behavior would be expected of him, just like he starts to expect a submissive behavior from his future spouse, and when he finds reality to be different his response often ends up being a violent one. And culture and tradition unfortunately still say that men should be rulers of the household pretty much everywhere.
Culture may be very difficult to change, and tradition perhaps even more so, but there are still things we can do. Popularizing the concept of BDSM and trying to make people understand exactly what it involves could help some of them recognize these behavior patterns in themselves and others. Some could even realize that such a relationship is what they desire and start looking for an appropriate partner, while others may have a better chance of knowing what they need to stay away from. Campaigns against domestic violence focus on the acts themselves, usually after they become bad enough, while the indirect effect that something like this could have would have a greater scope.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the same mindset and behavior patterns drive those who take a dominant role in BDSM relationships and domestic abusers. The two are completely different and a domestic abuser will certainly never make a decent dominant partner, that’s quite obvious. However, some of those who have dominant tendencies could train themselves to become decent dominant partners in such relationships if they’d really want to and if they’d start early enough, before those tendencies would have a chance to take them down the other path, before they’d lead to abuse and violence. This won’t solve the problem as a whole, but it could at least help a little. And the fact that some people make a living by dominating others like this shows that there’s still demand for a few more good dominant partners or even masters.
Don’t ask me how could one train themselves for this, I have never been in such a relationship and have no desire to ever be in one either, despite the fact that I could somewhat describe myself as borderline submissive. But I’m sure there are good sources of information available and also people who have experience in such matters and who’d be willing to help those who are genuinely interested. After all, those who currently are good at taking a dominant role in such relationships weren’t born knowing all they needed to know either! They simply realized that they had these tendencies and they developed them in a way which ended up being satisfactory for both themselves and their partners. They realized that they don’t have a right to demand submission from any partner they might have, so they trained themselves and looked for a suitable partner in order to create something positive instead of something harmful and damaging.
It’s a complex matter and, as always, I’m bad at explaining things, but this could be a start… There will still be many people who believe that their partners must obey them simply because of their gender or social status, unfortunately. There will also be people who are just evil enough to desire to harm their partners. But this is a potential solution for those who are in neither of those categories, those who find themselves desiring something and not knowing how to obtain it without causing harm to others. It’s an issue that most people still know far too little about, so informing them could really help.
The EU has started phasing out conventional light bulbs and the reactions I’m seeing around here are about as negative as I expected, seeing as it’s a decision that inconveniences people somewhat. Even many of those who claim to care for the environment only do so as long as it doesn’t cost them any time, money or effort, of course.
Here, the newspapers have taken to checking out stores that have significant stocks of conventional light bulbs and asking people who are seen buying large quantities of them what makes them do this. By far the most common response has to do with price, a CFL being four to 25 times more expensive than a conventional light bulb. It should also last five to 20 times as much, and if you add that to the savings generated by the significantly lower power consumption you’ll see that it should pay for itself many times over, but people don’t think like that. Admittedly, another complaint some people had was that they tried to use CFLs before and they burned out about as fast as the conventional ones, if not faster. The newspapers point out that the two most common causes for that are the frequent power fluctuations, to which CFLs are quite vulnerable, and the fact that people are looking for the cheapest possible CFLs, which should also be expected to be of the lowest possible quality. People are also unhappy because, due to the mercury content, they won’t be able to just throw them in the trash once they burn out. Finally, there is a general dissatisfaction with the cool light that most people think all CFLs emit, though this concerns them less than the other three issues.
I believe it should already be quite clear that price shouldn’t be a concern. Not that cost should matter when it comes to protecting the environment anyway, but in this case CFLs really aren’t more expensive than conventional light bulbs if you take everything into account. Of course, certain conditions must be met in order for that to be true, conditions which allow a CFL to last as long as it should. Improving the reliability of the power grid would help everything that uses electricity, so the main problem is not that CFLs are vulnerable to power fluctuations, but that those fluctuations happen so frequently. Using CFLs properly will also greatly prolong their lifespan, and that means not turning them on or off after less than ten minutes and keeping them out of closed fixtures and humid environments, among other things. It’d also help a lot if people would put more emphasis on quality instead of price when determining what to buy. Those who are worried about the mercury content should look for the best quality even more, since the best CFLs can contain as little as one milligram, while some of the cheaper ones can contain more than six. It can be argued that, depending on the method used to generate that electricity, the lower consumption of a CFL can prevent more mercury from being released than it itself contains, but something that makes people refrain from just dumping something in the trash can’t exactly be bad anyway, not even when we’re talking about fear. Yes, there’s certainly a very long way to go before we’ll have a passable recycling infrastructure, but that only means we need to work on that infrastructure… As for the final complaint, there are certainly CFLs that emit warm light…
All in all, I don’t think anyone needed more evidence in favor of the idea that most people can’t be gently persuaded to do something good for the environment, but there it is nevertheless. If they even resist a measure that, given time, will also save them money, what could you expect for the others? But these measures are sorely needed… They’re too little and too late, actually, but they are tiny steps in the right direction and I just hope we’ll pick up the pace soon enough.
