Cav's Place

On June 30, I got up when the alarm rang, at 2 PM, and had the usual stuff… It seems that I didn’t write down what I had as the sweet thing, however, so I almost certainly added honey on whatever it was, but whether that was a slice of cozonac, a large doughnut brought by dad, two of those nicer but expired biscuits, or even something else, though that seems highly unlikely, I don’t know. Either way, I left at 4:25 PM, wearing the full running gear and one armband. The reported temperature was 29-30°C, holding steady, but it was sunny and it was rather burning.
The time was 48:16.35, with sector times of 4:30.45, 5:05.40, 6:02 (6:01.69), 4:29 (4:28.47), 5:03.12, 5:54.38, 4:29 (4:28.66), 5:06.78, 5:48 (5:47.18) and 1:50.22, making for lap times of 15:37.54, 15:26 (15:25.97) and 15:23 (15:22.62). I hoped to get back under 48 minutes, but it seemed highly unlikely, so I was really thinking to avoid embarrassing myself completely and at least stay under 50 minutes, and that first sector made me wonder whether I’ll even manage that. So I pushed more and sector two was better, but going over six minutes on sector three was not a good sign and the lap time made it seem like I will indeed need to fight to stay under 50 minutes. But each sector of lap two was faster than on lap one, more notably the third, so I thought of getting under 49 minutes more and more and at the end of the lap that was the clear target and seemed quite manageable if there won’t be problems. And after two sectors of lap three I wondered about getting under 48:30, really pushing hard on sector three and being surprised at how good the time was, already being safe at the end of the lap. It was still a poor time, but far less so than I feared.
It was rather hot and the lane had several newly repaired patches on sector one, a couple of them fenced off while others just had bands on them, held down by rocks, and there were a couple more like that at the end of sector three. And there were also some wet areas, including quite a puddle all over the turn that’s at the bottom of the slope that comes after the bridge, on sector one, so I had to slow in that area. I also had to slow at some point on sector two or three of lap two, when a larger group was ahead of me and a girl broke off and got in front of me just as I was reaching them. And I briefly stopped on sector three of lap three, when a group was once again ahead, a girl from it being right on the lane, and a cyclist who was coming from the opposite direction, alongside the lane, reached them just when I also did, so I had nowhere to go. But otherwise there were relatively few people, some stretches even being pretty much clear. As for physical issues, there was just a slight warning from the right knee from sector two of lap two, and a slight pressing need might have also appeared then, but both faded after that.

After getting back, I ate a banana, finished the tea and made another, leaving again at 7:15 PM, with 15 bottles in the “shopping backpack” and a bag of trash, which I threw in a bin. Though he was going to need it, dad had left his metro card, so I took it but didn’t use it on the way to Obor, wanting to try a shorter and nicer route which I had just learned and getting there in 35 minutes, without getting confused on the way and also spotting what seemed to be a cheap confectionery that I considered trying someday, until I saw the awful reviews.
I went straight to the recycling machine from Kaufland, to put in the bottles, but there was once again no way to make it accept those brown beer ones, though it did accept one with a similar shape from another brand, which was green. And I had six of those brown ones, so I put in five of the others, then went to look for one more, coming back when I had it to put in five more and get another raffle ticket. Then I made a few more attempts with those brown ones, eventually throwing one in, but the machine didn’t register it, so I came back with the other five.
Dad was supposed to buy something from another Carrefour location, if he’ll find it there, and call to let me know whether he did or didn’t, because there was just one more location where that product was listed as available on the site and, while I had never been there, I could walk there from where I was, though I was going to need to hurry in that case. And he hadn’t called by that point, so I was thinking to get going in that direction, but I decided to first check that Penny after all, entering with the backpack, grabbing a few things and being just about to get in line when he did call, saying that he did find that product and also telling me to get something else from Penny, so I did. And as I went past Kaufland on my way back, I saw a small tree of life on the pavement, maybe from a necklace or bracelet. I don’t know whether it was silver or just had that color, but I put it on the curb, in case the owner would come back and look for it. It was still there when I got back, however.
Either way, I then went to Carrefour, putting the bag with the purchases from Penny in a cabinet, but entering with the backpack. I got an expiring bread for dad and an interesting bar that was also among the expiring products and discounted despite being far from expiring. Then I retrieved what I had in the cabinet and got back to Kaufland, putting the bag with the purchases in a cabinet but keeping the backpack on, with those bottles still in it after another failed attempt to get the machine to accept them. Then I used the toilet and entered the store at almost 9:25 PM, hearing an announcement that the bakery discounts were still at 50%, and only some products had discount labels, so I scanned some to check and eventually took a sweet pastry… Just before the announcement that the bakery discounts had increased to 70%, so I scanned that label to confirm the higher discount, then scanned some more, finding that some buns that had no discount label at that point were also discounted by 70%. But I stuffed the labels back rather roughly and hastily and an employee reprimanded me for it, though she started with the fact that I had put the label for that bread, which had no evening discount, in the wrong place, though I had actually moved it from the empty spot where it had been to where that bread actually was. Then I added two beers for dad and two spoiling large cucumbers, which were deeply discounted from the already deeply discounted price that all of them had that evening, and also two kohlrabies, also deeply discounted, though what was annoying was that there was an entire crate of them among the spoiling products and each was in its own plastic bag! Either way, I went to the self-checkout after the closing announcement and an employee came as soon as the machine asked for one to confirm the sale of beer.
After retrieving what I had in the cabinet, I just figured out a way to carry everything outside and then stopped to actually arrange, placing everything except what I had in the bag that hangs from my neck rather carefully in the large backpack and walking away at 10:15 PM. But I did have that metro card, and since I was going to the metro station I decided to also check the Mega Image that closes later, putting the bag in the one cabinet that locked but still entering with the backpack that contained everything else, and getting a cabbage for dad. Interestingly, that entrance door did open to let me out after I retrieved what I had in the cabinet that time. Either way, I then just went straight to the metro station, holding the cabbage and only adding it in the backpack while waiting for the metro.
I got back a little after 11:10 PM, then I put the purchases in their place, cleaned a little of what dad had left in the kitchen, just ate a little more of that high-protein chocolate that I had, and went to the bathroom, to use the toilet and wash, when it was almost 12:20 AM. I was done a few minutes after 1 AM, but I had plenty to wash and clean in the kitchen, so I started eating lunch at 2 AM, just taking occasional bites while I finished cleaning and made the salad. I finished lunch when it was past 3:20 AM and immediately continued with dinner, so I ate that between 3:25 AM and 3:50 AM. I got in bed at 5:20 AM, after also sorting a few things out in the bathroom, since dad had taken a bath after me.

I’ll also mention here that Matomo Analytics recorded no visits on July 2, though both versions of Google Analytics did record one, since the old version still works even now even though it was supposed to already stop by then. And, while I’m at it, I’ll add that the same situation, with Google Analytics recording one visit but Matomo Analytics seeing none, happened on July 15 and July 22, while yesterday there were no visits recorded by either Matomo Analytics or the old Google Analytics, but the new Google Analytics, which I’m only checking for such situations, because it’s so awful to use, recorded one.

Getting back to the runs, a heat wave was coming, so I had to run on July 3 even though something was wrong with my right hip for the past couple of days and I also didn’t have green onions, so I put one of the few small red ones that we had left in the salad made the previous night. Then I got up when the alarm rang, at 2 PM, after waking up some 25 minutes earlier and needing to pee rather too badly to be able to get back to sleep, but nevertheless deciding to stay there and try to catch another nap after seeing the time, which resulted in a couple of naps that were mere moments long. Then I had the usual stuff, with the sweet thing being a slice of cozonac, with added honey, and left at 4:20 PM, wearing the full running gear and one armband. The reported temperature was about 31°C, dropping to about 29°C by the time I finished, and it was quite overcast, which really helped. On the other hand, I was worried about the garden that’s behind the building, before that fenced area, since the mayor keeps paving over everything, the work was reaching this area, the sidewalk actually getting paved in that manner since then, and that day I saw someone in that garden, apparently taking measurements. And I’m still worried, though nothing happened there so far.
Either way, the time was 48:12.92, with sector times of 4:27.04, 5:04.66, 5:54 (5:53.90), 4:26.19, 5:05 (5:04.88), 5:53 (5:52.65), 4:33.22, 5:04 (5:03.75), 5:57 (5:56.78) and 1:49.85, making for lap times of 15:25.60, 15:24 (15:23.72) and 15:34 (15:33.75). I obviously once again hoped to get back under 48 minutes, but that first sector wasn’t good enough and I had pushed far more than that time showed, and while the next two sectors weren’t bad in themselves, I couldn’t recover that time, so the lap was also not good enough. I still wondered whether I’ll do better on the following laps, and the second one was a little bit better, but definitely not enough, so I didn’t think that I had any chance and sector one of lap three made that clear. Still, at the end of the lap I saw that I had a chance to at least beat the previous week’s time, which I managed, but it remains a poor time, and what made it worse was that I had really pushed.
There weren’t many people, so there was some weaving and going the long way around, but just one moment, right after the start of lap three, when I briefly stopped because of another runner’s dog, who was running after her, without a leash, and got right in my way. Otherwise, it was windy on sector two of lap two and sector three of laps two and three, and while on sector two of lap two I liked the cooling effect, after that it seemed that needing to fight it hindered more than the cooling effect helped. As for physical issues, my right knee started giving warnings almost right away, maybe because I was sparing that hip, and while those eventually lessened, they never actually went away, and on sector three of lap three they got worse again, this being after my left hip had also started giving some towards the end of the long straight of sector two of lap three. I also felt some from the right hip at some point, maybe from sector two of lap two, but it might have been later and, either way, those faded after that. That hip did hurt a little after I got back, however.

After getting back, I finished the tea and made another, put something together and had it as lunch, and left again just before 7:50 PM, with the recyclables, which I dropped off in a bin on the way, and a handful of plastic bottle caps in a pocket, which I dropped off in the proper bin at the first Penny I checked… Which was one that I didn’t know existed, also on the way to Auchan Titan but closer and very recently opened, so I had a look through it as well before also checking the one that I knew as the newer one, after which I went to Auchan and got some things… And I again set a bag down and forgot about it. At least it was empty, but it was the sturdy one that dad likes to use, so I rushed back there when I realized it, being relieved that it was still there even though quite some time had passed. Either way, I also used the amount that was on the store card at the self-checkout, then went to that Penny as well, putting the bag with the other purchases in a cabinet but entering with the one that hangs from my neck, containing a bread which I had bought for myself. And, after wandering around for a while but still not getting anything, I retrieved what I had in the cabinet, moved the purchases into the backpack… And then realized that I hadn’t checked the bakery area, and I had previously seen that they had also introduced evening discounts in some locations, so I put the backpack back in the cabinet and dashed back in, but there was no discount sign, so I just walked out again. And it was only then, when I once again retrieved what I had in the cabinet, that the guard asked me to show her what I had in the bag that hung from my neck, since I had once again entered with it, so I did, finally leaving when it was close to 10 PM and continuing to a Kaufland that was closing at 11 PM.
In Kaufland’s parking lot I spotted a cart that had a coin in it despite being right next to two others, so I connected it to one and retrieved the coin. Then I put the backpack in a cabinet, washed my hands and entered at 10:45 PM… Only to see the bakery employees throw the pretty large number of products that were left in a cardboard box. But I found some expiring cakes that were deeply discounted, so I grabbed them, even though the box was leaking syrup and chocolate… And then I realized that my bags were still in the backpack, so I could get a few red onions, choosing to believe the label stating that they were from Romania even though it didn’t look like it and I had seen India listed elsewhere, but the cucumbers had a good evening discount and I needed some sort of bag for those, ending up grabbing a discarded plastic bag after being unable to spot anything else that I could use in that area. Then I got two more beers for dad, throwing them in the bag that hung from my neck, which I had entered with, and using their packaging to hold the cakes and onions, only later realizing that I should have thrown the other things over them instead of taking them out. Either way, the closing announcement came when I was on my way to the self-checkouts… And the handheld scanner wouldn’t scan the cakes, so I called an employee and said that I didn’t want to turn them over, but she said that I’ll have to and did so, and the other scanner worked. And the price for the cucumbers was the correct one, even though the scales had once again listed the full price and I hadn’t had time to check. And yes, I should have charged myself for that bag, but I didn’t, and the employee didn’t either, even though she had to come back and confirm the sale of beer. Then I retrieved what I had in the cabinet and took some time to arrange everything.
I got back a little after 11:35 PM, with about 13.5 kg. Then I took way too long to crack open some walnuts, eat those and one of the cakes, and get the chocolate and syrup off the inside of the box, putting the other cake in the fridge, so it was past 1:10 AM when I went to shower and almost 1:50 AM when I was done. And I still had the other purchases, as well as some other things, to put in their place, so I ended up eating dinner between 3:25 AM and 4 AM.

As for July 10, the alarm was set to ring at 2 PM but I woke up at 1:40 PM, when dad left, and I needed to pee yet again, after doing so three times since going to bed, most probably because of all of the cucumbers from the salad, and that time I did go… And then I decided to get up, albeit taking it slowly. And I also wrote and sent a comment about an article from The Guardian, which took a while and wasn’t published. So I had the usual stuff, the yogurt being a bio (organic) “creamy” one, and the sweet thing another slice of cozonac, with added honey, but it was almost 4:40 PM when I left, wearing the full running gear and one armband. The reported temperature was about 33°C, holding steady, so it was a relief that it was mostly cloudy.
The time was 47:21.42, with sector times of 4:18.73, 4:51 (4:50.97), 5:35 (5:34.47), 4:19.68, 4:58 (4:57.63), 5:52.34, 4:32 (4:31.78), 5:11 (5:10.88), 5:56.38 and 1:49 (1:48.56), making for lap times of 14:44.17, 15:09.65 and 15:39.04. Of course, I once again aimed to get back under 48 minutes, but I feared that I won’t even stay under 49 minutes, considering the heat. But the first sector’s time was better than I expected and then I pushed even more and was amazed by the second sector’s time, so I kept pushing, aiming to cover the lap in less than 15 minutes, and I managed much more than that, a top ten lap time and the fastest lap since November. And I still had good times on the first two sectors of lap two as well, so at that point I even gave a passing thought to getting under 47 minutes. I was tiring on sector three of lap two, however, and even more so over the course of lap three, as the sector times show, but 47:30 remained a possible target, so I pushed as much as I still could throughout lap three, fighting for it, and while I still didn’t feel exactly safe at the end of the lap, I had a good chance, and the final sector was actually faster than expected. So it could have been better, and tiring so quickly was a bad sign, but at least I finally had another run that I could be pleased with, and at a very good moment, since it technically marked the start of my preparations for this year’s marathon.
Though the number was gradually increasing, there weren’t many people, so other than some weaving and going the long way around, I just had to quickly step off the path on sector one of lap three, to avoid a guy who took a step to the side that I was just about to pass him on. Otherwise, a portion of the lane, quite a few meters long, was fenced off, but it wasn’t a problem and I realized that on lap two I didn’t even notice it, being so focused that I must have gone past it without even realizing it. In terms of physical issues, however, my upper abdomen started hurting from sector two of lap one and for a while it kept getting worse, but when I saw that time I understood why, and I guess I got used to it as time passed, since it didn’t really go away but after a while I’d say that I no longer really noticed it. And from sector three of lap two I was getting too tired, starting to feel a little nauseous from sector one of lap three and something of a pressing need appearing from the end of the long straight of sector two of lap three. But I pushed through it all.