People must be made to use less, reuse more and recycle the rest, because information and persuasion are obviously not working. Then they must also be made to repair the damage already caused, but that’s a somewhat different story. And, of course, the most important thing is to make them breed far less, and perhaps also desire shorter, though certainly far healthier, lives.
I keep struggling to write in this blog, but for how long? I’ve been thinking of at least taking a break since last year, but somehow manage to keep writing something every week. I know a break will most likely become permanent, so that’s keeping me from taking it, but this doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anyway…
Maybe it’ll work a little better next week at least? Have a few posts in mind, as usual, and two that I actually meant to write this week. Maybe I’ll be able to get to it… If not… It’s not like there’s any point in anything anyway.
“The night is dark and full of terrors.” Unfortunately for me, it’s good that it’s dark but not even that helps anymore… The terrors are my own…
Found myself thinking that a couple of nights ago, while once again tossing and turning and being unable to sleep, my thoughts going where they always go…
I seem to keep writing on Thursdays lately, don’t I? It’s usually the day when I realize I can’t delay posting something any further and have to come up with something, because I still never feel like writing… At least this time I actually have things to say, though they’re only personal matters.
Went to the dentist on Tuesday, said I think the problem is with the tooth that’s next to the canine, but she looked around that area and said she can’t see any cavities. There was a lot of tartar, which she said was what I was seeing where I thought there was a cavity, but nothing else, so she sent me to have it x-rayed to see if that would reveal anything. Her assistant asked which tooth, she said 34 and I started counting teeth with my tongue because something seemed out of place. But I was given the piece of paper and sent on my way before I could be sure that there was a mistake.
Once back home, I looked at the paper and saw that 34 was, obviously, the fourth lower left tooth, counting from the center. In that case, I was talking about 32! Looked up the numbering system too, just to be sure.
I went to have the x-ray done yesterday and found the place completely empty, though someone else came in right after me. (The other place, where they sent me two years ago, was packed full.) Dad explained that I wanted it done for 32, not 34, and asked if they could catch both of them, but the clerk said they can’t catch three teeth well on film, since the canine was in between them as well, just two, so it’ll either have to be two separate ones or just have it done for 32. I said just 32 then. I wasn’t completely sure that the problem was at that tooth, but knew it was not at the other one.
Next problem came from the fact that there were just two people operating the equipment and they wanted to take both me and the other person at once, so neither would be kept waiting. They separated and I was apparently left with the assistant, because she went out and asked the other what settings to use. That didn’t seem to work out well, because ten minutes later we were both called back and told they had to repeat the procedure (free of charge, of course) because it didn’t turn out well the first time.
This time it was both of them for each of us and, at least in my case, the one who seemed more skilled actually remained in the room and held that arm to make sure it stayed exactly where it should, didn’t get out as they usually do in order to avoid getting irradiated each time. So I didn’t escape having two x-rays done after all…
Once all of that was over and I got to look at the film, I saw that it was centered on the one I asked for but also included two other front teeth on its right and the canine and half of 34 on its left. So if it’d have been centered on the canine it could have caught 32 and 34 just fine. I didn’t see anything wrong with 32 though, but the canine seemed to have a small problem.
So today I went back to the dentist. Showed the x-ray, explained why it showed a different tooth than the one she had asked for and she said it should have caught both of them. I said I thought so too, but they said they couldn’t do that, though the end result certainly seems to prove them wrong. Also mentioned that I had it done twice because I was told it didn’t turn out well the first time. The dentist said it didn’t turn out well this time either, but it’s good enough to see where the problem is. It was on the canine, just like I also thought after looking at it.
So she cleaned up that tooth, saying it was a very small and hard to reach cavity, but that it was close to the base so that’s why I could feel it already. Then she meant to put in the filling, but couldn’t do it due to the bleeding. My gums are in a sorry state, so that’s what happens all the time. It stops quickly enough, but it restarts as soon as they’re touched again, so she couldn’t finish the work on that tooth and moved on to removing the tartar from my bottom teeth.
That was the hard part. Not as bad as two years ago, but quite unpleasant to say the least. There was a lot of blood too, but there had been a lot of that from the beginning anyway. She showed me some of the things she was putting in my mouth to clean up and I’m quite surprised that I didn’t taste it, because it sure looked like my mouth was full of blood. Some dripped out too, likely being washed out, made it through the piece of cloth they put on me and even resulted in a stain on my clothing.
So now I should try the same treatment I tried two years ago, for the same reason, and go back next Thursday, when she hopes she’ll be able to put in that filling and then also take care of my upper teeth. Was told to expect pain if I’ll eat or drink anything either hot or cold for the next two weeks or so, but I knew that already. Been through this before after all, two years ago.
As for the dead cat… While walking back from having that x-ray done, I was pointing out the recycling bins that have appeared relatively nearby some months ago, as part of my ongoing attempt to convince dad to recycle. So I said “over there is where you should drop electronics, over there’s the place for paper, over there’s the place for plastic” and then I noticed something lying on the road, turned to get a better look and continued the phrase with “and over there’s a cat run over by a car”. Poor thing… I just hope it died immediately at least. But I can’t figure out how did it happen right there, because it’s quite impossible to drive with any significant speed in that place…