I quickly checked the nearby Mega Image on the way back, then finished the tea and made another, ate watermelon and the last piece of some ice cream cake sent by my mother, even did the day’s squats, in the kitchen, and left again at 7:50 PM, going back in that direction and finding a bag of apples among the spoiling products in Carrefour, giving the exact amount to the cashier and not being charged for the bag. The apples were imported, but I bought them because I wanted to give them away, in order to start making up for what somebody else had ended up paying for me on June 19, which is another story… Either way, I once again had the “shopping backpack”, so I put the apples in it and entered with it when I had a quick look in the Mega Image that’s next to the farmers’ market, though I still didn’t find any of that cat food. Then I also quickly passed through the market, glancing around, since a few sellers were left, but the apples had insane prices. And I once again entered with the backpack when I went to Supeco, finding that the beets still had the old price even though it had increased significantly everywhere else those days, so the full price was what I had ended up paying for the spoiling ones which I had bought from Mega Image two days earlier… And there was even a bag of beets among the spoiling products, at half of that price and seeming all right, so I grabbed it, along with one of cucumbers, being charged for both bags.
After adding those purchases in the backpack, I continued to Auchan, though I checked another Mega Image on the way, once again entering with the backpack, but still not finding any of that cat food. And I entered Auchan with the backpack as well, finding plenty of discounted products and ending up getting some light bulbs, all the four bags of the better cornmeal of their own brand that were left in that area, likely the result of them also trying to get rid of their own products with Nutri-Score labels, and some mustard. And since that 50% discount that applies to those pretty good sweets on Mondays if you use the store card still applied, I got the smallest box, and then also some water for dad, using the amount left on the store card at the self-checkout. Then I took my time to arrange everything else in the backpack, leaving those sweets in a bag.
I decided to use another route to get to Kaufland, so I won’t be tempted to check that Profi as well, since I’d have reached it close to 10:30 PM, when it closes for half an hour. And I made a small detour to another Mega Image on the way, putting just the bag, rather pointlessly, in a cabinet, and getting a discounted apple pastry, then retrieving the bag. But I did put everything in a cabinet at Kaufland… Only to realize as I was on my way to the toilet that I had left the door open, so I rushed back and locked it. And there was no soap, so I had to wash my hands just with water after peeing.
It was past 10:40 PM when I entered the store, seeing a good evening discount for green onions, so I grabbed two bundles and a few torn tops right away, before continuing to the bakery area… Only to see no discounts listed. An employee passed by and I asked from a distance whether there really were no discounts, but she just looked at me and then continued walking, so I took a label and scanned it, seeing a 40% discount. That was too little for those buns, but I then saw two cheaper ones left, and also five of the pretzels that my mother wants, so I scanned those labels as well and saw a 70% discount for those, so I got all of both. I only later realized that I didn’t even check whether any bread that I’d have wanted was left, and I didn’t have much bread left. But I was rushing, checking the expiring products and having a quick look through some canned products as well, since plenty of their own brand were discounted by 50% those days, since they were also trying to get rid of those with Nutri-Score labels. But I just got some more cans of mushrooms, which also had that discount, when I returned to the fruits and vegetables when it was announced that the store would close in five minutes. I had also realized by then that I should have gotten more green onions, in case I was going to give some away, but there were none were left at that point, unsurprisingly.
When I made my way to the self-checkouts, I heard an employee tell another that “he” was the only one left, quite clearly referring to me, and he rushed after me, told me to use the first machine when I meant to make my way to the last one, and rather got all over me, scanning my products, making me feel increasingly anxious and probably making the process take longer as a result. And I wasn’t the last one left, since someone else came to use a machine while he was focused on me, and then another person asked whether any regular checkouts were still open, at which point he snapped at her to pick whether she’ll use card or cash and use one of the appropriate machines, not wander around the store at that hour. Either way, there was no closing announcement, but it was 11 PM by the time I paid, and then I took my time to rearrange everything, putting what I could give away into a bag and then arranging those products a little better after passing through the first set of doors, so it was almost 11:10 PM when I walked away.
I checked the non-stop Mega Image on the way back, putting the bags in a cabinet but entering with the backpack, heavy as it was. I still didn’t find any of that cat food, however, so I just retrieved the bags and continued on my way until I saw that homeless man from this area, in the spot where I knew he used to stay those days. It did help that he was in the open, looking through the recycling bins, and not lying behind them and the pavement and sand piled up in that spot, but it still felt awkward when I gave him the apples and a bundle of green onions, so I just mumbled that it’s just in case it’ll help him in any way and rushed away.
I got back a few minutes before midnight, with just over 20 kg, so I had carried 21 kg, if you add what I gave away. And then I cleaned the litter box and went to drop a bag of trash down the chute, after which I put some of the purchases in their place, tried all of the light bulbs, to check that they turned on, and changed the one from the kitchen, since we had been left with a weaker one ever since the previous one had burned out, about a month and a half earlier. I went to wash at 12:45 AM, getting back in the kitchen when it was past 1:20 AM. Then I washed and cleaned what dad had left, put the remaining purchases in their place, eating lunch, on and off, between 2 AM and 3:40 AM, and then I moved straight to dinner, which I ate between 3:45 AM and 4:25 AM.

This review refers to the original game and is strictly about it, without comparing it to the remastered version, on any platform, since I didn’t play that and didn’t care to. The fact that I only managed to get myself to write this review now, shortly before a full year passed since I finally finished it, does mean that some details aren’t that fresh in my mind anymore, but at least I started over at that point, needing about a month and a half for that successful playthrough of a long game, so anything forgotten from the previous attempts doesn’t matter. But I will state that I bought the game back in 2012, might have poked around in it a little at the time, actually attempted to seriously play it but failed miserably in 2014, tried again but eventually abandoned it when I was clearly heading for another failure in 2015, and then kept meaning to have another go at it but needed just under seven years to actually do so. On the one hand, that shows that it can be hard to push through it, but on the other, it should also show that it’s a memorable game, leaving a strong impression and a desire to experience it despite the difficulties and frustration. Or at least that’s how it was for me.

Actually, I’d say that “experience” really is the appropriate term, because it’s much better if seen as a work of art. The pictures, the music, the extensive lore and background information, including the manual, the clan’s saga, even the UI, all of it is so fitting and I’d dare say even beautiful. And the developers were well aware of that, making it easy to toggle all the other elements on and off by pressing the space bar, to allow the pictures to be viewed in full, setting aside a section for the lore, which you really need to read and learn and actually understand, and not merely recording the clan’s saga in the game, but even making it accessible outside the game, in a plain text file generated alongside each save, and also at the end of a game, whether with victory or defeat. And that feature may actually be smart in another way as well, because it’ll obviously only record the outcomes accepted by the player, possibly enhancing the memories of the good times, retroactively, while diminishing those of the failures, and of the frustration. Either way, if anyone’s curious, I uploaded mine. The one from the successful attempt, of course.
Sure, it is a game and by playing it you create that saga, but it feels the other way around, that you play a saga of your own making, more or less. And such a feeling of immersion is difficult to create only through text and still images, more so when the story isn’t fixed, the developers can’t really know or fully control it, and even more so when the player isn’t actually included, there’s no actual player character. Yet they nevertheless managed it, making King of Dragon Pass an early and successful example of using the medium for art and even beauty.
As such, all I’ll say here about the gameplay is that it keeps you playing. It can also be quite satisfying when things fall into place and the clan develops in the desired direction, but as long as you’re not heading for disaster, or at least remain blissfully unaware of it, you’ll be looking forward to your next move, the next event, the next season, the next year, the next opportunities and steps towards the next goal you set for the clan, and of course towards the final victory. You can do it all at your own pace and in however many sessions you desire, but you’ll probably lose track of time pretty often, going through all the available options and trying to decide what the best or most helpful one would be at that point. Of course, that may also happen while reading more of the lore or looking at some new pictures, but I already covered that…

However, while there are winning and losing strategies overall, random chance will often ruin your plans, and the experience, dictating not only the challenges and opportunities set before you, but also the outcomes of your decisions. In this game, doing the exact same thing and expecting different results is not at all a definition of insanity. Plus that much happens under the hood and there’s no way to see the calculations or the odds, so plenty of events that aren’t actually random will still feel like they are. As a result, you probably won’t get very far without saving and reloading until you get what you desire or avoid or solve a problem you can’t accept.
This applies to nearly every aspect of the game, and there are times when you’ll be more or less in the dark even regarding the potential outcomes, but the plague of random chance hits particularly hard when it comes to the heroquests. Couple an action that may lead to potentially great rewards in case of success but also great, and at times perhaps even greater, harm befalling the clan in case of failure with the fact that you’ll still be in the dark regarding plenty of necessary details even after reading the lore, which also leaves something to be desired in terms of the quality of the writing, and with the knowledge that random chance can and sometimes will lead to wildly different outcomes even if you’ll make the exact same choices, and the result is a crucial aspect of the game that can only really be played by “abusing” saves. Not that I’d really have a problem with doing so in itself, in a game you should be able to retry whatever you want until you get it right, my problem being with those that disallow or even just discourage the practice, but it’s also a problem when you’re pretty much forced into it because random chance plays far too much of a role in determining the outcome and you’re not even provided with the necessary information to calculate your chances or really determine the best strategy.
But on top of the fact itself, what makes it worse in such a game is that it breaks that immersion that its appeal relies on. One moment you’ll be playing, creating and at some level even living the clan’s saga, the next you’ll be reminded that it’s just a game and thrown back to “reality” by the realization that you need to save before an important moment and possibly reload, maybe multiple times, until something works, or at the very least until it doesn’t fail in an unacceptable way, and that sometimes you can go through that entire range of outcomes without even changing any of your choices.
And I’ll actually leave it at that. There are other problems, and I also noticed some little bugs and know that more and far more important ones exist, some also playing a part in the unpredictable outcomes, but this plague of random chance coupled with knowing too little about what goes on under the hood pretty much overshadows any other complaints. You might be tempted to say that the time that passed and the potential effects of the clan’s saga on the player’s memory also made the other complaints fade from my mind, but the fact is that my notes, written while playing, only included a couple of very small other issues, such as wanting to be able to see how I allocated magic at sacred time, and maybe also the tula screen, at any point, and finding the font used for the names that appear under portraits hard to read.

Frankly, I’m not pleased with this review, the game deserving far more than one of the least detailed ones I ever wrote, making it sound like a visual novel when, despite being played through text, choosing options and sliders, often reacting to the situations it decides to throw at you, it’s obviously a strategy game, featuring combat, diplomacy, resource and population management, exploration, trading, base building and more. But I also find myself quite content, not only because I finally managed to write it, after all this time, but also because it does cover what matters most, at least in my opinion. Picking apart each gameplay aspect of King of Dragon Pass would be not only difficult, but possibly even wrong, because it’s more than the sum of its parts and much better in terms of how it feels, the impression and memories it leaves, as well as in its artistic aspects. It’s frustrating that so much is determined by random chance and even some of what’s not actually random still feels that way because of the lack of information, and the saving and reloading that you’ll inevitably need to resort to because of it does break the immersion, but the overall feeling of playing a saga of your own making remains, and that’s what matters and what it’s really about. And that very saga may also improve those lingering impressions, and enhance the feeling of nostalgia you’ll get when remembering the game.

In the early hours of April 8, before dinner, I ended up doing 300 squats, since I had been skipping days and had kept putting off doing them that day as well. Then I meant to eat and go to bed earlier, since, contrary to what I had thought three weeks earlier, there was another tree planting event that I could attend that spring. However, after getting ready for the morning, it was 4:45 AM when I went to bed, without changing out of the clothes that I was wearing inside those days, since I had decided to also wear them that day, so the nap I had before 5:45 AM, when the alarm rang and I got up, was probably shorter than the half hour or so that I got in the evening. Then I had something to count as breakfast, added another training shirt on top of the one that I was already wearing and a second pair of socks, and left at 6:55 AM.
I jogged to Dristor, getting there in less than 15 minutes and just pulling that thing that I was wearing on my neck up in order to also cover my nose on the metro, even though I had taken a mask with me. And I was at Opera Square at 7:25 PM, which gave me time to use that toilet before entering the bus… And ending up sitting next to that guy who was my teammate in the autumn of 2018, and whom I had ended up sitting in front of a year later, across from last spring, and behind in autumn. After giving him a nod when I saw him, I had initially meant to keep going, but others met just in that spot, shaking hands over me and blocking the way, so I asked whether the seat was free and sat there after all.
I did see one guy who was wearing a mask, but that wasn’t enough to make me feel less awkward about taking mine out, so I still didn’t. And, despite having been told that all buses will leave by 8 AM, it was almost 8:15 AM when we finally did, and while we were waiting the bottom of an overhead luggage compartment fell over those who were sitting under it, though at least there were no injuries, and it was taken outside and placed in what would otherwise be the checked luggage compartment. Either way, once we got going I put on the headphones and read, since I had taken Fire and Blood with me, though that implied needing to manage carsickness, so it probably helped when I had to take brief breaks when we were given the bags that contained a few things and the wristbands, and when the coordinator asked who wanted to sign the contract on paper instead of using their app. However, though I raised my hand and so did another guy, the coordinator just asked each person for their names, in order to fill that form. He does have an excuse for forgetting, however, since we started to smell fuel, then there were some worrying sounds, and then, some 35 minutes after leaving, the bus stopped. There were no announcements, but the driver went to the engine, opened the hood, then came back and tried to start it again, giving up after that only resulted in some pretty bad shaking. After that, the coordinator also stepped off the bus, still without making any announcement, and when I stepped off as well I saw that he was furious, and also worried about possible panic, though there didn’t seem to be any. And we were close to a gas station, so after a little while I went to pee one more time, just in case. It was past 9:30 AM when we got moving again, in another bus, which had been sent to replace that one.
We arrived at 10:20 AM, so the others had been waiting for us and I rushed to get a sandwich, tea and an apple, putting the apple in the backpack and doing my best to fill that contract which hadn’t been given to me on the bus, eat and drink while the speeches started. I was walking around the area by the time they finished, then there was the group picture and we got to work, the fact that I didn’t grab a shovel right away making me worry that I won’t be able to work alone after all, since almost all of them had been taken by the time I came back for one. However, I spotted a guy who was unwrapping what was probably the last bundle and was able to get one from it, so I could still work alone, planting 20 trees before taking a break. A woman jumped in to help with one at one point, after her husband had walked away for a little while, but I said that I could handle it and she didn’t continue after that. On the other hand, the music wasn’t suited for such an event; I could pretty much feel it slowing me down.
I took that break when it was almost 12:25 PM, using the toilet and getting another sandwich, tea and apple, though I once again put the apple in the backpack. And I also saw bananas while eating the sandwich, so I went and grabbed what seemed to be the next to last one, and I did eat that… And then I felt rather awkward, because at 12:50 PM lunch was announced, so I went to take that as well, leaving the shovel where I had sat… Only to find someone else sitting there when I got back, and that person was actually a former TV show host who mainly switched to on-line activities, so others were gathering around him as well and I looked for another place, ending up sitting next to a couple and even exchanging a few words with them. On the other hand, on top of those who were dumping everything, including unfinished food and drinks, into random bins, an unpleasant surprise was the number of participants, including Scouts and youth, who seemed to want to separate their trash but genuinely not know how, the resulting mess making even the girls who had sorted what was already in the recycling bins while I was eating the sandwich and banana give up and just tie trash bags to them. Either way, after lunch I grabbed yet another sandwich, hoping for a vegan one but finding that none were left and even the tent where vegan food was supposed to be had regular ones instead, which must have caused quite a number of unpleasant surprises. And I also took one more apple, which I once again put in the backpack, and another tea, in the same cup, after having meant to do so when I got lunch but leaving it for later because those from that tent were busy and ignored me when I tried to ask.
I finally got back to work at 1:35 PM, after a singer had taken the stage, and after a while I ended up commenting out loud that she was mostly singing drinking songs, sarcastically adding that they must be very “educational” for all the children who were present, and some of those who were around me at that moment agreed. Either way, after first taking a planted tree out by accident, not noticing that it was there, and replanting it, I planted ten more trees. At one point, a woman told me and another guy who was also working alone to team up, but I didn’t want to, continuing to work alone and seeing three more holes left in my area after planting those ten trees. However, a couple also spotted them as I started planting in one, and I think they planted in the other two, though there is a chance that they only did so in one. Either way, we then started searching and I clearly recall finding one more spot, close to the river, but it’s possible that I found one more before that as well, since I made a note that I planted 33 trees, plus the one that I accidentally removed and replanted. But I remember thinking that I might have miscounted by one, so I’ll say that I planted 32 to 34 trees, plus that one, before I stopped working, at 2:40 PM. Then I used the toilet again, saw that a couple of sandwiches were left and took yet another, and otherwise took it easy… And also took some final pictures, the fact that I can only link to the official ones leading to the reason why I couldn’t write about this day for so long.
Things might have been very different if the bus that I had arrived there on wouldn’t have already left, but it had, since many had wanted to leave earlier, so I had to get on another one, stepping on at 3 PM and seeing a second person with a mask, but still not putting mine on. The guy who had been my teammate in the spring of 2018, and who had also recognized me in the autumn of 2019, sat next to me, after having noticed me and saying that we knew each other as I was about to finish working. Either way, it was past 3:10 PM when the bus, which was the last one, left, and for some reason I didn’t even check the pictures at that point, just putting the camera back in its cover… Only for it to just vanish from my mind after that.
I think I meant to put it in my backpack, but I have no idea whether I did that or put it in the jacket, or in fact left it on or between the chairs because I wanted to rearrange what I had in the backpack and take out the book and then forgot that it was there. I do know that I was digging through the backpack, actually thinking that I had taken too many things, having also grabbed I think three bottles of water, or at least two of them, I’m not quite sure anymore, and I was going to pay for it in some way, when my jacket fell from my lap, since it was hot on the bus and I had taken it off, and the noise I heard seemed to indicate that something heavier than what I knew I had in the jacket’s inside pocket had fallen out, but what I found, after both looking and feeling around, was everything I knew I had in that pocket and nothing else. There’s also a chance that I was just about to put it in the backpack at that point, but dropped it somewhere in order to retrieve what had fallen and then forgot about it. But what’s certain is that I did forget about it, just putting on the headphones, finishing a chapter and then just sitting there, unable to keep reading since the nausea caused by the carsickness was worsened by the stench… Sadly, I was the source of plenty of it, but I was likely far from the only one.
Things might have also been different if I’d have joined those who got off the bus at an earlier point, where the driver agreed to stop, but I waited until we got back to Opera Square, at 4:35 PM… And then I found myself unable to get my arm in the jacket’s right sleeve and couldn’t figure out why. Then again, I was really feeling the lack of sleep, my brain not really working anymore, so instead of realizing that it had probably ended up out of shape after struggling to get it off after sitting down, and with that guy sitting next to me, or at least looking to see what was going on, I just kept trying to push my arm through until I gave up and just stood there, with the jacket hanging partially off me, waiting for others to move and allow me to leave the seat… And not even using that time to look and see whether I had left anything behind. I actually remember thinking that I should look, but I just couldn’t quite “process” that idea, so I just stood there until I could get off the bus, still sort of holding on to that side of the jacket, and with the backpack also hanging off my back, since I could only put on one of its rope straps.
Another chance to set things right and check would have been at that point, but when I saw that the light was green, I just rushed to the metro station right away, and I’m not exactly sure but it’s possible that I even let go of that side of the jacket when I dug out the metro card. And the metro came right away, so things hadn’t changed when I got on and deciding to sit down when I spotted a free seat between two women meant that I once again found myself with very little room to move, so I eventually forced my arm through and heard something tear, though at least I could get both the jacket and the backpack on properly after that. And, while what I did while I still sat down was gone from my mind even before I got back, I know that I got up before the metro reached Dristor, to make my way to the back, and once again thought that I should turn to look whether I had left anything behind but still couldn’t get myself to do so, just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. Either way, I switched at Dristor, since that metro was also leaving right away, and I was almost back here when I realized that I hadn’t taken the keys out of the backpack, so I started digging through it while walking, but since I couldn’t find them like that, I put it down on the bench that’s next to the building entrance… And I think that I just took out two water bottles before managing to find the keys and struggling to unlock and walk in while holding the backpack and the bottles in my hands. But, of course, when my brain was pretty much shutting down, I can’t be certain that I didn’t take out something else as well and then just left it there, since I once again didn’t even turn to look after stepping away from the bench.
It was almost 5:10 PM when I got back here, then I took everything out of the backpack and pockets, took off those clothes, sewed the tear from the jacket’s sleeve, leaving another one that I noticed after that, read The Lords of Midnight: The War of the Solstice, wrote the quick review, to have something as the week’s first post… And it was only as I got ready to leave again and meant to take a picture of a receipt from Carrefour that contained one of those vouchers, in case it’ll be taken away, that I realized that I didn’t have the camera! I hadn’t noticed that it was missing when I took everything out and rushing to read that novella and write that quick review meant that I didn’t look for it in order to copy the pictures on the computer, so if I wouldn’t have wanted to take that picture I wouldn’t have realized it even then. Either way, I looked around, confirming that it really wasn’t here, and then sent a message to the NGO who organized the event, and I received a reply saying that they’ll contact the bus company… And my mistake was wanting to believe that they’ll sort it out and I won’t have to talk to anyone, so I didn’t ask for the contact information. And I was pretty much in shock anyway, not that it made much of a difference when my brain was already functioning so badly because of the lack of sleep.

I still went out again, as planned, when it was almost 7:45 PM, finally wearing a mask… And a man was sitting on that bench at that point, but instead of asking him whether he saw anything, I shied away from even really looking in that direction, just going back to the spot where I had started digging through the backpack and looking around. However, I didn’t remember locking the door, so I then rushed back to check, finding that I had locked it and then walking out again. And it was only at that point that I beeped dad, telling him that I had lost the camera when he called back. Of course, he said that it’s just a thing, it doesn’t matter, we’ll get another, being unable and unwilling to understand that it does matter for me, and ignoring the fact that the pictures aren’t something that you can buy again, and most of those that were still on that card were taken by him. I do hope that he had at least saved those from grandmother’s 100th birthday, and he later said that he did, but didn’t know where, and I’m not aware of him ever finding or even searching for them since then.
Either way, I went to Carrefour Park Lake, to get beer for him, getting three in order to be able to use that voucher, but being unable to because it can’t be used for alcohol, which had obviously slipped my mind at the time… And it also slipped the cashier’s mind, so she initially called for help, but realized it before anyone actually came and told me what the problem was, so I just paid normally. Then I put the beer in the backpack and took the metro to Pallady, entering Auchan with the backpack and just finding one last bread for dad, but none for myself. There was one more thing that I should have looked for, also for dad, but I forgot, so I just got him some water as well, using the little amount that was on the store card at the self-checkout.
The schedule I saw on the door of that Kaufland listed the closing time as 11 PM, but it also stated that it was going to switch to those hours from April 10 and I obviously just ignored that part, thinking that I had plenty of time, putting everything in a cabinet, probably going to the toilet, though there’s a chance that I just washed my hands, and walking in when it was past 9:35 PM. And the low evening discount that I saw for that bread, and which I confirmed after scanning the label, reinforced my belief that the store wasn’t about to close, so I didn’t get any, but I did get something else that I could use as bread, since that did have a good evening discount. And I also found those small bottles of Pepsi Max that were sold for next to nothing those days, in exchange for recycling five items, probably being left because, as I had noticed on the way in, the recycling machines weren’t working at that time. So I got two, in order to use the vouchers from two days earlier, when I couldn’t find any, and also some radishes that had an evening discount. A woman had one of those scanners that those who have the app can use and she said that they scanned at full price, but I went to a self-checkout and confirmed the discounted price, letting her know as well. And then, after also getting a large pack of toilet paper, I was checking the expiring products when I was surprised by the closing announcement, only then realizing the date and rushing to the self-checkout. Then I retrieved what I had in the cabinet, arranging a little before walking out and doing a better job once I was outside, so it was past 10:15 PM when I walked away. And I switched the metro at Dristor despite just missing one when I got there, not wanting to walk more than I had to at that point.
It was almost 11:05 PM when I got back again, with almost 18 kg. I then ate an apple pastry that I already had, drank a Pepsi Max, went to the bathroom at 12:10 AM, to use the toilet and wash, and got back in the kitchen at 1:35 AM. Then I put the purchases in their place and ate dinner between 3:25 AM and 4:05 AM.

I didn’t even manage to finish the part about April 8 before midnight, editing the post in order to add the last paragraph and finish the one before it a little later. And I really can’t afford to use yet another post for the events that are related to this matter, so I mean to edit this post yet again in order to add those as well. The original plan also included two days from July that I meant to add in full while I’m at it, but that’s impossible, so I added the following section gradually, making two edits Monday evening, one more in the early hours of Tuesday, before going to bed, yet another Wednesday evening, and the final one in the early hours of Thursday, before going to bed. And this, at 7795 words, or 7808 if you include the title, is now the longest post I ever wrote.

Since there had been no further reply, on the morning of April 11, before going to bed, I sent another message to the NGO, and after I got up I saw a reply saying that the transport firm said that they didn’t find anything. So I asked whether they could post something or ask the firm to somehow let me have a look in that bus as well, and they posted on the event, not on their page, saying that it was all they could do and that the firm tells them if they find anything and didn’t. So I sent another message, saying that I meant posting on their page and asking whether they could give the firm my contact information or whether it’d help if I’d talk to them directly, but I received no further reply that day.
I was a mess, just ate some walnuts, what little I could pick from another banana that was going bad and the two mini cakes that I still had, crawled back in bed in the evening, after that message and also sending dad an e-mail, and when I got back up I called him and cried on the phone. He was no help, of course, and he also said that he’ll call after the midnight news, which he had been working on at the time, but never did. However, despite thinking that I won’t be able to eat anything else, I forced myself to at least try to make mamaliga and add some fish brought by him in it, so it won’t spoil, and I managed to do that and even eat probably just under half of it, and after checking some more things on-line and moving what was left into a bowl, I ended up finishing scraping the pot at 3:50 AM. And I sent another message to the NGO before going to bed, to specifically ask for the transport firm’s contact information.
Since dad had said that he’ll once again bring something, I got up a little after he got back… And seeing that he had bought more egg dye from the brand that had a contest during that period but didn’t bring a receipt even though I had told him to do so, saying that he had purchased it from a stall from a market, also paying more as a result, was enough to make me have another breakdown when I was barely hanging on by a thread. So I was crying and desperate, but he just ignored me until I managed to stop crying for a while and sort of shuffled around, at which point we exchanged a few more words… Until I pretty much went catatonic, so I was just standing in the middle of the living room while he was on the computer and ate and did whatever else he was doing at the time, completely ignoring me even when he had to move past me, squeezing around each time. I have no idea how long that lasted, I just kept running various scenarios about the camera through my mind, only finally moving again after he went to bed. It was so hard, but I took it step by step, move by move, and even washed what he had used before getting back to my room… And the door handle snapped when I closed the door and it seemed loose and hanging low after that, but it still worked and everything seemed fine when I took it apart, that evening, so it’s still like that, but still works. But, to return to that morning, I also did the day’s squats at that point, since I hadn’t, and finally got back in bed at 8:35 AM. I was so scared to check my messages in the evening, after dad left for a while, but there was nothing at that point, yet when I checked again, later, I saw one asking me to call someone from the NGO the following day.
So I did, after getting back from the run, going to the toilet and writing the times, but on the first attempt it rang for a long time and eventually stopped, when I tried again the call was rejected rather quickly, and that also happened when I tried yet again, 20 minutes later, so I sent a message to say who I was and that I’ll try again the following day, if it was too late then, since it had been 6:20 PM when I made the first attempt. On the other hand, it was also on April 13 when I received a reply to the e-mail sent to the Subway Police, in case I had somehow taken the camera out on the metro and it was found by someone who didn’t just take it, but they just told me to call a certain number.
So I made those calls the following day, starting by trying to reach the person from the NGO once again, and once again being unable to. On the other hand, someone from the Subway Police did answer, and while he initially said that they only had documents there, not items of higher value, and the colleagues who’d know whether something like that was found were going to return to work after Easter, he nevertheless said that he was going to check what he could and call back in ten or 15 minutes. He only did so quite some time later, however, when I was almost at Park Lake, since I had gone out, and just to say that he couldn’t find anything like that, but that I should go to a certain place after Easter and ask there, since all such objects that are found are brought there.
And the person from the NGO also finally answered when I tried again, before leaving, and I was surprised when I realized that it was their program director, not the social media person that I assumed it was, since that message had only been signed with a first name and they have the same one. And she said that she wanted to tell me personally that buses tend to be a black hole for objects of value, and they never recovered anything of the sort in their 15 years of organizing such events. Other things, yes, and she even said that they had recovered a vest lost on that same bus that day, but when it comes to something like this, she’d be inclined to say that I should forget about it. Still, I asked for the transport company’s contact information, but she said that, while I could obviously try, it’s not really a company; they work with a woman who assigns buses from a common pool, so you pretty much have to deal with each individual driver, and that one said that he had looked thoroughly and supposedly didn’t find it. But I pressed, saying that I had found the name of the coordinator who had been on that bus by checking the pictures, and in one posted by her I saw the license plate of that bus, and she confirmed that it was the correct one, so I asked whether there was any way for me to have a look in it as well, just in case, and she said that they could try to arrange something like that, hanging up to look up the driver’s contact information and then sending me an SMS with the phone number and name, but telling me to let her call him first. However, when she called back she said that things were even murkier, since he had said that it wasn’t his bus and gave her another number, and nobody answered at that number, which made things even more suspicious.
On the other hand, what made me feel quite awkward was that she said that they also considered reimbursing me for the camera, since they realized that they had no disclaimer stating that they’re not responsible for lost items, so that was something that they had to fix before the next event. But losing it was my fault and I said so, and that it wouldn’t have much of a financial value at that point anyway, mentioning how much I had spent on it and how old it was, and that it’d have even less value for whoever took it, since they’d need a charger as well, which makes me think that it wouldn’t really be worth taking, especially since pretty much any smartphone takes better pictures now. And I added that it’s worth more for me and my parents, especially considering the pictures that are on the card, and that I could offer a reward, or trade the charger for the card if someone really wanted the camera. She really sounded like she felt bad about it and didn’t quite know what else to say, but didn’t think that there were any realistic chances of finding it, though she still said that she’ll wait to hear back from that guy and maybe we’ll be able to go and have a look. And she also told to not call that guy whose number she had given me right away… So I didn’t do that at all, waiting for more news, though there was nothing else that day.
In fact, nothing else happened until after Easter, unless you count the fact that I had another breakdown on Easter Monday. But I won’t write about that here, moving on to the next day, April 18, when I went to the Subway Police, reaching the Unirii 2 metro station at 1:45 PM, after jogging about half the way, since I had been told to get there by 2 PM. Actually, that guy had said both 2 PM and 3 PM during the conversation and I didn’t ask which it was, choosing the safer option, which proved to be the correct one. The problem was that I didn’t have much time in that case and couldn’t find that place while searching through the parts of the station that could be reached without a valid card, so I eventually asked the cashier and she told me where to go, opening a gate for me, since it’s actually past the gates and I said that I didn’t have a valid card. And when I got there I understood why I had been told to be there by 2 PM, because after saying that I was told to ask there about a missing object, saying that it was a camera, I was told to wait outside for a moment because they were just changing shifts. And, of course, when someone came out, she said that they didn’t have anything like that and took my name and phone number, in case it’ll somehow show up… Which obviously didn’t happen.
It was only on April 20 that I received the number of that second bus driver from the person from the NGO, after asking whether the lack of any news meant that she hadn’t heard back from him, which she confirmed. However, the following day, after getting back from the run and having lunch, I also tried to call him and, while nobody answered on the first two attempts, I tried one more time just before leaving again that evening and he did answer… But he said that he doesn’t drive the bus with that license plate and couldn’t understand why I’d have been given his number, since he has his own firm and the one who drove that bus works for another one, so perhaps there had been a misunderstanding and that other guy meant that someone else from that firm usually drives that bus, and he advised me to explain that to the people from the NGO and try to contact that firm, mentioning a name but not giving me any contact information. He probably knew it and if I’d have asked I’d have likely slashed what ended up being almost another month of waiting, but this was well outside of the scenario that I had prepared and even written down and I can’t exactly think when I’m talking to someone, so I only later realized that I should have asked… Especially since he seemed really nice, taking some time to explain the situation, which led to figuring out that he had driven the bus that I had arrived there on, so the one who picked us up after the first one broke down, and then said that he had been the first to leave that day, while I had left with the last one, and he told me a couple of things about each of the other buses that were used for that event, and also said that he takes pride in his work and such a loss would be a bad thing… And that someone had lost an object on his bus as well and they got it back after two or three days.
I already wrote about the breakdown I had on the evening of April 22, and there was another one on April 24, but I won’t write about it here, so I’ll move on to April 28, before the run, when I noticed that I had a reply from the other driver, the one whose contact information I had been initially given, after having decided to look him up on Facebook and send a message. But I only managed to get myself to read it at night, before going to bed, seeing that he said that he drives for the city bus company and didn’t drive other buses since 2017, so it must be a mistake, though he confirmed that his phone number was the one that I had been given.
So I sent another e-mail to the person from the NGO, asking whether the previous one, which she hadn’t replied to, had somehow gotten lost, telling her what that driver told me and asking who the coordinator from that bus actually talked to. And the following day sent I message to that coordinator as well, to ask for any information that she might have. She never replied, however, while the reply I received from the other person, which I again saw before a run, the one from April 30, but only read at night, before going to bed, said that the second number, the one of the driver whom I had also actually called, was what they received from the firm they worked with for the bus that I had been in, she thought that it was correct when she gave it to me and they can’t do more than that.
Even though she had confirmed the license plate on the phone, that reply made me even more convinced that they hadn’t even asked the correct driver, and in fact hadn’t even been trying to reach him, despite probably meaning to. Either that or somebody was lying to my face, of course, but I had been thinking that they had mixed up the buses ever since speaking with that other driver, or more exactly since he mentioned that object which had been lost and recovered from his bus. I’m not exactly sure, but I think that he even said that it was also a vest, which would be a strange coincidence. And, even though people obviously aren’t always on the same bus both ways, for some reason they only take the names of those who are on each bus on the way to the location, not also on the way back, so while she might have known which bus I was talking about, she had probably only been made aware of the situation when I kept pressing and it seemed likely that whoever had initially handled it just searched for my name on the lists and went from there, ignoring the fact that I had said that I had returned on the bus which had been the last to leave, and when they discussed the matter they somehow never realized that they were talking about different buses. I don’t know whether that’s the case and nobody ever confirmed it, but at that point it definitely seemed that way.
Since nothing else happened over the next few days, I ended up sending a message to the activist from the “old guard” who works for the other NGO whose tree planting events I attend, briefly explaining what happened and asking whether they could somehow track down the driver of that bus, in case they happen to work with the same firms, and she replied to say that she’ll ask her colleagues and get back to me. And, since I had tracked down the firm of the driver that I had talked to on the phone, before going out to walk the route of the half marathon, on May 5, I also sent him an e-mail, asking for any information he might have about the firm or the actual driver of that bus… And I have no idea whether it was just a strange coincidence or the result of one of these messages, since that driver never replied and the “old guard” activist didn’t say anything else, not even when I told her what I had received and thanked her and her colleagues in case they had anything to do with it, but minutes after sending that e-mail I received one from someone claiming to be from the firm who had organized the transport and when I could get myself to read it, the next day, I saw that it contained two screenshots of what was supposedly the talk with the driver of that bus. However, the names were hidden and the screenshots were from different apps, one containing the message sent by the NGO, which included my initial message, which they had forwarded, and a comment stating that it seemed that their firm’s bus had been the last to leave, and the other containing a message from someone who said that nothing was found on his bus and that the other drivers should also be asked. However, the previous message exchanged with this person, also contained in the screenshot, was from January, so I couldn’t see who he was or what he had been told, and in fact there was nothing to prove that the two screenshots were even connected.
So I replied to ask for the contact information, and saying what I had tried until then, what I had meant to do and that I had only received wrong information until then, so it seemed like the question hadn’t been sent to the right driver. And that caused me to be even more messed up, and a tiny bit of cabbage falling off the cutting board and onto the table at night was enough to make me stop working on the salad, whimper for a while and turn off the TV, since I just couldn’t deal with any sounds anymore. But at least I did finally receive the correct contact information the following day, which allowed me to also look up that driver on Facebook, the picture, taken right in front of that bus, immediately confirming that he really was the correct one.
My attempt to avoid calling by sending a message only resulted in a few more lost days, however, since he didn’t reply, so on May 10, after the run, I finally called as well… And the contrast between that conversation and the one with that other driver is why I said that things might have been different if I’d have been able to return on that same bus, assuming that I did actually lose the camera on the bus. I mean, he immediately sounded exasperated, saying that some 3000 pairs of hands had been through that bus since then, since it happened so long ago, and everyone contacts the drivers but they don’t know anything. He did say that, since the pandemic, the drivers also handle the cleaning and anything else, but that if he’d have found anything, he’d have left it at the garage. And he told me about someone who had apparently annoyed him by insisting to recover her child’s hat, and when I tried to press he said that I was like that woman, and asked whether I thought that he had taken the camera. I asked whether he had even been asked about it back then, but he said that he couldn’t remember. And he dismissed my attempts to say that someone might have found it and brought it to him, maybe even on another trip, in case it was missed at first, or that he might have been, or might yet be, contacted by someone who took it but then had a change of heart, maybe after seeing the pictures that were on the card. And when I asked him to at least save my contact information, in case it will somehow turn up or he’ll learn anything, he stressed that the chance of that happening is zero, and I could almost hear him gritting his teeth.
With the chance of him agreeing to let me have a look in the bus, just in case, also seeming to be zero, I didn’t even mention it, but I did send another e-mail to the person who had sent me his contact information, asking whether it could be arranged, and when she told me to discuss it with the driver I said that it didn’t seem like a good idea, considering how the call went, and asked for the contact information of the firm that owned the bus, being given the name and phone number of a person. So I also found her on Facebook and sent a message, and when I received no reply I used the information from her profile to search for the firm’s site and contact information, sending an e-mail on May 16. And I did receive a reply, on May 18, from that very same person, but she only said that she was very sorry but there was nothing she could do, and that she trusts the driver, because money or phones lost on his bus were returned, and if the camera was left on the seat then someone else from that group might have taken it, so I should also ask the person who sat next to me. So I sent another reply, on May 19, to say that I’d still like to have a look in that bus, even if a long time had passed and the chances were what they were, at least to try to figure out what I might have done with it, and that it likely wasn’t on the seat but either fallen or shoved somewhere, maybe between or behind the seat. But I didn’t receive any other reply and couldn’t get myself to try another contact method or even send another e-mail.
The last thing left to do was to put some signs in the building, in case I had actually left it on that bench, somebody from here took it and seeing a sign might somehow make them have a change of heart. I had initially asked dad whether he’d be fine with it and with including his phone number and the apartment number, and whether he’d print the text, and he agreed, but then he never mentioned it again, so on May 11, when I paid the maintenance bill, I also asked that guy whether I could do that and he said that he’d have no problem with it, but he also wouldn’t know anything about it and I should talk to two other people whom I didn’t know. I didn’t do that, and didn’t even tell dad to, but I did remind him of the sign, also sending him a file to print, if he agreed to have his phone number and the apartment number on it… Only for him to send back a different text, but still with those numbers, so at the time I told him to forget it, since I was only asking for his approval for that information, the text had to be mine. However, in the early hours of June 2, when he was away and I had to drop a bag of trash down the chute, since he had forgotten to take it before leaving, I printed the file, albeit with my phone number instead of his, and put a sign on the elevator door, on the ground floor, and another on the entrance, on the inside, though I had placed the sticky tape on the signs before walking out and hadn’t thought of the fact that they should be on different sides, so the one from the entrance required twisting the sticky tape around, which made it much easier to remove, but I didn’t want to come back and redo it. Either way, both were gone by the time I went out again, that evening, and I didn’t replace them, nor did I try anything else since then…

Reading this book shortly after Brilliant Green probably made me have an even better opinion of it, since it’s so much better. The author presents a lot of information at a rapid pace, but to some extent also wraps it in a narrative and helps the reader draw some mental images that make it that much easier to read and understand. Also, while making connections and returning to various matters when appropriate, he doesn’t dwell on any one issue, avoids “preaching” and, in fact, doesn’t insist on conclusions or interpretations. They do exist, but they’re usually just mentioned briefly, along with either a reference to either a study or a personal experience that supports them, or with the statement that they’re merely personal opinions, and then the author moves on.
The overall picture is rather sad, for both trees and people. In some ways, like understanding how hurt most trees are and how many are dying for periods ranging between years and centuries before they can no longer hold on, that’s unavoidable, since that’s life. And the unpleasant feelings generated by truly understanding that any proper rewilding, or in fact even the growth of pretty much any tree that actually develops properly, can’t be observed in one lifetime, and perhaps not even over a few generations, should likely be fought against, because they’re the result of selfishness. But seeing those periods of time as how long it’ll take to fix the damage and understanding how doomed and potentially harmful even well-intentioned efforts, like planting trees or creating urban green spaces, usually are is a painful reminder of how hopeless the situation is.
Otherwise, I find little to complain about when it comes to the book itself, except perhaps that it focuses too much on local matters and experiences but is presented as generally applicable. However, the translated edition that I read could have been adapted to some extent and it wasn’t, plus that there were a handful of obvious translation mistakes, so I wonder how many others I failed to notice.

Rating: 4/5

Considering how things are going and how hard it is for anything even remotely positive to pass, I fully expected deep-sea mining to be given the green light these days, despite the opposition going beyond environmentalists, scientists and communities that would be directly impacted by it and growing to include financial institutions, corporations and powerful states, leading to desperate calls for a final push to try to save what could still be saved. However, that didn’t happen. Of course, there was also no ban or even moratorium and even discussing such a proposal was blocked, and a loophole that allows applications to be submitted despite the lack of any regulations remains, but at the moment it seems that the destruction of the deep sea was delayed for at least two more years, and China apparently even agreed to allow discussions about a moratorium next year, not that such an agreement is worth anything at this time.
What makes the whole situation even more absurd is that, when what’s needed is fixing the damage already caused, without causing any more, an argument used by those pushing for deep-sea mining is that it’s needed for the green transition, which really is like prescribing “smoking to lower stress”. I mean, the deep ocean is a place we didn’t yet directly destroy because it’s so hard to get there that we know very, very little about it. That doesn’t mean that we’re not already having a massive negative impact, indirectly, because of what ends up in the oceans, but at least we’re not actually tearing it apart just yet, which is what will certainly happen if we’ll go there, because hardly knowing anything about it makes it absolutely impossible to come up with any sort of regulations and claim that any sort of protections would be in place. Not that any regulations and protections that were cobbled together for the parts of this world that we do know enough about did much good, considering the magnitude of the environmental crisis that we have created and continue to worsen.
If this meeting would have gone the way I expected it to, it’d have been another “great” moment to repeat that Babylon 5 quote that I keep returning to: “That does seem to be the rule, doesn’t it? Analyze the problem, choose whichever strategy makes least sense and then do it.” And it still seems likely that the final decision will once again prove that rule correct, even if after a delay. But maybe, just maybe, some things will eventually change, the question in that case becoming how many more parts of the ecosystem, how many more species, and even how many more people, it will be too late for. Because, for far too many, it already is…